"It's all too troublesome." Shikamaru told his mirror flatly. "I give up."
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(Two Weeks Ago)
"I'm sorry Shikamaru. We did everything we could but…" Tsunade sighed and let her gaze escape from Shikamaru's eyes it was too painful to see him. "We couldn't save them, I'm sorry."
Shikamaru froze he couldn't believe it, here he was lying in his hospital bed suffering, trying to heal from his wounds but as Tsunade spoke those words he suffered a painful blow, worse then all his injuries, right to his heart. But now Tsunade had stopped speaking and she couldn't say a word so the only sound to accompany him was his heart beat.
"They're gone. They're gone." Shikamaru repeated the words but the more he said them the less he believed them. "They can't be gone. Can they?"
When he looked up at her his eyes were that of a broken puppy dog, Tsunade couldn't stand to see him like this. "I'm sorry but we've lost them." Tsunade said one last time before she exited the room and left Shikamaru alone, to stare at the ceiling.
"They're gone. Ino, Chouji, Asuma all gone. They're dead. They died. I can't believe it they died." The more he talked the more his heartbeat softened until he fell asleep in shock, to the quiet faded rhythm.
Outside Shikamaru's room Tsunade took a breath behind the door to calm herself, but it wasn't working. She had just told someone that his two closest friends and his sensei had died. She couldn't imagine what Shikamaru was feeling, she had lost people before but… not like this it was too much.
"Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura appeared in front of her sensei, working as a nurse in the Konoha hospital she had heard the news herself and she had been there to hear Chouji's last breathe and Ino's last heartbeat. Ino was a close friend of hers but she was more worried about Shikamaru's loss than her own. "Is he ok?" She asked her eyes nervous, sad only looking at her feet, much less Tsunade's face. She hugged her clipboard to her chest while she waited for Tsunade's answer.
Tsunade shook her head, "He isn't, and I wouldn't expect him to be anytime soon." She couldn't manage eye contact either.
"I can't imagine how he must feel." Sakura admitted almost feeling guilty that she couldn't relate to Shikamaru. "I can't imagine losing Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi. I bet he couldn't imagine losing his friends either."
"That's the hardest part. Not being able to believe it but at the same time you know it's true." Tsunade knew what it was like not to be able to believe that someone was gone, but all the time she spent in false hope she also knew they would never come back. She didn't want that to happen to Shikamaru.
Sakura didn't know how to respond so the silence was left hanging in the air. Tsunade forced a tiny, sad smile as she put her hand on Sakura's shoulder to comfort her. "It's okay, Sakura you are hurting too. Go home and rest we'll check on him in the morning."
Sakura nodded.
The Next Day-
"Shikamaru?" Sakura entered the hospital room to see Shikamaru frozen, lying motionless on his bed. The machine he was hooked up to told her that he was still alive, and breathing but his eyes looked grey and dead.
"Shikamaru?" Sakura asked again trying to get his attention. She knew to be patient with him so she waited as his eyes slowly turned with his head towards her. "How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Gone." Shikamaru said simply all emotions except shock seemed to have melted off his face. Sakura felt uncomfortable meeting his eyes, he was looking right at her but he didn't seem to be looking anywhere. "They're gone." Shikamaru spoke again.
Sakura looked down at the floor, she mouthed the words, "I'm sorry." but her voice felt too weak to actually say them. Once she thought the silence was going on too long she looked back up and met with one of the most pitiful sites she had ever seen. Bright light from the morning sun was spilling through the window, in contrast to Shikamaru's pale skin, and grey eyes, pain was written all over him; the sun seemed to emphasizing his sadness.
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Things continued on the same for days and days. Sakura was the nurse assigned to Shikamaru's room. So every morning she would find him half-dead, repeating the words that he wanted more than anything not to be true. His physical injuries were healing very well, but it seemed like he would never heal from his emotional ones.
Sakura never said much to him; she never knew quite what to say. But after a week and a half, Tsunade could tell that Sakura couldn't stand to see Shikamaru like that anymore so she sent Sakura on a mission.
Shikamaru was in deep pain and mourning but he could tell the first day that Sakura wasn't there to treat him. "Where's Sakura?" He asked the nurse who replaced her, but they didn't answer.
A few days later Shikamaru was released from the hospital. He walked to his house alone, a cloud of gloom and sorrow weighing heavy on his shoulders.
Once he reached his house he was more than happy to close his door on the sun, because its light still seemed to be mocking his sadness. Shikamaru collapsed on his couch emotionally exhausted. He looked to the mirror on the wall and took in his own pathetic sight. "It's all too troublesome." He told the mirror flatly, "I give up."
For the next two weeks Shikamaru never left his house, he barely did anything. He only got up from the couch to eat, even though he hardly ate anything. He had given up.
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When Sakura came back from her mission the first thing she did was go to check on Shikamaru. She knocked on his front door for a while but didn't get a single answer so she assumed he wasn't home, but when she asked around Konoha no one had seen him so it was the only place he could be.
So she went back to his house and turned the door knob to find that it wasn't locked. "Shikamaru?" Sakura entered his home slowly looking around. That's when she saw him, lying on his couch motionless. He still seemed dead but at the same time he was slowly blinking. He was much skinner as if he hadn't eaten in days and as if he hadn't bathed or changed his clothes in weeks.
"Shikamaru!" Sakura walked over to his side. He didn't move but his eyes seemed to recognize that she was there.
"Shikamaru what happened to you?"
No answer.
"Are you all right?"
Still no answer.
"Shikamaru…" Sakura eyes softened with pity. "Shikamaru please answer me. Are you all right?"
Shikamaru finally turned his head towards her and Sakura got a better look at his face, pale, sickly. He was white as a ghost. "Gave up." Shikamaru said when he finally spoke. "I gave up."
Sakura didn't understand what he meant. "What do you mean you gave up?" no answer. "Shikamaru…"
"It's too troublesome. It's all too troublesome. I gave up." Shikamaru admitted flatly.
Sakura almost wanted to cry because he knew what he meant she only needed to look at him. He had given up…on life.She didn't know what else to say so she slowly got up and left closing the door behind her.
Things went on like that for days that turned into weeks. Sakura would visit Shikamaru everyday, he may have given up but she wasn't going to give up on him. She had to force feed him because he wouldn't eat, she was doing her best to relate to, and be patient with him but every day she tried to give him a pep talk to convince him to try again with life. She knew that he had lost a big part of his life but that was no reason to give up yet he never seemed to hear her.
She brought Naruto and Kiba with her to Shikamaru's house every few days to put him in new clothes and force him to take a shower. They were a little rough with him when it came to trying to convince him to try again but he still wouldn't listen to them either.
It had taken about a month but Sakura finally couldn't take it anymore. When she was trying to make him eat she burst into tears.
"Why're you crying?" Shikamaru asked her.
Sakura looked at him with a mix of sadness, pity, and anger all together. "Why do you think I'm crying?" she answered him. It was a rhetorical question so Sakura continued before he had time to answer. "I'm crying for you! Because you won't cry!"
Shikamaru's eyes expanded a degree in shock, the first emotion he had shown in a long while.
Sakura still continued there was a lot more she needed to say to him. "You won't cry for them! You won't accept it! Chouji, Ino, and Asuma are gone!"
Sakura's words continued to shock Shikamaru. He finally got off of the couch and sat down on the carpet in front of Sakura, meeting her eye to eye.
Sakura's tears kept falling as she looked at Shikamaru's face, she could see emotion but she couldn't tell what it was. "I know you're hurting. You're not the only one hurting! They were my friends too!" Sakura's voice started getting louder with her frustration because she wanted to get through to him. "But this isn't what they would have wanted! They may be gone but you're still here! And if they were here they wouldn't want you to give up! They would want you to live for them because they can't!" Sakura's voice softened down again. "Just don't give up. They may be gone but not everyone and everything is gone."
Sakura dropped her head, to take a quiet moment to cry before she brought her head back up to say one last thing. "I'm your friend and I'm still here."
Sakura was emotionally exhausted. She passed out and let her head fall on Shikamaru's shoulder.
Shikamaru was in complete shock but the worst part was that he knew that she was right. He fully accepted how stupid he had been when his vision started to blur and his cheeks became wet. He hugged Sakura to himself and buried his head in Sakura's shoulder as he finally cried for his lost friends as he should have done so long ago.
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Shikamaru recovered immediately recovered after that day. He had returned, he was no longer giving up; he was living for those he loved who couldn't themselves.
It was still hard for him to accept they were gone, it was supposed to be a simple mission but things went gone, they were betrayed. They barely made it back to Konoha alive but it didn't take very long before Shikamaru was the only one left from his team.
He visited their graves quite often, but it was much easier to visit them with Sakura by his side as she now always was. Shikamaru smiled a lot more when Sakura's hand was in his.
He hardly ever said troublesome anymore because with Sakura around he never had a reason to.
From his Suffering, she brought him Hope
From their Weak moments they found Strength
Two Broken Souls, one Heart
From their Pain they found Love
And Love isn't Troublesome.
A/N: I know that I should have updated one of my other stories instead of writing this but I've had this idea for a long time and I finally got the inspiration to write it so I did.
Whatcha think? Were the dramatic scenes good? Because I'm usually not very good at writing them, so this gave me good practice for my other stories. I'm pretty happy with how this came out some parts I think I could have done better with, but overall I like it and I hope you enjoyed reading it : )
Please Review! Constructive criticism is accepted but no flaming!
