A/N This is my first fanfic, so I hope you like it! I plan to write several chapters, so let me know if I should keep going. And I DON'T own the boys, if I did, there'd be no need for this fanfic
Louis' POV
I stared at the newspaper, feeling void of everything. I didn't even feel hurt. I guess, after so long, I'd just got used to the pain. The headline read "Harry Styles' new woman?" I knew it was probably true. Although Harry hadn't told us, I knew him. He was such a womaniser. He never told us, because as soon as he did he'd be on to the next one. Besides, none of us approved of it. We told him to care. We'd only ever met a few of Harry's girlfriends, and that didn't bug me too much. I mean, at least I wouldn't have to see him acting towards them as I wished he would act towards me. But the newspapers made sure I got it rubbed in my face as much as possible. And, as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop reading them.
Let's clarify things. I, Louis Tomlinson, am in love with Harry Styles. Many of the fans suspect it, but Harry always laughs it off when it's mentioned, so I try to do the same. It kills me inside though. I knew since we first met at the XFactor. Up until then, I'd been privately questioning my sexuality, but it was Harry who made me realise. I fell utterly and completely in love with him, and have felt that way ever since. No one knows. Who's there to tell? Harry's my best friend, and if I came out to him, I'd have to tell him everything. I'm just not ready yet, and don't think I ever will be. I know he'll shun me. For the first few months, I kept hoping it was just a phase. But it's not. I don't want to ruin our friendship. Why do I always mess things up?!
Harry's POV
I felt the girl cum over my dick. As usual, I hadn't. I didn't even know who she was. I never see their faces. They're just fillers, to fill the emptiness in my heart. Acting pleased, I rolled off her, and lay beside her. After a few minutes, it got too much. "Look, I need to get ready, I have a meeting with the boys now" I lied. I felt vaguely bad, but nothing as bad as HE made me feel. My best friend, who I was in love with. I love him, but I hate him too. Why does he make me feel this way? I hate myself too. I can't even have a normal friendship.
The worst thing is, I can't tell anyone. No one will accept me. Not the management, not my family, not the boys, and, worst of all, not Louis. My heart's breaking. But I know it will break more if I come out to everyone. The fans will shun me, the management will tell me to act straight, and the boys and my family will be confused. But the thing I wouldn't be able to bear is Louis. I wouldn't be able to bear it as he told me no.
After the girl leaves, I get up and go into the bathroom. I pick up the razor and do what I have to do. What I always do. It's a never ending cycle.