My Psycho Psychic Girlfriend:
And to follow up on my previous Kid Icarus One-shot, I decided to create this small vignette, just to increase the factor of how I can make Dark Pit lose his mind. xD and for the record, I shall refer Dark Pit as either Dark Pit or Pittoo, and I don't know when or why.
Now, let us get some disclaimers out: I don't own Dark Pit or any other character used in this fanfiction, other than the Underworld Shopkeeper, Mindy(yes, she has a name).
"Dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang!"
An angel with dark black wings then crashed right into the floor, where the wings in question were quite tired out and exhausted.
"Aw geez...now I have to wait a little before flying..."
It was Pit's doppelgänger, Dark Pit. He basically wore what Pit did, except it was in a black color. Even his hair was black.
"Now, to start, where am I?"
Dark Pit, or Pittoo-
"Don't call me that!"
But it is much easier!
"I don't care! Just don't refer to me as that!"
As I was saying, he was walking around the area, looking at the structures. They were mostly spiked rocks and pillars.
"So, I can only conclude this is the Underworld."
And right he was. Pittoo-
"Would you-"
Look, I'm the author. I'm not going to take authority from a video game character. Anyways, Pittoo was aimlessly lost, walking around, looking for some way to get out of this Underworld Crevasse or something like that. Unfortunately, he ran into a couple of enemies and reapers when he stepped on a rock.
"Like I need this right now."
Dark Pit took out his personal staff, the Dark Pit staff, and started sniping his enemies.
"Nothing to it."
Suddenly, a Pluton went up behind him and stole his staff.
"Hey! You can't do that in this game!"
Pittoo then tried searching for another weapon available to him, but he came out short.
"Are you serious?"
Suddenly, his ears picked up to the sound of a bell.
"Wait a second..."
He turned his head around frantically; desperate for the thing he was looking for.
"That's it. An Underworld shop!"
As Dark Pit made his way into the shop, he heard a woman's voice ring to the outside.
"Come one and come all! Best deals on weapons you'll get today! Try the Rail Cannon with a Confusion upgrade! Or our Silver Bow with a dash speed modifier!"
Dark Pit pushed the door open, where in his sights was the shopkeeper. It was a female, looked around his physical appearance age, had white stockings and ballet flats, a purple outfit that was similar to Elsie's from The World God Only Knows, she had a black skull chibi hair-clip that was in hot pink hair, and she was happily selling weapons to a few Dark Warriors for their upcoming Light vs Dark Battles.
"Whoa, She makes some good deals."
Eventually the customers left with their new weapons, where she waved goodbye to them.
"Come again!"
Dark Pit then looked at the various weapons that spread across the wall.
"You must be Pittoo!~"
Dark Pit turned around; quickly stepping back after the shopkeeper was all in his face.
"Watch it Lady, I want my space."
The girl just smiled at him.
"So does something interest you Dark Pit?"
Dark Pit's eyes then followed to a silver and blue rifle.
"The laser staff. How much?"
The girl looked at the weapon on the wall.
"A bit pricey, but it is 4000 hearts. But for you Pittoo, I'll give you for 3500.
Dark Pit sighed as he dug into his little bag of hearts.
"Fine, here. Happy?"
"I'm already happy. You're here. The name is Mindy by the way!"
The Laser Rifle then floated down into Dark Pit's hands.
"How did you-"
"The name was Mindy, so, Mindy, like in Mind, naturally, making me a psychic! Although, I can only control the powers of floating things, AKA telekinesis. Can't do mind-reading and-"
Dark Pit was already starting to walk away from the girl while she was talking.
"Finally, time to get back my weapons."
As he kept walking through the Underworld, he saw the Pluton making a deal with other Plutons.
"Hey! You guys better keep your hands off my stuff!"
He then started firing the laser staff rapidly in succession, scaring them off and even landing some hits.
"Beat it ya buffons!"
The Plutons left his belongings on the floor, making him smirk.
"What a bunch of wussies."
As he picked up the belongings, a beam of light then shone over him, making his wings glow green.
"Viridi..."
A voice then rang from above.
"Yeah, yeah, we lost contact. Let's just get you back."
Dark Pit then floated back up into the air, flying high into the heavens or the goddesses.
"You could just say Main Menu."
True.
A few minutes later:
Dark Pit was at the main menu, where he was just standing around.
"Nothing to do..."
Suddenly, his phone rang, where it was his own personal theme battle.
"Don't tell me it's..."
As he looked at the caller ID, he just growled.
"What do you want Pit?"
"Pittoo-"
"How many times must I say not to call me that?"
"5 times."
"I don't need to tell you a sixth now, do I?"
"Hey, just trying to say that you left your Silver Bow here since last week's Light vs Dark Match...it kinda got sold to another Light Warrior."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, sorry man, but...looks like you gotta find yourself a new Silver Bow."
His phone then beeped, ending the call. Dark Pit was seething.
"That bow...costed me 100000 hearts!"
Dark Pit then crushed the phone that was in his hand out of anger.
"And I just, crushed...my phone. GAH!"
He was about to raise a fist, ready to slam it into a wall.
"You break it you buy it!"
Dark Pit stopped at the goddess' voice, not wanting to spend an already accumulating amount of hearts. He just sighed before throwing his phone away.
"I should have bought the insurance..."
Dark Pit went into his accommodation within the Main Menu, picking up his laptop.
"To...eBay."
As he was surfing the web on his laptop, he came across a certain item.
"A Limited Edition Silver Bow weapon gem?"
As he clicked on the item, it was just like his original Silver Bow, except a few things added to it.
"Well this is just perfect! Now, who's the sucker that I'm going…to…take…it…from…"
His eyes were rested on the location of pickup and who owned it.
Silver Bow Weapon Gem:
Good condition
Replica powers to ones that Pittoo uses
Location: Mindy's Underworld Bazaar
Owned by: Mindy 3 Dark
"Don't tell me she…geh…fine."
Pittoo then sighed, sending an email to the merchant. After that, he walked out, passing one of the Dark Warriors.
"Dark Pit! One of the goddesses, I think Viridi, request your attention!"
Dark Pit just walked past him.
"Tell her that I have other important businesses to deal with first. I'll make the call to tell her when to pick me up."
After that, Dark Pit continued down the hall, nearing a large door.
"I want the nearest passage to...Mindy's Underworld Bazaar..."
The door opened up, showing a desolate dark wasteland.
"That was easy enough."
He descended to the ground, where he was already dashing to the store. When he got inside, he saw the girl singing to a track she probably made herself.
"And always bad boy, but I can't help but squeal for joy!"
"What is it? New song you wrote?"
Suddenly Mindy screamed and fell off the counter. Dark Pit couldn't help but chuckle under his breath.
"It's not funny!"
"From my end it is."
Mindy just floated up using some of her telekinesis, looking at him.
"You're here for the bow, right?"
Dark Pit was about to drop a bag of hearts onto the counter, when his eyes caught something behind Mindy.
"Is that, an Icarusphone 4S?"
Mindy looked behind her, seeing the phone.
"Oh yeah. Right now it's on sale, and today's the last day.
Dark Pit knew he was going to regret it, but he asked anyway.
"How much..."
"92000 hearts on sale."
"That's almost expensive as my original silver bow!"
"Take it or leave it."
Dark Pit just growled while digging through his heart collection, paid the woman, taking the phone and the silver bow.
"Uh..."
Pittoo just sighed.
"Don't tell me I have to pay for Taxes."
"No! I mean, just...will, you, um...willyougooutwithme?"
Dark Pit turned around to see the blushing merchant.
"Uh...please?"
Dark Pit just turned around, looking like he had little care for her.
"Not interested."
Mindy then got onto her knees, grabbing Dark Pit's ankle.
"Pwease?"
Dark Pit then saw the puppy dog eyes that she was giving him, making it an uneasy decision.
"Umm...o...k?"
Mindy then crushed him into a bear hug.
"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"
Dark Pit had an uneasy look on his face, looking quite surprised at the hug.
"No...problem?"
Mindy then loosened her grip, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"You won't regret it! Have a nice day!"
Dark Pit just picked up his things, walked outside, and then started wiping his cheek with a small napkin.
"Something tells me that I'm already starting to regret it."
Back at the Main Menu:
Viridi was starting to chew out Dark Pit.
"I specifically asked you to be here! But no! You ditch a very important discussion with the almighty Viridi, goddess of nature, to go shopping for an Icarusphone and a Silver Bow?"
"Yes."
Viridi was just stunned by Pittoo's nonchalant answer.
"Why you, you-"
"Now if you excuse me, since this conversation is over, I'm in a need to get ready for a date."
Dark Pit then started walking out of the room.
"H-hey! Don't you dare ignore me Pittoo! Pittoo! Are you even listening? When I get my hands on you, I'm going to make you kiss my-"
Dark Pit closed the door, ignoring the goddess' cries from inside.
"A date. Very out of character of me. Thanks a lot author."
No problem.
Back in Skyworld:
Pit was a bit busy shining Palutena's pair of shoes.
"She will definitely notice this!"
A feminine voice came from behind him.
"Oh Pit! That's so nice of you!"
"Thanks Lady Palute- HOLY HADES!"
Behind Pit was his doppelgänger, which means he faked him out.
"Looks like you could be fooled by anyone who could make it sound like her. Who's not a puppet?"
"Shut up Pittoo! It's just, you really caught me off guard!"
Pitto just posed as something Palutena would, and then made the same imitation voice.
"Oh Pit! I am so in love with you! Please! Hold me tighter!"
"Don't disrespect the goddess Palutena like that! And what are you even here for anyway?"
Dark Pit just sighed.
"I need tips on dating."
Pit took a minute to register what he said, before he bursted out laughing.
"W-what? D-d-dating, TIPS? Ahahaha! For who? Medusa? Ahahahahahahahahaa! No wait! Even better yet, Pandora! We all know how she made the impression on you! Ahahahahahahahaha!"
Dark Pit thought back to that one time, when Pandora was drunk from that one party of the goddesses, where she had too many Drinks of the Gods. She was pretty much trying to get with him the whole time while she was drunk.
"No, it's for this other girl."
"Who? Fangirl? Hee hee!"
Pittoo just waited till he stopped laughing.
"Oh man, you're serious."
"When have I not?"
"OK, um...I'm not good with this, ok, Pizza? Movie? Uh, I saw this one movie with Lady Palutena, I think it was...OH! It was...uh...Super Bash Sisters, wait, no..."
Dark Pit was starting to get annoyed.
"Will you just give me something?"
"Oh! I remember! Angels To Remember!"
"Thank you! I, *gulp*, owe you..."
Pit just laughed out loud again.
"Aw man, a favor too? You really are out of character! Ahahahahahahahaha!"
Dark Pit then just socked him in the jaw after that comment.
Later, at Pittoo's Main Menu:
A doorbell rang, signaling a sigh for Dark Pit.
"Let the torture begin!"
As he opened the door, Mindy caught him in another death hug grip.
"Pittoo! Are you so excited for our date?"
"Not really, let's just get this over with."
Mindy then looked at him with tears in her eyes.
"Sniff...you...don't care? sniff..."
Dark Pit started getting a fearful look in his eye.
"Oh no. Please don't-"
Objects around him were starting to float next to her.
"Don't! I didn't mean it like that! I swear!"
Mindy then opened her eyes that had a green aura within them.
"Pittoo..."
Pittoo just looked at her.
"Uh...are we, you know, cool?"
A plate then flew and smashed itself in Pittoo's face.
"I guess not."
Pittoo then ran out of the room, with Mindy levitating objects around her and chasing him.
"WHERE'S A WEAPON WHEN YOU NEED ONE?"
Suddenly, Dark Pit came to a stop as he saw the wall.
"Why in Hades is there a dead end?"
Mindy then closed in on him, making him a little afraid.
"Great, not only do I have to put up with her when she's out of that psychic state, I'm going to have to pay for everything she broke."
Mindy then floated down to his level, before fainting mid-air.
"Mindy!"
He then realized the objects were starting to fall.
"Oh no."
Pittoo then, in a comical and hilarious way, started trying to catch every single falling object in his hands or on his leg.
"Phew, none of this was broken."
As soon as he said that, Mindy was about to hit the ground.
"Mindy!"
He threw the objects out of his hands and arms to catch Mindy.
Every other object that he threw came down and crashed on the floor.
"Oh-"
"...Those, costed, me, so, many, HEARTS!"
Mindy woke up from the small coma she had.
"Ugh...what?"
Dark Pit just stood up and picked up his wallet.
"I'm going to leave."
"Why?"
"I need to get all the items for my room fixed."
Mindy stood up, holding a large amount of hearts.
"I can help! People have said I'm an excellent room designer!"
"You don't say."
Pittoo started walking away, putting the broken items inside a small bag. Mindy just floated up in the air before screaming to the heavens.
"To the mall!"
Angel Mall:
"Whoa."
Dark Pit was a little amazed at Mindy's destination of choice to restore the broken items.
"Come on! Come on! Let's go!"
The rest of the day was basically Mindy and Dark Pit restoring the items they broke in Pit's room, shopping for miscellaneous things, and Dark Pit holding a large amount of shopping bags for Mindy.
"I knew it! This was torture!"
"Don't frown Pittoo! It's only just a few bags of clothes!"
"For you!"
"Psh, please, I made sure to get at least 2 bags for you too!"
"Oh yes, because I just LOVE to get at least two bags of clothes for myself at this point."
Mindy just chuckled to herself while Dark pit groaned as they left the doors for the Main Menu.
"You know Dark pit, I really had fun today."
"I am not surprised."
"Don't be all 'Dark' on me now, I truly want to do this again some time else."
Dark pit couldn't bring himself to say no.
"If you weren't so darn cute in the way you act, I would have rejected you in a heartbeat. But…fine, you are one of my most valuable stocks for weapons."
Mindy quickly smiled before quickly planting a kiss on his cheek and flying off with some of the bags Pittoo was holding. He was just stunned.
"I am not going to be able to live this down."
Suddenly, his phone rang, where he was shocked to hear what happened on the line.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT ALL THOSE BAGS WERE ON MY CREDIT CARD? Last time I checked, I DIDN'T HAVE ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Pittoo just threw his phone at the ground again, where it broke.
"…MINDY!"
That is all folks! Hope you enjoyed it!
Kono bangumi wa, gurando suponsaa no teikuyou de, ookurishimasu(this story has been sponsored by):
Visit My official website: (remove the spaces)
http: yinyangyoyo .weebly . com
Visit an advanceshipping forum that I am a part of:
http: advancers .proboards / index .cgi