Note: this story written in the style of a Chibi-Short and all characters herein are subjected to the Looney-Tunes laws of physics.
Convergence: Dirk and Impmons Road to No-Where
"Well, this is fucking great, we are in the ass-end of no-where and Behemoth has gone… I have no fucking idea where." Yelled Dirk as he put his head in his hands. He was sat on the curb of the long road in the Shirakami-Sanchi forest.
"I blame you, Mr "I only want a piss and the bike isn't going anywhere" and this is just because you didn't want it seeing your dingle dangles." Replied Impmon. "It's a motorbike, it's not exactly going to go and tell all of its pals. Oh well, It ca-"
"Don't you dare say "it can't get any worse than this?" Because we all know that that is the cue for…" a bolt of lightning rang out and a few drops of rain landed on Dirks head "fucknuggets." He sighed before getting up.
"I blame you; you were the one who said "let's go to a nice forest, that's a good place to find inner peace." Said Impmon as he began walking. The tall Beech trees kept the rain off of them somewhat, but it wasn't too much help. After about an hour of walking, they saw a large Pagoda. "What the hell? Did we just wander onto the set of Rocky Horror?" asked Impmon Dirk looked at the Pagoda.
"I am not sure… you want to head in?"
"Fine, but the first guy we see dancing around in a corset and we are out of there." Said Impmon walking up the steps towards the castle. Dirk knocked on the door, but the door opened as he did so. "Well… alright then." Said Impmon.
"Nope, we're going somewhere else." Said Dirk, walking back down the steps.
"Where? There's no-where else." Replied Impmon.
"If we go in there, we are going to be killed." Said Dirk. "It looks like Norman Bates' summer home." He continued walking.
"Aren't you forgetting that I am a big fucking devil. I'm sure that Norm isn't gonna be able to kill us." Said Impmon. Dirk stopped and looked out at the rain, then back at the Pagoda.
"Oh well, if it's haunted, then at least we will have bragging rights." He laughed before turning back and walking through the door with Impmon.
The partners stood in the large front hall; it was pitch black inside, Impmon lit up his finger in order to shed light on it. "You gonna phone home?" asked Dirk. Looking at him. They inspected several rooms; they all looked rather modern, a modern living room, and a modern kitchen. Dirk walked out of the modern bathroom and pulled his fly up. "You may want to light your finger before you go in there." Said Dirk.
"You know what; we need to get you a cork." Said Impmon. Dirk looked at him and laughed, but he saw a strange white creature with a large creepy grin on its face. His jaw dropped and fear gripped him, unable to move. "What's wrong? Bakemon got your tongue?" asked Impmon. Dirks finger rose slowly to point at the creature. Impmon turned around. "Well what do you know? A Bakemon." Said Impmon. Dirks digivice glowed and Impmon became Devimon. "Hey." He said to the Bakemon with a sinister smile. The Bakemon made a face similar to Dirk's and then ran away. "They're wussy mons'" said Devimon.
"WHAT IN THE HOLY HOT HELL WAS THAT?" yelled Dirk.
"Just a Bakemon, they tend to go about in numbers, but you catch one all by itself and it just runs away." Said Devimon.
"Fine, so this castle is haunted by Digimon." Said Dirk.
"Seems so, let's get rid of them before they cause any more trouble." Said Devimon.
"They look like Champions; you'd better become NeoDevimon just in case." Said Dirk.
"DEVIMON DIGIVOLVE TO… NEODEVIMON."
NeoDevimon and Dirk had followed the path of the Bakemon down a hallway until they finally cornered it. NeoDevimon punched his palm a few times. "You hit him high, I'll hit him low." Said NeoDevimon. "Not so tough when you are by yourself are ya?" the Bakemon covered his head with his hands. Then hundreds of Bakemon appeared around them. "Ok, so you ain't by yourself…"
"No he isn't… should we crap our pants now?" asked Dirk.
"nope." Said NeoDevimon. A small light began to glow in the darkness and then all of the Bakemon opened their mouths for a surround-sound chorus.
"BAKEMON DIGIVOLVE TO… SKULLMERAMON!" the SkullMeramon dropped down and looked at the pair.
"Now, now is a good time to crap your pants." Said NeoDevimon.
"Why aren't you?" asked Dirk.
"Because I don't have any bowels." Said NeoDevimon.
"METAL FIREBALL!" yelled the SkullMeramon in unison. Outside of the Pagoda, smoke exploded from the windows. But back with the duo, they were both covered in soot; Dirk exhaled a big cloud of smoke.
"Ow." He said.
"That will teach you to pick on my friends." Said a voice. Dirk and NeoDevimon shook off the soot and looked to see a small boy with a smaller digivice standing and looking at them. He could have been much older than 8
"These guys friends of yours?" asked Dirk.
"They are my partners, we live here carefree, until people like you show up." Said the boy
"Well, I have one hell of a story to tell you." Said Dirk.
"-and that's out story" Dirk and Impmon finished the story just as a Bakemon gave them each a cup of tea.
"interesting." Said the boy.
"so… what's your name?" asked Dirk.
"Cooper, Cooper Shelling." Said the boy. "so what is it that you want?" asked Cooper.
"just a place to crash until the rain dies down." Said Dirk.
"that can be arranged." Said Cooper. A Bakemon floated over to him. "can you show them to a room please." Said Cooper.
"sure thing boss." Hissed the Ghost.
The next day, Dirk and Impmon walked down the steps and waved goodbye to Cooper. "thanks for the room." He said.
"alright, you come back sometime." Said Cooper.
"we will." Replied Impmon. The two began walking down the road when suddenly the roar of a motorcycle engine was heard. They looked behind themselves to see Behemoth come speeding towards them before stopping.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" asked Dirk. He looked on the windscreen and saw a pair of red lipstick marks and a packet of cigarettes on the dashboard. "you know what, I don't want to know." He mounted the bike and pulled Impmon on. He put on his sunglasses and sped off.