A/N: Okay. So here is a collection of mini fanfics I've been writing that include m annoying the sense out of none other then Zero. There is much crack involved. And tacos. Lots of tacos.
Designia: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD PIIIIIIGGGGGIIIIIEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!! *launches a dozen M-K missiles at the piggies* THEY'RE STILL THERE! MY TAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED REINFORCEMENTS! *dials phone* PICK UP, ZERO!!!!!
Zero: *over the phone* What?
Designia (me): THE PIGGIES ARE STEALING MY TACOS! IT'S AN EMERGENCY! DEPLOY THE KNIGHTMARE FRAMES! DEPLOY THE RUBBER CHICKENS! DEPLOY THE CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zero: Designia? I thought I killed you for pouring water on me while I was conversing with Schneizel in front of THE ENTIRE BLACK KNIGHT AND BRITANNAIN ARMY!
Designia: The power of fangirlism keeps me alive, Lulu! NOW SAVE THE TACOS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zero: *thinking* I can't have her leave the Black Knights since she's such a good Knightmare pilot...... If I do will you keep your mouth shut at all times and do only as I ask you to?
Designia: YES! JUST SAVE THE TACOS BEFORE THE EVIL PIGGIES EAT THEM!
Zero: Okay. I'm sending Kallen over.
Designia: YAY! MY TACOS WILL BE SAVED!!!!!!!
Zero" *hangs up*
LATER!!!!!!!!!
Kallen: Zero told me there was an emergency here.
Designia: YEAH! THE PIGGIES ARE STEALING MY TACOS! ZERO SAID HE'D SEND HELP IF I FOLLOWED HIS ORDERS ALL THE TIME AND KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT! NOW PLEASE SAVE MY TACOS!!!!!!
Kallen: *thinking* this all just a bad dream.....why not? *Destroys the piggies*
Designia: THANK YOU! YOU SAVED MY TACOS!!!!!!!! *eats tacos*
Kallen: *realizes it isn't a dream and slowly backs away, hoping to escape before she is noticed*
Designia: *continues eating tacos*
-/-
(A/N: Okay. Here's the story behind this one: My friend sent me a picture of her Oboe. And I had fun with it.)
Designia: It's an awesome Oboe
Tamaki: Yeah....
Zero: STOP STARING AT THE OBOE AND LOOK AT THE ROAD!!!!!!
CRASH!!!!
Designia: I like that Oboe...
Tamaki: Yeah...
Zero: *pinned inside the crashed car with the rest* I'm gonna kill you....
Designia: With an Oboe?
Zero: What? No!
Designia: Oh.....But Oboes are awesome!
Zero: I take that back. I'm going to kill you TWICE when I get out of here!!!!!
Designia: I want an Oboe...
Tamaki: Me too....
Zero: *plotting ways to kill Invader Designia and make it look like Britannia did it*
-/-
Designia: I want ice cream.
Zero: What? We're losing a battle against Britannia and that's all you can say?!
Designia: Pretty much. Do we have strawberry?
Zero: *sigh* No. Designia, you're needed on the front lines.
Designia: After ice cream.
Zero: Get out there now, Designia. And that's an order!
Designia: *salute/bow* Yes, Zero-sama!
NOW SWITCHING TO DIFFERENT FORMAT
Designia hopped into the cockpit of her Knightmare Frame, the Kakura X II. She fire up the hadrons and zoomed out of the hangar.
Soon she spotted a Glouster, and immediately flew over to it. She grabbed the cockpit within seconds and turned on the radio.
"I have a question."
"I'll never tell you, terrorist!"
"Really? I just wanted to ask if you liked tacos."
"W-what? Um..I like tacos, I guess..." The pilot of the Glouster was thoroughly confused.
"Hm...And have you ever seen a panda dance the Salsa?"
"Uh, no!"
"What is chicken?"
"Huh?"
"What is the code to contact Cornelia?"
"Uh, 4720M....Oh, crap!"
"Thank you for the info! This is your prize!" she handed him a large, bulky object and sped away.
He looked at it and tried to figure out what it was. And just when he identified it, it exploded.
BRITANNIAN COMMAND BASE
"Y-your Highness! The enemy is trying to make contact! Should we patch them through?"
"Yes. Now!" Cornelia commanded.
The screen blurred, then cleared. Showing a 17-year-old girl inside the cockpit of a Knightmare Frame.
SWITCHING BACK TO OLD FORMAT
Cornelia: What? I thought you would be Zero.
Designia. Nah. If he knew I was doing this he'd steal my Skittles again! But, anyway, I have contacted you for a reason.
Cornelia: You were a fool, Terrorist. Now we know your location! I've seen you with Zero before, and I don't think he'd take to kindly if we took you as a hostage!
Designia: *laughs* Are you kidding? He'd throw a celebration party and personally thank you, and add a side note telling you to kill me as soon as possible!
Cornelia: *confused*
Designia: Oh, he hates me more than Emperor Quaker Oats!
Cornelia: *snaps out of it* How dare you insult the name of the Britannian Emperor!
Designia: Oh really? Even attempt to capture me and I'll tell everyone about your Teddy Bear collection!
Cornelia: H-how do you know about that?
Designia: I'm a smart person.
Cornelia: Fine...What is it you want?!
Designia: Either the complete surrender of Britannia, or-
Cornelia: Are you mad! Why wou-
Designia: LET ME FINISH!!!! As I was saying, either the complete surrender of Britannia, or you give me a life time supply of Strawberry ice cream!!!
Cornelia: Is this some type of joke?
Designia: I NEVER joke about ice cream.
Cornelia: *looks at gigantic supply of ice cream conveniently in the room forlornly* Well....
Designia: You have ten seconds!
Designia: 1 Geass User, 2 Geass Users, 3 Geass Users, 4 Geass users, 5 Geass users, 6 Geass users....
Cornelia: FINE! You'll get your ice cream. BUT THIS IS NOT THE END!!!!
Designia: I don't intend it to be. I'm running low on tacos.
LATER!!!
Zero: *walks in his quarters and sees Designia surrounded by ice cream*
Designia: *looks up* I couldn't find a big enough refrigerator.
Zero: *under his breath* I can't kill her now, I can't kill her now....
LATER, IN FRONT OF ALL THE BLACK KNIGHTS!!!!!!!
Zero: *epic speech* THE BLACK KNIGHTS WILL CONTINUE ON THE PATH TO FREEDOM! RELEASING THIS NATION FROM THE CHAINS-
Designia: Psssst! Zero!
Zero: *ignore* -THAT HAVE BEEN PLACED ON IT! BRITANNIA WILL BE VANQUISHED!! WE, THE-
Designia: Psssssssssst! Zero!
Zero: *continues to ignore but his eye is twitching underneath the mask* -BLACK KNIGHTS WILL LEAD THE REBELLION FOREWORD! I NOW-
Designia: PSSSSSSSSSST! Zero!!!!!
Zero: *ignoring, but mentally notes to place Designia on janitor duty* -DECLARE THE-
Designia: PSSSSSSSSSST! ZERO!!!!!!
Zero: -FOUNDING OF *hit by rock* WHAT IS IT, DESIGNIA?!
Designia: You're founding 'What is it, Designia?'
Zero: Wha-no! What do you want?!
Designia: Can I tell somebody what your identity is? It's killing me here!
Zero: You interrupt me for THAT? I'm going to kill you....! *starts chasing Designia*
Designia: AHHHHH! *runs* I'm being chased by a insane masked terrorist with a gun! HEEEEEEEEEELP!
All of the Black Knights: *watch while eating popcorn*
Random Black Knight #1: Who knew Zero had such a temper?
Random Black Knight #2: Yeah..Oh, that's gotta hurt!
Random Black Knight #3: Why is Desingia fighting Zero with a teddy bear?
Random Black Knight #2: I don't know....But she's winning.
-/-
This is at the part in Code Geass where Lelouch is getting his memories erased by his dad. He's in a straitjacket.
Emperor Quaker Oats: I will now punish you for your insolence!
Designia: Taco taco taco!
Lelouch: And what will my punishment be, father?
Emperor Quaker Oats: I will erase your memories! You will forget everything, Nunnally, your heritage as a prince, Zero...
Lelouch: *actual dialog from Anime* NOOOO! First my mother and now Nunnally! Your taking what's most precious from me again! STOP!!!!
Designia: Taco! I want a taco! *looks around* Wait. How did I get here? I thought I was dancing with tacos!
Emperor Quaker Oats: *Geass* Charles Di Britannia engraves into you...
Designia: WHERE ARE YOU TACOS!!!!!!?!
Emperor Quaker Oats: Tacos? WAIT! NOT THAT! YOUR SUPPOSED TO FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE! NOT TACOS!
Lelouch: *goes unconscious as all of his memories of tacos are erased from his mind*
Suzaku: No! He has to pay! HE HAS TO PAY FOR EUPHIE'S DEATH! HE KILLED HER AND NOW HE HAS TO PAY!!!!!
Designia: Why?
Suzaku: Well....I dunno. He murdered her.....so...in all the movies the guy avenges his love's death.
Designia: Yeah...all the cliche movies.
Suzaku: You're right....I sold out my best friend for something as cliche as this...
Designia: *somehow manages to put on glasses whilst her hands are tied behind her in the straitjacket* Well, as a non-professional, I recommend you save your friend from his father who is attempting to strangle him. Then, give me a taco.
SUzaku: You're right! Not about the taco, though.
Designia: *sigh* they never listen. Now......*glares at Emperor Quaker Oats* YOU ERASED LULU'S MEMORY OF TACOS! YOU ERASED HIS MEMORY OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL THINGS! HOW COULD YOU?! TACOS HAVE RIGHTS, YOU KNOW!
Emperor Quaker Oats: Yeah....The right to be eaten....
Designia: True, true...but they also have the right to vote! RELEASE LULU-KUN SO I MAY HELP HIM LEAD HIS REBELLION! FOR THE TACOS!
Emperor Quaker Oats: *thinking* this girl is quite annoying...How has Lelouch put up with her? I wonder....*Gets idea*
Suzaku: *playing with some random teddy bear*
Emperor Quaker Oats: I've decided to...reward your kindness towards my son, Designia.......
2 DAYS LATER, 3 MINUTES AFTER ZERO RETURNED!!
Tohdoh: I didn't think the Emperor would let you leave so easily, though. Maybe he plans to use you for something?
Zero: Oh, he didn't let me go as easily as you think....*walks quickly out of the room as footsteps are heard*
Designia: *walks in wearing a taco hat, a Black Knights uniform decorate with taco prints, and pulling a wagon of tacos* Isn't the Emperor nice?! He gave me all this stuff as long as I kept doing exactly what I've already been doing!
All of the commanders (minus Zero): Annoying Zero?
Designia: NO! Supporting Zero and helping him with his rebellion! COME ON! LET'S DANCE THE SALSA IN TACO SUITS!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of the commanders (minus Zero, again): Zero was right....This is a rather fitting punishment....Please, kill me now!
-/-
Designia: Zero! I need a taco! Or I'll die!
Zero: *sigh* What makes tacos so important, anyway?
Designia: Don't you know? Tacos make the world go round! Long ago tacos were stolen from the earth. It happened. And Mankind died. Then were reborn as tacos! And monkeys evolved into the present mankind. True story.
Zero: While I so much enjoy listening to your idea of history, I have a country to destroy. SO if you'll excuse me...*runs out of room*
Designia: They never listen. Right, Timmy? *looks at taco*
Taco..er...I mean Timmy: Right.
Designia: *takes a bite out of Timmy*
Timmy: *screams*
Designia: Mmmm. Cheese.
A/N: That's all I have pre-written so far! But don't worry, I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow or Saturday. Promise!
Please review and tell me what you think! It is greatly appreciated! First reviewer gets the next chapter dedicated to them! Until then....
-Invader Designia