War… war never changes…
But video games? Video games always change.
"OH EMM EFF GEE" exclaimed a nerd, who we shall call Fallout Boy. (Get it? Fallout Boy? Ha ha, yeah up yours too.) "I can't believe Fallout 3 was made by somebody other than Black Isle Studio! It sucks ass, because its, like, a first person shooter Oblivion thingy! Everything changed for the worst and the main quest sucks monkey butt!"
Fallout Boy was so mad, he decided to destroy Bethesda Softworks! He grabbed his supplies, hopped on horse-sized Dogmeat, and headed off to their headquarters. How does he know where to find their headquarters, you ask? Why he has the Know-where-everything-is perk, duh!
His journey lead the boy to Bethesda Ruins, which ironically is in Fallout 3. Eager to put his Bloody Mess perk to use, Fallout Boy charged inside. What he didn't expect was to find the place infested with UNDEAD SUPER MUTANT CYBORG NINJAS!
"Damn it, this computer is so freaking slow" muttered one U.S.N.C.N. "Carl, did you torrent a pirated game again?"
"I can't help it" sobbed the one named Carl. "The economy is terrible and I can't afford a fifty dollar game!"
Fallout Boy grew tired of this and tossed a grenade. One explosion later and all the monsters were splattered everywhere. Amongst the guts and gore was something our so-called hero never expected; the original Fallout 3 made by Black Isle Studios!
"Huzzah!" cheered Fallout Boy. "I shall spread this miracle to the internet at once!" And so he did.
It didn't take long for people to comment this true Fallout 3...
"Birds eye view? That is so outdated."
"What is point of killing people if there isn't rag doll physics?"
"NOES I CAN'T MOD DA BOOBIES :("
Fallout Boy was appalled by this ridiculous reviews. "WHAT?! You noobs would dare to call such as a classic rubbish? Where are all the other true Fallout fans?"
His giant Dogmeat replied in a rather intellectual tone, "well its obvious all the other fans are either dead or have moved on with their lives. Nevertheless, there can never be a truly perfect RPG because everybody has their own tastes." The canine then sipped a cup of tea.
Ignoring his companion's words, Fallout 3 decided to take care of this criticism the bad karma way. And so, our protagonist mowed everybody down with a minigun. His rampage went on for five minutes until Liberty Prime came over and zapped the runt into a pile of nerd dust.
END