Title: All Comes Down to Math
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: Olivia and Will make plans for how they're going to deal with the event of the century … taking Noah to the new Star Wars movie. This is a three-shot set in the Olivia/Will/Noah AU series of stories. It's a stand alone.
Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. My stories are not EO and never will be. You may want to read some of my other ones for context on the characters in this AU first - though, it's likely fairly self-explanatory on its own too.
Will sighed, resting his forehead against his palm while he stared at his dead browser on the completely overloaded internet site.
"How did you get the tickets?" he muttered into the phone.
He wasn't entirely sure he believed his computer illiterate father had actually be able to secure tickets to Star Wars: The Force Awakens. But, of course, it would be him who did. Out of all the people he had trying – it had to be him. And, of course, there was no one there to help him with it now that he seemingly had them. It was like the dog who caught the car. He didn't have a clue what the fuck to do with them now that he had them. Apparently.
"Well, I just clicked the damn button like you said, son," Ted gruffed at him.
"And you're sure you have the tickets," Will said, hitting refresh again on his screen. Not that it was helping at all. Him and the entire fucking planet were hitting refresh. But, of course, his father lived on some other fucking planet – or at least a fucking dimension – so the site wasn't down on his computer. "You can see the website on your computer screen?"
"I see some damn Star Wars thing on the computer screen," Ted barked.
Will rolled his eyes and glanced over at where Liv was sitting on the couch. He knew she could only hear his end of the conversation – but that's all she needed to know what was going on, and exactly how he was feeling. She'd told him not to ask his parents to try for them. That it'd only create headaches in what was going to be a headache. But he just so, so, so wanted to take Noah to this movie on opening weekend. It'd be an event. Something they'd share. Something they'd remember forever. He needed these tickets.
She just cast him a knowing smile at his frustration, though. Because what exactly was she supposed to say? She didn't even bother trying to say anything. She just went back to looking at her phone. He was pretty sure she'd long ago given up trying to access the site and was now dealing with work email and files. Getting in some phone time before they took their mandate no-screens period. Well, except for the television. No-screens period mostly just meant they shifted from gazing at their individual electronics to fighting over what they'd watch while sitting on the couch. But at least it was time together.
He doubted Liv was overly heartbroken that it didn't look like they'd be getting tickets to the show anyways. They rarely took Noah to the movies since he got sick and when they did they often wait until it'd been out weeks or longer and picked a time where the theater wasn't going to be packed. This was going to be a complete fucking gong show. It wouldn't be her first choice of a way to spend time with their son – even in the best of times. And, no matter how excited her and Noah got, she just couldn't seemed to really see what was so worth getting worked up about about the new movie. It was like she hadn't even watched the trailer! Which he knew was an impossibility. Because he was pretty sure that Noah was watching it about ten times a day at that point. The release couldn't come soon enough.
"Well, for most people the website is down, Dad," Will provided. "The demand for the tickets crashed it."
"Do you need me to come over and show you how to use a computer, William?" Ted put back to him. "I know what I'm seeing and I'm on the Star Wars site. Plain as day."
"OK, Dad, how'd you get the tickets?" Will asked, still skeptical that this could actually be happening. At the rate it was going, there was no way his dad was going to get them anyways. They'd be gone before he got through checkout. Or the site would buffer or crash when he tried to.
"Well, first you take the mouse thing," Ted monotoned into the phone in the repeated step-by-step instructions Will had had to give him over the years to get him to be able to operate their laptop. "And you go up to the type bar thing and click in it and then you type h-t-t-p …"
"Dad! Don't do that!" Will protested as he heard the harsh one-fingered typing pounding on the keyboard.
"I'm telling you how to get the tickets," Ted pushed back.
"No," Will said flustered. "OK. Let's just assume you have the tickets."
"I have the tickets, William!" Ted put back to him annoyed.
"OK," Will sighed. "Fine. Would you please just buy them before you get booted from the site too."
"Why would I get booted from the site? I'm not doing nothing wrong here. Got a right to be here like everyone else."
"People are getting booted from the site because too many people are trying to access the site, Dad," he tried to explain in simple terms. "There's not enough room for everyone. So I need you to buy the tickets before you lose the tickets. Please."
Ted was silent for a moment and then allowed. "How do I do that?"
"I thought you said you clicked the button," Will said, pinching the bridge of his nose and beating on his enter key to try to vainly reload yet again.
"I did," Ted agreed.
"So, enter you're credit card information, Dad," Will sighed.
"I'm not giving the damn Internet my credit card! Do you know what happens to idiots who do that?"
Will rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Olivia will quick ass of anyone who tries to steal your identity. I promise," he mumbled at his father and then to himself, "Of course, out of all the people who survive the crash, it's people like him."
It was like it was planned that way. Just perfect.
And then to make matters even more perfect, he started to hear his mother in the background attempting to instruct his father on how to use the computer and the Internet – when he wasn't sure who was the most computer illiterate of the two of them. But May definitely had click-happy fingers and was great at getting into all sorts of things she wasn't supposed to online.
"No," Will moaned and then moaned louder. "NO, MOM! …. Don't touch the 'thingie'!" he near yelled into the phone.
It was too late. A heavy silence hung in his hear. For a moment he thought he was about to get a lecture from his elderly father about how he talked to them and about yelling on the phone. But instead he got … "Umm … Willie … I think we closed the Internet box."
Will blew out his exasperation through pursed lips, trying to calm himself. This was more stressful than just trying to get the tickets himself and looking at the dead screen. Liv was right. He shouldn't have involved them. What the hell was he thinking?
"Just a sec," Ted muttered into the phone. "I'll get it jump started again. I've just got to -"
"You aren't going to be able to open it again," Will muttered.
"Hmm," Ted pressed into the phone. Will could feel his brow creasing in the next borough. "It says the www-thing doesn't work."
"Because the website is overloaded, Dad," Will said heavily. "You had tickets. Now ... you don't have tickets."
"I didn't have tickets," Ted argued gruffly.
"You had tickets in your shopping cart," Will provided.
"Shopping cart? We aren't at the Walmart, Willie. We're at the laptop." Then in his turn to yell into the phone, Will got hollered into his ear: "MAY! MAY! He says we can get them at the Walmart. Want to go for a drive?"
"You can't get them at Walmart," Will said, trying to keep calm. To be patient. But he wasn't really feeling calm or patient. He was just feeling annoyed. He wanted to hang up. But it was his parents. He couldn't really just do that. Not at his age.
"Target?" Ted suggested instead. "Oh, you know what, son? I think the gas station sells those movie gift cards now. Damn, boy, why didn't you say that in the first place. Save us all this mumbo jumbo."
He was starting to feel like he was going to pull out his hair. Or at least like he was going to be grey by the end of this conversation. "You can't go to the movie with gift cards."
"Sure you can," Ted countered. "We got all the grandkids those gift cards for their stockings at Christmas. Remember? May, what movie did Noey say he went to with that gift card we got him?"
"The dinosaur one," May said off in the background. Will could tell she'd wandered off into the kitchen. Close enough to still participate in the conversation but far enough away to do her thing in her favorite place. Make food. Force feed his father.
"The dinosaur one," Ted mirrored like Will hadn't heard.
"Jurassic World," Will muttered.
"Whatever," Ted said. "So we'll get Noey some gift cards for ya the next time we're out filling up the tank."
Will sighed and shook his head. "OK, sure, Dad," he conceded. "You get Noah some movie gift cards. I'm sure he'll appreciate that."
And he would. But it wouldn't get them any closer to seeing Star Wars anywhere near opening weekend. Likely not in December at all. Maybe not even in January. Who knew when they'd find a show that wasn't sold out. They might have to drive out to the boondocks somewhere to see it instead.
"Damn movie doesn't come out until Christmas anyways," Ted spat at him when he'd apparently heard his condescending disappointment. "Why are you buying tickets in October?"
"It's fine, Dad," Will said evenly. "Gift cards in stockings sound great. Look … I'm going to get going now ... Thanks for trying. Say bye to Mom for me. Night."
He hung up and heavily put down his phone, gazing at his computer screen and again hitting refresh. Still nothing. He sighed and looked over to Liv on the couch.
"So ... ?" she put to him teasingly. He could see the twinkling amusement in her eyes even from where he was sitting. She was getting a good laugh out of this. Figures.
"So ... my family does not know how to use a computer. We didn't get tickets," he allowed but then shook his head, trying to draw himself out of his funk. "It doesn't matter. It's going to be a complete gong show opening weekend. I'll take him when the crowds thin out."
Olivia nodded but stood and stretched. "Likely a good idea," she agreed.
He released a long exhale, his shoulders slumping with it. "Yeah … for the best," he tried to convince himself.
Fewer germs. Fewer people. Not as late of night. Lots of reasons not to take a nine-year-old to opening weekend.
Olivia slowly wandered over and gave his shoulders a little massage. He let out a more relaxed sigh at the feel of it and tried to enjoy the motion, casting a smile up at her. But she leaned over him and set her phone on the desk.
"So, I guess I'll just put these up on eBay or something then?" she whispered into his ear.
He glanced down at the phone and went bug-eyed, snatching it up and giving it a closer examination. His fingers swiping around the screen.
"YOU GOT THEM?" he really did nearly scream at her. Probably like a 12-year-old at a Taylor Swift concert. She just smiled and shrugged at him. "And you let me go through that with my dad?"
She smiled more broadly. "Well, that was pretty amusing to listen to," she said.
He let out an annoyed huff but a smile just kept pulling at his face. He shook his head and gazed at her. She looked so fucking unbelievably hot in that moment. Like everything that made her sexy and incredible and this amazing wife and friend and mother was just exemplified about 100x in that moment – but this simple little thing. And all he could think was …
"How do you feel about fucking right here, right now?" he blurted out. He wasn't entirely sure he'd meant to. He'd taken himself a bit off guard and he must've her too because she let out a laugh.
But she reached and stroked his cheek, bending in to give him a kiss. "Hmm …" she allowed as she broke it. "I might be convinced. Also long as there aren't any light sabers—"
"What about mine?" Will wagged an eyebrow at her.
She gave him a little whack in the center of the chest but still smiled at him. "OK," she allowed. "As long as I don't have to endure the Imperial March."
"How about the theme song?" Will suggested.
She gazed at him and smiled a bit more wildly. "A New Hope?"
He grinned at her. A New Hope was so fucking right.
He stood and kissed her even more deeply, wrapping his arms around her. She let him, joining in.
"You're so sexy when you talk nerd," he told her when they finally did come up for some air.
She shook her head and tucked some hair behind her ear – but there was still a grin. "It doesn't make me feel very sexy," she provided.
He moved his mouth to her neck – getting that spot she liked sucked at so much and she made an involuntary sound that clearly indicated her approval.
"Oh, it's definitely sexy," Will mumbled against her, kissing up her soft skin. "I've got the best wife on the planet."
"Mmm…," Liv moaned and pulled away from him slightly, giving him firm teasing eyes. "Not the galaxy?"
He smiled. "My bad," he admitted. "Definitely not just the planet – the galaxy. Even the ones far, far away."
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
For the SVU readers who've been asking about it, I'm a little stuck with Welcome Home. I know where it's going and its long ago mapped out. But the next few chapters I need to get through in it have tripped me up so that's why it's been a bit stagnant for a while.
Also, just saying … posting anonymous 'reviews' bashing the fact I haven't updated it and spamming my PM inbox with requests does little to motivate me to write more.
It's a freebie medium and it's done as a pastime. Things get updated as they get updated. And, honestly, I've lost some interest in the series during S16 and so far S17, so that has implications for keeping up with the series too. Also, I've been writing these characters a long time. I have fun with it and I miss playing with the characters —but when updating the story starts to feel more like work than a pastime, there's a problem. I tend to write what I enjoy and what comes easily at the time.
But for the SVU readers of WH/HG series, I've posted a O/S entitled Elevator that might help you get a small fix from that AU.
And, anyone who enjoys my style of writing — rather than caring which particular story that's getting updated — I do have two Chicago PD stories on the go right now too. They deal with similar themes and use a similar style of narration. So, please check them out too.
Thanks to the dedicated readers who do read and review or share thoughts and ideas. It is that kind of feedback that does keep me interested in continuing with the stories.