Disclaimer: I'm just a geeky fangirl that likes to play around; I own nothing.

Okay… Just a brief extra note. I will explain things more in depth on my author's page. I ended up pulling all of the chapters of this fanfic due to something rather stupid (people with too much time on their hands and their harassment). My page will have more information addressing that as well. When I resolved to repost them, I decided to do some editing first. While it certainly will not be necessary to re-read chapters 1-30, there will be some differences. I resolved not to change the plot of the events, but to correct grammatical errors and spelling errors as I found them, as well as add more supplemental information where appropriate. All chapters will be posted in multiple locations, links to come. If there is more to read (i.e. mature content, etc.), there will be direction to that alternate location.

The Long Way Home: Chapter 1

Ueno was accustomed to waking up in a variety of ways. When he had been up late, drinking with his friends and getting into crazy, college-student shenanigans fueled by the need to unwind, he rose cranky, tired or nauseous. If he had been a good boy and went to bed at a decent hour, he awoke energetic, chipper, and ready to change the world. Sometimes, depending on what occurred the day before, he woke up sweaty from a nightmare or confused from a puzzling dream. Being a college student working part-time, sometimes he forgot to eat and woke up hungry. On the weekends if he didn't have to work, he eased into wakefulness, stretching like a fat lazy cat and relishing the peaceful silence of his empty apartment.

Waking up with morning wood, however, was not on Ueno's list of various ways he'd previously faced his mornings. Meeting the day in that manner regularly was something new. While certainly not all that odd, rising while already risen certainly wasn't a frequent occurrence in his life.

Ueno felt no shame with a hard-on or two. They came, and then they went. He understood that they were a natural part of male existence. His father, part of the health-care world and well educated on the oddities of male anatomy, had talks with all of his boys early on. Ueno had learned early on of the proper ways to deal with them, whether it be concealing the rigidity of his above average- or so the few blessed to see it had said- manhood with his schoolbag or baggy clothing, taking a cold shower, envisioning those he found unattractive in the nude, or the tried and true - and also most pleasurable- method of manually finishing the job.

He even understood that his current situation didn't need to have a specific cause. Ueno knew that erections didn't necessarily manifest because of lascivious thoughts. One of his college buddies had even told him during a conversation colored with the tinge of beer that he got an erection daily, mere minutes before being let out of his literature course, and he had no idea as to why.

The only problem was, these days his erections certainly did have a cause. Of that he was positive. Ueno had been fighting off some lascivious thoughts and memories often enough.

Ueno had viewed the situation logically at first. Erections weren't that big a deal, right? If Ueno hadn't been dealing with them each morning for the last six days, he would have continued to consider them no big problem. Not being particularly into pleasuring himself excessively, he had found the task of resolving this issue to be bothersome after the first few releases.

Ueno attempted to always be that affable, laid back, go-with-the-flow kind of guy that he was world renowned for, and he could face virtually any situation with a minimum of drama and more than a few bursts of laughter. Originally, he had found his state slightly amusing; how could he not chuckle at waking up with a hard-on, given what he had just experienced days previous?

And so as long as he didn't pay attention to the caliber of that afternoon, the humor remained. Whenever he was weak and allowed himself to not only think about that encounter but actually experience it again, his heart didn't beat on a proper rhythm, and the resulting sensation of panic was difficult to reign in. He was working on a good fifty-fifty average of keeping his thoughts pure. Unfortunately, due to his increased failures, he was frustrated much more often than standard.

On the third morning, he hadn't been presented with the opportunity to resolve the issue on his own- it had taken care of itself before he had woken up for the day. Perhaps that's what had roused him. His sweatpants had soaked up the outcome, but he was aware of what had taken place.

The tingling, euphoric feeling had whirled with disorientation. When he'd shaken away the cobwebs that accumulated during his slumber and realized that the cool, wet sensation down there was indicative of a release, mild shock had taken hold. It had, very quickly, stopped being quite so amusing. He did not normally recall his dreams. He'd never cared before, but now he was forced to wonder what was taking place in his head while his body replenished its reserves each night.

The third day had marked Ueno's slight change in attitude, with mild irritation setting in. He had prayed this wasn't becoming a new habit. He didn't know if he could handle it every stinking morning indefinitely. Coming was great, as long as it happened when he wanted it to. As it was, the added chores of extra laundry and showers, along with a brief chapter of his life that he had thought was closed re-opening at an alarming rate left him bothered and bewildered.

It had been seven days. Seven days had gone by since his life had been turned upside down- once again. The first had been four days previous to the second. It was amazing, since Ueno had never been foolish enough to let most people have any impact on his life, at least not a large enough impact to alter his lifestyle or mindset. A shrug, an eloquent screw you, and the problem normally passed. The fact that he had let this occur was crazy in itself. Ueno had girlfriends before, and while he had enjoyed their company to a certain degree, he hadn't been one to get caught up in foolishness or dramatics. As a result, his life had always been relatively peaceful. He stayed away from trouble and his gentle, accepting nature had always turned minor issues into amusing memories.

That was why the origin of his current state remained beyond speculation. How had he gotten here? What was it about some slight, genetically perfect, incredibly mesmerizing young man that had his head so messed up?

Okay, so many the origin wasn't unknown- merely perplexing.

That incident had him operating on multiple wavelengths. If the book of his life before had been written in basic black, today his story was resumed in brightly colored ink. Eating food out of the microwave was something he often did, being a student living on his own, but now it was as if he was eating home cooked foods seasoned with fresh-from-the garden herbs instead of dried and packaged. Those four days following the most sensual, shocking experience of his life had been so very vivid. Then, after running into the man he had never dreamed he would see again seven days ago, every sense object that kissed his senses was almost painful. He relived the experience that he had only believed would be feasible in pointless internet porn almost daily. When he did so, his nerves felt electrically charged, the severed ends continuously fraying and leaving his limbs tingling uncontrollably.

Amazingly, one of the few times he was free from his crazy thoughts that involved that certain man was when he was in the presence of him. Ueno had been afraid that his morning situations would come back with a rigid vengeance during lunch period, but when he was around Aki, he noticed that baby Ueno stayed oddly flaccid. This was most likely due to the fact that he was always slightly on edge, which killed any pleasure and allowed no room for dirty thoughts to enter his mind- for too long.

The lack of arousal was reason enough to cause Ueno relief when he entered the school cafeteria each day. He wasn't quite ready to admit to any feelings towards Aki, hateful, romantic, platonic or otherwise, but if nothing else, he was granted peace when they were together-somewhat.

There was so much Ueno didn't know about the Aki. They had spent an afternoon immersed in each other as complete strangers, an experience that still reduced Ueno to a shivering mass in full recollection. Knowing nothing more than the other man's supposed name, he had allowed himself to lose complete control. Ueno had no negative view regarding casual sex, but he didn't place what happened to him in that same category. What had happened between the two of them was nothing short of amazing and mind-altering. Ueno couldn't identify it as right or wrong, but regardless of good or bad, the exchange had been life-changing.

Try as he might, he didn't think he would ever forget Aki's face, even if they never met again. Ueno was always able to picture the way Aki's eyes smoldered as they stared into his own, the slight parting of his perfect lips as he panted heavily with each thrust, the soft mewls that escaped Aki's throat as he clung to Ueno. He remembered vividly how Aki's pale skin seemed to almost gleam in the light of the living room, the curves and angles of the other man's body, and how he seemed to be all silk, stretched over taut muscle. It was obvious, even under the vintage jeans that Aki seemed to favor at school.

Each day they saw one another, Ueno noticed a physical attribute or quirk about Aki. Ueno hadn't clearly noticed the slight widow's peak that only showed when Aki was running his fingers through his hair, or just how thin and delicate those fingers were, with their neatly shaped, short nails. It struck Ueno how much more vivid his recollections became each time he saw Aki in person and allowed himself to remember that day along with their exchanges.

Along with the relief he felt, Ueno was granted the pleasure of spending a good thirty minutes daily with Aki. As Aki was a freshman, they shared no classes, so Ueno was only graced with his presence during their break periods, which happened to line up. Aki always sought him out, although Ueno didn't clearly understand why such a gorgeous guy with start potential would prefer to be with him. Aki was an exceptionally attractive man, who even in the most casual and understated clothing always appeared impeccably styled. A mysterious bouquet seemed to waft from him, though he didn't rude or anti-social. Those soft lips tipped in a serene smile and those bewitching eyes crinkling at the corners would draw anyone in. If Aki would allow it, he'd make friends fast and could spend time with anyone he chose.

It wasn't as if they had clicked fabulously or anything. Aki wasn't overly talkative. Often there was extended silence, but it wasn't necessarily awkward. Ueno figured that if Aki didn't want to see him and the conversation was bothersome, he wouldn't track him down every day. Because of that, the silence didn't faze him too badly, and in fear of scaring Aki off, Ueno didn't ask questions in excess. Ueno supposed he should be flattered that Aki spent time with him, but more often he felt confusion. He wasn't self-conscious in his own opinion, but he was realistic, and cliques did exist even at the college level. Ueno was well-liked by most of his peers on an individual basis, but he didn't automatically fit into every social circle. He just expected that he and Aki, seeming to be so dramatically different, wouldn't be drawn to each other in social settings. While he was peacefully chummy and spent adequate time with his friends, he was just as likely to go home and do his schoolwork or make a little side money through a part time job. As a result, he wasn't one of the most popular students, merely well-known and liked by most.

Shit.

Ueno grimaced as he tugged on a pair of socks. His thoughts had directed his focus to an issue that should have long since been remedied. He needed to start hitting the pavement in search of a new income source. He should have started the hunt over a week ago, but he hadn't had the proper motivation. Ueno had considered skipping his classes yesterday in order to do just that, but he hadn't wanted to miss running into Aki.

Right then, Ueno made himself a promise to resume his job search immediately after his lessons later that afternoon. He would then have all weekend to fill out his applications. He didn't necessarily need the money, but what he didn't need was to explain to his father why he wasn't working, nor all that extra time to think.

Ueno shuffled to his entryway, stepping into his sneakers and snagging his messenger bag before exiting. He locked the door behind him, and then began to descend the stairs. He had plenty of time to get to class, but having woken up early again, he didn't see the point in sitting around his apartment. After all, school was so much more interesting these days. He'd rather be there than at home, left slave in the clutch of his memories.

After he endured his first couple of classes, he'd get to spend a little time with Aki before finishing his day. After all, it was Friday, and he wouldn't have another chance to talk to him until Monday. He had resolved to start getting to know the other man better. If he had been a random stranger, getting to know each other might have been easier. In a sense, Aki was still quite the stranger, but after burying himself in the warmth of the other man's body, Ueno felt odd treating him like the average acquaintance. He didn't know the Aki's full name, his age, his interests, his program of study, nothing. What would make Aki laugh? Was he ticklish? What was his most embarrassing moment? Did he come from a large, crazy wonderful family like Ueno's own clan? He wanted to know the stuff people usually found out about their partner before they became intimate. Ueno supposed doing everything ass-backwards, as they had, would absolutely result in the type of unease he currently felt.

And then, his curiosity sometimes took an odd turn. As he recalled their afternoon, Ueno took note of something that he did or didn't do that day, and questions came. They were shameful. The questions brought out the flush in his cheeks, made his eyelid twitch, and made him want to cover his face even in the privacy of his apartment.

One fantasy that inspired questioning seized him in the middle of his science lab the day before. It seemed silly, but Ueno, in recollection, noted that he and Aki had only kissed once during their encounter. From there, he'd speculated that because they didn't' know each other, that fact wasn't really that strange. That speculation led to a questing thought: what would Aki have done if Ueno had initiated a more intimate, romantic meeting of their lips?

Should he have quickened his rhythm, or perhaps reduced the speed of his thrusts? What if Ueno had been gentler, more liberal with his fingers, more solicitous in his caresses? If they'd spoken, their coupling accompanied by quiet murmurs and whispers, would the experience have more intense? If Ueno had moved to that pale, satiny neck, alternating between swipes of his tongue and gentle sucking, what sound could he have solicited from his mysterious partner?

Ouch. He'd just used the word partner. As if they had something going. As if they spent any time together outside of the college campus, as if they had each other's phone numbers and were on pleasant, amicable ground.

Right now, Ueno couldn't call their relationship anything solid. They saw one another, but their conversation was bland, safe, and didn't assist them in establishing a comfort level.

He had refrained from asking questions previously, as to not make Aki uncomfortable, but they couldn't continue in this manner indefinitely. Ueno whistled as he walked quickly along his normal route to the college campus. He hoped for at least a couple of answers today. He had no idea what type of label the two of them would eventually fit into, but Ueno, who was typically patient, didn't want to wait too long to find out.

In addition, he had other questions to follow along after the basics, but he knew that they were in no way comfortable enough with each other for Ueno to voice his curiosity yet. Those questions would have to wait. They burned in Ueno's mind, the speculations on how Aki had ended up in that closet, what type of relationship he had with his master, and how Aki had felt after leaving. Ueno also couldn't help but wonder about the injuries Aki had incurred, and if he endured that type of treatment often.

God, who would treat someone so beautiful and so wonderf-

Ueno cut off his train of thought. What did he know? At this point, it was all pure speculation. He quickly sidestepped the subject.

Ueno couldn't wait to hang out with his final pet-sitting charge today, which freaked him out a little. Every emotion proved to be so rewarding, and at the same time unsettling. More than ever, he felt like he was coming closer to a serious upheaval of his very existence. One day one of them would say or do something to tip the scale. He felt that Aki would be the catalyst of this life altering event, whatever it was. Maybe throwing Aki into the mix would continue to agitate Ueno's life, which had been in a state of equilibrium for far too long. He almost chuckled at the chemistry related analogy. At least he'd remembered something from class. Ueno couldn't put his finger on it, but he felt that today would be different.

That anticipation remained all morning, making it almost impossible for Ueno to concentrate during any of his classes. He felt excitement, meshed with a slight feeling of dread. He couldn't quite explain either one, but didn't pay them much mind. Once he saw Aki, the man responsible for all of his stress, each of those emotions would flip to another anyway. But that was fine.

He felt like he was finally living, which perhaps made all of these emotions worth it.