Music to his life
Timeline: Set during Day One.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of its characters. Just borrow them occasionally to have a little play.
The beep of the monitor, the drip of the IV, the rhythmic hiss of the ventilator, the music to his life. Telling him that she was still alive. Telling him that there was still hope.
While he was gone, her blood pressure had dropped. The machine had sent a warning to his wristwatch. It wasn't a good time. He was scanning though photographs of girls that an alien sex gas may have taken over. Just a normal day at Torchwood.
He left anyway. They wouldn't notice. They never noticed him. And hopefully he wouldn't be gone long.
She was whimpering when he arrived. Soft mewls like an injured cat. He felt that familiar pain in his chest. He had to force himself through the invisible wall at the entrance to her room before racing to her side.
"Lisa, what's wrong sweetie? Tell me where it hurts."
"My abdomen." she said. When it first happened, she would say tummy or stomach. Now it was clinical. They'd gotten very good at this.
"Tell me when it hurts." he said expertly pushing at different parts of her stomach, just like she had shown him. So many organs, so many things that could go wrong.
When he pressed low, just above her pelvis, she cried out in pain. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he said.
"That's alright love." she said but her tone was dead.
"What should I do? Is it the drugs? More bleeding?" Ianto's pulse quickened. There had been internal bleeding before. It had been bad. He had to remove her spleen and part of her liver, with her still awake and telling him what to do. He didn't know if he could do that again.
"We need the Bekaran deep-tissue scanner." she said.
"I'll get it." he turned to leave.
"Ianto."
"Yes."
"Will they notice you gone?"
"I don't care."
"You need to care. They'll find me."
"I'm sorry," he said immediately contrite. The fear made him reckless. "I'm doing a job for them. Finding this girl. Once I find her they'll go."
"How long will it take you to do it?" she asked.
"An hour, maybe less." he said.
"Hook up some blood. It will buy me some time." So calm, so brave, he thought.
Jack had noticed he was gone. "Ianto, where were you?"
"Loo, sir." he said.
"You were gone over ten minutes."
"I think it was the kebab, sir." Ianto said with a well-practiced blush.
"Just get on with it. We are under a bit of time pressure here." Jack's tone betrayed his agitation. This case was getting to him. The humour in sex aliens aside, someone had died, and that wasn't funny. Not even a little bit.
"I know sir." Ianto said. He was already flicking through the images. He was under a time pressure too.
Stealing Owen's scanner had been too easy. It was absurd how much they trusted him.
Lisa was paler when he got to her. Her blood pressure had dropped even further.
"Sweetie." he said running to her side, tenderly grasping her hand and pressing a kiss to her cold cheek.
"You need to run the scan now." He could hear the hitch in her voice. The pain was worse.
He fumbled with the buttons and then ran the machine across her belly.
"Keep it steady. It won't get a good image." she said.
"I'm sorry." he said and put a second hand out to steady the shake in the other.
"Now show me the readings." He held the machine in front of her. "It's my uterus. It will have to come out."
Ianto felt his eyes fill with tears. "Are you sure?"
"Yes the cybernetic connections have caused it to bleed. It will need to be removed."
"Can't we fix the bleed?"
"The chances of success are low. I might die if it isn't removed."
"Baby, I'm so sorry." Ianto put his arms around her middle and pushed his tear wet face into stomach. Feeling the warmth of that small circle of uncovered soft flesh. The hard metal exoskeleton cut into his chin and forehead. He hardly noticed.
Before this, they'd talked about children. They were too young, but some day. Now it would never happen. There was little enough hope for the future and again another piece was being taken away. Ianto felt like he was in the cyber conversion unit, carved up until nothing was left.
"It's not a vital organ." she said her voice cold, clinical.
"You don't have to hold it in. It's ok honey, you can cry."
"Oh alright." she said and burst into tears.
The cyber conversion unit did most of the work. He had to guide it and suck up the blood. It felt wrong to let that thing enter her body again. But there was no other choice. There was only him.
It came out easily. Smaller than he thought. No bigger than a fist. How could something so small hold all his hopes?
Past the first bout of tears, Lisa didn't cry. Ianto tried to follow her lead, but with her, his impassive mask always cracked. After the operation, he sobbed openly.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." he cried.
She put her metal arm around him and patted him on the back. "It's alright." she said over and over again.
Back with the team, he laughed over Chinese. Laughed with abandon. He told Gwen he didn't care if Jack was gay. And he didn't care. Although the sexuality of his boss had consumed him. What did it matter if he was lusting after a man while his girlfriend was dying in the basement? The future was gone. He might as well eat his Singapore fried rice and enjoy.
If only Gwen hadn't said it. "What are we doing having Chinese when a girl fights for her life?"
Because there was another girl fighting for her life. Another girl who had just lost all her dreams.
So he returned to the basement to check the monitors and ventilator. To listen to the music of his life.
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