FOREWORD
Okay, honestly this is going to be a sick, sick little fic. Rated R for very grotesque and
macabre scenes that will be appearing in the future.
Installment 1
"Little robot," Gaz asked, "what are you doing here?"
GIR sat on the back doorstep, in the act of steering a gigantic taco into his mouth with
both hands. He looked up at the darkly clad girl standing over him, round blue eyes shining
faintly in the morning glare, mouth agape with a slight bewilderment. "Huh?"
"This is the third time I've caught you here." Her voice was deep for a little girl's. "I've
told you to leave before, but you keep coming back. Why?"
"I'm eatin' a taco!" he crooned, gazing into a saffron shell heaped in meat.
"But why are you doing it at my house?" She scowled, voice growing tight.
"For the furtherment of piggies across the globe!"
"I see," she replied with a dull sarcasm. "Just leave, little robot, leave now. I suppose I
could tell you not to come back, but I don't really suppose it would make any difference." The
lip of an orange sun spilled over the neighbor's roof, cutting a hazy bar across her own and
glinting from the windows.
"Hi, sun!"
The girl crossed her arms. "Leave."
"Hm..." The little robot tapped a single finger to his metal lips, squinting thoughtfully.
"Okay!" He was swung back over his own detached legs, hovering above them, opened his
mouth wide, placing the entire taco in like shoving a letter through a mail slot and then it
disappeared. The robot smiled and wrapped his arms around the unwilling girl's legs. "Thanks
for having me!" Tears began to well in his robotic eyes. "I'll miss you so much!" He cried into
the girl's black dress, gripping her striped stockings with sorrowful hysteria. Something then
caught the corner of GIR's eye. "Dog!" he hissed in a thick and rasping voice and bolted over
the lawn like a rabbit with a feline screech. "Meow!" He was gone in a moment.
"Well, that's over," Gaz stated and walked back inside.
Dib washed his hands in the kitchen sink, its handle toggled with the heat up all the way.
One palm was cupped full of deep green dishwashing liquid wafting a harsh pine scent, the other
gripping the kind of coarse sponge intended for scrubbing pots. He abraded his hands, fervently
working off the reek of decay with the layers of his own skin. It was such a stink. Such a stink.
Dib trembled with the odor alone and kept scrubbing, plunged in the white pillar of heat.
Geez, I was wearing gloves! How does that smell just seep right through? He wrung the
sponge around his fingers. His hands were getting red and splotchy. And what gave me the idea
to mess around with him on a morning when I've got to go to skool? If I keep this up, I'm going
to be the stinky kid instead of Willie! Every once in awhile I'll still get balogna hurled at my
head and-
"Wow, Dib. It stinks in here."
Dib whirled, pouring a handful of searing water over his shirt. He hadn't realized exactly
how hot it was until it touched a part of his skin that hadn't gone numb with cell damage yet.
"Aghh! I- I don't- Gaz, what-"
"Save it, pine boy. Why don't you just use the hand soap like everyone else?" She
closed the kitchen door and walked across the room.
"Oh geez..." Dib let out a breath of relief and propped himself against the counter,
dabbing at his seared fingertips. "Gaz, I-" He looked up for his sister, but she was already gone.
He heard the chime of a Gameslave 2 clicked on in the living room. "Gaz?" She didn't answer.
Dib realized he could barely feel his hands. They looked like half-boiled pork. He held
them up for a deep whiff. They smelled like pine. Good.
There was still another hour before skool started. Dib laid his head on the counter and let
cold water run over his hands. He dragged himself to his room and changed into another T-shirt
exactly like the one he was wearing. Then he was bored.
I don't know why I bothered to get up so early. I guess because I didn't feel like doing it
last night. Geez. I've just got to get this done with. There are other things I could be doing.
"Hey. Whatcha playing?"
"Super Wacky Bloodbath Saga X90: Complete. I went to the store at twelve this
morning to get it the instant it came out. I'm playing the 'Dry Blood Maroon' version, but I had
to get the 'Pink Like Freshly Sliced Flesh Served Up On a Platter' version too because it
includes different kinds of scalpels and branding irons."
"I see. That's nice."
Gaz scowled sidelong at her brother. "Nicer than you could imagine, mortal."
"Uh huh." Dib stared uneasily across the coach, hands sitting in his lap. There was still
another twenty minutes before the bus came. "So... what're you going to do at school today?"
"Play Super Wacky Bloodbath Saga X90: Complete, the 'Dry Blood Maroon' version."
"Can I see?" Dib leaned over his sister's shoulder but was stopped by the sudden
widening of her eyes.
"You can die."
Dib assumed by the glare in her eyes that she probably meant it. He shifted to the
opposite side of the couch, and propped his head up with his hand. He looked up at the clock.
Two minutes had passed. "What-"
"Shut up, Dib."
"Hey-"
"Shut up."
He blinked twice, frowning thoughtfully. He sat a minute in the morning shadows and
watched his sister, thumbs intent with the plastic buttons. The crosspad twirled and there was a
tiny electronic scream.
"You win! Duh duh doo doo pee dwee dah!"
"Hey, Gaz." She growled, but he ignored her. "There's something I want to show you."
"What of yours is worth the occupation of my time?" The was nothing like interest in her
voice, but Dib could see that she was selecting "save".
"You'll see," he said.
"I'll see what, Dib?" she snarled, the Gameslave 2 clutched in one fist.
"You'll see what I have in the basement."
POSTSCRIPT
This is a short chapter, but there'll be more and they should come out fairly quickly. I
have horrible, moosey things planned...
Waffles
Okay, honestly this is going to be a sick, sick little fic. Rated R for very grotesque and
macabre scenes that will be appearing in the future.
Installment 1
"Little robot," Gaz asked, "what are you doing here?"
GIR sat on the back doorstep, in the act of steering a gigantic taco into his mouth with
both hands. He looked up at the darkly clad girl standing over him, round blue eyes shining
faintly in the morning glare, mouth agape with a slight bewilderment. "Huh?"
"This is the third time I've caught you here." Her voice was deep for a little girl's. "I've
told you to leave before, but you keep coming back. Why?"
"I'm eatin' a taco!" he crooned, gazing into a saffron shell heaped in meat.
"But why are you doing it at my house?" She scowled, voice growing tight.
"For the furtherment of piggies across the globe!"
"I see," she replied with a dull sarcasm. "Just leave, little robot, leave now. I suppose I
could tell you not to come back, but I don't really suppose it would make any difference." The
lip of an orange sun spilled over the neighbor's roof, cutting a hazy bar across her own and
glinting from the windows.
"Hi, sun!"
The girl crossed her arms. "Leave."
"Hm..." The little robot tapped a single finger to his metal lips, squinting thoughtfully.
"Okay!" He was swung back over his own detached legs, hovering above them, opened his
mouth wide, placing the entire taco in like shoving a letter through a mail slot and then it
disappeared. The robot smiled and wrapped his arms around the unwilling girl's legs. "Thanks
for having me!" Tears began to well in his robotic eyes. "I'll miss you so much!" He cried into
the girl's black dress, gripping her striped stockings with sorrowful hysteria. Something then
caught the corner of GIR's eye. "Dog!" he hissed in a thick and rasping voice and bolted over
the lawn like a rabbit with a feline screech. "Meow!" He was gone in a moment.
"Well, that's over," Gaz stated and walked back inside.
Dib washed his hands in the kitchen sink, its handle toggled with the heat up all the way.
One palm was cupped full of deep green dishwashing liquid wafting a harsh pine scent, the other
gripping the kind of coarse sponge intended for scrubbing pots. He abraded his hands, fervently
working off the reek of decay with the layers of his own skin. It was such a stink. Such a stink.
Dib trembled with the odor alone and kept scrubbing, plunged in the white pillar of heat.
Geez, I was wearing gloves! How does that smell just seep right through? He wrung the
sponge around his fingers. His hands were getting red and splotchy. And what gave me the idea
to mess around with him on a morning when I've got to go to skool? If I keep this up, I'm going
to be the stinky kid instead of Willie! Every once in awhile I'll still get balogna hurled at my
head and-
"Wow, Dib. It stinks in here."
Dib whirled, pouring a handful of searing water over his shirt. He hadn't realized exactly
how hot it was until it touched a part of his skin that hadn't gone numb with cell damage yet.
"Aghh! I- I don't- Gaz, what-"
"Save it, pine boy. Why don't you just use the hand soap like everyone else?" She
closed the kitchen door and walked across the room.
"Oh geez..." Dib let out a breath of relief and propped himself against the counter,
dabbing at his seared fingertips. "Gaz, I-" He looked up for his sister, but she was already gone.
He heard the chime of a Gameslave 2 clicked on in the living room. "Gaz?" She didn't answer.
Dib realized he could barely feel his hands. They looked like half-boiled pork. He held
them up for a deep whiff. They smelled like pine. Good.
There was still another hour before skool started. Dib laid his head on the counter and let
cold water run over his hands. He dragged himself to his room and changed into another T-shirt
exactly like the one he was wearing. Then he was bored.
I don't know why I bothered to get up so early. I guess because I didn't feel like doing it
last night. Geez. I've just got to get this done with. There are other things I could be doing.
"Hey. Whatcha playing?"
"Super Wacky Bloodbath Saga X90: Complete. I went to the store at twelve this
morning to get it the instant it came out. I'm playing the 'Dry Blood Maroon' version, but I had
to get the 'Pink Like Freshly Sliced Flesh Served Up On a Platter' version too because it
includes different kinds of scalpels and branding irons."
"I see. That's nice."
Gaz scowled sidelong at her brother. "Nicer than you could imagine, mortal."
"Uh huh." Dib stared uneasily across the coach, hands sitting in his lap. There was still
another twenty minutes before the bus came. "So... what're you going to do at school today?"
"Play Super Wacky Bloodbath Saga X90: Complete, the 'Dry Blood Maroon' version."
"Can I see?" Dib leaned over his sister's shoulder but was stopped by the sudden
widening of her eyes.
"You can die."
Dib assumed by the glare in her eyes that she probably meant it. He shifted to the
opposite side of the couch, and propped his head up with his hand. He looked up at the clock.
Two minutes had passed. "What-"
"Shut up, Dib."
"Hey-"
"Shut up."
He blinked twice, frowning thoughtfully. He sat a minute in the morning shadows and
watched his sister, thumbs intent with the plastic buttons. The crosspad twirled and there was a
tiny electronic scream.
"You win! Duh duh doo doo pee dwee dah!"
"Hey, Gaz." She growled, but he ignored her. "There's something I want to show you."
"What of yours is worth the occupation of my time?" The was nothing like interest in her
voice, but Dib could see that she was selecting "save".
"You'll see," he said.
"I'll see what, Dib?" she snarled, the Gameslave 2 clutched in one fist.
"You'll see what I have in the basement."
POSTSCRIPT
This is a short chapter, but there'll be more and they should come out fairly quickly. I
have horrible, moosey things planned...
Waffles