"Wouldn't it be easier if there was just a spell to find your soulmate?"
She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, and she winced, biting her lower lip to stop herself from saying anything further. The soft thump, thump, thump that made up the background noise of their dormitory paused briefly, before a humming noise reached her ears as a reply.
"A soulmate spell?" came the speculative request, and Astoria sighed noisly, tugging on a lock of hair.
"I just mean..." she paused, eyes flickering up to stare at the curtains that partially surrounded her bed, "It would make things so much easier"
A snort was her reply, "Or so much more difficult. What if it's someone you don't like?"
Astoria tugged on her hair again, swinging her eyes across the room to stare at the top of her roommate's head, red hair spilling down over her pillow. Ginny was lying on her back, feet on the wall over where the head of the bed should be, head at the foot of the bed, hands hovering in the air above her body, holding a small red ball.
When they had decided to come back to school after the war, McGonagall had turned the entire school around. She'd done away with the sorting hat, and instead split the school by years, forcing former rivals to support each other. Astoria had been suspicious of the redhead when they'd been paired into a room together, but it turned out her fears had been unfounded. Ginny was friendly, and funny, and a little mean, and in another lifetime would probably have made the perfect Slytherin. She had a charisma that drew people to her, and she'd immediately taken to Astoria and pulled her under her umbrella of popularity.
Astoria was quieter, meeker, the perfect little pureblood. And while she'd never wanted for friends, she'd never exactly stood out either. She was exactly what someone would want for in a society wife, which was why her parents were trying to make connections with other families to find her a marriage. Even post-war, some habits died hard.
"But it's your soulmate. By default, wouldn't you love them?" she asked back. Ginny chuckled, renewing her activity of throwing the ball against the wall, alternating hands she caught it with.
"I don't think love is a requirement for being a soulmate," she responded.
Astoria wrinkled her nose, "But, that doesn't make sense. If someone is your soulmate, your other half, wouldn't you love that part of you?"
"I mean, maybe? But if they're your other half, wouldn't that imply they're your opposite? In which case it'd be just as likely that they'd drive you nutters, and not in the good way," answered Ginny.
For a fleeting moment Astoria wondered if the other girl felt that way about her. She'd known for years that she was more attracted to women than men. She'd never felt the way all those love poems proclaimed you should when she'd dated the guys in her year. She just felt empty. A little flat. Perhaps some kinship, but never any butterflies. Never that fluttering in your chest. It wasn't until a Hufflepuff girl had kissed her during an evening of spin the bottle that she'd realized what she was missing.
And now, now she was living in her own private hell. The odds were stacked against her as it was. Chances were four out of five that any other girl she met would be straight, and given the small population size and repressive society she'd grown up in, there was a good likelihood she'd either end up alone or pretending to like some guy long enough to produce an heir or two before letting him off to find a mistress. Ginny was her wil'o 'the wisp. She was bright, and attractive, and drew her like a moth to the flame, and was always close enough to see but too far away to touch.
"I always thought it would be like finding your puzzle piece. That part that makes you whole," she confessed, looking back down at the book in her lap.
"That still doesn't mean you'd love them," answered Ginny. Astoria sighed, nodding.
"I guess you're right"
She heard the other girl stop again, and the shuffle of her body on sheets as she moved around, "What's got you so worried, Tori?"
The querry was gentle, and she hated the soft flutter of her heart against her ribcage in response, "Mother sent me some more possible matches to look over"
Ginny groaned, "What is wrong with your families"
Astoria giggled, "I'm not sure I could cover that in one lifetime"
"Isn't that the truth," Came the quiet reply, and Astoria fell silent once more. She knew it was just one more thing the that counted against her. She let a breath out through her nose, staring at the book in front of her. Spells to help make decisions. Ridiculous really, how would a spell help make a decision? Was it the magic working out your internal desires? Or were you manipulating the spell to get your desired result? Wasn't it all really just a farce of a way to do something you want without facing the repercussions because it was magic?
She startled as she felt the side of her bed dip, and she swung her head around to catch blue eyes staring at her thoughtfully. She snapped the book shut sharply, opening her mouth to say something, but pausing at the expression on Ginny's face. It was gentle, and fond, and perhaps a little nervous even.
"Gin?" she asked, lips bending down, brow furrowing. The other girl smiled nervously, chuckling a little before she grabbed one of Astoria's hands in her own, leaning her upper body towards her.
"Please don't hate me for this," the redhead whispered, just as she closed the distance and pressed her lips against Astoria's.
Astoria sat completely still for a moment, feeling the soft press of a warm mouth against her own. She blinked once, noting that Ginny's eyes were closed, and realized she should do the same. In her hesitation, she could feel her friend become uneasy and start to pull back. She slammed her lids shut, taking her free hand up and tangling it in Ginny's hair, encouraging her back to her mouth as she returned the kiss.
They both winced as their teeth clacked against each other in Astoria's enthusiasm, but a moment later their lips brushed against each other once more, and then again and again. Astoria groaned against Ginny's mouth, and the other girl responded with a whine of her own. Tongues met and curled against each other tentatively, before retreating, and Astoria reluctantly pulled back, peppering small kisses against Ginny's lips before resting their foreheads together.
The two panted as they met eyes again, and Astoria took in the small lines at the corners of her friend's eyes as she smiled at her.
"See? No soulmate spell required"