Today I was sad so I wrote this in half an hour.
Lyrics are Nothing In This World Will Ever Break My Heart Again by Hayden Pannettiere which is an absolutely beautiful song. It's mostly not that relevant to this storyline but it feels like a good fit so we're gonna go with it.
Also this is my 50th story on ffn so hurrah I guess, have a spoonful of debilitating angst.
Cookies if you can find the super sneaky Thor reference I slipped in.
The atmosphere at the execution is almost physically painful. The disgust, hatred, and viciousness in the crowd is palpable. Mika's blood turns to ice –or maybe acid would be a better descriptor because his every nerve just hurts- the moment he steps into the Hall of Death. He's on Paris's left side as he always is. Arrow's on the right. The royal trio has elected to break tradition and leave the Hall of Princes empty during the execution; this is the biggest scandal in recent Vampire Mountain history.
This is no ceremony. There are no rites to be read. Just one simple deed to carry out, and this ugly matter will be behind them.
Kurda's already in the cage hanging 50 feet above the stakes. Mika glimpses the shine of golden hair in stark contrast to the gloomy cave walls but he can't bring himself to look at the prisoner. The condemned traitor. The general he used to love more than breathing. So like a noble prince does, Mika stares hard at the wall and keeps every thought, every emotion, every memory locked in the back of his mind where it belongs.
The clan needs him to be strong right now. But there are some instincts you can't fight and with both hands grasping the thick frayed rope, he looks. Kurda's on his back, tied up so he can barely move but everyone can see he's trembling. He thanks the vampire gods that the once-golden general's eyes are covered.
He's a traitor and he's getting what he deserves.
Mika lets go of the rope. One second of ringing silence, then the screaming starts.
He lied to you and he's getting what he deserves.
He's hauled back up and dropped twice more, by Paris and then Arrow.
He was going to kill you and he's getting what he deserves.
The rope is passed back to Mika. He looks again and he wishes he hadn't. The blindfold has come off and Kurda's azure eyes are fixed onto him. Like the moon in the twilight sky they contrast sharply with the blood on his face. He's stopped screaming but is clearly conscious, staring at Mika looking almost peaceful. It's gut-wrenchingly surreal.
The disgraced general's lips move weakly, he tries to speak. He can't.
"I know." The dark prince whispers. No one hears him but Kurda has always been able to read his mind so it doesn't really matter. Once more Mika releases the rope.
There's one weak, strangled cry from the bottom of the pit, and finally merciful nothing. A great cheer goes up from the gathering of vampires. Mika sweeps out of the room before they've even drawn breath. He walks. He has no destination in mind but he finds himself in a secluded cavern near the Hall of Oceen Pird. And he cries.
Arrow finds him after that, when he's kneeling and staring into the fireplace with every tear drained and no emotion left in his body.
"It's not wise to be near me right now." Mika enunciates, surprised at how steady his voice sounds.
"I'm not known for my wisdom." Arrow replies, unfazed. The tattooed prince slowly sits down beside his ravenlike comrade.
For an age, neither speaks. They stare into the flames, deep in thought. Mika knows only 3 vampires in the world who can come close to reading his mind. One is the young woman he once mentored, who fell in battle yesterday. One is the man he just executed. And the last one is sitting on his left side.
"You love the clan more than you loved him." Arrow speaks eventually.
"How did you know I loved him?" Mika hisses sharply. As far as he knew what he'd shared with Kurda had been a his deepest and most favourite secret.
"I don't know how I knew, I just knew." Arrow shrugs redundantly, to Mika's annoyance; he would've appreciated a more concrete reasoning. "You looked at him… differently."
Mika curses.
"Don't worry, no one else knew. Even if they did, no one would've dared to speak ill of it." Arrow continues with forced casuality. Mika supposes that's true enough. Not that it matters now. He hums a non-committal response and falls silent again.
Minutes pass and he feels unbidden tears burning his eyes again. He presses his palms against them, willing them to go back where they came from. They abjectly refuse.
Arrow rests a wide hand on his friend's trembling shoulder. The sobs are silent this time. For that much, Mika is grateful. He allows the tears to run their course while Arrow's palm makes slow, calming circles on his back. When all is still again, he turns to face his friend.
"Did I do the right thing?" his voice isn't strong anymore. It's a desperate croaking sound, and he resents it. He feels like a pitiful, petulant child.
"You couldn't have handled it any differently." Arrow replies after a moment of reflection. "You set your feelings aside and acted in the best interests of the clan. Your honour is commendable."
"But I wanted him dead, once we found out his plan. After I got invested and he started dealing with the Vampaneze, it had never been quite good between us after that, but I never hated him until yesterday. Until I had to let go of the rope." Mika explains dully.
Arrow exhales slowly. Mika knows his brother; he sees the world in black and white; Vampaneze killed Sarah. Vampaneze are evil. Kurda lied and plotted and manipulated to the service of the Vampaneze. In Arrow's world, Kurda is evil. But Mika isn't Arrow, and Arrow understands that. In this moment Mika understands that Arrow understands, and that's enough.
Arrow wraps his arm around Mika's shoulder with great care and no small amount of awkwardness. Mika smiles grimly, taking some small modicum of comfort in his best friend's earnest compassion, and the unshakeable knowledge that nothing in this world would ever break his heart again.
I finally kept my pride and hailed a cab
Those cuttin' words you said were the last stab
There'll be no tears this time, they're all dried up
No more sweet poison, I already drank that cup
This tunnel's dark, but there's a little light glowing
Bright enough for me to run toward knowing
Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again
Nothing in this world will ever break my heart again
No pain this life will put me through will ever ever hurt like you
Remember when Mika/Kurda was my notp? Well, take away the N and you have my current obsession. Things change. A lot.
If any of the old crew is reading this, I hope you're all doing really good and I miss you lots.
Until next time,
rxx