A/N: This is my first Dr Who thing ever, and it's silly crack, hopefully someone will find it amusing. 10th Doctor/Simm!Master, No slash. And no, I never accepted the end of The end of Time, so I guess it's AU! also. I don't own Doctor who! If I did 11th wouldn't have happened and the Master would show up more often.
"You use a hammer to fly the TARDIS?" The Master held up the offending object, giving the Doctor a skeptical, untrusting look.
"Well, the controls get stuck now and then, and it's a rubber hammer, perfectly harmless." The Doctor said with a cheeky grin plastered on his face.
The Master sighed and leaned back against the railing, tapping the hammer against it in a quick, four-beat rhythm. "If you bothered with some basic maintenance this piece of space junk might actually work."
"Oi! Don't diss the TARDIS. She may be old and she may have seen better days but-"the retort was cut short by the rubber hammer whizzing past the Doctors head, close enough to actually mess up his hair. It made a loud clanking noise as it hit the center console a few feet behind the Doctor.
"The bloody TARDIS is dead, and we're stuck on this lousy, uninhabited piece of rock because you're too lazy to clean the god damn thing!"The master took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down a bit; not that showing his displeasure was a bad thing, not at all. But the drums tended to get louder when he got himself too worked up, and he preferred to not let them drive him over the edge, after all, it's easier to enjoy casual tormenting of others when you only got one screw lose instead of all of them.
The Doctor gave his friend a few minutes to calm down, leaning against the center console and watching the Masters fingers, waiting for him to stop drumming them against the railing before picking up the argument again. "Okay, so I might not be the best pilot around, but she's still old, meant to be piloted by more than one person, and I've been abit to busy to worry about it. Not that I actually worried since she's been working flawlessly until now. And besides it really shouldn't need to be repaired that often, and-"
"Doctor, shut up. You're rambling." The Master growled, walked over and snatched the sonic screwdriver from the Doctors hand.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Fixing the TARDIS since you're obviously not competent enough." The Master sneered and hunched down under the controls to try and find the problem.
"Well, you're not doing it with that." The Doctor snatched his screwdriver back and quickly backed up a few steps.
The Master fixed the younger Time Lord with a smoldering glare, actually causing him to cringe a little. "Fine. I'll use my own."
"What?" The Doctor looked genuinely surprised when he saw the laser screwdriver in the Masters hands as he started to work on the ship.
The Master ignored him but after about two minutes of awkward silence, he gave in. "Really Doctor, if you organized things you might have noticed it 'disappeared' over a month ago."
"Oh. Right." The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets, looking at the blonds back for a bit before wandering off.
"Where do you think you're going?" The Master snapped as the Doctor left the control room.
"Cleaning." The reply brought a grin to the Masters face which was quickly followed by a quiet, but long and elaborate string of Gallifreyan curses as he got a shock powerful enough to stop one of his hearts.
The Doctor was stopped just outside the control room by a loud, angry snarl, followed by a repeated clanking noise which sounded a lot like a rubber hammer being used on metal surfaces. "Well, the TARDIS still has it in for him…" He mused, and grinning wandered off to find a broom… and whatever else needed for cleaning. An excavator might come in handy too.