Farewell
Disclaimer: I do not own Jey uso or farewell by rihanna. I only own marriana aka nana.
Arthurs note: This is a angsty story so don't like don't read. Hope you guys enjoy!
I couldn't stand the thought of not being by his side anymore but i had to let go. Although my heart couldn't because the pain was unbearable as i picked the phone up to call him.
Where ever your going i wanna go
" Hello," i heard his sweet voice and tears jerks my eye lids. " Jey its me," i barley whispered. " Hey nana whats up," he said in a some what confused voice and i replyed, " can we meet today please before you leave?" I asked like a timid child. " Yeah sure i ain't got much time only a couple hour but where did you wanna meet babe," "Our place." Was all i could get out before my voice broke. He said, "Alright i'll meet you at twevle... I can't wait to see you nana." My heart was slowly breaking, "see you at twevle then." I confided and hung up the phone.
Where ever you are headed can you let me know
I dressed in all black like i was headed to a funeral. The black skinies black tank and pitch black sunglasses made me look so depressing but i couldn't have cared less. I hurried out to my car and started the engine as fast as i could. My time was inching away and i didn't want to waste anymore time that i didn't have. I backed out of my drive way without even so much as looking at the radio i just needed to think about pass mistakes that i couldn't rewrite.
†FlashBack†
Jey and I were the best of friends but i had always knew he wanted more. We hung out all of the time because i was just like one of the guys and even though i tried so hard to turn him away from me it seemed with every attempt he just fell in further. One day it was only us two we sat on the hood of his car and watched the sunset then he finally told me how he felt. " Nana I love you," he said getting straight to the point but i didn't at the moment know how to process those words. " Stop playing around Jey," I said with a giggle , " I'm not," he said and leaned in to kiss me. I moved my head and declared, " No Jey I-I can't," He looked at me as if he were a lost child and argued , " you can't what be with someone who really loves you and wouldn't hurt you and put you down on daily basis. ' Is that it? His voice was filled with an anger i had never heard from him ever. All my relationships were train wrecks and he knew it, all he wanted to do was be my knight in shining armor. The sad thing was that i thought i didn't need one. Tears rolled down my face as I whispered, " I'll walk home." I'd made it halfway across the white sand before i felt Jey's arms force my body to face him and he said , " no we came here together we are leaving together."
When we pulled up to my door he broke the eerie silence, " I'm sorry I said those things but its the -," he started before I interupted. " Its fine Jey don't apologize you were just telling me how you feel and I appericate it. ' Goodnight Jey." I leaned over, gave him a long kiss on the cheek, and made my way to my front door.
†FlashBack over†
That was the last time Jey and I spoke before now. I had found out he was leaving Utah to go somewhere else I hadn't been sure where though and I knew I had to let go of my pride and finally tell him how I really felt about him.
I don't mind catching up i'm on my way
Soon enough I found myself puling into the parking lot of the Sandy Lake beach Jey and I always hung out on back when we spoke to each other. I was at least ten minutes early but i didn't care I just wanted closure and i was so close to getting it i could taste it. Jey pulled up in a spot vetical to mine and got out of his old hoopty. I practically jumped into his arms , "Jey oh my god Jey I missed you so much," He held my tiny body so close to his it was like we were conjoined. "What it is baby girl," He responed as he pulled me away and got a look into my tear stricken eyes.
Just can't take the thought of you miles away
" Why you crying," He questioned sweetly as he wiped the tears from my brown face. " I just haven't seen you in forever and i've missed you so much Jey," the tears just kept rolling and i couldn't help it as hard as i tried. " I'm here now so lets wipe those tears and go find a place to sit on the sand alright," he said and guided me down the sand. We found a spot close enough to the water where our feet could get wet and thats when I knew saying goodbye would be harder than i expected.
And i know your going somewhere to make a better life
We talked breifly about the past and the good memories we could remember but no matter how funny or great the memories were I couldn't help but think he's leaving for good, he going far away to find something someone better than me.
I hope that you find it on the first try
My heart was beating inside my chest but every beat I felt in my throat. 'Maybe if i hadn't been so stuburn and told him that I was crazy about him when I had the chance I wouldn't be here right now and he wouldn't be leaving me,' was all i could think of as Jey went on and on about the good old days. Finally I interupted his chatter and asked , " Where are you going Jey," he looked at me and I looked at him. "Samoa," He stated , " Are coming back?" I asked as nonchalantly as i could and he shook his head no. " What made you want to go," I tried to keep the conversation going as smoothly as possible because that was the only thing stopping me from bursting into tears. " I've never been and giving the fact that i am Samoan i figure that I'd try to retrace my roots, ' you know?" He shrugged " Yeah right um... well i hope you find whatever it is your looking for there."
And even though it kills me that you have to go
I know I'll be sadder if you never hit the road so
Farewell
He looked me innocently in the eyes and asked , " why?" I looked at him confused ," why what," He bit down on his lip hard as if he was trying to conceal a secret that was threating to reveal itsself. " Why didn't you just let me be with you Marriana y-you knew how much I loved you and you knew you felt the same but you still pretended you didn't care, why," my heart almost sunk as memories of that night flooded back into my mind. But I couldn't pretend anymore. " Beacuse I was afraid," I whispered " afraid of what of-," I cut him off once again and snapped. " Of love Jey of anything different than the shit i was used to okay. ' I regret not telling you how I felt, I regret letting walk away and most of all I regret not telling how much I loved you when I had the chance." The tears where jerking again but I swollowed hard and flushed them back where they came from.
Somebodies gonna miss you
Farewell
My head was spinning and I felt like a huge weight was lefted off my shoulders. Jey carressed my face and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. When he pulled away I whispered , " You have to go," He looked at me perplexed and said , "what do you mean?" " I mean you have to go to Samoa and see the rest of your family I don't want to hold you back. ' I want you to live a full happy life," I stated and placed a feathery kiss on his soft lips. " I can do that here with you," he rejected but i dclared softly, " you can't Jey because it will hurt me even more if you don't go and follow your dreams and meet your family in Samoa. ' They are the ones who don't know you, they are the ones who will miss out if you don't go. ' Your a great man Jey and I love you but they need to meet you."
Somebodies gonna wish that you were here
That somebodies me
" You sure," He said shaking his head and I looked in his eyes and said , " positive." I knew I was gonna regret those words but the difference between then and before was that I had closure in the fact that he knew how I felt.
I will write to tell you
whats going on
"Besides we will keep in contact this time but nothing new will be going on anyways," I giggled to lighten the mood but Jey didn't budge. " What time does your flight leave so we can get going," I asked He looked at his watch and said , " yeah um my flight leaves at four and its already two-thirty." He looked at me and sighed.
But you won't miss nothing
but the same old song
We gathered our feelings and made our way to Jey's car. " I wanna drive with you if thats okay," I said timidly, " Thats fine how are you gonna get home though," He questioned. "I'll catch a cab back here," I stated hopping in to the old thing Jey called a car. I looked around the car in a graceful manner and said , " This is... your style," as he entered the car. " I ride slow," He replyed with a smile.
If you don't mind catching up
I'll spend the day telling stories
of a land far away
" So all this today what was it if your just going to let me go again?" Jey asked whole heartidly and I answered , " Honestly I was going to ask you to stay until you told me you were going to Samoa for the first time," " and that makes it easier for you to let go," he questioned. " No but at the same time you know how I feel and even though it may hurt now you'll get over it when you get to where your going because you know in your mind you did everything you could to hold on to the one you love. Which at the end of a long sad day... is all you could do." I said honestly.
But i know your going somewhere
to make a better life
" Your family is waiting and I don't want to be the reason they don't get the chance to meet you, because that would hurt me," I continued. Jey shook his head in understanding and drove for what seemed like forever.
Hope you find it on the first try
By the time we got the airport it was three-twentyfive and I had less than a half an hour to spend with Jey. I helped him unload the little bit of stuff he did have with him and we made our way to terminal. As we walked all i could think was ,' Oh god.'
And even though it kills me
That you have to go i know
I'll be sadder if you never
hit the road
Jey went to talk a woman at the front desk of the terminal and I sat and waited patiently. He finally came to the seating area where I sat and said, " Well the flight has been delayed until four fifteen. 'You alright?" I swollowed the tears pervoking to fall from my eyes and said , " Yeah I just uh... I just need sometime." He huggged me close to his body and kissed my forehead, I was regretting my decision already.
Farewell sombodies gonna miss you
The warmth of his arms was so reasurring but not enough to ease my bruised heart from the decision I made. Jey held me and spoke to me in Samoan I couldn't understand what he was saying but I knew it was comforting. " Jey, are you upset with me," I couldn't help but ask like a helpless child when the clock striked Four.
Farewell somebodies gonna wish that you were here
He looked at me and said ," No, I just didn't expect for you to actually let me go," ," I'm noy letting you go Jey I'm setting you free. ' Free of wondering how I felt about you free to move on knowing that my love for you was real." I said almost breaking into tears but I held back as best I could. "I'm going to miss you Jey I will but you need to experince new things, not old flames." My voice cranked.
Farewell somebodies gonna miss you
" Your not an old flame Marriana you never will be because I'll always love you," He breathe into my brown hair. By that time it had been four'o five and the beating in my throat came back.
Farewell somebodies gonna wish that you were here
That someone is me
It took almost everything in me to speak, " well we only have ten more minutes, ya ready for your flight," " Not with you on my mind the whole time," Jey stated as we stood up and readied our selves emotionally for our perminant separation.
And I'm gonna try to hold it all in
The time had been four ten by the time people started waiting in the line to board the plane and my heart had been slowly breaking. I had put on a brave face, held my tears back and put on a fake smile.
Try to hold back my tears
An all call for a flight to Samoa went off and my knees almost turned into spaghetti. Luckly Jey was holding me close to his body.
So it don't make you stay here
I held my tears because I knew that if I did cry Jey would've stayed and I couldn't let that happen. I had to stay strong.
Ima try to be a big girl now
cause i don't want to be the
reason you don't leave
I wanted to cry , I wanted Jey to wrap his arms around me and tell he'd stay and he'd never leave me. I couldn't do that, I wouldn't let that happen. It was time for me to be a big girl. They had opened the door to board the plane and I held my breath as Jey spoke , " This can't be the end, I won't let it ," and I asked ," What do you mean?" He kissed me one more time ," I'm gonna come back for you one of these days and then you won't have anymore excuses," his words lingered over my lips. " I love you so much Jey if this is meant to be we will find each other again. ' Trust me," I spoke sweetly. He looked me in the eyes and looked him in his and he said ," I love you Marriana, alofa atu." " I love you more," we kissed one last time. As he made his way onto the plane I called , " Jey," he turned and looked hurt and it broke my heart, " I'll find you Jey." I blew him a kiss, he caught it, put it to his heart, and walked onto the plane. " I love you more than you know," I whispered and walked away still concealing my tears.
Farewell
I haled a cad straight home I didn't even feel like going to go pick my car up. I almost felt sick to my stomach and just wanted to go home and cry into my pillows.
Somebodies gonna miss you
When i got home I barley even got through the thruss hold before my knee gave out and I cried. All my memories of Jey seemed to have flooded back into my mind.
Farewell
I knew I made the right desicion in my mind so why did my heart fell so crushed? Why did I long for his touch?
Somebodies gonna miss you
Why was I so hurt? Why did I feel sick to my stomach?
Farewell
I sat on my wood grain floor and cried my eyes out until at least twelve that night. My body shook like an epileptic and I diddn't care.
Somebodies gonna wish that you were here
Sometime through out the night I got myself together and pulled out my old photo album. I turned to the page with all my pictures with and of Jey. They made me smile because they remined me of the good times we had when things were simple. I knew no matter how I tried to hide my true feelings I would always miss Jey, but I knew I could hold on to our memories. Wich ended up being the only thing that kept me from wondering what could have been.
That somebodies me
The End Review Guys Review tell what you all thought should I make a sequel tell me tell me tell me!