Chapter 1

Angelus sat alone in the dark drinking his third glass of whiskey. It had been three long months since the judge had slammed his gavel down granting the divorce. His hair was longer then usual and disheveled, however not purposely. He had quite a bit of stubble. Uncharacteristically he wore dirty sweats and an oversized t-shirt. He sat behind his desk staring at the multitude of pictures he had of his wife, no ex-wife. Angelus ran his fingers over her face over and over again wishing she were actually there.

Breaking down in sobs he remembered the only encounter he had had with her since the divorce. It had been two weeks later he had went to her house at two in the morning. Mournfully he noticed the for sale sign up in the yard. Using the key he had, he figured she did not know that, he let himself in. Slowly he made his way inside searching for her. Sadly he saw the boxes of her things stacked up in the dining room. He still remembered the moving team accompanied by the police coming in packing up her things.

Slowly he made his way up the stairs finally finding her asleep in her old bedroom. He sat down in the chair by her bed and just watched her for a long time. He couldn't believe she wasn't his anymore. Silent tears began to stream down his face. Hesitantly he reached out and began to rake his fingers through her hair. Buffy's eyes flew open as she sat up then quickly backed away from the intruder. Squinting she recognized her ex-husband immediately.

"Angelus what the hell are you doing here?," she asked disbelievingly.

"I… God Buffy I miss you so much. Please," he began to beg.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!," she began to scream.

"Please baby don't do this," he started to sob out harder.

"I'll call the police," she said as she reached for the phone.

"I'll leave just please answer me one question," he pleaded.

"Fine what?," she asked exasperated.

"Four years Buffy. Did you ever love me?," he questioned.

"Yes I did, but what you did to me was always there. Now get out and give me the damn key you have," she said holding out her hand.

"Baby please I'm so sorry… I… if I could take it back I would in a heart beat," he cried.

"You can't take it back. Now leave," she demanded one last time.

Angelus stood and made his way towards her. He placed the keys in her hand then dropped to his knees in front of her. Quickly he wrapped his arms around her sobbing into her. "I love you so much please don't do this to me," he begged over and over again. Buffy stood there amazed at how he was acting. She had never really seen Angelus break down like this before. Slowly she pried his arms from her then stepped away. "Don't make me call the police. Just leave," she said as she turned her back on him. Angelus stood then slowly made his way out of the house. He hadn't seen her since.

He'd driven by her house on more then one occasion. One day three weeks later a sold sign was slapped over the for sale sign. Angelus had nearly veered off the road and rammed right into the modest two story home. Making his way home he'd been devastated. He'd been pretty much in the same state since. Drinking himself into oblivion. He no longer went to work. He didn't call anyone nor did he visit anyone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy had finally found the perfect home for her and her unborn child. She'd moved to the outskirts of LA. Hopefully Angelus wouldn't be able to find her here. The visit he'd made to her not long ago had really unnerved her. She'd quickly sold the house and moved in with Willow until she was able to find her own home. Now three months later she had just finished unpacking the last box of her things.

She'd managed to find a part time job at a pre-school not far from her house. They were great and were willing to allow her to bring the baby with her once she was able to return to work. She hadn't told Angelus she was pregnant and she battled within herself every day if she should or not. She knew deep down that as the father he had the right to know, however she wanted to cut her ties with him. The emotional scars she still carried from her time as his captive were still present every day. She didn't know if she would ever be able to get over what he'd done to her.

Buffy let out a sigh as she sat down on the couch with a resounding plop. Looking around her new home she let out a big smile followed by raucous laughter. She was finally free of him. She had her own home in her own city. While in Sunnydale after the divorce she was always looking over her shoulder. Angelus had kidnapped her once before and she wasn't about to let it happen again. The night he'd let himself into her home she had been more scared then she'd let on. She had been more then relieved when he'd left and had immediately called Willow and went over there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Angelus knew exactly where Buffy was. He knew she'd purchased a small townhouse on the outskirts of LA. He knew she had a job at the pre-school six blocks from her house. Although he himself did not go in search of her he had hired somebody to tail her for him. Looking at the recent report tears sprang forth in his eyes. More then likely she was pregnant and with his child. However, she had yet to tell him. He wondered if she would ever tell him. Picking up a picture he saw his love with Willow looking at an ultrasound picture. The looks on their faces were pure happiness. Slamming his fist down on his deck he quickly grabbed the nearest bottle of liquid fire and downed it. Doyle watched silently as he sat in front of the man.

"It may not be my place Angelus, but maybe the lass would take you back if you weren't a raging alcoholic," Doyle offered.

"You're right it isn't your place. What goes on between me and Buffy does not concern you," Angelus gritted out.

"Hey hey now calm down. So you want me to continue tailing her?," Doyle asked.

"Yes find out everything you can about the doctor she's seeing as well. See if you can't find a nursing assistant low on cash. I want to know everything about the health of my child… we lost one before… it was difficult for her," he explained his voice filled with sorrow.

"Why don't you talk to the lass," Doyle tried one more time.

"Damn it Doyle you get paid well so just do your damn job," Angelus said slamming his fist down on the desk causing a glass to tumble over the edge breaking in the process.

"Alright I'll see in you in a few days," Doyle said as he stood and left the darkened office.

Angelus leaned back in his chair closing his eyes as he took in several deep breaths. He had nearly fallen asleep when his phone began to ring. Groaning he picked up giving a gruff greeting into the phone. Quickly he changed his tune when he realized it was Dawn.

"Hey Dawnie," he said lightly into the phone.

"Hey Angel what have you been up to?," Dawn asked.

"Nothing much… I've been better," he admitted.

"Well I had a question to ask you," Dawn baited.

"Shoot," he said as he leaned back in his chair.

"Well summer break is coming up and I was wondering if I could stay with you? Maybe intern at your law firm?," she asked hopefully.

"What about your sister?," he asked.

"What about her? I don't want to stay with her," she admitted angrily.

"Dawn don't be mad at your sister. She loves you," Angelus explained.

"Well I thought she loved you too," Dawn said.

"Me too Dawn… me too," Angelus sadly said.

"Well come on can I or not?," she whined.

"Yes you can, but you have to see your sister too. Make sure she's alright for me?," he asked hopefully.

"Deal. Thank you so much. Love ya bro. I'll call you before I come out," she said.

"Alright I love you too Dawn," he said into the phone before hanging up.

Angelus stood up and stretched his limbs. Groaning as he caught his reflection in the mirror he figured he was due for a shower. Angelus was very pleased that he would have Dawn as an unknowing spy. He knew Buffy had never told anyone about what had happened four years ago. He was confident that while she may tell her closest friend that she would not divulge that information to Dawn. Buffy was not vindictive in the least bit and she knew the special relationship Dawn shared with Angelus. Making his way to the bathroom Angelus began to think of how he could bring Buffy back into his life.