Set at the ending of season 3
"It was like drowning, only from the inside out." ― Stephen King
She's drowning, unable to breathe, her lungs compressed as she tries to gasp for air, and she's kicking and screaming- she won't go down without a fight. But it feels like every time she almost drowns, her fights grow more and more futile and she sinks a little deeper into the deep blue of it all.
It's all blue, she thinks absentmindedly, too blue, too much like having been underwater when her parents died. Too blue and too hard to breathe; too many thoughts and too many feelings and just too damn blue, but she can't look away. Can't look away from him, can't look away from his too blue eyes; and she's drowning.
It's the same blue, his eyes and the water, drowning, death and loss, and it's ironic how that same exact shade of drowning and loss, death and everything she fears shows her how to live, makes her want to live and love and overcome her fears no matter what happens, no matter how many times she might have drowned again in her near future. It, that blue, he, somehow became a blessing to her instead of the curse she's always marked him off to be.
He makes her alive. That seems like all she can think about as she's drowning; Damon, and the undeniable way he makes her feel alive, makes her feel at all. He's all she thinks about as the all too familiar blue encompasses her, all she thinks about as she's trying to free herself, trying to help Matt. She thinks about him as Stefan is swimming away with Matt, thinks about the way his blue eyes will be ablaze with anger when he finds out, thinks about how he will curse her for dying, for giving up, for not being strong enough.
She thinks about him as she's losing sight of the blue, losing consciousness, thinks that he will be angry at himself and blame himself for not saving her, blame Stefan for listening to her wishes, and she hopes that one day he'll forgive her for this, for giving up, for dying.
She pictures that shade of blue of his eyes, pictures the love in his gaze as she slips away. She's drowning and she's thinking about him, thinking about blue eyes and life and living when she falls away into the blue of the pressing water.
She's still thinking about him when her eyes open again.