Iridescent
I stared out of the train windows, watching the greenery pass me by. This was a high speed Capitol train, averaging 250 miles per hour. I glanced hopefully at the approaching mountains that used to be called Appalachia, taking this as a sign we were nearing District Twelve.
I had been kept in the Capitol for three months after Katniss shot President Coin. I was being treated for my burns, yes, but mostly for hijacking treatment. Dr. Aurelius used all different kinds of methods for my therapy but most of it was me writing letters to everyone I knew, even people who had passed away during the course of the war. The majority of them were to Katniss, however the mood of them changed with the day.
"Dear Katniss,
I love and miss you. I hope I'm coming back soon.
Yours always,
Peeta."
"Katniss,
You are an evil mutt! How could you kill all those people?
I loathe you,
Peeta."
Dr. Aurelius was still impressed by my progress though. We played Real or Not Real everyday. Sometimes, he would show me footage of the Games and how Katniss saved my life on many occasions. He did tell me to avoid Katniss on days when I was feeling low to ensure her safety. I still hadn't sorted out my feelings for her. I'm constantly drawn to her, and let's admit it, she plagues my thoughts all day. Whether they are of me holding and kissing her and telling her how much she means to me, or I am wringing her neck, I still think of her. She means a lot to me, real or not real? Most certainly real.
My ponderings were interrupted when the train came to a stop. I grabbed my small amount of luggage and stepped off.
I was in the Victor's Village. The houses were still sturdy, being the only place untouched by the bombs. I noticed Haymitch's house, still with an abandoned air to it, and one down from his was Katniss's. The window was open and I saw her, on her rocking chair, gazing out at the woods. I felt a pang of sadness. Why was she living like that? Cooped up in a house when she is most alive outdoors? I had to remind myself I didn't care anymore.
I turned the doorknob of my house and stepped inside. It was the exact way I left it before the Quarter Quell. My leather shoes just outside the front door and my jacket hung on a hanger made of brass. Unfortunately, my jacket smelled just like Katniss – pine and flowers- from all those times I held her. I made a mental note to wash it as soon as I could.
I walked up the stairs to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. I collapsed on my bed, tired, but knowing I would not get a wink of sleep due to my entourage of nightmares. Night was usually the time that the venom overtook me. My dreams were plagued with horrifying images that were not real. Tonight was no exception.
Katniss and I were standing in my bedroom. Her hands were on my hips, my arms slung on her neck, caressing her. We were kissing desperately, our tongues exploring each others mouths as the kisses deepened. She began tugging at the waistband of my pants and I was about to unbutton her shirt when she stuck a knife to my throat. I keeled over and fell on the floor. Dead.
Not real. Not real. Not real. Not real. Those two words were all I could think of when I came to, paralyzed with terror. My eyes were wide open and tears were rimming my pupils. I was sweating like a pig and I headed down the stairs to my art room. Before I knew it, I was armed with a paintbrush and paper and began to create a picture. Of Katniss. In this picture, she was not a ravaging mutt bent on killing me. She was not evil. She was not a mockingjay. She was iridescent in a beautiful flaming dress.