AN: Yes, the tide of tests has finally subsided! In the midst of complaining about our teachers, XxKimi-chanxX and I came up with this totally random idea. Takes place at some point in Eclipse. Dr. Kimi is, well, obviously Kimi-chan, and here's what we've always wanted to say to Bella.
"I just don't know what I should do," Bella wept, looking up at her therapist.
"Well, Miss Spawn-"
"It's Swan."
"Whatever. Anyway, I've been reviewing your case, and it seems very clear what your problem is," the therapist, Dr. Kimi said, pushing her fake glasses up her nose.
"Really?"
"Yes. You're a Mary-Sue."
"What?" Bella exclaimed, eyes wide.
"A Mary-Sue. You've spent this last hour blubbering about how you don't know which guy to choose, and how you don't want to hurt either one, and believe me, it's really boring to listen to. You want to know what I think? I'll tell you- both of them are hot, so just have a threesome and GET OVER YOURSELF."
AN: I wonder how much I'll get flamed or flagged for this. Meh. See if I care.