Her head was full of thoughts and voices, and Elsa had been forced to stop pacing her bedroom from fear of freezing it over. It was early evening, and she found herself unconsciously tiptoeing over to the guest room, surprising herself when she found herself standing outside the door.
Elsa had been meaning to see her cousin Rapunzel, the one person in the castle who she might be able to talk to, but instead she found herself facing Flynn, who was sitting on his bed polishing his sword.
"Oh, hey Queenie," He sounded surprised. Obviously he hadn't been expecting to see her either.
Elsa hovered awkwardly in the doorway. "Sorry," She said, "I didn't mean to disturb you"
Flynn grinned at her, "Not at all. Punzel took Robbie out for a walk, he has too much energy," He gave a small chuckle, "my fault, I bought him a bag of candy during your speech to keep him quiet. Don't tell her though,"
"Cross my heart," Elsa smiled, then looked at Flynn. She hadn't seen him without the company of Rapunzel before, and it was somewhat strange. She realised she barely knew a thing about him. He was always so full of laughter and sarcasm, but right now he looked so composed and calm. She supposed he must have a serious side too.
"Can i...ask you about something?" She asked hesitantly.
Flynn looked at her curiously for a couple of seconds, then gestured to the seat next to him, and put the items he was holding to the other side. Elsa took the seat next to him gratefully.
"So what's up?" Flynn asked.
Elsa didn't know where to begin. She thought about coming clean entirely about what was troubling her, what had been troubling her for days now. But something told her that wasn't right. So instead, she blurted out, "How did you know that you loved rapunzel?" and then added quickly, "when you first met her, I mean. Like, did you fall in love straight away?"
It felt like such a childish question, and Elsa could feel herself blushing, her hands interlocking nervously.
Flynn raised his eyebrow slightly, then grinned, and leaned back. "It's this kind of talk is it? Ahh, well then. Honestly, no, we didn't fall in love straight away. In fact, the first time I ever saw her she knocked me out with a frying pan!"
Elsa stared at him incredulously, "What!?"
Flynn laughed, "I know, romantic right?"
"But," Elsa looked at him, disbelieving, "But. Why?"
Flynn waved his hand, "a story for another day. But anyway, no it wasn't right away. I it was more gradual. It was just little things, the things that most people would overlook you know, that made me feel something"
"Like what?"
Flynn sighed, and a dreamy look appeared on his face, "It was her innocence, mostly. Like when she first stepped down from the tower, onto the grass. The way her face looked when she did it. She was so excited, so nervous. I had never seen someone who ever got so much joy out of simply being alive. And then she cried when thinking about hurting her mother, the very woman who had locked her away her whole life,"
"But her mother didn't lock her up? Queen Maria is-"
"No, not that mother. I mean the woman who she grew up with. She was so worried about hurting her," he shook his head, "she was so desperate to see the world, so excited. She had been kidnapped and taken away from her parents, and yet she was so innocent and untainted by the world. I mean, I grew up in an orphanage, where beatings and hopelessness were a way of life, so i guess i never really got a chance to be innocent myself. And then seeing Rapunzel so excited about the simplest things, it just kind of changed me, I think."
Flynn seemed to snap out of his daydream, "And the fact that she's drop dead gorgeous and a princess, of course. I wanted a castle, andIi got one." he added with a cheeky grin.
Elsa didn't know what to say. She had had no idea that Flynn was an orphan, just like her and Anna. She thought about what he had said. The little things, the things that other people overlook. What did that mean exactly?
Images of a smile, and a flick of hair, and the sound of a laugh echoed in Elsa's mind,
"So how did you realise that she was the one? That you truly loved her,"
"I just knew. I just looked at her, and it felt like I had known her for years, even though we had only met that same day. I realised that wherever I would go, I wanted her to come. Even if it was just staying in Corona, in the castle and growing old, I didn't care because she would be there with me. Less than 24 hours before that, I would have laughed at the idea of giving up thievery, and settling down. But then I met her, and suddenly it was all i wanted. That's what love is, I guess."
Flynn had a happy, peaceful look on his face, and Elsa felt a small ache in her stomach. Him and Rapunzel were so happy, so perfect for each other. Could she ever have that?
And then, after a few minutes, she said, simply and honestly, the thing that she had known before she came.
"I think I'm in love. But not with the person I'm supposed to be in love with."
Flynn, to her surprise, didn't answer. He didn't gasp, or give her an alarmed look, or tell her she was wrong, and stupid. He didn't even smirk. He just looked at her, with a soft expression, giving none of his thoughts away.
They sat there in silence, listening to the sound of crickets outside, and the sound of voices somewhere downstairs.
"Well," Flynn said eventually, giving Elsa a smile, "They must be something else, if they were able to melt the ice queen's cold heart!"
Elsa paused, feeling disheartened for a second, before Flynn burst out laughing at his own joke, and was soon met with a snowball to the face. Still, he kept grinning, and Elsa was laughing too, at the ridiculousness of Flynn and her talking about love, and the whole stupid situation.
After Flynn had wiped his face clean, with help from Elsa, he spoke again, "You're like the universe's little balancing act, aren't you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Stuff never just happens to you. You have awesome ice powers, yet you had to keep them a secret and isolate yourself because of them. you're the queen, and loved by everyone, but you're running it by yourself, and there are expectations of you. You fall in love, but not with the right person. See where I'm going?"
Elsa nodded glumly. She did see. It had never been simple for her. Everything always had to be so complicated.
"But what do i do?" Elsa asked desperately.
"Hmm," Flynn said thoughtfully, as if she had asked him what he wanted for breakfast, "that's a tough one. I don't know. Love sure is a stupid and complicated thing. The way i see it though, you only have two options"
Elsa bowed her head, feeling her eyes grow teary. "I just don't want to hurt anyone." She whispered, "That's all i ever do. I hurt people, and I mess things up"
To her surprise, Elsa suddenly found herself in Flynn's firm arms, her head against his chest.
"Don't ever say that," He told her softly, his arms around her, "if being married to Rapunzel has taught me anything, it's that there is always good in life, you just have to look for the silver lining. You're in love, Elsa. And it's beautiful, is it not? It's silly and stupid and it makes no sense but it's still beautiful."
Elsa smiled and sniffed into Flynn's jumper.
"And you're one of the most selfless people I've ever met, ice queen, so don't forget that. Whatever anyone does, there is always someone who gets hurt from it, and its ok. If you want my opinion, you should do whatever you want for once, not what is best. People get hurt, and they recover, and then it's just an old feeling. Follow your heart. People should really do that more often"
Elsa wasn't sure how long she stayed in the room with Flynn, ridding herself of the tears that had been trapped inside her for so long. Flynn didn't say anything for a while, he just held her in his arms gently as the tears poured out. Elsa's breathing soon grew steady, and she found her mind wandering to that kiss in the balcony. Was she doing the right thing? Eventually, Flynn tapped her on the shoulder and murmured, "Punzel will be up here soon. I just heard Robbie shout downstairs."
Elsa pulled away from Flynn, and slowly picked herself up, and headed towards the door feeling shaky. She then turned to look at Flynn, who had picked up his sword, and was getting out the polishing equipment. She didn't know what to say to him, as surely there were no possible words that could express how she felt, how incredibly grateful she was for him. He hadn't asked her anything, not who the person was or how it had happened or if she was sure. He had just accepted it like she told it. In the end, she just said, "Thank you,"
Flynn grinned at her and gave a short bow. "Anytime, Queenie,"
And just like that, Elsa knew that he understood her words. "Rapunzel is lucky to have you," she muttered to herself, as she climbed the stairs back up to her bedroom.