*I do nnot Jane and the Dragon or its characters
Is this different? Yes. Is it weird? Maybe. But I hope you enjoy since this literally was the product of lack of sleep and the Gunther complaining in my head.
Most romantic tales start with the prince and the princess riding into the sunset, therefore receiving their obligatory happily ever after. That is great and all, but it is all a lie. In real life you have to earn your happy ending, I know I am. Boy meets girl, girl has fire breathing Dragon, girl has fire breathing Dragon and a really sharp sword, I think that is hard enough to work with. But that is only the beginning.
You see I had to fall in love with a girl, while very pretty, is the only in her kin to break tradition. Of course I had to fall for the girl who prefers knives over flowers, or who can have my arse burned to a crisp with the snap of her fingers. Who is my girl? The one and only obnoxious while equally attractive, lady knight Jane.
Our courtship consisted of several years of intense bickering, witty banter, and clashing swords. But it was only a matter of time when she noticed that I was right here the whole time, looking at her, having no extra time to get to know anyone else but a bullheaded knight. Now if I had the extra time, I might have fallen for her anyway since our relationship, an overly casual one, was the best thing I ever had. She has her moments like when she glares at me because I happened to forget it was my turn for night watch, or when she hugs me when I wake up from a bad dream.
When it came time to ask her hand, Dragon upon eavesdropping replied "Do you not want the rest of her?"
Of course her parents agreed while she took her sweet time to tell me her reply, but after weeks of asking she eventually accepted. The wedding was a nightmare consisting of cows, chickens, and one really drunk Dragon, I really do not like to talk about it.
Pretty soon she was with child, and of course I would say the wrong thing when I finally noticed. "Are to getting swollen or should I blame it on the pie?"
I have been quite insensitive, and she knows that and accepts me anyway... So
"Gunther who are you talking to?"
"Can you not see the lovely readers are paying attention to me? It is not always about you"
"What are you talking about? Half of this story was about you ranting about me and are you calling me fat?"
You mean I did not actually say that? Looks like you were misinformed readers. Next time we will go over the lovely topic of...
"Really? You are just going to ignore me and talk to your imaginary friends?"
"They are so real, and I can prove it"
"How?"
"If I get more then five reviews then I am positive this is not in my head or that I am losing my mind"
"No, I think you lost it a long time ago"
"When?"
"The day you fell in love with me"
Sorry readers, looks like this is the end of my commentary. I have to go and tell me wife how much she is the light of my life no matter how sarcastic and stubborn she is. Do not forget to review, and no you cannot find out what happens behind the scenes you perverts. Goodbye