It had started on a Saturday in early September, her second year at Panem State. It had been as hot as hell outside despite the time of year, and while the frat house she'd been in had decent A/C, you wouldn't have thought so - masses of sweaty bodies writhing on the makeshift dance floor and people yelling at each other to drink warm beer from red plastic cups made it so that it was just as hot inside as it was outside.
Katniss Everdeen had hated it.
She hated house parties at the best of times - the sleazy guys, the shitty music, the stupid drinking games. She'd only agreed to go because Madge, her roommate, had been crushing on some guy who was going to be there, and had been nervous about going on her own.
The nervousness which, of course, had dissipated the moment Madge had latched eyes - and lips - onto Gale Hawthorne in the kitchen.
So instead of playing the supportive friend, she'd been stuck in a corner of the front room, surrounded by perfect blondes, guys with muscles bigger than her head, and the obligatory nerd who was trying to be cool and failing miserably.
Oh, and with some guy called Marvel who had been trying to explain to her that his real name was Logan Stark, and Marvel was just a nickname. She hadn't really cared. All she'd been able to think about had been the fact that he had awful BO.
And she'd offered up a simple prayer of 'Save me. Anyone.'
"Hey Katniss!"
It had been like music to her ears - a familiar voice, one who liked to curse at video games in their common room and of which there was zero chance the owner was trying to hit on her.
"Hi Peeta," she'd grinned over Marvel's shoulder in greeting.
"I've been looking for you," he'd told her, "I wanted to show you something outside."
She'd raised an eyebrow at him, only to have him raise one in a mirror image to her. Then he'd slid his eyes across to Marvel, and rolled them.
Ohhhhhhh. Of course.
"Ah, sure," she'd agreed, then had smiled the fakest apologetic smile she'd possibly ever mustered. "Sorry Mar-I mean Logan. I have to go outside with Peeta."
"Whatever," he'd muttered, glaring at Peeta before storming off. The minute he'd been out of earshot, they'd both started chuckling.
"Thanks for that," Katniss had told him, and had gestured around her. "Somehow I got wedged in here and I felt like I'd need some Indiana Jones manoeuvres to get out of here without a bit of help."
"Well you did look a little like a wild animal being captured against her will," Peeta had agreed, then wrinkled his nose, held out his hand to her. "Seriously, though, do you want to go outside? It smells like shit in here."
"Sure," she'd agreed; she'd taken his hand and followed him out to the backyard into air that had blessedly, finally, started to cool down.
That was the first night Peeta saved her from a dud hit-up. Two weeks later, she'd returned the favour, interrupting him mid conversation at the local coffee house while a blonde in the shortest running shorts she'd ever seen trailed a red fingernail up his arm, and Peeta had looked like he'd been sucking on a lemon while he gently tried to shrug her hand off. And over the next six months, on the few occasions they saw the other being hit on, obviously not enjoying it and the person hitting on them completely oblivious to their disinterest, there had been an unspoken agreement to help the other out.
Another week later, and an official agreement had been reached - no paperwork, just a simple shaking of hands, with one stipulation; that the only time the agreement wasn't in effect was if one of them was dating someone, so as to avoid awkward conversations and explanations.
That stipulation hadn't bothered Katniss at all. She'd reminded Peeta that she'd already explained to him at the start of freshman year- when Adrian Gloss had asked her out and she'd turned him down - that she wasn't looking for dates, let alone relationships, while she was at Panem U anyway.
Throughout their final two years of college, and even after they graduated, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark were each others beard, their saviour in case of unwelcome advances or a bad dating emergency. And it had worked perfectly.
Until.
2014
"Kat, you need to get out more," Prim, Katniss' younger sister, ordered over the phone. There was a rustle down the line, and Katniss knew from experience that it meant Prim had wedged the receiver between her neck and shoulder, and had reached for whatever nail polish was the colour of the moment.
"Why?" Katniss sighed. "My aim isn't to get dates, Prim - it's to work."
"Yeah, work yourself into oblivion."
"I don't," Katniss argued. "I just take my job seriously."
"Yeah, too seriously," Prim countered, and clucked her tongue. "Come on, Kat. I love you, but for once I would love it if you called and had a story about how you kissed a guy in a club, or how you and Madge stayed out all night until the sun rose and-"
"Madge already does that," Katniss interjected.
"And you don't," Prim countered. "Just...come on. You're only 23 once, alright? Your college years were already horrendously boring-"
"Hey!"
"And you need to have some fun."
Katniss shifted from her position on her sofa to the floor, stretching out so that her toes touched the TV unit and the fingertips of her free hand brushed the bottom of the sofa. "I have fun," she argued.
"What, out at the archery range? Katniss, again, that's part of your job. Hell, I've been at Panem State for less than a year, and I swear I've done more in that time than what you did in an entire 4 years."
She stared up at the ceiling, and at the light fixture that was shooting swirling patterns across it. "Like what?" she asked. "You're not pledging or any of that shit, are you?" She heard Prim cough lightly.
"No, no, not at all," she assured Katniss - but she knew that tone. Of course Prim was. It was right up her alley. "Anyway, I have to go. Go - call up Madge or your backup plan this weekend and hit up a club or something."
"My backup plan?" Katniss queried.
"Oh you know, Peeta. The guy you made that deal with a few years ago."
"He's not my backup plan, Prim," Katniss retorted hotly, a flush beginning to creep across her cheeks. "We just agreed to help each other out if it looks like we're getting bothered by someone."
"Mmmm-hmmm," Prim replied.
"Priiiiiiim. What does mmmm-hmmm mean?"
"Nothing, Katniss. Just please. Promise me you'll start doing stuff. Have a social life. Meet a guy. Get laid."
"Prim!"
"Promise!"
Katniss sighed. "Fine. I promise. Probably not on the meet a guy and get laid part. But I promise I'll do stuff."
"Good! I'm gonna text Madge and tell her so you can't skip out on it. Now, I gotta go. Kisses!"
The dial tone beeped in her ear, and Katniss pulled the receiver away, looked at it incredulously. Kisses? What the hell?
She dropped it on the floor beside her and immediately regretted the promise.
Lying on the sofa later that night, Katniss ruminated over her phone call with Prim. She was perfectly happy with her life, she thought firmly. She'd graduated with honours 8 months prior from Panem U, a brand new degree in Forestry Management under her belt, and with a position with the Panem Forestry, Agriculture and Recreation department. She'd moved herself to a new one-bedroom apartment within walking distance of work, and which was still close enough to the city for her to only have to worry about 2 stops on the train to get there. She still saw Madge every week - and Gale, now that he'd finally put a ring on it - and regularly caught up with other friends she'd made through her years at university.
Including Peeta. Absence, somehow, had made her heart feel exceptionally fond of him.
(Not that she thought about that.)
She dug her spoon into the carton of Phish Food again, popping the scoop of icy confectionery into her mouth. When it came down to it, the phone call had done nothing but frustrate her. She didn't need to go out and have fun by getting drunk and going to clubs and meeting boys and doing shit she had no interest in. She had plenty of fun - as she'd told Prim - at the Archery range that was part of the facilities at work, and seeing Madge, and hell, she'd even joined a reading club last month.
And she most definitely didn't need a guy in her life.
Nope. Not at all.
She attacked the carton with a vengeance until there were no phish left.
September 2009
It was gone midnight, for sure. The dorm halls were silent, most people either asleep or studying. Unfortunately for her, she couldn't do either - her brain was running a mile a minute, and Madge, her new roommate, was snoring her head off.
So she'd done the only thing she could think of, and hightailed it to the common room, phone, iPod and a small carton of Ben and Jerry's in hand that she'd swiped from her and Madge's mini-fridge. At least there she might be able to play one of the video games she knew the guys left lying around, and bore her brain to sleep.
But when she turned the corner into the room, expecting it to be empty, she'd instead rammed face first into a broad, muscular chest, and a tub of popcorn tumbled around her feet.
"Ahhh shit," came a low male voice. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you, I didn't see you there!"
Katniss pressed the home button on her phone, held it up so that they had a little light. All she could see was a dark silhouette, and haphazard waves of hair. "It's ok, I didn't see you either. I guess that's what we both get for creeping around in the dark."
The guy in front of her laughed, and she watched as he reached up and rubbed at the back of his neck, her eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. "True. Although I've always been told I sound like a herd of elephants running when I walk, so I rarely surprise anyone." He stuck out a hand. "Hi, I'm Peeta Mellark, freshman preparing one day to become a graphic designer, and that's my popcorn spread at your feet."
She took his hand, appreciated the strong, firm grip. "Nice to meet you, Peeta. I'm Katniss, freshman preparing to conserve our forests, and I'm happy to help you pick the popcorn up."
He laughed again, accepted her offer, and they both crouched down to pick up the displaced kernels. He explained he couldn't sleep and needed a snack; she relayed about Freight Train Undersee in her room, and her plan to play a video game or something to get her to sleep.
His eyes had lit up and he'd offered to play as well, to keep her company.
Two hours later, his Koopa Trooper had outshone her Mushroom, a new tub of popcorn had been devoured, the ice cream was long gone and they'd run through as many obligatory questions they could think of - why they'd picked what they were studying, where they were from, favourite colour, what sports they played, which star was better - Wars or Trek? Katniss had been surprised at how easy she'd found him to talk to, considering she still wasn't the most scintillating conversation maker out there. And considering how good looking he was.
Because there was no denying it - Peeta Mellark was hot.
Blonde hair that kind of waved over the tips of his ears. Blue eyes that smiled, and crinkled at the corners. A grin that was quick, and charming and sincere. Broad shoulders, and hands that, while carrying a few nicks and burn scars from helping his parents out in the family bakery in his teens, had wide palms and long, elegant fingers.
But he was so nice, so friendly, that all of that came in second.
In one night of popcorn and Mario Kart, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark had become friends.
Her work day was finally, blissfully coming to a close, and the end really couldn't come quick enough. Katniss loved her job, there was no doubt about it, but after a long week of meetings and a group of lost hikers she'd had to retrieve earlier in the day, there wasn't much more that she wanted than to go home, have a long soak in her bath and enjoy a quiet Friday night.
Locking the door on the visitor's centre that sat at the edge of the woods, she pocketed the key and set the electronic backup, before heading over to the small wooden building that housed the administration offices. All that she really had left to complete was the incident report on the missing hikers - who, she suspected, got lost in cars even with the help of a GPS - and run a quick eye over the progress of a grant submission the department had been working on.
She stepped into the building just as she felt her back pocket buzz; she pulled out her phone, expecting Prim or Madge. Instead, her eyebrows rose in surprise to see Peeta's name highlighted on her screen. She ignored the little flutter of excitement in her belly, brushed it off as simply being happy to hear from one of her oldest friends after not having spoken to him for a week.
Peeta (sent 4:16pm): Hey. Pizza and beer at Abernathy's tonight with the gang. Keen to join?
Katniss (sent 4:18pm): Sure. What time?
Peeta (sent 4:20pm): 6. You right to get in on the train, or want a pick up?
Katniss (sent 4:23pm): I'm good with the train. C you at 6.
"Pepperoni?"
"Pepperoni."
"I want olives."
"Gross. Just give me mushrooms."
"Anchovies!"
"God, Finn, you're feral. Absolutely not!"
It was the same routine, every time, and sometimes Katniss wondered why they bothered, because the first pie was always the same, without fail. And Finnick never, ever got the anchovies he asked for.
Abernathy's was a remnant of their college years; a bar on the corner of Twelfth and First, they'd frequented it often on Friday nights after a long week of classes. The drinks were standard, and the only thing worth eating on the menu were the pizzas, but it was cheap and casual and always had at least one free pool table.
By the time it hit 9, Katniss was quietly buzzed, and grateful that Peeta had messaged her to come out. She'd wallowed enough the night before, had eaten more ice cream than she should have. So a night out with their friends - Madge and Gale, Peeta, Finnick and Annie, Johanna, Thresh and Rue - had been exactly what she'd needed.
And at least by getting out of the house, she was fulfilling her promise to Prim.
"Hey Everdeen, looks like you might need to save your boy Mellark over there," Jo piped up, shoving another slice of the latest rounds of pizza into her mouth. She tipped her head towards the bar, where Peeta had his hands full both literally and figuratively - three beers, and a curvy redhead who was fluttering her eyelashes like they were damned butterfly wings; the look on his face was a combination of flustered and surprised.
"Sometimes I wish we'd never told you guys our agreement," Katniss glowered.
"What, you'd rather us think you were jealous each time you saved him from another bimbo?" Jo replied with a grin.
Katniss stuck out her tongue, wiped her mouth with her napkin. "True," she said, and watched Peeta carefully. A shoulder shrug was their signal that - Ahh, there it was. Left shoulder shifting upwards. "Alright. I'll go and save him." She stood up from the booth, smoothed her hands down the front of her jeans, took a deep breath. Whenever she did this, she had to use some flirty, confident side of herself that wasn't easy to find. Crossing the room, she tried to put a bit of swing into her step that, frankly, felt a little ridiculous.
"Hey sweetheart," she greeted, slipping an arm around his shoulders and grinning up at him. "I'm dying of thirst over there."
Peeta smiled, handed her one of the beers. "Sorry, I was just talking to Darcy. We had a class together senior year, and were just catching up on old times."
"Oh," Katniss replied, felt her stomach pitch at the realisation that Peeta wasn't being bothered. How had she read the situation so wrong? "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."
"No, not at all," Peeta said. "We were just finishing up. It was nice to see you Darcy."
"You too, Peeta." Wow, those eyelashes were getting a hell of a workout. She sauntered off, her hips swinging in the way Katniss had hoped to achieve, but knew she fell far short on.
Scrubbing her hand across her face, Katniss looked up at Peeta apologetically. "I'm sorry, I totally read that situation wrong," she muttered. "I thought...you know...and you shrugged your shoulder..."
"I did? Sorry, I didn't realise I had. But you know I never mind being rescued by you, Katniss," he smiled. "Darcy was fine. Not that I wanted to hook up with her or anything, but she was fine."
"You didn't want to hook up with her? She's cute."
He shrugged, began to move away from the bar, and Katniss had no choice but to follow. She sipped at her beer as they went, waited for his answer. "Nah. I'm not really looking for anything serious at the moment."
"You always say that," Katniss argued as they skirted around a table. "You haven't been on a date in six months."
"I have so," he laughed, and Katniss' jaw dropped.
"You have?" she asked, and the surprise in her voice was obvious.
"I have," he confirmed. "A couple with a girl who works in the ad agency next to door to my office. Delly's nice."
"Delly?" Katniss repeated. What kind of name was that? "How come...how come you never told me about them?"
Peeta shifted so that his hip bumped against hers playfully. "Because while they were nice dates, they were nothing serious," he grinned. Then they were back at the table again, Peeta was settling down in the booth and gesturing for her to sit down, before slinging his arm across the back of the booth. She slid in beside him almost mechanically, managed not to flinch when his hand brushed her shoulder accidentally.
The idea of Peeta going on dates with a girl he was interested in had filled her with something that was akin to jealousy, and she really didn't like it.
The music was loud, the bass heavy and thumping along in time with her heart. Her feet ached, her head hurt, and some douchebag had been trying to chat her up for the last 10 minutes without getting the hint that she wasn't damn well interested.
It did nothing but confirm that she still hated going out.
This time, it was Madge who had begged her, told her she needed a night of drinking and dancing while Gale was out of town at a conference. And as Katniss preferred drinking on her small balcony and dancing was about as high on her priority list as a root canal, she'd unequivocally said no.
Until Madge had batted those baby blue eyes and played her trump card – Katniss' promise to Prim two weeks earlier. And with no way to avoid the fact that Madge was right and that she had promised her younger sister exactly that, she'd found herself in a dress and heels for the first time in months (the jeans she normally wore to Abernathy's just wouldn't cut it), standing in the corner of the 'hip' club Madge had dragged her to.
So, basically, hell.
"And yeah, like, I once got asked to be a model for GQ but I had to turn them down because I had an audition to go to. It was tough to choose between the two, you know, because I'd like to be known more for my talents than just my face, if you know what I'm saying," they guy in front of her was droning on. Katniss had no idea what he was saying – didn't even give a shit – but his attempts at talking himself up were beyond amusing.
"Hmmmm," she nodded noncommittally, gazing around the room, hoping Madge would get back from the bathroom soon. Hell, she'd even prefer dancing with Two Left Feet Undersee over listening to this guy.
Suddenly, his hand was on her elbow and he was leering at her. "So," he breathed, and she almost gagged at the overpowering stench of bourbon on his breath, "How about it? What do you say you and I get out of here?"
"What do I say?" Katniss repeated, raising an eyebrow and shaking his hand off. "I say leave me the fuck alone."
His eyes – which a moment before had been shining in his own celebration of himself - darkened. "You're such a prick tease," he hissed. "Standing there all-"
"Hey babe." The smooth voice spoke up behind her, and the lips that accompanied it pressed softly against the side of the neck.
Thank god.
"Peeta, I thought you'd never get here," she said with a smile, allowing his arms to slip around her waist, drawing her body into his. She turned her head slightly, hoped the gratefulness in her eyes showed.
"Sorry, I got caught up on a work project," he apologised, then allowed his eyes to slide towards GQ guy. Katniss turned back to find him staring at them angrily.
"Oh, Cato, I'd like you to meet Peeta, my boyfriend," she introduced sweetly. And she knew even while she spoke, the guy was already sizing up Peeta; the arms that were strong and muscular from years of wrestling through college, the broad chest that had been honed from lugging bags of flour around his parents bakery from his teenage years, the wavy blond hair that fell with no effort at all, and the firm and protective hold he had around Katniss.
Cato held his hands up in a surrender gesture. "Sorry, buddy. Didn't know. But maybe you should stop letting your girlfriend flirt with dudes in bars, hey?" He sauntered off, body braced and alert, obviously already on the lookout for the next woman he'd try to conquest.
The minute Cato was out of their sight, they gracefully slid apart. "Thanks, Peeta," Katniss said sincerely.
"No worries. Just doing what we do," he replied, shoved his hands in his pockets.
"The, uh, kiss on the neck was a nice touch," she told him, and he grinned.
"I was hoping you wouldn't mind. Or, at the very least, not punch me," he told her.
She rolled her eyes. "Hey, our deal is to help each other out, right? I'm glad you were here...though I thought you were having a quiet weekend at home," she teased.
"It was a last minute decision to come out for a couple of drinks with Finn. But I'm glad I was here too," Peeta smiled, then gestured towards the bar. "Do you want a drink? I'm going to get a beer; I can get one for you if you like?"
Katniss nodded, watched him walk away, and sighed.
She lifted her hand to her neck, played her fingers gently across the skin, and hated the fact that she wished his kisses were real.
The first time he'd kissed her, they'd had the agreement for almost a year. Before then, it had only ever been an arm around a waist, a hug, a stupid term of endearment. That had always been enough to put anyone off.
But for some reason, one Saturday night at a club downtown, Peeta's lips had found her cheek as he'd pulled her close.
It had almost burned like a brand, but Peeta had carried on as though it was nothing out of the ordinary.
"He kissed my neck."
"What? Who? Huh? Katniss, what the hell are you talking about? It's - geez, 8am on a Saturday morning! - and you're calling me with cryptic shit? I'm hungover and hanging up right now."
"Peeta!" His name burst forth from her lips. "Peeta kissed my neck last night!"
Madge yawned. "So? It's part of your deal, right? Pretend to be dating to get rid of the weirdo trying to hit on you?"
Katniss dropped down onto the grass beside the lake, began twisting her shoelace between her fingertips. The girls' night with Madge the night before had turned into a drinking session when they'd bumped into Finnick and Peeta. Which had been fine. Except Peeta had kissed her neck.
And it was all she'd been able to think about for the rest of the night.
She'd hardly slept, and when the sun came peeking over the horizon, she threw on her running gear and headed for the lake nearby to run off her confusion, her shock…
Her complete and utter infatuation.
Because in less than twelve hours, something that had seemed like an occasional fleeting thought had suddenly become all she could think about.
And all because of a mouth pressed against the delicate skin of her neck, just under-
"KATNISS!"
"Huh, what?" She shook her head, focused on Madge's voice through the phone line.
"I said, what's the issue here? You guys have been each other's beard for years."
"Yeah but it's different."
"Why?"
"Because...because..."
She heard Madge hoot. "Ohhhhhhh my god! You like him!"
"No I don't!" Katniss insisted hotly.
"Word association time, Katniss," Madge demanded, and Katniss sighed. They'd played this numerous times during college, as a way of getting info the other didn't particularly want to share. 9/10 the truth always came out.
"I don't want to play."
"Chicken. If I had any energy I'd be doing my Lucille Bluth chicken dance right now."
"Fiiiiiiiiine. Hurry up."
"Morning."
"Sun."
"Forest."
"Green."
"Wine."
"White."
"Fire."
"Burn."
"Finnick."
"Confident."
"Rue."
"Sweet."
"Peeta."
"Naked."
"Woah!" Madge laughed, even as Katniss groaned. "There you go. Can't take that one back, Katniss! How long has this been going on for?"
"I dunno," she muttered. "Maybe in the last couple of months I've...thought of him a little differently. But last night…"
"This is adorable."
"This is stupid," she complained, even while her hand drifted to press against where he'd kissed. "It's pointless. We're friends, and I don't want to ruin that just because-"
"Just because what?"
"Just because I have a weird crush on him," Katniss whispered.
Madge yawned down the phone. "Why don't you just tell him?"
"I can't do that. He's one of my best friends. And after rescuing him for so long, who'll save him from my crazy?"
"Maybe he won't want to be saved from you; you never know."
Katniss rolled her eyes, pulled herself to her feet. "Whatever. Go back to sleep Madge."
She didn't see Peeta for a few weeks, and Katniss thought it was probably a good thing. It would help her to forget about it, to get over this silly little crush, so things could go back to the way they used to be. So they could go back to the way things should be. Buddies. Nothing more, nothing less.
And then she heard about Bristel.
November 2012
"No! Shit! Finn, what the hell are you doing? Didn't you see the sniper?" Peeta tossed the remote onto the floor in disgust as his character onscreen lay lifeless on the ground, blood splattered around him. Finnick, as lookout and backup, had failed, and the two yelled at each other fiercely.
Katniss couldn't help but laugh at the seriousness of it all.
"It's just a game, douchebags!" Jo yelled from the other side of the dorm common room. "Quit your bitching!"
"We're not bitching!" they both tossed back in unison, then laughed; and just like that, it was over. Peeta nudged Finnick in the arm, Finnick tossed him a grin, then hightailed it out of the room, announcing he was going to go find sympathy from Annie.
Katniss slid next to Peeta on the couch, taking Finnick's spot, and ruffled his hair. "You dead?"
"Yeahhhhh," he groaned despondently and dropped his head to her shoulder. "So close to the end too."
"You can always finish the game tomorrow," she reminded him.
"I know," Peeta sighed, then twisted his head to look up at her. "You going to Glimmer's party tonight?"
Katniss rolled her eyes. "Hell no. I've got about ten billion things I'd rather do than go to one of her parties."
"Name two," he demanded.
"Getting my makeup done and painting my toenails."
His eyes widened comically, knowing as well as she did that she hardly ever wore makeup, and that no-one touched her feet ever. "Wow, that's pretty important stuff."
"Yeah I know." They fell into companionable silence, one they'd gotten used to in the three years they'd now been friends. "So are you going to go?"
He lifted his head to look at her properly. "I think so. I've studied my brains out this week, and I need a break. Are you sure you won't come, keep me company?"
"Nah. I think I might just stay in, call my sister and get an early night. I'm going hiking tomorrow, so…"
"Say no more," he said with a smile, even as his eyes dimmed. If there was a hint of wistfulness to his tone, she didn't think anything of it.
A week later, he was dating Glimmer Roberts, and until they broke up four months later, the agreement between Katniss and Peeta lay dormant.
At the time, Katniss wouldn't have thought that the weird feelings she had had about Peeta and Glimmer's short-lived relationship had been jealousy. But now, seeing him with Bristel Woodstock, she knew that's exactly what it had been.
Because it was precisely what she was feeling now. Possibly tenfold to what she felt back then.
Abernathy's had never felt more alien. Peeta was over playing pool with his new girlfriend, Madge and Gale were cosied up on one side of the corner booth, Finnick and Annie on the other. Thresh and Rue were out of town, and Jo was on a date with a guy from her work who she'd explained had "big guns, big feet, big hands and...well, you know where I'm going here, Brainless…"
So she was slowly but surely drowning her sorrows in a glass of Sam's and taking a risk with the nachos.
Bristel was pretty, she supposed. Dark brown, almost black, hair, cut in one of those cute bobs that waved to her shoulders and bangs that swooped down over half of her forehead. Her skin was olive, like Katniss', though maybe a shade lighter, and she 100% filled out her jeans better than Katniss did. She smiled at Peeta with bright, white, straight teeth, and followed his cues seriously when he gave her a few pointers.
"He met her at the coffee place just around the corner from his apartment." Finnick leant in close, and he whispered the words in her ear.
"How long-" her voice squeaked, and she cleared her throat. "Uh, how long have they been seeing each other?"
"About 3 weeks," Finnick replied, shifting his gaze back across the room to where Peeta was now doing the standard 'let me show you how to play pool' manoeuvre, and had curled his body behind Bristel's as they lined up the cue. "Annie and I think she kind of looks like you."
Katniss snorted, shifted her gaze away when her eyes locked with Peeta's. She couldn't look at them anymore. "She looks nothing like me."
"There's a resemblance," he said, shrugging.
Katniss ignored his comment, went back to her drink. Any possibility that she'd be able to get over what she was feeling had gone out the window the moment she'd seen Peeta with Bristel, and the last few weeks of resolve had all been for nothing.
"You should tell him, you know," Finnick piped up again, even quieter this time.
"Tell who what?" she muttered, even while the blood rushed from her head.
"Peeta. You should tell him you like him."
"I don't."
"Katniss."
"Finnick."
"Katniss." She glanced at him then, noted the sincere look in his eyes. "I was there the other week, at The Arena. I saw when that guy was hitting on you, and I saw Peeta approach you. I saw him kiss you and I saw the way you reacted."
"Finnick, you perve," she joked. Anything to throw him off. "Are you stalking Peeta or I?"
"Haha," he mock laughed. "But you're not going to throw me off. I know what I saw, Kitty Kat, and I've ever seen a look like that on your face before."
She shrugged, lifted her glass and swirled the liquid around. "Doesn't matter if I do anyway. He's with Bristel now."
"Yeah, well just remember what I said, ok?"
"What part?"
"You'll remember it, Katniss, when you need to."
That night she fell asleep and dreamt about Peeta's arms wrapped around her waist, his hands splayed across her stomach and his lips pressed against her neck, his breath hot against her ear. She dreamt about his body lined up against hers, about how the smooth skin of his chest would feel against hers, about how she imagined his mouth would feel against her breast. About how good it would be to rise over him in the dark, how it would feel to have the 3 day growth he'd always sported during study week brush along the inside of her thighs.
And she woke up feeling frustrated, annoyed and very, very lonely.
March 2013
"No, I'm good, thanks."
"Why? Am I not good enough for you to dance with?" Even from 5 feet away, Katniss could hear the indignance in the girls' voice. She'd planted her hands on her denim clad hips, her wavy blonde hair tumbling down her back as she swung it from off her shoulder.
"No, I didn't say that," Peeta said calmly. "I just…" His eyes caught Katniss's over the girls shoulder, the question in them obvious, and she nodded. "I have a girlfriend, and I don't think it would be right for me to dance with someone else."
"Oh." The girls' body seemed to deflate entirely. Then she straightened her shoulders, scanned the room. "Well, where is she then?"
Katniss rolled her eyes (why it was any of this girl's business or her right to know was beyond her), but she stepped forward anyway, reaching for the glass in Peeta's hand and sipping at his drink. "Hey, sorry I was gone for ages. The line for the bathroom was soooo long." She handed the glass back to him, tucked her hand into his free one. "And of course everyone in there was taking about an hour to fix their makeup and hogging the counter and sink space." She turned to face the girl, tried to look as friendly as possible. "Hi there, I'm Katniss."
"Uh, I'm Cashmere," the girl muttered. "I...I have to go." She turned on her heel, disappeared into the crowd.
Katniss turned back to Peeta, raised an eyebrow. "Wow, you must be wearing a big sign that says 'I'm newly single, hit on me really insistently!'. That's the second time tonight, Mellark."
Peeta grinned, one corner of his mouth lifting slightly more than the other. "Lucky you're here then."
"Yeah, but do you know how exhausting that is? I have to pretend to be, like, charming, and confident."
"You don't have to be," he shrugged, and she noted the twinkle in his eye. "You could always play the super bitchy girlfriend who acts all jealous the minute any girl is near me."
"That's possibly an even worse scenario," Katniss groaned, and Peeta laughed, threw an arm around her shoulders.
"I'd like to see it," he told her, squeezing her arm playfully.
"In your dreams."
"True."
"Shut up, Peeta."
Katniss didn't go out much over the next two months. Work was busy, and with the huge grant proposal to be finalised, most of her spare time was spent making sure it was perfect. It would mean a significant increase in their budget if it was successful, and would make a huge difference for their department.
The added benefit of not having to see Peeta and Bristel was just a bonus.
Peeta texted her often - her responses, if she sent them at all, were short and to the point. Jo would send her one sentence emails while she was at work, mostly saying nothing more exciting than I had a bologna sandwich for lunch. Prim nagged her, and so did Madge, though for very different reasons - Prim just wanted her to go out; Madge wanted her to tell Peeta she liked him before things became 'even more serious' between he and Bristel.
It was the 'even more' that put the final nail in the coffin, because the implication that things were already serious was there.
Katniss knew then that their agreement was finally done. Even if Peeta and Bristel didn't last in the long run, she couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't pretend when, for once, she finally felt something real.
She couldn't pretend with Peeta when it was what she really wanted.
May 2013
It was close to 2am by the time she was sneaking back in the dorm, her jacket slung over her arm and her hair a mess. When she'd agreed to go to the concert with Seneca she hadn't really expected to be in the third row, a mass of people surrounding her all surging forward to get as close as they could to the stage. Now she reeked of the alcohol that got poured down the jacket, and felt sweaty, disgusting - and dead tired.
Katniss walked up the stairs to her room on the first floor, tried to be as quiet as possible - but Peeta's door swung open the moment the stupid old wooden floorboard creaked with her weight.
"Hey Katniss," he said with a gentle smile. She noticed he looked a little sad. "Late night?"
She shrugged. "Yeah. The concert ran long, and having a couple hundred people all try and leave at once is ridiculous. But speaking of being up late..." She raised an eyebrow at him.
"I fell asleep studying at about 7, then woke up at midnight, wide awake," he replied ruefully. "You have a good time though?"
"The band was good. Seneca...not so much. There's nothing serious there, nothing real. I knew I shouldn't have broken my no dating rule on him, but I really wanted to see the band and thought maybe he would be more interesting than he turned out to be..."
Peeta nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I get it," he said - a little more enthusiastically than she thought her comment warranted - then glanced down the hall, chewed on his lower lip. "Uh, I figured I should tell you that Gale is in your room, with Madge. I, uh, don't think they expected you back tonight."
"Oh didn't they?" Her eyes narrowed, and he shrugged.
"Apparently. You can just crash in here if you like, take Finnick's bed - he's away for the weekend visiting his parents."
Katniss glanced down the hall longingly towards her room, then thought of the possibility of Madge and Gale waking up at 4am to do it like jack rabbits. That was more than enough for her to make a decision.
"Ok, I think I will, thanks." She followed him into his room, past the living space he and Finnick shared with their other two roommates, and into the guys bedroom. She dropped her jacket to the floor, flopped backwards onto Finnick's bed.
"So exhausted," she groaned, and Peeta chuckled.
"That's what happens when you go on dates and stay out late," He told her.
"Yeah, well lucky I don't normally ever do it," she yawned, her eyes fluttering closed. She felt his hands close around her feet as he gently pulled off the flats she wore – and didn't even feel the need to flinch. "Thanks Peeta," she murmured.
"Anytime," he whispered in reply. He pulled the covers up over her, smoothed a hand over her hair; she reached up and twined her fingers through his.
"Thank you. I'll miss you when school finishes." She felt his hand still on the end of her braid, then twist the strands gently around his finger.
"We'll still see each other, Katniss. We're...we're friends. You'll always have me."
"Promise?" She asked, even as sleep began to envelop her.
"Always," he whispered.
Despite successfully avoiding Peeta for as long as she could, Katniss couldn't refuse attending drinks for Thresh's birthday, and she found herself back at The Arena; Madge on one side of her, Annie on the other, and a soft drink in hand. She'd intentionally driven into the city so that she wasn't tempted to drink, and there was zero chance of her drinking so much that she let anything stupid slip, like 'I dream about Peeta kissing my neck, everyone!'.
She also figured it was time she got over it.
So when a cute guy by the name of Darius started chatting to her, she chatted back. And when he asked her to dance, she said yes.
He was friendly, pleasant, not sleazy, with freckles scattered across his cheeks and a shock of red hair that was kind of cute. He liked soccer like she did, used to hunt with his dad as a kid - just like she did - and they liked the same bands. He might not make her skin pebble with excitement when he moved in close on the dance floor, but that was ok. She wasn't looking for excitement.
"Hey, buddy, do you mind if I cut in?"
The last thing she'd expected to hear that night had been Peeta's voice. She'd been thankful when she'd arrived to see Peeta and Bristel hadn't shown. She'd thought it a small mercy at the time, but now it seemed like it wasn't the case.
She glanced over her shoulder to see him, his face pleasant and his smile friendly.
"Uh…" She turned back to see Darius' brow furrowed in confusion, then faced Peeta again.
"It's ok, Peeta, we're good," she told him, her eyes expressively telling me she didn't need his help. She made sure her shoulders stayed firm. "Darius and I were just dancing."
"I can see that," he replied, and that's when she noticed the ice in his eyes.
"Peeta, are you ok?" she asked sincerely. "Is everything alright?"
"No, no it isn't," he said shortly, his jaw firming. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen him so...angry. She turned back to Darius apologetically, leant in close to him so she didn't have to speak loudly. "I'm sorry. Do you mind? Peeta is an old friend, and I think something is wrong."
Darius nodded reluctantly. "I'll just be over at the bar, if you want to catch up again."
Katniss smiled. "Sure," she agreed, allowed him to step away. The minute he was out of earshot, she whirled on Peeta.
"What the fuck?" she snapped. "Is whatever is wrong so important that you had to interrupt me? Darius is the nicest guy I've met in about 2 years. And I'm pretty sure you're forgetting the one rule of our agreement, buddy - if one of us is dating, it's void. Not that I even needed you to step in, so cut me some dating slack, would you?"
He folded his arms across his chest. "No."
"No?" she echoed incredulously. "Who the hell are you to say that to me?"
"Your friend, for one. Who you've been ignoring."
"I haven't been ignoring you," she hissed hotly. "I've just...been busy."
"Busy ignoring and avoiding me. What the hell, Katniss? I haven't seen you in months, you hardly say boo to me when I send you a text, and-"
She folded her own arms across her chest angrily, not sure if it was the pounding of the music or Peeta that was giving her the bigger headache. "Big deal! Surely you've been busy with your girlfriend, Bristel."
"She's not my girlfriend!"
"Oh, sorry. Is she just your friend with benefits?" God, she was so angry at him, and now she was saying stupid shit like this!
"No," he bit out, and his eyes flared. "We broke up."
"Well if you acted like this with her, I can see why she dumped you!"
"She didn't dump me, I dumped her! Because I want to be with someone else!"
"Then good luck to them, because they're gonna need it," she snapped, and whirled on her foot, stalked away. Here was the guy she'd not been able to get her mind off for months, and now he was doing nothing but breaking her heart and being an asshole at the same time.
She stormed off the dance floor, and straight out the door.
Darius didn't even enter her mind.
The knock on her door came at midnight, and she knew immediately who it was.
Stomping from her bedroom and down the hall, Katniss peered through the peephole. Peeta stood there, his hands shoved in his pockets and his hair a sweaty, dishevelled mess.
"Go away," she snapped through the door. "I don't want to talk to you right now."
"You have to," Peeta pleaded. "I need to say I'm sorry. You…you didn't deserve that."
"No shit. You come to complain to me about us not speaking for months, and the first thing you do is yell at me?"
"I know, I know, I didn't handle it well! Katniss, can we please talk? I hate fighting with you."
She dropped her head so that her forehead hit the wood of the door. "Peeta…no. I can't speak to you right now."
"Why not?"
"Because I just can't, ok? I can't do this."
She heard him sigh through the door. "We've never not been able to talk to each other."
"I know. But things are different."
"Different how?"
"They just are, Peeta. Now, please, just…go home."
"I can't. I won't. Not now. I've waited too long to tell you, and now that I'm here, I have to do it. Even if it's through a closed door."
"Do what?" She closed her eyes, pressed her palms against the door.
She heard him clear his throat. "It's you, Katniss. You're the one I broke up with Bristel for. I…I've liked you for so long, and these last few months have been killing me. Bristel is great, and she's nice, but…somewhere along the way I realised I was with her only because she bore a resemblance to you. And that's not fair on her. Or me. Or you."
Her heart hitched in her chest at his words. This wasn't even real life. Surely she was in one of those shitty Nicholas Sparks movies that Madge loved.
"Katniss? Are you there?"
"I'm…I'm here."
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah." She lifted a hand to her head, tried to get it to stop spinning. "I don't understand, though. Where has this come from?"
"It's not come from anywhere," he whispered, and she strained to hear him. "I've always felt this way."
"Always?"
"From the moment I bumped into you in the common room. It was like a lightning bolt. I like video games, Katniss, but I wouldn't stay up til 3am playing Mario Kart for just anyone."
Her jaw dropped, even though he couldn't see it. "But that was 5 years ago, Peeta. We've…hell, we've pretended to date in those 5 years!"
"I know. But even back then you were just so firm on not having relationships, and I guess...I guess I just figured I had to settle for being your friend, and helping you in whatever way I could. And maybe I'll still have to, but I at least needed to tell you."
She felt stupid, having this kind of conversation through the door. Reaching for the latch, she slid it across, opened the door to find him resting against the frame, his eyes closed. He opened them almost immediately – they were tired, and full of emotions she wasn't sure she understood.
She was quiet as she looked at him, as she tried to process everything - what he was telling her, the look in his eyes, the knowledge that he'd felt something for five years and she'd never once had an idea that he felt that way. "Why now?" she finally asked dumbly.
"Because not speaking to you for the last month or so has been the worst time of my life, and I didn't even know why we weren't talking. Because tonight, when I saw you with that Darius guy, I realised that I didn't want to have to help you deflect guys anymore. I just wanted it to be me." She opened her mouth to reply, but Peeta barrelled on regardless. "And it's ok if you don't feel the same, that's fine. But I just needed-"
"Shut up, Peeta," she said firmly, and his head jerked back in surprise. But she didn't let it stop her, and took a deep breath. "I stopped talking to you because I couldn't handle seeing you with Bristel. I couldn't deal with you being with someone who wasn't…me."
His eyes widened in shock. "What?"
"You heard me," she muttered. "I might not have liked you for as long as you've liked me, but I do. And these last few months have been the worst while I had to think of you with someone else."
She saw the way it spread across his face - the smile started at his lips, slid across his cheeks, lit up his eyes. "Really? I mean...really?"
Katniss nodded, rested her back against the door. "Yeah, really."
"I don't believe it." He shook his head, rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "This is just…I don't believe it."
"Believe it. But I think we're going to have to talk about this, because, seriously, Peeta? 5 fucking years? What were you waiting-"
He cut her off when he enthusiastically pressed his lips to hers, his arms sliding around her waist just like she'd dreamed of.
And damn, it put the neck kiss to shame.