Title: Chuck's Failed Attempts at Getting Some
Pairing: ChuckGeoffrey
Summary: Not all attempts at having homo sex are successful. This is a very, very sad thing. Especially for Chuck.
Note: This is my frist try at Strangers with Candy fanfiction, and it was written for my friend Emily as a Christmas present. 3 Also, I think it is really lame that there is no SwC section here on The Pit. Oh well. We are just too cool I guess. P
Sometimes, Chuck likes to bring Geoffrey home with him. His wife is conveniently never there when he decides to do this, so he is, of course, conveniently never caught.
Except for when he almost is.
From the minute they enter Chuck's house, clothes are being ripped off and thrown about the house. A shirt rips through the air, almost knocking over a lamp, pants drape themselves over a chair, socks get caught up on the curtain rod. Neither man knows exactly how that last one happened, but they don't dwell on it, as they are too busy dwelling on certain other activities.
By the time they finally reach a bed (unlike the last few times, they actually make it to Chuck's room), the entire front of the house, plus the stairs, has been decorated with an assortment of clothing.
Chuck pushes Geoffrey down into the sheets, kissing him fiercely. Geoffrey kisses back, Chuck tangles his hands in Geoffrey's hair, and before the two can become completely lost in themselves, they hear the 'click' of the downstairs door opening.
"Shit!" Chuck yells, jumping up quickly and managing to effectively knock Geoffrey off the bed. "Get off the floor, stupid, we have to get out of here!" He pauses for a moment. "Well, I don't. I live here. With my wife. You don't."
Geoffrey gets up and glares at Chuck. "I can't just leave here naked, you know. People might faint over my gorgeous body, and I don't want to deal with bodies littering the streets."
Chuck stares at him.
Geoffrey stares back.
Chuck realises that whoever opened the front door is probably already inside the house, and he also realises that this means they may have seen the clothes that he is just now realising are all over the house. Well shit.
After putting some pants on and shoving Geoffrey under the bed ("It is DARK under here!" "Just shut up and hide!"), Chuck heads downstairs. He looks at the door, which is still open, and then he looks around.
"Hello?"
Silence.
"Helloooo?"
More silence.
"Goddamnit, I said hello so answer me!"
Still nothing.
After about a minute of yelling from the stairs, Chuck realises that no, that woman he lives with did not come home, and no, nobody else came into the house either. The door just blew open. Imagine that.
Chuck storms back into his room. "Stupid door, I'll bet it did that on purpose..." He sits on his bed and sulks. Or at least he tries to, but he is rudely interrupted by a cry of, "The darkness is CRUSHING ME!" from Geoffrey and he realises that he is still under the bed. Oops.
Seeing as Geoffrey is far too traumatized by his time under the dark, scary bed, all hope of Chuck getting any is completely lost and the two gather their clothing back up.
A few days later, over dinner, Claire turns to Chuck and asks him why he put his socks on the curtain rod.
He just bangs his head on the table.