Muggle Studies
~Chapter 1 – The Project~
"Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes." ~ Oscar Wilde
Brenna quietly sat flipping through WM (Witches Magazine) on the Hogwarts Express, the scarlet steam engine that delivered her to school at the start of every year. Though this issue of the magazine held little interest for her, as she's already perused it twice and there were only so many ways one could wear a robe stylishly, she continued to flip through it, waiting for the arrival of her three favorite friends. After what seemed a considerably long time (she was looking at hairstyle suggestions for the third time!), Arabella Figg, Erica Parker, and Lily Evens finally walked into the compartment.
The four girls were an excessively popular group. Though Lily, always trying to see the good in everyone, insisted it was because they were both smart and kind, Brenna secretly suspected it was, not to be conceited, because they were all very pretty. Though Lily was short and Arabella tall, all four were thin, stylish, and very pretty indeed. Erica and Brenna however, seemed to be the only two aware of this fact, a point that never ceased to amuse Erica, as Arabella, with her long black hair and bright blue eyes, was clearly the most stunning girl at school, and the most sought after, no contest.
Brenna smiled in amusement at her friends rolling on the ground with laughter, brushing her honey curls back from her face. "Where have you been?" she asked her laughing friends, though she suspected she knew the one thing that could make them all so helpless with laughter. After they finally calmed down, Arabella answered, between fits of muffled giggles, "Merlin Brenna, don't be such a spoil sport. We ran into the infamous marauders, and you know, it's been so long since we've seen them, we wanted to give them a proper greeting. Well Erica here had the brilliant-"
"Thank you, AJ."
"My pleasure. As I was saying, Erica had the brilliant idea to play an innocent prank. Any ways you get the idea; especially if Erica had the idea."
"I swear to Merlin, you're practically as bad as them." Brenna rolled her eyes. "Lily, what did they do?"
Lily pulled herself off the carpeted floor, finally having overcome her laughter. Pushing her long red hair out of her face carelessly, she fixed her eyes on Brenna, grinning. Brenna looked into the green depths, awaiting Lily's response eagerly, as Arabella and Erica were still laughing hopelessly on the floor. "Well," Lily began, barely containing further waves of laughter, "as we were innocently strolling through the cars – looking for you, I might add – we ran into our favorite group of flaming imbeciles. It only seemed appropriate to welcome them back. So, flirt that she is, AJ started to hit on them-"
Arabella huffed. "Not of my own accord. I was forced too!"
"– which," Lily continued, ignoring Arabella's embarrassed outburst, "worked quite well because even guys who despise her, find our dear AJ rather enchanting." Arabella pulled a face at her best friend – she was stubbornly disinclined to agree that she held such sway. "So, Erica and I came up behind them and performed the Schwul Curse." At Brenna's questioning look, she clarified, "you know; the gay curse. Remember? It's of German origin, and reached its height of popularity in 1957. Flitwick mentioned it in –"
"She's lecturing again! She's lecturing again and we're not even at Hogwarts yet. AJ, make her sto-op." Erica whined.
"Hey brainiac," Arabella said, "less with the asides, more with the recap."
Lily rolled her eyes.
"That's it?" Brenna asked, ignoring the interruption and eyeing her friends with suspicion.
"Well, not quite," Erica said, picking up the narrative. "You know the bitches from 5th year, the sluts in Hufflepuff? The one that said AJ was – "
"Hey!" Arabella interjected, "we said we weren't going to mention that ever again. It was a horrible set of weeks." Lily patted her arm, but Erica just rolled her eyes.
"Fine. Anyways, they were eyeing the marauders with such lustful intentions it would have been immoral to let such rampant desire burn uncontained." Here, Brenna snorted – Erica was not particularly known for containing her desires, and had once even made out with Sirius Black in their fourth year.
"Ahem," Erica sounded annoyed, but actually looked perfectly amused. "I know that none of us would have found it embarrassing, self-assured chicks that we are – and by that I mean ludicrously hot – but with a 6'3" ego to match your height you shrink. Or rather, it shrinks. And you know how guys are touchy about physical contact." Erica finished finally. Realizing how that incident must have affected the poor boys, Brenna doubled over with laughter and joined her friends on the floor.
Their joy, however, was interrupted.
"Excuse me, ladies. Due to the influx of bright young wizard-types –"
"– ickle firsties running amok, the pitter patter of youthful feet–"
"– full of hope, and wonder, and the promise of bright futures–"
"–yet aware of the McGonagall ire –"
"–we were unable to find another compartment–"
"–it's amazing, the affects of overpopulation, isn't it?"
"–luckily, we remembered that you four are all good Samaritans–"
"– nay, great –"
"–and knew you provide us shelter from the midget horde."
The Marauders had arrived.
James Potter, the unchallenged leader of the small group, sauntered into the compartment, followed by two of his friends, and sat down causally next to Lily, wrapping his arm around her shoulder happily. James was a very handsome boy, with raven hair and brown eyes, and also very popular. It was therefore a source of constant gossip and speculation that Lily Evans refused to date him, despite his desired status and persistence in asking her out at least once a fortnight. This year started no differently. "Would you like to go out with me, Evans?" He asked her, grinning his most charming of grins.
"Sod off, Potter." Lily replied, removing his arm from around her shoulders and folding her own across her chest angrily.
Across the compartment, Remus Lupin chuckled quietly and Peter Pettigrew, in admiration, imitated him. Remus was the most pleasant member of the group (though, as Arabella often said, that was not really saying a lot) and actually got on with the girls well enough when his mates were out of the picture (rarely). With his sandy blonde hair and amber eyes, he was simultaneously handsome and shy, a trait that most girls found exceptionally endearing and classified as 'thoughtful'.
Sirius Black, the last marauder (and, according to Arabella "the biggest bleeding git in the history of bleeding gits"), did not take a seat but remained leaning casually against the doorjamb. He, equally casually, swept his long, wavy black hair, hair that always, miraculously, fell perfectly around his face, out of his grey eyes and winked. At 6'4'', Sirius was a good nine inches taller than Arabella, but this never seemed to deter her temper. Since their first year, the mere sight of Sirius Black was curiously capable of throwing Arabella into a fit of rage. "Leaving then, are you Black?" Arabella asked hopefully, though not quite managing to keep her great annoyance out of her voice – clues like spitting out his name as if it were poison and balling her hands into fists always seemed to give her true feelings away.
"Now, now, ma Belle we mustn't act that way in public." Sirius answered mockingly, "people might get the wrong idea about us."
"Quit staring at AJ, Peter." Erica said suddenly. "She's out of your league anyhow." Peter Pettigrew turned slightly red and shrank away from Arabella, who looked equally embarrassed. Peter Pettigrew always seemed like the afterthought of the group, for though he did seem to be exceptionally loyal to the other three, he wasn't nearly as tall nor as handsome, and he lacked their flare.
"Wormtail can have whomever he pleases." Sirius said, jumping to his friend's defense as usual. He turned his grin cheekily to Arabella and looked her up and down. "Besides, there's no harm in looking."
Keen to stay out of the ongoing feud between the groups, Remus pulled open a book and buried his nose in it. Lily glared at him enviously, as she dearly loved to read and dearly hated being drawn into verbal sparring matches with Potter, whose arm was creeping around her shoulders once again. Unable to follow Remus's lead, Lily set out to diffuse the very loud row looming in the very near future. "Oh," she sneered, before Arabella could reply to Sirius's goading remark, "you still have those cute little nicknames for each other I see. No doubt it conceals some very dark secret."
Pretending to be ignorant of Lily's sarcasm, and undoubtedly elated with the opportunity to have the semblance of a civil conversation with the girl of his dreams, James nodded his head solemnly, as if imparting some great secret. "Very dark indeed. So dark, in fact, that we nearly decided not to use them in public."
"I suppose it is unfortunate then that your bravado overrode your prudence, as per usual." Arabella replied, eyes narrowed.
"Well," Sirius began in a serious tone, "they are, at least, more appropriate than the ones we have for you lot. First," he nodded in Lily's direction, "there's Stuck Up Bitch-"
Arabella bounded to her feet, "Sod off, you tosser!"
Sirius was on his feet as well. "Oh, aren't we original, ma Belle? Would you like to hear yours?"
"How dare you impose yourselves upon us, insult my friends, and utterly –"
"We were not the ones who opened hostilities this year. It –"
"You're not the ones? I believe it's you lot who's been torturing us since our first day here. Or have you forgotten that?"
As the argument progressed, Remus sunk lower in his chair, Lily buried her face in her hands, and even James looked guilty, continually shooting glances at Lily out of the corner of his eye. With a bored expression, Brenna grabbed her magazine off the floor and prepared herself for the worst train ride ever to commence the school year.
Arabella led her group quickly through the thinning crowd, still buttoning her billowing black school robes. The 'damn marauders' had slowed them down significantly, considering they wouldn't leave when the four wanted to change, only smiling broadly in response to the girls' request, as if inviting a strip show. She stomped to her seat and threw herself down, just in time. Professor McGonagall stepped in carrying a stool and an old torn hat. The hat cleared its voice, and then began to sing, much to the shock of the new students and the entertainment for the rest of the hall.
Welcome all you boys and girls,
It's that time of year.
When young ones come into our lives,
With their records clear.
It might have been her imagination, but Lily could have sworn that the sorting hat glanced slightly in the direction of the Marauders and then, to her extreme embarrassment, at the four girls who had accompanied them on the train ride. As the two groups had already started bickering on their very first train ride to the school, it was doubtful if their records had ever been clear. Perhaps this is why she had not been appointed Head Girl for their final year.
There are four houses in this school,
In which New Years are sorted.
They each contain good qualities,
Which are about to be reported.
Gryffindor is for the brave,
And those with Chivalry.
This is really a great house,
And it might be yours to be!
Hufflepuff is also great,
For those both shy and kind,
If you're lucky you will make,
This house and lucky find.
Dear Ravenclaw is also fine,
If you are smart and clever.
It would be a perfect place,
For those that deter never.
The last house I'm to mention,
Is for those both sly and cunning.
If you join dear Slytherin,
You'll always hit the ground running.
Out of four you must choose one,
So somehow make your pick.
You must choose very carefully,
But you have to do it quick!
The Great Hall burst into a booming applause when the song ended. The hat smiled slightly and bowed (as well as a hat can bow) to each of the house tables. Then The Deputy Head Mistress cleared her throat and began to read, "Avery, Eileen." A small girl with smooth brown hair and shiny brown eyes walked up to the hat as McGonagall lifted it up. It took a few short seconds before the hat shouted "Hufflepuff!" The little girl went running over to the Hufflepuff table and hugged her brother Derek. Then Arabella tuned out the sorting process and started talking to Lily, Erica, and Brenna.
"Lils, before we were interrupted, didn't you say something about Dumbledore's seventh year project?" Erica asked her friend while twirling a few strands of her shiny black hair with her forefinger.
"No, she didn't." Brenna answered promptly.
"Yes, she did. This was before we found you. Or them." Erica replied.
"If you know I said something, why did you ask?" countered Lily good-humouredly.
"I was simply trying to bring it up."
"And why am I always left out of these talks?" Brenna continued, ignoring Erica's reply.
"Because you always find the seats first and then we have to search for you for practically the entire train ride." Arabella replied, joining the conversation. "You clearly hate us and are secretly trying to avoid our company."
"Alas! The truth is out," Brenna replied with great dramatic flair.
"Do you want to know what I said?" Lily asked.
"Yes." Brenna and Erica answered together.
"All right then. You remember Stephan, the foreign exchange student?" Lily asked all three of them.
Her friends stared at her with arched brows. "You mean the one who was completely obsessed with you and followed you everywhere?" Arabella asked sweetly. "That foreign exchange student?"
"Okay, so you do remember," Lily continued, blushing, "Well, he went back to Beabaxtons Academy." Lily saw the look on her friends' faces and continued quickly, "Of course, I still talk to him – he swears he's not obsessed with me anymore. Anyways," She said, dismissing the questioning looks that her friends were continuing to give her, "that's completely off topic. He saw Dumbledore and Madame Maxime walking down the hallway talking. After having AJ's influence for an entire year–"
"Hey!" Arabella objected, "Erica corrupted me!" the girls started laughing at Arabella's outburst. After a moment of mock hurt, Arabella laughed as well.
"Is there a problems, girls?" They heard Professor McGonagall's voice cut across the hall. They stopped laughing immediately and put on their most sincere faces.
"No ma'am." Arabella answered meekly.
"We were just saying how promising the first years look." Brenna supplied.
"And why were you laughing?" Sirius asked, imitating McGonagall's stern voice.
"Mr. Black, please –" The professor started to say, but was interrupted by Arabella. With her eyes narrowed at Sirius she said, sweetly, "We were wondering what happened to the all the Gryffindor boys in our year." The hall was silent for a moment. Then a few people started to chuckle, despite McGonagall's furious look. Then more people started to giggle till the Great Hall was booming with laughter. Even the nervous first years smiled and some even laughed quietly, though unsure of the punch line. She wasn't entirely sure, but Lily swore that even the Headmaster smiled slightly. When the mirth died down everything resumed.
"So," Lily started again, in a lower voice, "Stephen followed them and heard a bit of what they said. She said that Madame Maxine asked what Dumbledore was doing here. He couldn't really hear because he had to lag behind, but what he heard was, 'Hogwarts is having a project just for the seventh years…new version of Muggle Studies…Would you be interested?' That's all he heard, but I think it's interesting to wonder about."
"That's because you think too much." Erica replied, grinning.
"So that's your reasoning behind the fact that you didn't become Head Girl." Arabella teased lightly, grinning at her friend.
"Well, it's the only explanation for it!" Lily replied.
Erica was about to interject when Dumbledore stood up. "Hello, all students. Welcome to Hogwarts, all those new and returning. I have an announcement before we feast. The School Board has decided that this year the Seventh Year students are to have a final project that will last nearly all year. You have passed your entire wizarding training by now, but so many like the important ability of living alongside muggles. You need to not be conspicuous in their society, and at these perilous times it is a skill that has never been more important. We have leased four houses for your use, corresponding to each house here. Slytherins in one, Hufflepuffs in another and so on and so forth. Girls' dormitories…er, bedrooms…will be on one side and boys' on the other."
"You will find in your kitchen the muggles you must get close to and study, as you are to complete a report by the end of the year. You have a full wardrobe. The clothes are magically enhanced and will change into anything you personally think of except wizard robes. No magic." As Dumbledore said this he accioed all of the seventh years' wands, who looked towards the head table in shock as their wands flew from their pockets. Then he continued, "You will receive periodic updates from either myself or your heads of house Now if you will grab your dinner plates you will go to your residence for the school year. Good Luck!"
With a sudden blue light, the seventh years vanished, leaving the first years to gasp at the extraordinary power of magic.
I just want to make a note on the Arabella Figg that appears in this story. I was going to make this a surprise type of thing in another later chapter, but I decided not to. Because everyone is bugging me about how she is a squib, I just want to clarify. This Arabella Figg is the daughter of the squib Arabella Figg and Mad-Eye Moody. Hope that clarifies things.
Thank you for reading!