Disclaimer: I neither own this comic piece of crudeness/lewdness,
but it's funny to me; owned by Mac T. Just passing it on for people who
want to laugh or frown upon it. Rated PG for comic insanity. I'll try to
post the prequel, The Confused, as soon as I can find it.--M.C.
The Money Circles
By Mac
--------------------------------
Visser 3 finally put up all of the decorations
for his party. He had been working all night.
Plus, he had to skip nap time! Great, now he's
going to be cranky at his guests all day!
And he just HAD to act cool for the now congested,
tag playing, comic reading, pillow sniffing, overweight, kilt wearing Chinese
hippie kangaroo person named Dan!
THIS ISN'T GONNA BE A VERY GOOD DAY… IT MIGHT
EVEN BE BAD! Visser 3 thought, as he sat on his ducky fabric sofa.
He turned on his tube to watch Blue's Clues,
his favorite show.
Hey, why don't we make it a Slumber Party?
That would be fun… I see it! There's a clue, Steve!>
As Visser 3 got educated by television, the
Fractions decided it would be a good idea for them to look good in front
of company. They began to give themselves makeovers.
The Pork-of-Steers sighed. They've always contradicted
the Fractions. Giving each other makeovers, talking on the phone, painting
their claws with nail polish, always giggling and sharing secrets. Ugh!
Who would like that?
A Pork-of-Steer smiled. "I think I like that
Author…"
The Author jumped into the scene with 50 ninjas,
and quickly killed the Pork-of-Steer for… liking him…
Visser 3 got up when the show was over. That
Blue is something… Hey! Doesn't this part of the story have to be over?
After that ninja thing->
The Author wrote frantically. "Sorry! Just
a second…"
***
Jake looked at Dan. "Dan, is something wrong?
You look different…"
"Jake, that whacked Author made me a now congested,
tag playing, comic reading, pillow sniffing, over weight, kilt wearing
Chinese hippie kangaroo person! I'm sure I look different!"
"I think you look cute…"
"Marco, you're gay!"
Marco sighed and went to see what Tobias was
doing. Marco found him playing House with the girls.
"Wouldja like some mo' tea, Mrs. Kingston?"
Cassie asked Tobias in a southern accent.
Grape tea, please!>
"Okay!"
Rachel tapped Tobias on his back. "Mrs. Kingston,
how do you like my new Australian accent? I bought it myself…"
Marco came up to them and cleared his voice.
"Can I play?"
Everyone had a mean look on their face.
"Marco, you're gay!" Then, they resumed playing
their game.
Marco went over to Debbie and Ax. They were
playing Old Maid.
"Can I-"
"Marco, you're gay!"
Marco, you're gay!>
Marco began to cry. He wasn't gay! He climbed
into the closet and was never seen again.
Suddenly, Marco woke up. He had a dream! He
really wasn't gay!
He looked around. He was in a closet.
"Oh my gosh!" Marco ran out of the closet.
But there was one problem.
He was in Taco Bell completely naked! Everyone
started to laugh and laugh and laugh…
Suddenly, he woke up again! He looked around
to see where he was.
He was in the barn with hay on top of him.
I HOPE THIS ISN'T A DREAM EITHER… he thought.
He climbed out of the hay and looked around
again.
He was surrounded by Star Wars characters!
Leia came up to him. "Marco! Come on! We're
going to Visser 3's party!"
Marco looked at Luke, Darth Vader, Leia, Yoda,
C3PO, R2D2, and Tinky-Winky.
"Wait a minute! Did the narrator just say,
Tinky-Winky? As in the gay Teletubby?" Marco asked.
Debbie zipped her purse and adjusted her purple
upside-down triangle. "There were no more Star Wars costumes."
"Who am I?"
Jake, in the Luke Skywalker costume, handed
him his costume. "You're Han Solo! Don't you remember?"
How can anyone remember anything after
they ate too many Rice Crispy Treats, barfed, and knocked themselves out?>
Ax asked, in the Yoda costume.
Shrugging, Marco got undressed in front of
everyone, and put on his costume. Debbie, the giant Teletubby, kept staring
at him.
"Can we go now? I'm getting hot!" Dan whined,
in the C3PO costume.
"What kind of party is it?" Marco asked.
"It's a Star Wars costume/Slumber Party. Now,
let's go!"
Everyone walked out of the barn and grabbed
a taxi.
As they walked to the party with the taxi they
grabbed, Tobias poked his head out of his R2D2 costume.
Boy, it IS hot in these costumes!>
He then screamed in his hawk form for 4-and-a-half
hours and dived into a manhole.
"That was strange…" Debbie said as she stared
at the manhole. "Even stranger than me!"
Tobias climbed out of the manhole in his human
form. "I'm okay!"
They continued walking with the taxi.
A hole opened in the sky and a giant Gummi
bear fell on Cassie. The bear started to sing opera, but then it flew away.
They continued walking…
***
Visser 3 was fidgety.
When will those Animorphs get here?!?>
He tried to cool himself down with a song before he ate his fur.
This ole man, he played one! He played
knick-knack on my thumb…>
***
This ole…man! He played… 8 million something…he
played that…annoying game on my…something that rhymes with something…>
Visser 3 died.
A Pork-of-Steer came up and recharged his batteries.
Visser 3 woke up and started to do the Macarena.
A dozen Pork-of-Steers saw him and began to
dance with him.
After 2 hours of dancing, the visser heard
a knock on the door.
THEY'RE HERE!> Visser 3 yelled at the top
of his…thought-speak.
The-Pork-of-Steers ran away giggling because…
well, they kind of thought… the Chinese hippie is cute…
The Fractions exploded out of excitement, literally,
which permanently messed up their makeovers.
Visser 3 pulled on his costume, an ewok, and
ran to the door.
He opened the door and-
***
Ax knocked on Visser 3's front door.
The door opened.
"Oh my god! It's an EWOK!!!!" Rachel charged
at Visser 3 with Debbie, the all-known Teletubby.
Visser 3 ducked out of the way, just in time
to be rammed.
What are you doing! I though you were my
friends!>
"Rachel, stop! It's Visser 3 in his costume!"
Jake called out, as he watched Rachel get back up.
Marco took a microwave out of his pocket and
threw it at Rachel.
Fortunately, it missed Rachel-
Jake stopped the narrator. The microwave hung
in mid-air. "What do you mean, fortunately? That could've gotten her to
stop!"
You didn't let me finish!
Fortunately, it missed Rachel and hit Debbie.
"Oh. Never mind…"
Debbie rubbed her nose. "Ow! My nose hurts
when I touch it!"
The Author tapped his foot. "Then don't touch
it!"
Guess what? Debbie screamed for 5 hours straight
for absolutely no reason at all.
Why is everyone screaming in these stories?>
Visser 3 asked.
Comic relief,> Tobias replied, looking
at Debbie's bruised, disgusting, gory, bloody, decapitated, retarded, inside
out, dented-in nose.
Did you have to put that way?!?> Ax asked,
throwing up through his hooves.
"Rachel, say you're sorry!" Jake demanded.
Rachel turned and faced Visser 3 and apologized.
Cassie walked through the door. "Well, I'm
glad that's over!"
"But what about me?" Debbie asked, pointing
to her nose.
Dan came up and kissed her… on the cheek.
Debbie suddenly fainted.
"That should keep her quiet." Dan started to
gag. "Where's your toilet?"
Dan ran in the house, in search of a bathroom.
"What's wrong with him?" Cassie asked, stuffing
her face with brownies as the rest of the Animorphs came in, dragging Debbie.
"He kissed Debbie," Marco told her, dropping
Debbie on the floor next to the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger.
Cassie shuddered.
Okay, who wants to play Hide 'n Go Seek
or something?> Visser 3 asked, putting up the Disco Ball.
"All right," Jake said, "but can we take off
these tacky costumes now? Tobias looks like he's ready to explode, since
he's so hot."
Dan came down the stairs, holding his stomach.
"Can we take off these costumes off yet? I
barfed all over the inside of mine."
All right, all right. You can take them
off.>
"Visser 3, got any milk?" Cassie asked, with
brownies all over her face.
In the refrigerator.>
When Cassie came out of the kitchen, she saw
everybody trying to kiss their elbows.
"Uhh, Visser 3, you're out of--"
That's when Cassie saw the giant Gummi bear
standing next to the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger.
And he was drinking a carton of milk.
Cassie stared dreamily at the milk drinking
bear.
The bear finished the carton of milk, burped,
and said in a sexy voice, "got milk?"
He did an Irish jig and then whacked the Onakimelator-Thinga-ma-Jigger
with a cartoon frying pan.
Cassie was fuming. "That's it! No bear is gonna
drink all the milk and leave none for me!"
She charged at the Gummi bear full of cow juice,
head-first.
The Money Circles
By: M. C