Summary: No matter how many times they scream at each other, kick each other out, or claim that they don't need each other…Jesse knows for a fact that he couldn't imagine spending his life without Kurt.

Rating: PG-13 for language.

Word Count: 2,017

I don't know if I can yell any louder.
How many times have I kicked you out of here?
Or said something insulting?

"Fuck you!" He shouted as he grabbed the nearest object, the glass vase he'd given him for their fourth anniversary, and chucked it at the wall. "Get the hell out of my apartment!" The glass shattered against the wall and rained down onto the carpet as both of them frozen in their places, fingers clenched into fists and eyes wide. Jesse couldn't even remember what had started the fight, if there had even been one thing, but somehow they'd ended up face to face screaming at each other and throwing things. His nails were digging into the skin of his palms and he was so frustrated that he could scream, and he could tell that Kurt felt the same way. He was glaring at him as if the mere force of it could kill and Jesse shrunk back under the intensity of the gaze only a bit before perfecting his pokerface and glaring back at him. Neither one of them ever wanted to be the first to back down so they would stand at this standstill for minutes, maybe hours, until at the end of the night one of them would come crawling back to the other as if nothing had ever happened.

But not tonight.

I can be so mean when I want to be.
I am incapable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces.

Kurt just nodded as he turned and left the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him as Jesse sank down to his knees and dragged his palm across his forehead. He hadn't actually wanted him to leave…because he could never be sure that Kurt would come back. He had a tendency to push people away when he needed them the most, this was one of those occasions, and it was his greatest fear that one day he would push too hard and too far and Kurt wouldn't come back. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts before hesitating over the first number on his speed dial, sighing before pocketing the phone and getting down onto his hands and knees to clean up the glass. He winced when it dug into his fingers as he scooped up the shards and chucked them into the garbage can before brushing off his pants and looking around the apartment. It always looked so much more empty after one of their fights, even if technically nothing had changed physically. He sighed heavily and sank down onto the couch as he worried his lower lip between his teeth, not hesitating this time as he pulled out his phone and dialled a familiar number again.

"What did you do this time?"

He rolled his eyes at the sound of his best friends voice on the other end of the phone, sighing heavily as he tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder and started to pace the length of the room. "I love how you always assume that it's my fault, Rach."

"It usually is." Rachel responded dryly from the other end of the phone, the annoyance in her voice clearly evident. "Jesse, I've got twin boys who are biting at my ankles and I have a show in forty five minutes…either spit it out or call Blaine."

"Right. Sorry." He said as he shook his head, constantly forgetting about the fact that Rachel was trying to balance her career on Broadway and her family at the same time. "Well we got into a fight about moving out of New York. Again."

"Jess, you're going to have to budge on that one of these days." Rachel said with a sigh. "You know he doesn't like living right in the city. Why can't you just compromise with him?"

"Because I don't want to." He said petulantly with a pout, sighing when he realized how immature it sounded. "I mean, I love the city. I love everything about it. I love living in Manhattan and hearing the traffic outside and seeing the people on the street corners busking to make a living…" He shrugged even though she couldn't see him. "New York City has always been my home, even when I was away."

"I know that, dear." She said calmly, as if she was talking to a child. It kind of freaked him out, because she was a mother, but when she started talking in that tone he knew that listening was imperative. "Kurt loves New York too; he just doesn't want to live in the hustle and bustle for the rest of his life. He wants to settle down. He's not asking you to give up your Broadway dreams and move out of state, he just doesn't want to live in the epicentre." He heard her sigh and he prepared himself for the berating that was sure to come. "You're almost thirty, Jesse…it's time to start acting like it."

"I know…" He said as he trailed off, continuing to pace the length of the room that had become more familiar than anything else to him, looking around it idly. "I just love my loft, you know? I've lived here for years…it's mine."

"Exactly." Rachel said firmly. "To Kurt, the loft will always be yours. He wants something that you can call "ours" when you talk about it."

Oh. That actually made sense.
…Fuck

How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty.
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest?
But baby I don't mean it.

He called Kurt's phone once, twice, three times…but there's never any answer. It goes straight to voicemail and Jesse wonders if that's because his phone died, or because he's ignoring his calls. He paces all night, waiting for Kurt to come home, and it's only at 10 in the morning that he succumbs to the fatigue sinking into his bones as he slumps down onto the couch and falls asleep. He wakes up when a key turns in the door a few hours later and it slams shut behind the person entering, causing him to nearly fall off the couch in shock when he sees that it's not Kurt who used the spare key to let himself in…but Blaine.

"What are you doing here?" He asked groggily, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, as he takes in Blaine's uncomfortable looking form. "Where is Kurt?"

"He's sleeping off a hangover at my place." Blaine says awkwardly, probably wishing he was anywhere but where he was at the moment. "He told me about the fight…and he said some things when he was drunk…and I thought you should know."

"What did he say?"

"He's going to leave you." Blaine said awkwardly, coughing as he shifted his weight from side to side. "Not today, not even tomorrow…but at some point, he's going to leave. And not because he wants to, but because he's not happy." Blaine sighed again. "He just wants to be happy, Jesse…and all the fighting is making him miserable."

"I know." Jesse said with a sigh, something he seemed to be doing a lot lately, as he ran his fingers through his hair and stood up. "Is he still at your place?"

"Yes." Blaine said with a heavy sigh, flopping down on the couch as he grabbed the remote and flicked it on. "But for the love of god, do not have sex up against my fridge again."

"Sorry." He said with a half-smirk, not really all that sorry at all. "I'll try to restrain myself."

"Right. Of course you will." Blaine said with a scoff, shaking his head. "Jesse?"

"Mhm?" He asked as he turned back towards Blaine, halfway out the door with his jacket in his hands.

"This is your last chance….don't mess it up."

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me.
I can't be without. You're my perfect little punching bag.
And I need you. I'm sorry.

It wasn't a very long drive over to Blaine's apartment, he'd done it many times, but this time seemed so much more…important, than the others. Everything was riding on this conversation. His future happiness as well as Kurt's would be decided in the span of what would probably be a five minute conversation, and the idea of it all being over…of this being the final goodbye…scared the shit out of him. It was funny, he thought to himself, that being confronted with the idea of having to spend forever without Kurt alerted him of how many he did want to spend a future with him. No matter how many times they screamed at each other, or the amount of times Kurt had stormed out of the room after declaring that he hated him, it would always come down to the fact that they loved each other.

And for Jesse, that was enough. He just hoped Kurt would still feel the same.

He slid the key that Blaine had given him through the electronic gate system as he let himself in, waving to Blaine's husband Alexander as he crossed the threshold. Alexander pointed to the guest bedroom and Jesse nodded and thanked him before going inside and closing the doors, ducking down just in case Kurt had something poised and ready to throw at him. He didn't. Jesse's heart broke as he took in the sight of a downtrodden looking Kurt Hummel peering up at him from behind a mountain of pillows, sighing and beckoning him inside.

"I should have known Blaine would have gone to you." Kurt said with a heavy sigh as he moved over in the bed so that Jesse would have room to sit down, obviously too tired and hung-over to yell at him at the moment. "He's a good friend."

"Better than I deserve." Jesse said solemnly, reaching out and taking Kurt's hand in his own as he laced their fingers together. Even after all of these years, after everything they'd been through, even the touch of their fingertips brushing could send a shiver down his spine. That was how he knew that Kurt was the one for him.

"I was being an asshole." He said before Kurt could say anything, turning to look at him as his other hand reached up to cup his cheek. "I was so…set in my ways, that I didn't even listen when you spoke…and I'm very sorry for that. You deserve better."

"I know." Kurt said as he swallowed thickly, a tear running down the side of his cheek. "But I don't want better. I just want you."

"And I'm eternally grateful for that, I am." Jesse said with a nod as he leaned in to wipe the tear away before kissing him gently on the lips, letting the edge of his thumb brush over Kurt's cheek. "I promise to be better. To do better. I've taken you for granted, and I…I'm going to stop doing that." He sighed, hesitating for only half a second before whispering the words that Kurt had been waiting to hear for the past six years that they'd been together. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kurt said as he shook his head, playfully smacking Jesse on the shoulder as he wiped his tears away. "Even if you are a conceited asshole half of the time."

"Oh please." He said with a smirk. "That's what you love the most about me."

"That may be true…" Kurt said as he trailed off, looking up into Jesse's eyes as his tone grew more serious. "But you're not getting out of buying me a new vase, mister. That one you threw against the wall was expensive."

Please. Please don't leave me.
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always going to come right back to this.
Please don't leave me.