The Edge
How close have you gotten to the edge? Have you teetered on that tiny ledge, or merely deigned to peer over it, contemplating the possible length of your fall? Or perhaps you never even neared it. You were either too afraid, of your never felt the desire to take a stupid risk… I jumped.
That's right. Over the edge. And you know what? I've realized that it was probably the biggest mistake I'd ever made.
Sure, I thought there was nothing left to live for. I thought there was no one who loved me. No one to miss me. How wrong was I?
My entire life was full of sorrow, but it's not the same when you're the one being mourned, and not the mourner. To see the faces of the people I hurt tore my heart asunder. People did care, I just didn't realize it while I lived. If I had known, I probably wouldn't have killed myself.
How did I do it? A gun to my head. Nothing impressive… Oh, you mean how did I do it. That's slightly more complicated.
When I was little, my parents died. After that, countless other people. Then, what had to be the most painful of all, Duet.
I loved them all, each in their own way, but Duet was special. A kindred spirit. I had thought the Goddess of Compensation was rewarding me for all my hard times by sending her to me, but it turned out that she herself was the Goddess of Compensation, and even her powers were no match for Death.
That's right. I killed her. It was all my fault, no matter what anyone tells me.
My friends tried to console me, but it was in vain. Her death pushed me over the edge. Nothing would ever be right again in my world. So I took the easy way out.
I was foolish to think we would be reunited in Death. Her soul, though not spotless, was worthy of Heaven, while my blackened and disfigured spirit deserved to be banished to the depths of Hell. I won't deny it. I've done so many things wrong.
My name? It's no longer important. Not that I ever really had one.
But I think I see the light now. It's far away, but it's growing closer every second. Perhaps these tormented thoughts were my purgatory. Perhaps I will see her on the other side.
But I will never know if I don't take the risk, now will I?
Dedicated to A.H.
Even though I didn't know him myself,
I knew the people who loved him.
Suicide is NEVER an option.
There. My moral lesson for the day.