His Secret Past

by B00kw0rm92

Damian Spinelli has been in town for almost two years and nobody knows his past. What happens when it begins to haunt him more then ever and he can no longer hide it? And what happens when more then even he knows is revealed? - Spixie Paring

1. Chapters 1 through 24

His Secret Past

Chapter One:

Damien Spinelli sat in the apartment of his friend and roommate Jason Morgan waiting for him to return home. While waiting he surfed the web on his much loved laptop. As the time slowly passed his mind wandered and he began to wonder what his life would have been like if he had not, of all things, been kidnapped by Lorenzo Alcazar almost two years ago. That one event which, started out so badly ended with him finding what he had never really had before, happiness, friends and a real home. All he still lacked was a family, as much as he loved her, he couldn't really count his grandmother as a whole family. No, she had only taken him in because she had too, it wouldn't have looked good to the neighbors for her to leave her only grandson in foster care. True, she had come to love him, but it wasn't a real family and he certainly hadn't had one before her, even though he had lived with his mother...

Jason opened the door and walked in, taking off his Friday leather jacket and placing it in the closet. Spinelli looked up "The Jackel will not ask where you have been." Jason made eye contact with him, looking vaguly annoyed "I was with Michael, Spinelli. They moved him today.". Spinelli instantly understood, "The grasshopper is sorry for his assumptions. I should have know that you were with the little dude." Jason said nothing but sat down beside him on the couch. Spinelli thought for a while and then decided to speak "Doctors can be wrong Stone Cold, don't give up on little Michael. I haven't." he paused, sometimes he suprised himself with how much he cared for that child "Someday he'll wake up and he'll be fine. Then he can play with Krissy and young Morgan ... and the innocent one." Spinelli realized his mistake as soon as it came out of his mouth. Jason looked up sharply but not with anger in his eyes, with sadness. "Spinelli, Liz and I decided that it's best if I never see Jake again unless it can't be avoided." Jason glaced at the closet but quickly turned away.

Spinelli was very upset to hear this, he had been trying to talk Jason into claiming his son for months "Stone Cold, that is most unwise!". Jason looked at Spinelli "I have no choice!" he almost yelled, calming himself, he continued "I can never let what happened to Michael happen to Jake." Spinelli blurted out the first thing that came to his mind "But you can't just abandon him!". Jason stood up "What else can I do, Spinelli!" he yelled. Spinelli ran though everything he could think of and finally looked up "I ... I don't know." he sadly replied "But there has to be another way." Jason sat back back down, though this time in the chair "I don't like it either." he said with sigh.

Spinelli looked almost panicked "If you aren't with fair Elizabeth then she is free to find another man." Jason looked confused at the reaction from his young friend "I know that." he replied. Spinelli stood up and began to pace "But, what if she ends up with a less then desirable partner?" after a short pause Jason replied "Well, there's nothing I can do about that, it's her choice who she ends up with.". Continuing to pace Spinelli quietly, even dropping his nicknames remarked "But what about Cameron and Jacob?".Jason was taken aback by the quite tone of the young man's voice "What do you mean Spinelli?" Spinelli looked at the floor "What if, what if she marries someone that doesn't like them?". Jason stood and turned to face his friend "Elizabeth is to smart to marry someone like that." he told him. Still staring at his feet the boy whispered "Sometimes you can't tell at first.".

Puzzled by this strange reaction the older man took a step closer to the younger "Spinelli, look at me. What's wrong with you?". Spinelli jerked his head up and put on a smile "Nothing, Stone Cold. The Jackel is simply tired from a long day of observing Maximista at work." Jason started to question him but changed his mind "Ok." he replied. "The Jackel with retire to his regretably pink room for the night and leave Stone Cold to... think." Spinelli said and headed up the stairs to his room. Jason stood in silence for a moment and then headed for the closet. He removed a single box placed it in front of him and he sat on the couch.

As he lay in his bed, Spinelli scolded himself for what he had almost done. "The grasshopper must not burdon his master with the details of his past." he thought "He has enough to deal with on his own. Everyone does."

Chapter Two:

It was ten in the morning, Spinelli had overslept and he was now walking into Kelly's for breakfast. As he walked in he noticed little Kristina sitting by herself at a table near the kitchen eating ice cream. Spinelli walked over to the little girl "Hey, Krissy! What are you doing here by yourself?" he asked her, making sure to speak in a way that she would understand. The adorable child looked up at him with ice cream on her chin "I'm spending the day with Grandpa Mike! He's in the kitchen." she replied. "How are you doing today?" Spinelli asked her, her sweet smile faded as she replied "I miss my brother.". Spinelli sank to his knees and locked eyes with the child "I know you do and I know lit... Michael misses you too. I'm sure he's doing his best to get better so he can come back to you and Morgan. He'll wake up just as soon as he can!". Kristina smiled and hopped off her chair to hug him "Thank you, Spinelli!" she said. "You're welcome, Krissy." he said as he stood up "Now finish your ice cream!".

Spinelli walked up to the counter just as Mike came out of the kitchen. "Good morning, Spinelli!" the old man said happily "Your usual?" Spinelli sat down at the counter "Yes, and good morning to you as well, father of Mr. Corinthos, Sir." he answered. As Mike went to get his order Spinelli watched little Kristina thinking of how many lives had forever been changed when that bullet hit twelve year old Michael. Spinelli thought back to when he was twelve, in way he'd been in a similar place as Michael at that age, actually he'd been in the same place little Kristina was only a few months ago. Spinelli was pulled out of his thoughts when Mike sat his orange soda and bagel on the counter, he thanked the him and went to a table. He'd barely sat down when Maxie came running in.

"Spinelli! You'll never guess what happened!" the beautiful blond yelled as she ran and sat across from him at the table. "What is it Maximista?" Spinelli asked staring her "Three more married men complained about Lulu flirting with them and Kate fired her! She made me her official assitant!" Maxie excitedly told him. Although he cared for Lulu, Spinelli's heart belonged to Maxie even though she was clueless so he replied "The Jackel is happy for Maximista!". Maxie didn't even seem to hear him and she went right on talking "I can't wait to tell Mac! He'll be so proud of me! You know Robin and Georgie were always so perfect he was always so proud of them, still is of Robin but I could never do anything right. Even my organs didn't work right, I mean I had to have a heart transplant... never mind, you know all about that." a lightbulb seemed to go off over her head at that moment "Spinelli, you know so much about me, but I don't know anything about you." she remarked.

Spinelli took a deep breath before repling "The Jackel doesn't care to talk about his past." this seemed to puzzle Maxie "Come on Spinelli, it can't be that boring. I don't know anything about you, you could at least tell me how you got so good at computers!" she said insitantly. Spinelli knew that not answering her would only lead to more questions "As the Jackel has said before, his cyber skills were gained during his childhood isolation out of..." he searched for a word that would explain it "boredom." he finally finished. "Isolation?" she asked as if he had never mentioned that before, Spinelli pretended not to hear her "Stone Cold needed me to look something up for him. Goodbye Maximista, I hope to see you again shortly." he said as he headed for the door. "Bye, Spinelli!" Maxie called after him as she tried to figure out that conversation.

As Spinelli ran out the door he almost bumped right into Sonny. He backed away "Mr. Corinthos, sir! Um, Good day!" he mumbled, Sonny rolled his eyes in annoyence "I don't have time right now Spinelli." he said. "The Jackel is most sorry for intruding, goodbye, Mr. Corinthos, sir!" Spinelli replied already walking away. As he walked through town Spinelli hoped that he would avoid bumping into anyone else until he had time to clear his head. What was wrong with him lately? He had come to close for comfort to revealing pieces of his bast that he wanted to stay buried - twice! And in less then twenty-four hours! He knew he couldn't let that happen again. He helped everyone else, but he didn't want them trying to help him.

He continued walking he began to think back again on his life since he came to town. He accidently let out a short laugh when he realized most people in his position would be thinking "How did I get myself into this mess?" but what he was thinking was quite the opposite, "How did I get so lucky?". Spinelli shook himself out of his thoughts, it was to nice a day to spend lost in thoughts of his past. He didn't really need to do anything for Jason and he had just blown off Maxie so he wasn't really sure where to go but he figured if he walked far enough he'd find someplace. So he kept on walking.

Chapter Three:

Spinelli ended up in the park and sat down on a bench to rest. Much to his suprise, shortly after he sat down Jason walked by "What are you doing here, Spinelli?" Jason asked. "The Jackel was out for a walk and he grew tired and stopped rest. Your Grasshopper could ask the same of you, Stone Cold." Spinelli replied. Jason looked embarrassed "Well, I figured, it's a public place..." he motioned over to a playground. Spinelli turned around and saw Cameron playing and Elizabeth standing near by with Jake. "Oh" Spinelli said softly "You came to see the Innocent One." Spinelli began to smile "I knew you couldn't really leave him!".

Jason turned back around to his friend "Spinelli, I told you, I can't be his father." Spinelli looked almost hurt "You already are, Stone Cold. You can't change that and you can't abandon him!". Jason began to get annoyed "I already told you that I have no choice!" Spinelli again started to get frantic "You can't leave him! You can't let him spend his whole life thinking that someone is his father that isn't! He'll find out someday and then how will he feel?". Jason threw his hands in the air "I'd be better then him being like Michael, unable to feel or do anything!" he snapped. Spinelli looked down and he seemed to shrink "Your Grasshopper is deeply sorry for questioning you" he said after a long silence "he ... I just can't bare to see this hurt Young Jacob." Jason sat beside him "I know, Spinelli. Beleive me, I've tried to think of another way, I'm still thinking. There just doesn't seem to be one.".

After a long silence Spinelli stood up "The Jackel will be going now." Jason stood up as well and glaced back to the playground "Ok, goodbye, Spinelli!". As he walked away Spinelli called back to him "Goodbye, Stone Cold!". After a few minutes he realized that he was very close to the Metro Court and knowing that the Carly would most likely be there, buring himself in her work, he went to check on her. Sure enough when he walked in the first thing he saw was her, barking orders to the staff "Good afternoon, Valkyrie. Do you need assitance?" he asked. Carly looked up "Oh, hi Spinelli. No, I've got this. What are you doing here?" he walked towards her "The Jackel was taking a walk and just decided to stop by." he answered. Carly instantly looked annoyed "Did Jason send you?" she asked.

Spinelli was shocked "No! No, nothing like that. The Jackel is here of his own accord." Spinelli said while sitting down at an empty table nearby. Carly began to say something else but just as she opened her mouth the phone rang "Let me get that, Spinelli" she said as she picked up "Oh, Hi Jax! What? You said you'd be home for dinner! No, no, you promised!". At those words Spinelli found himself flung back in time, nine years back to be exact: "No! No! You promised!" a woman screamed while standing in front of her young son "You promised me you wouldn't hurt him again!" the woman said as she back herself and the child into a corner. "Mama, it's ok, I'll be okay!" the boy said as tears ran down his face "No!" the woman screamed again "You promised me, Drake! After you hurt him so bad last time you promised me it would never happen again!" the man continued walking towards them "Rachel, he didn't do what I told him too! He can't get away with that" the giant of a man bellowed as he began to remove his belt. "Run, Damian! I'll be okay, baby, run!" the woman yelled through her tears "But, mama" the boy whispered "Just go!" the woman insisted, so he did. And as soon as he shut the door he heard her screams begin ... "Spinelli ... Spinelii!" Carly said, he looked up at her "Sorry, I was just thinking about something." he softly replied.

Spinelli looked up at her "What's wrong, Valkyrie?" he asked. "Nothing, Jax just won't be home until late tonight and I overeacted a bit." she answered looking embarrassed as she realised how many people were around. "I'm sure that the White Knight has good reasoning." he said trying to cheer her up. "He does, I just ..." she trailed off as tears came in her eyes "It will be okay, Valkyrie, I know it will." Spinelli said with such determination that Carly was able to calm herself "Thank you" she told the young man. "Your welcome." he replied "The Jackel needs to be going now." "Bye, Spinelli!" Carly called as he walk away.

Chapter Four:

As Spinelli made his stops through town Maxie happened to run into Jason as he left the park, "What are you doing here?" she asked "I thought you were doing something with Spinelli.". Jason looked confused "No, I haven't asked him for anything today, why did you think that?". Now it was Maxie's turn to look confused "But he said... never mind. Do you know how you're gonna keep him busy tomorrow?" she asked with a smirk." Jason almost smiled as he replied "Max is taking him out of town to 'fix a computer' for someone we work with ... about three hours out of town and they're leaving at six in the morning.". Maxie thought about that for a minute "Are you sure it's a good idea to let him think we forgot?".

Spinelli decided to head to Colemans bar on the way home for a orange soda but when he walked in he saw that his friend Patrick was there already. "Greetings, Good Doctor." he said as he sat beside the man Patrick turned towards him "Hey, Spin." he said sounding distracted. "What is concerning you?" Spinelli asked Patrick sighed as he replied "Names. Robin wants to pick out a name.". Spinelli was confused "Do you want to bestow upon your ... Muffin the names she has picked?". Patrick sighed again "No, I don't really care as long as she doesn't name her Zelda or something and it keeps upseting her that have much imput. I don't know what to do!". Spinelli thought for a minute "What kind of name does she want the Muffin to have?" he asked. "She wants it to be special, she says it has to have meaning. I don't know what that means!" Patrick answered banging his head on the table.

"May The Jackel suggest a name" Spinelli asked his friend "Sure, I'm cluelles. Suggest away" Patrick replied. Spinelli paused for a moment before he spoke "If she wants it have meaning what about Michaela Georgianna? For the Little Dude and Sweet Georgie? The Jackel thinks that would be a name of great meaning.". Patrick looked suprised "Spinelli, I think she'll love that! It sounds just like what she's been pushing me for!" Spinelli smiled "I'm glad the Jackel could be of help.". Just the Coleman walked up, seeing Spinelli he asked "The usual?" Spinelli nodded "To go, please.". Coleman handed him his orange soda and Spinelli headed for home.

As Spinelli opened the door of the appartment he saw Jason sitting on the couch. "Good evening, Stone Cold." he said "There's pizza in the kitchen." Jason informed him. As Spinelli went to the kitchen to grab his dinner Jason asked "Why did you tell Maxie that had to do something for me today? I thought you liked her, why blow her off like that?". Spinelli walked back into the room with his plate of pizza "Maximista was making The Jackel uncompterable with her line of questioning." Spinelli replied "Did you get to see the Innocent One?" he added, quickly trying changing the subject. "For a few minutes." was the reply "What was Maxie asking you?" Jason asked. Spinelli pretended that it that it took a lot longer then usual to chew that particular bite of pizza, the finally answered "The Maximista was inquiring as to your Grasshopper's past."

Jason seemed confused as he realized that he also knew nothing of his young friends child hood "What's so bad about that?" he asked. "The Jackel prefers not to discuss matters long over with." he softly replied. There was a long silence as Jason tried to decide whether or not to press the boy. "Max is going to take you somewhere tomorrow, an assoiciate needs his computer fixed fast. You'll have to leave at six in the moning." Jason finally said, deciding that the matter could wait. "Oh, ok." Spinelli said as he put his plate in the dishwasher "The Jackel will go to bed then.". Jason waited until Spinelli was in his room before pulling out his phone "Max. It's a go. Be ready in the morning.".

As Spinelli got ready for bed he thought about what he had just been told. He decided that it didn't matter if his birthday was forgotten, he was an adult now, he didn't need a big deal made, he lived without it before and he could do it now.

Chapter Five:

As Spinelli sat in the passengers side of the car beside Max at seven a clock in the morning. "How long is this going to take?" he asked. Max turned to him "Three hours there, three hours back. Plus the time it takes to fix it. I'd say all day." he replied, trying to stay serious. "Oh." Spinelli said with sigh. He had hoped he might could make it back early enough that if the Blond One or Maximista had remembered he could do something with them.

While Spinelli sat in the car facing what he thought would be a very long day, Maxie knocked at Jason's apartment door. Jason opened the door revealing a small army behind Maxie holding paint cans and brushes, all dress in old clothes. Jason headed up stairs and Maxie, Milo, Mike, and the two littlest helpers, Morgan and Kristina followed him into Spinelli's room. "I had some of the other guards move the furniture out as soon as he left, let's get started guys." Jason announced. And with that Maxie opened the paint cans and passed out brushes.

Max and Spinelli walked out of a large house and headed back to the car. "The Jackel doesn't understand! Why didn't they tell us they got someone else to fix it?" Spinelli yelled in frustration. Max had to fight laughter as he answered him "I don't know, maybe they forgot that they asked you?". Spinelli continued fuming as he got into the car "But the Jackel could have done so much else today! Now the whole day is wasted!". As he started the car Max answered "Not quite, we should be home by one.".

The group stood back to examine their work on the room. "It perfect!" Maxie exlaimed "He'll love it!". Mike suddenly burst into laughter and all eyes looked down as he pointed to his grandchildren, the six and seven year old's were covered head to toe in paint. "How did you guys do that?" Maxie asked, supress laughter herself. Little Kristina looked down at her own clothing and then at her brother "I don't know." she said with a shrug. Mike managed to calm himself down and said "Come on guys, it's a good thing I have some clothes for you." as he ushered the children out the door he turned to the others "I'm gonna change them and then head down to Kelly's, who all will be there?". Maxie seemed to count in her head and then she answered "I had to invite Lulu since she's Spinelli's friend, she about fainted though. Um, she'll probably bring Johnny, Diane's coming, Kate, Sam, Liz and her kids, Cam wanted Spencer to come so Nik's coming with him, Lucky may come with Sam, Oh, and Alexis said that if Molly wasn't asleep she'd come early to pick Kristina up so she could be there too. I think that's it, well and all of us - including Max. So, pretty much half the town" Maxie said, looking tired just from listing everybody. "Ok." Mike said with a laugh "I'll be ready."

"What are we doing here?" Spinelli asked as they pulled into the parking lot behind Kelly's. "Well, since you got dragged all that way for nothing, I figured I could at least by you lunch." Max replied. "The large amount of cars here is rather unusual." Spinelli remarked. Max almost panicked, but caught himself "Saturday lunch rush, I guess" he said as they walked to the door. As Spinelli opened the door the entire room yelled in unison "Suprise! Happy birthday!". Spinelli froze he had never had a suprise party in his life, he couldn't beleive that they had done this for him. He was jerked out of thought when a herd of small children came running at him with handmade cards.

Chapter Six:

Spinelli sat in a daze surounded by almost all the people he had become close to since he came to town. All the children he cared so much about and even one he barely knew sat around him showing him all the little detail on their cards for him as they waited for Mike to bring out that cake and ice cream. It was everything he could have asked for. The thought shocked him as he realized he had never thought that before on his birthday, something had always been missing before.

"Alright guys, I have cake!" Mike announced as he came from the kitchen with Maxie and Milo behind him. Spinelli laughed when he saw what they had, Milo carried two large containers of ice cream, Maxie had a small one, of orange sherbet. As they sat it down the kids ran from Spinelli to the table. Spinelli walked over to the table and then he noticed that Maxie was placing candles on the cake, he smiled. It wasn't the way most people would want to spend their twenty-second birthday, but it was perfect for him. The whole room burst into song as Maxie lit the candles and he felt happier then he had ever felt.

After everyone ate Spinelli opened his presents - mostly clothes and things for his laptop, on obvious suggestion from Maxie and Jason, respectivly. The kids, however had insisted on buying him a present with their own money and would take no suggestions. They pooled their money and together they presented him with a large stuffed cat. He assured them that it was his favorite present. After many hours of more fun then Spinelli ever remembered having everyone began to go home. Maxie and Jason told him he had one more present waiting at home, so after Kristina and Morgan made sure to tell him that they had helped too, he was taken back to the apartment.

"The Jackel is most curious about his final present." Spinelli remarked as they entered the apparentment. Maxie walked over to the desk and picked up a blindfold "Come here!" she insisted. Spinelli was puzzled but he let her blindfold him and lead him up the stairs, once inside his room they Maxie removed his blindfold. "The regretably pink room is ... blue!" Spinelli said in amazment. Maxie smiled "It's periwinkle." she said "Me, Jason, Mike, Milo, Kristina and Morgan all painted it this morning!". Spinelli laughed, "So that's why you had a Protector Of The Night take the Jackel on a wild goose chase." Maxie nodded to Jason "That was his idea.". "I'm glad you like it, Spinelli!" Jason said.

Maxie stayed for a while and helped Spinelli put all his presents up and find a place for the stuffed cat. Once they finished they headed downstairs and found that Jason had picked up dinner for all of them. After they ate Maxie pulled out a movie that Spinelli had mentioned wanting to see and took him upstairs to watch it. As he sat with Maxie he was amazed at how far they had come, just a few months ago she had hated him and now she had given him the best birthday he had ever had. After the movie Maxie told him that she had to leave and she hugged him goodbye - which thrilled Spinelli to no end.

He walked her to her car and then came back in. "The Jackel is going to retire to th- his bedroom." Spinelli told the older man "Thank you for today." he said with genuine gratitude. Jason turned to him "You're welcome, Spinelli, but why are you going to bed so early?". "The Jackel is tired, it was a long day." Spinelli replied. Jason looked confused "But you spent half the day in the car and you went to be early last night." he said. Spinelli looked a little confused as he realized that Jason was right "The Grasshopper doesn't know why, but he is still tired. Good night, Stone Cold!" he said as he headed to bed.

Chapter Seven:

"No, ow! Please! Stop, don't!" Spinelli sat straight up in bed when he woke up, he hated when old memories made it into his dreams. He looked at the clock at was shocked to see that it was eight thirty in the morning, he had over slept. He looked around his room, it finally felt like his, the pink was gone. He got dressed and went downstairs, sure enough, Jason was already gone. Spinelli grabbed a muffin and a box of juice and headed off to "work".

"Hey, Spin!" Max said when Spinelli opened the door to Sonny's coffie shop. "Greetings." Spinelli replied "Is Stone Cold inside?" he asked motioning to the back room. Max walked over to him "No, but Sonny is. He isn't in that bad a mood today so you might be safe to go in.". Spinelli decided to take his chance and knocked. "Who is it?" came the rather harse reply from inside the room "It is the Jackel, Mr. Corinthos, sir" Spinelli answered. Sonny sighed "Come on in." Sonny was sitting behind his desk not seeming to be doing much of anything so Spinelli sat down in a chair in front of him "Will you be needing the Jackel's services today?" he asked.

Sonny seemed annoyed, as usual "No, Spinelli. There's nothing for you to trace, I told you we're cutting back!". Spinelli tried to stay calm as not to anger the older man "Okay, the Jackel will be going then. Goodbye, Mr. Corinthos, sir." and with that Spinelli left the room. "Nothing?" Max asked as he walked out "No, he doesn't need me today." Spinelli replied. Max smiled "Hey, sorry again for taking you on that wild goose chase yesterday." Spinelli smiled too "There is nothing to be sorry for, the Jackel's birthday was wonderful and it could not have been without that." Spinelli said as he left.

Spinelli smiled as he walked down the street, he knew where he was going next. He wouldn't be able to stay long but he was going to visit his beautiful Maximista at work. He'd most likely be kicked out in less then five minutes, but it would be worth it! He saw her as soon as he walked in, sitting at her desk on the phone. He could tell she was busy and she hadn't seen him yet so he just stood and watched her for a while. She was totally clueless at how much he was in love with her, he wished he could find away to tell her.

Spinelli was brought out of his thoughts when Maxie hung up the phone and turned around "Spinelli!" she yelled running to him. She hugged him and the whole world felt right in that moment "Greetings, Maximista!" he said as she backed up. "What are you doing here?" she asked him although she was clearly happy to see him. "The Jackel just wanted to see how his Maximista was doing." Spinelli replied as he watched her every move. Maxie laughed "Your Maximista?" she asked playfully. Just then Kate called her from inside her office "I'm sorry, Spinelli, I have to go, bye!" Maxie called as she hurried in the room. Disapointed that the meeting was even shorter then he had though it would be, Spinelli left.

Chapter Eight:

As Spinelli walked away from the building his cell phone rang. "Greetings" he said as he answered the phone. "Spinelli, it's the blender again? Do you have time to fix it?" said the voice on the other end. "Of course, father of Mr. Sir, I'll be right there." Spinelli replied, when he hung up he turned and headed for Kelly's. It was a short walk as Port Charles is a fairly small town so he knew it wouldn't take long, even so he found himself getting tired.

As Spinelli walked in the resturaunt he noticed music playing. Mike walked over to him "Do you like it?" he asked "I thought it would be a nice touch.". Spinelli smiled "It is most wonderful, Mr. Senior Sir." he said as he followed Mike up to the counter. Mike handed the blender to him "It just stopped working again!" he said shaking his hand "Can you take a look?". "Of course!" Spinelli replied "It is no trouble for the Jackel at all!".

Spinelli set to work on the blender but as he worked a song came on the radio that he had not heard in years, he tried to fight it but within seconds he found himself ten years back in time: A little boy, small for his age shut his bedroom door and ran across the room turing the radio up as he ran by. He climbed into his bed and curled into a ball. He tried to focus on the song, despratly trying to drown out the screams still echoing in his mind, he began to slowly rock back and forth. Suddenly he heard a loud noise and then more voices then he had ever heard in his life.

In that instant the terror of what had just happened hit him and something changed even though he wanted to run and hide from the voices that where heading in his direction he couldn't. Suddenly his door opened and several people in uniforms burst in the room. "Police." he thought "I've seen them on t.v." as they came toward him he again wanted to run, he had never seen this many people before. He watched them ut of the corner of his eye, to scared to actualy lock eyes with any of them and as if he had no control over it, he was still rocking. Suddenly one man knelt down in front of him "Hello. My name is Officer Paul, can you tell me your name?" the man asked, when the boy didn't answer he reached out for him and the child involentarily jerked away.

Officer Paul stood up and motioned someone else over to a corner, but they didn't realize the boy could still hear them. "There must be something wrong him." Paul said to the other man "Well, we have to get him out of here." the other man replied. Officer Paul looked back at the child "He's small enough to carry, maybe I can keep him turned away from the body." with that statement he walked back and again reached for the boy, who gave another involentary jerk away. Ignoring this the man picked the child up, the boy wanted to fight to, to run, but he was frozen with fear... "Spinelli? Spinelli?" it was Mike "Are you ok?". Spinelli faked a smile "Fine, the song just reminded me of something."

Chapter Nine:

Spinelli went back to work on the blender, the memories were coming more then ever lately and it was begining to drive him insane. He had worked so hard to put it all behind him and start a totally new life and now his own mind was betraying him, flashbacks, nightmares and they were just getting worse! If it didn't stop someone was going to figure out that something was wrong and that was the last thing he needed. He continued tinkering with the blender as he thought and finally he figured out the problem. A few minutes later he called Mike in "It is as good as new." Spinelli said with a smile as he handed the blender back to Mike.

As Spinelli headed for the door, Sam walked in and stopped him. They sat together at a table and began to talk "So, do you like your room?" Sam asked him. "The Jackel is most thrilled, fair Samantha." Spinelli replied. As they talked Spinelli noticed how much she had changed since he first met her. She really cared for him, in a motherly kind of way - as a matter of fact she was reminding him more and more of his own mother. Spinelli stopped himself, not again, he had to find a way to stop thinking about the past.

Spinelli finished his talk with Sam and once again headed out but as soon as he turned the corner be bumped into - literally - Logan. "Sorry, Simian One." Spinelli said as he continued walking "What is wrong with you, you little freak! Can't you even watch where you're going?" Logan screamed in anger. Spinelli froze, once again transported back in time. A little boy sat in a hospital room with people surrounding him, all talking as if he wasn't even there. "What is wrong with him?" a nurse asked, a doctor looked up "Psyciotrist says he's Autistic. Almost a good thing for the poor kid. Maybe he didn't realize what was happening." the doctor shook his head and went back to looking at the charts.

Another nurse walked over to the doctor "Are you sure there isn't more to this? I mean, those old broken bones, there's no record of him. Something seems fishy." she said. The doctor looked annoyed "We don't go looking for zebras when a horse fits. The father explained all of his injuries and he said that they were too embarrassed about the boy to take him out in public. It was a fight over him that cause this. The mother wanted to take him somewhere. I'm not saying it was right - certainly not the murder, but it makes since." the doctor started to walk away but the nurse stopped him "But what about other thing? He's not even his real father!" she called.

The doctor turned back, angered by the nurses continued doubt "He never knew. Now stop questioning me." and with that he walked away. Without looking back, everyone followed him out and nobody saw the child begin to cry. Spinelli snapped himself out of it and kept walking ignoring Logan as he continued to yell at him. After a couple of minutes he decided to head home. He was tired, it had been a long day.

Chapter Ten:

Spinelli opened the door to the penthouse and was glad to see that Jason was already home. Jason said nothing at first and Spinelli just watched him and he realized that he had never seen the man in any color but black or grey. He decided that for Christmas he was going to have to buy the man some colorful shirts. Finally Jason looked over at him "There's food in the kitchen, I ordered Chinese." he said. With that Spinelli headed to the kitchen to grab his dinner.

Spinelli brought his plate back into the living room and sat down in a chair by the couch where Jason was sitting. They never ate in the dining room, always in the living room. After a few minutes of eating Spinelli broke the silence "Did Stone Cold eat already?" he asked. Jason looked up at him "Yeah." he replied. Spinelli realized that the coversation was going no where so he tried again "The Jackel used to cook in his younger days, he may have to try again sometime." he said hoping to interest Jason with the detail from his past, however unimportant it was.

Jason looked suprised "You've never mentioned your past before, Spinelli." he replied, still looking rather shell shocked. Spinelli began to mildly panic, maybe this wasn't the good idea he thought was "The Jackel doesn't like to talk about it." he said trying to silently beg Jason to let it go. It didn't work "Why?" Jason asked. Spinelli froze trying desperately to find a way out the whole he had just dug for him self. Finally he spoke "The Jackel's past was an unpleasent one. It is not something he enjoys remembering." he said softly.

The doorbell rang and Spinelli jumped for it, he was literaly saved by bell. Relief melted into pure joy when he saw just who it was that "saved" him. "Maximista!" Spinelli said with huge grin "What brings you here?" he asked her. Maxie smiled "I felt bad for having to so fast earlier and I wanted to see you!" she said. Spinelli watched in awe as his beautiful Maximista walked right in and sat on the couch just like she owned the place.

Jason moved to the chair and Spinelli sat down beside her "The Jackel is most thrilled to see Maximista." he told her. The phone rang and Jason picked it up. Spinelli was so hypnotised by Maxie that he barely even took not and certainly didn't hear a word being said. Jason hung up the phone and turned to them, Spinelli instantly knew something was very wrong by the look on Jason's face. There was a moment of silence before Jason locked eyes with Spinelli "I'm not really sure how to tell you this. Your grandmother just died."

Chapter Eleven:

Spinelli was in shock, how could she be gone? Why wasn't there any warning? Jason spoke up again "She just died in her sleep Spinelli. It took a while for them to track you down, it happened yesterday. They said she wasn't in any pain." he said, trying to find some way to comfort his young friend. Maxie and Jason exchanged a quick glance at each other, both of knew that with what little was known about his past it seemed clear that his grandmother was all he had. Spinelli finally spoke "I ... I have to go. I have to go now." he said in a panic.

Maxie tried to calm him "It's late Spinelli and it's a long way away, let's wait until morning ok." she said. Spinelli barely heard her "I have to go now, She's ... I have to go!" he said to nobody in particular. Maxie walked to him and locked eyes with him "Spinelli. Listen to me, there is no way you are gonna get a flight leaving now and if you try to drive it will take you way to long. If you wait until tomorrow we can get a plane some where and I'll go with you. Ok?" she said. Spinelli looked at her with tears in his eyes "Ok." he said.

Maxie went in to her take-charge mode "Spinelli you go get some sleep." she said as she gave him a hug "Me and Jason will find a flight and then I'll go home and pack so I can go with you." she told him. Spinelli still couldn't understand this "Ok." he said again as he headed up the stairs. Maxie turned to Jason "Tennessee, right?" she said. Jason nodded and they headed for the computer to find the nearest airport they could leave from in the morning.

Spinelli lifted his bags into Maxie's car. It was six in the morning and they had an hour long drive ahead of them just to get to an airport that would take them where they needed to go on such short notice. Maxie came up behind him "I never got a chance to tell you last night, I'm so sorry Spinelli." she said hugging him again. Spinelli still felt numb but Maxie's presence made it easier to handle "That is much appreciated." he said. With that they got into the car and were on their way.

After a long silence Maxie decided to speak up "Were you close with your grandmother?" she asked him, not sure what else to say and hoping she didn't make things worse. Spinelli sighed "Granny was all the Jackel had." he replied knowing this left him open but not really caring. Maxie thought about that for a minute before she replied "What about parents?" she asked him. That was something that Spinelli really didn't want to answer but there was no way out so he gave as little detail as possible "The Jackel's mother died when he was twelve and he never knew him biological father" he finally replied. Maxie felt even worse for him now "Is there nobody else? No other family?" she asked him. Spinelli was sliently begging her to stop questioning him "Not that the Jackel knows of." he replied.

Maxie was confused now "But, if your mother died when she was twelve, wouldn't any family have come to the funeral? And didn't your grandmother ever mention anyone?" she asked. Spinelli sighed this wasn't going to end "The Jackel was not permitted to attend his mothers funeral. And Granny was an only child, she never mentioned anybody other then Grampa, and he died before I came to live with her." he said realizing he had said to much only after it was too late. Maxie started to ask another question but she didn't have a chance, they were at the airport.

Chapter Twelve:

Spinelli froze as he opened the door to the house he spent six years of his life in. Once again memories came flooding back but this time they weren't bad ones, they were some of the only good ones he had, Christmas's, birthdays, holidays and all the ways that Granny tried to make them special in her own way. When Maxie walked in he snapped back out of it. "This is the Jackel's old home." he said "This is Granny's house.". As Maxie began to walk around she was amazed that she was finally learming more of Spinelli's past. Though she never would have wish it to happen this way she was glad to know a little more about her secret crush.

"The guest room is the first door down that hall." he told Maxie giving a gesture to the direction he meant "The Jackel has to call Paster Joe." he added. Maxie began to walk down the hall but she stopped when she heard him speak again "Hello Pastor Joe, this is Damian." he said. Once she got over the slight shock she headed for the room and placed her things on the bed. She looked around, it was pretty nice, nothing special though. When she came back out Spinelli was off the phone.

Maxie walked over to him "You ... you didn't talk like you always do with him. I mean, I know you tone it down for kids, but I've never heard you talk that way to an adult." she said, hoping she explained herself well enough. Spinelli turned to her "Granny never let the Jackel talk like that in church." he replied. "Oh." Maxie said, shocked at such a simple answer from the normally complicated young man. Spinelli walked towards the couch "The funeral arrangements are made. It's early tomorrow morning." he said as he sat down "The Jackel can't beleive that Granny is really gone." he said with tears again in his eyes. Maxie sat beside him "I know." she said as she leaned against him and then hugged him.

They sat together like that for a long time and finally Spinelli broke the silence "The lovely Maximista has to eat. The Jackel will fix dinner." he announced. "You cook?" Maxie said, the shock in her voice obvious. Spinelli face fell again as he remembered "Granny tought me." he said as he headed for the kitchen. Maxie stayed sitting on the couch for a while but finally got up and began to look around again. She tried to imagine what it was like to grow up in the house with only a grandmother.

As she walked Maxie stopped to take note of the pictures on the wall. There were many pictures of a young girl all through her life but they seem to stop in her late teens and there were a few Maxie assumed were of Spinelli's grandparents. Her favorites were the ones of a young Spinelli, school pictures and Christmas pictures with a few random ones. After a while Maxie noticed that there were no pictures anywhere of him before the age he said he came to live with his grandmother at.

Maxie thought about that and that coupled with her earlier conversation with him had her very confused. She could tell however that this was not the time to ask an more questions. Just then she heard Spinelli call from the kitchen "Dinner is ready, Maximista!" and so she headed to join him.

Chapter Thirteen:

As they sat in a small, old church Maxie was suprised to find that there really was no family. It seemed as though the whole town was there, but nobody was related to Spinelli. She grabbed Spinelli's hand as the Paster walked up to begin the funeral. Spinelli still could not believe his granny was gone. It was weird being back with all these people and scary because they knew some of his secret. Spinelli squeezed Maxie's hand tighter as the funeral began.

The Pastor looked over the crowd and began to speak "Betty Spinelli was an amazing woman. I was fortunate enough to have known her for over fourty years, before I even became a Pastor. Her only child, Rachel, was born when she was thirty-four. She loved that girl, she was her princess. She always had her in the prettest dresses. It broke her heart when she lost contact with her when she was only eighteen. She got thoguh it though, her and her husband Robert, they helped everybody. They had a wonderful relationship as well, I know a part of her died when Robert did. An even bigger part died when Rachel murdered by her husband at only thirty." Maxie let out a small gasp at that, but Spinelli didn't even seem to notice.

The Pastor continued "I don't know how that woman got through losing her daughter like that, but she did. And then she showed us how strong she was when she took in Damian, the grandson she didn't even know she had. The social workers didn't think she could handle it, but I knew she could..." the words seemed to trail off as Spinelli found him self back in time once again. A little boy was standing in a doorway with a social worker behind him. The woman spoke to another woman in the house "Are you sure you can handle him Ms. Spinelli?" she asked the older woman "I mean he doesn't even talk, I doubt he understands what's going on." she added.

Ms. Spinelli looked at the woman "He's all I have left of Rachel." she said, loweing her voice she then added "And I have a reputation." with that she took the boy by the hand and led him into the house. The social worker sighed and left. Ms. Spinelli shut the door and then walked over to the child "I'm your grandmother, Damian." she said. When Spinelli came out of the memory he saw that the service was over and people were begining to leave. He turn to Maxie to make sure she was there and then he stood up heading for the door to except the polite condolences from everyone.

Maxie stood with him as the crowd of people went past him. She could tell that he wanted to run. As she waited she thought about what she had heard, obviously there was a lot more to Spinelli then she knew and now she realized why he never mentioned his past. She had the feeling she may have only found out the tip of the iceberg today. The last woman handed Spinelli a container of food telling him she knew he wouldn't feel like cooking tonight and then it was over. Maxie again took Spinelli by the hand and they headed for the car to go back to the house for one more night.

Chapter Fourteen:

When they got back to the house they ate in almost complete silence. Maxie could tell that Spinelli was very upset and when they finished she went to Spinelli and hugged him again "It's gonna be ok, Spinelli." she told him. Spinelli nodded "The Jackel wishes to thank Maximista for coming with him." he said. Maxie looked him in the eye "You needed me. How could I not have come?" she replied. There was a long silence but Maxie broke it when she noticed a bruise on Spinelli's arm "What happened?" she asked him. Spinelli looked suprised "The Jackel does not know.".

Spinelli pondered the bruise for a while and then looked back up at Maxie "The Jackel is tired, he will retire to his childhood bedroom if Maximista does not mind." he said. Maxie was a little confused because it was very early but she knew it had been a hard day for him "Go ahead, good night, Spin!" she said. "Good night, Maximista!" he called back as he headed for his room. As Spinelli walked in his old room it hit him again that his grandmother was really gone and though he was tired he began pacing the room trying to make sense of it. He became so lost in thought that he bumped right into the corner of his old desk, as looked down and saw that he was bleeding he went back in time again.

An older woman was sitting with a young boy placing a band-aid on his arm "There you go. You'll have to be careful of that corner, Damian. That's got to be at least the third time you've done that." she said as she smiled at the child. Damian looked up at the woman, locking eyes with her and smiling. She took this as a sign and began to say what she had been wanting to for months "Damian, you've come so far since you first came to live with me. You know what? I think they're wrong about you. You're not Autistic and you know what else? I think you can talk. I bet it was really scary when the police came. Maybe even scary enough to ... well, to scare you silent." she looked down at the boy. She knew that he had understood what she said but he looked upset.

She had come far enough now, she wasn't giving up just yet "You know you're safe here. I've seen the changes in you, maybe ... maybe you couldn't talk at first but I bet you can now. Could you just try?" she saw the tears in the boys eyes and stopped. She hugged her grandson "It's ok. If you're not ready yet, I understand. Whenever you are though, I'd love to hear your voice." with that she stood up and slowly walk towards the door. Damian looked scared and there were still tears in his eyes but he finally realized that she was right, he could talk now. He took a deep breath and called out to her "Thank you, Granny.". The old woman turned around and ran to the child.

When Spinelli came out of the memory he realized that he had tears in his eyes again, but this time for the grandmother that he had lost. He looked down and saw that his arm was still bleeding. Spinelli walked back over to the desk and opened a drawer He removed a box of band-aids that his grandmother had given him for just this thing and put one to use. He walked over to his bed to lie down and realized that this would be his last night in the house. He was going home with Maxie tomorrow and the house would be sold. He just hoped that when he left the house he could leave the memories that had been haunting him as well.

Chapter Fifteen:

It had been a week since he came home from his grandmother's funeral and Spinelli was finally about to leave the house. He had told Jason he was sick, and he the more time that went by he wasn't all that sure he was lying. He'd had a tempature all week, and he felt tired and a little achy. He was feeling a little better this morning and he was sick of being stuck in his room. Spinelli headed for the coffee shop to see if he was needed.

When Spinelli walked into the backroom of the coffee shop he was shocked to see a man there that he didn't know. Jason looked up from behind the desk "Spinelli! Are you feeling better?" he asked. "Yes, Stone Cold. The Jackel wishes to know who the unknown ... protecter of the night is." Spinelli answered. Jason pulled him out of the man's earshot "This is Greg Nelson he runs a business in another state. We have never had a conflict with him and after Michael, Sonny decided to merge businesses with him. The plan is for us to slowly do less and less and then make it look like Greg took the whole thing over by force. It's the only way Sonny can think of to get us out." Jason whispered to Spinelli.

Spinelli was shocked but also releived, this could solve the problems of many people that he cared about. He knew this meant he'd have to start looking for another job - hopefully a legal one this time, but he didn't thik he'd have much trouble. "The Jackel is glad that Stone Cold and Mr. Sir have found a way to protect the ones they love." he told Jason with a smile. Now it was Jason's turn to look releived "Good. Well, you can go ... have fun. There's nothing for you to do today." he tolds his young friend. Spinelli smiled and headed out of the coffee house.

Spinelli decided to head to Crimson headquarters to see Maxie. He hadn't seen her since the day after the funeral and he missed her like crazy. He wasn't to thrilled about her knowing what she now did about her past, but he figured he could at least put off her questions by visiting her at work. Before he was even half way there he felt himself getting tired, maybe he wasn't as over this thing as he thought. He slowed his pace and kept going.

As soon as he he walked into the office he saw her, his beautiul Maximista. It didn't take long before she noticed him too, she ran for him. "Spinelli!" she cried as she pulled him into a hug "Are you feeling better? Jason said you were sick?" she added, sounding concerned. Spinelli smiled "The Jackel is feeling much better. How is the lovely Maximista?" he asked his secret crush. Maxie sat down and motioned for him to sit too "I'm fine. I'm actually off in a few minutes. You wanna go to Kelly's?" she asked him. Spinelli forgot all about being sick and beamed "Of course. I would love to!" he replied.

Chapter Sixteen:

Spinelli was glad that Kelly's wasn't a long walk, he was still tired but he didn't even care as long as he was with Maxie. When they walked in Mike gave Spinelli a knowing grin, he was one of the many people that had picked on Spinelli's huge crush on Maxie. As soon as they sat down Mike came to the table with orange soda's for them "On the house." he said before Spinelli could say word. As the old man walked off Maxie turned to Spinelli "How are you doing?" she asked him. Spinelli smiled and lied "The Jackel is feeling much better, well, I am still slightly tired but ..." Maxie cut him off "I'm glad but that's not what I meant." she said.

He sighed "The Jackel is doing fine. I am sadden by the lose of Granny but the Jackel will be fine. I always am." he told her. Spinelli decided to quickly change the subject, he leaned in close to her "Stone Cold has informed The Jackel that Mr. Sir is in the process of leaving the ... business." he whispered to her. Maxie looked shocked "Really? He didn't even do that when he thought Michael was DEAD!" she said in astonishment. Spinelli nodded "The Jackel knows of that. How ironic it is that they once thought young Michael's life had been ended by a bullet to the brain, and not it may have been." he remarked. It was Maxie's turn to nod "I just can't beleive he's leaving now." she said.

Spinelli was very releived to have successfully gotten the conversation off of himself. "The Jackel has heard all about the kidnapping of Mr. Sir's children." he told Maxie. Maxie stopped whispering "It was horrible. It's like living it all over again now though." she said. Spinelli looked puzzled "This is why the Jackel doesn't understand, why leave now? Why not when Mr. Sir thought one of his children was murdered intentionally? Why now when he was not the target?" he said a little louder then he meant too. Maxie thought for a moment "Maybe that's the point, maybe now he see's that every moment he is with them they are in danger." she commented.

Spinelli sighed "It's just sad though, if Mr. Sir had left before, when he thought Little Dude was dead, his son would not be where he is now. Little Dude would be fine." Spinelli said with a slight catch in his voice at being reminded of the childs current state. Neither one of them saw Sonny before it was too late. Sonny grabbed Spinelli by the shirt, pulling him upand Spinelli had to fight of another memory - he had to be alert now! "Do not talk about my children!" Sonny screamed at the top of his lungs. Spinelli was to scared to do anything "The ... The Jackel did not mean it the way it sounded" he stammered. Just then Mike came out of the kitchen "Sonny let him go!" the man yelled at his son. Sonny did, but violently, he threw Spinelli to the ground.

Spinelli sat up, but he had hit his head on the way down. He tried to stay brave for Maxie, but he knew there was a lot of blood. Maxie was at Spinelli side in a heartbeat she pulled him to her hugging him "Are you ok?" she asked threw her tears. "The Jackel is fine." Spinelli insisted but he could tell by the looks of people around and by the pain coming from his head that this wasn't true. Maxie eyes lit up with anger as she turned to Sonny "You are nothing but a bully!" she screamed at him "He wasn't trying to insult you, don't you get that he loves Michael too? Look what you did to him!" she was on a roll. When she turned back to Spinelli she knew now was not the time for yelling, Mike had given him a towel to hold against his head but it was almost soaked through "I'm taking you to the hospital, Spinelli" she announced.

Chapter Seventeen:

Spinelli had been taken back to a room as soon as they saw him. He was waiting for a doctor who should be there any minute. "I am fine, Maximista." he told Maxie as she paced by his bedside. Maxie looked baffled "Spin! You're still bleeding! That's not fine!" she said in slight annoyance. Finally Patrick came in and called a nurse to come help him. After looking at Spinelli's head he spoke up "You're gonna need stitches, Spin. What did you do?" he asked.

Maxie didn't let Spin say a word "That big bully Sonny practically threw him just because Spin talking about Michael!" she said, getting angry all over again. Patrick continued to examine the wound on Spinelli's head. He turned to the nurse "It shouldn't be bleeding this much. Keep presure on it." he said under his breath. Patrick looked worried "Have you been taking any medication?" he asked Spinelli. Spinelli looked startled "No, most over the counter medications tend to have an adverse affect on The Jackel." he told Patirck.

Patrick began to look even more worried "Spinelli, have you been feeling sick, lately?" he asked. Spinelli tried to play it down "A little bit but ..." Maxie cut him off "He's been tired easily and he has bruises and he doesn't know where they came from, Jason told me that he had a fever and..." as she listed the symptoms, with what little medical knowledge she had Maxie became very scared. Patrick took a deep breath "Ok, then. I'm gonna leave the nurse to do your stitches and go get another doctor, I think you need some tests." he said. As Patrick left the room Maxie felt herself sink on to the foot of Spinelli's bed. This could no be good.

Spinelli sat alone in a hospital room waiting for everyone to come back. They had sent Maxie out of the room and told him that a Dr. Wilson was on the way. Sure enough with in a few minutes the doctor was in the room with him and a nurse was drawing blood. Spin closed his eyes and went back in time. A young boy sits in hospital room surounded by people sticking him with what felt like fifty needles and he can not make him self speak - or even move. Spinelli opened his eyes, he hated that memory and he hated hated needles ever since.

They had let Maxie back in the room and she was waiting with Spinelli. Maxie knew what this could mean but she tried not to let on to Spinelli. They had said it would be a few minutes, well it had been at least half an hour. Finally Dr. Wilson came back in the room and Maxie knew from the look on his face it wasn't good. As soon as he opened his mouth her fears were comfirmed "Damian, I know that this is very hard to hear, but you have Leukemia.".

Spinelli took in a sharp breath but the doctor continued "You have had it for a while and at this point I think and bone marrow transplant may needed. Do you have any family near by?" the doctor asked. Spinelli was shell shocked "I don't have any at all." he said almost in a whisper. Maxie could tell by the look on the doctors face that this wasn't good. "We'll get you on the list and you'll need to get your friends to be tested. We'll have to start treatment imedeatly, maybe we can slow it down until we find a match." the doctor said. All the color drained out of Spinelli's face and timed seemed to stop as it hit him - he was probably going to die.

Chapter Eighteen:

The doctor left the room leaving them alone."Why does all this have to happen to me?" Spinelli asked with tears in his eyes,in the pain of the moment the security blanket of his nicknames, the safety of that little way of avoiding reality was failing. Maxie leaned in and hugged him "Spinelli, I know you don't like to talk about about it but ... at the funeral, it made me wonder even more. Spinelli, what happened when you were a child?" she asked him. There was a moment of silence and then the floodgates opened and through the tears his story came pouring out. "The Ja... I grew up in total isolation. I never knew anyone but my parents, my mother let me out in the yard, but never anything more then that. Television and the internet were my only connections with the outside world. It - it was all I knew." Spinelli paused for a moment and Maxie hugged him again "Oh, Spinelli!" she she said, but this time she didn't let go of him. It was as if she was giving him the strength to go on.

"My father, he - he was very violent. For as long as I can remember he beat me." Spinelli paused again as Maxie let out a gasp, but she motioned for him to continue so he did. "I had no escape from him and I could do nothing right in his eyes. My mother, though I beleive she loved me deeply was too afraid to ever do anything. It ... it happened daily." He had to pause for a moment to try and calm himself. "Once, when I was twelve he - he beat me so bad that ... I ... could barely move for weeks. My mother finally stood up to him that day, she told him that it had to stop and it did - until I got better." Spinelli looked over at Maxie, she had tears in her eyes but she still hadn't let him go. She seemed to silently tell him that it was ok to keep going.

"He came at me again one day and, and I guess she had finally had enough. She stood in front of me and she would not let him near me He just got madder and madder and then she yelled for me to run. I did not want to go but she yelled again "Just go!" so I did." he let out a sob and once again regained his conposure to continue. "I ran, I ran for my room and I went in it but I left the door open just a little bit. I watched. I should have done something but I - I froze! I sat in my bedroom floor and I just watched as he beat her to death!" He felt like he couldn't breathe, he had to stop again. Maxie looked up at him "I'm so sorry, Spinelli! I never knew!". He couldn't stop now, he had to get it all out and so he continued. "Once she stopped screaming, I ... I shut the door and I ran to my bed. I turned on the radio because I was still hearing her screams in my head. I curled up in a ball and something inside me just froze. I went catatonic, just like Kristina did.

Then the police came bursting in, somebody must have drove by and heard her. They came in my room and I was still in that ball, rocking back and forth. I was unable to talk, unable to make eye contact, I could barely even will myself to move and what made it worse was I jerked away everytime someone touched me. I stayed that way for a long time, they thought I was Autistic. Because of that they began to talk ... as if I wasn't there and it was revealed to me that my father was not biologicly my father at all. Someone had just left me with that man and never looked back! ... I was in a group home for a while. Nobody talked to there, so I made up names for everybody - like the nicknames of the people I knew on the internet, I was the ace of cyberspace at a very young age. It was months before they found Granny so the naming just stuck."

Spinelli paused for a moment. No words were spoken between him and Maxie, she was still holding on to him, willing him to keep going. "Grandpa was already gone when I moved in with Granny. I was all she had left. She spent time with me, she talked to me, she told me about when my mother was a child. After a while she broke through, it was slow but I regained what I had lost that night. Once I could speak again I was sent to school.They tried to put me in special education, they did not know that what my mother had not taught me I had learned online. Once I was put in normal classes I was instantly picked out as the freak, tormented daily - again - though it was no where was as bad as my early years. Then once I finished school I moved away, as far away as I could get from all reminders of my past. You know the rest." Spinelli stopped again, but this time he was finally finished.

After years of hiding it, he had finally released the presure that had been building for so long. The silence surrounded them as they sat in that cold hospital room, a young girl with her arms around a boy as he sat on the edge of a hospital bed crying. As he sat there he began to wonder if he had finally released his past only to have lost his future.

Chapter Ninteen:

It was the next morning and neither Maxie or Spinelli had gotten any sleep. Spinelli had been poked, prodded and tested almost all night. They had tested him to find out his tissue type, not they needed donors to test and Maxie had wasted no time. As they began to set up for Spinelli to start chemotherapy Maxie called everyone she knew. As she walked out of his hospital room she smiled for the first time that day. It looked like the entire town had shown up to be tested.

As Maxie got closer she started to count who was there but soon realized it was easier to count who wasn't. People she hadn't even thought to call were there for Spinelli. Maxie felt releived, she had been tested last night but she knew they needed more people "Good thing it's a Saturday." she said under her breath. As she stood watching Mike came out of a room and headed straight for her "How's he doing?" he asked in an almost panicked voice. Maxie's face fell "Not good. He's scared and upset, he doesn't have a good chance. They said the best chance is a sibling and he doesn't even know who his father is! And even if he does get a transplant there's a thirty-five percent chance he still won't make it. It's not fair!" Maxie said with tears in her eyes.

Mike looked crushed "He's gonna be okay, Maxie. He has to be. We can't lose two innocent people in just a matter of months." he said on the verge of tears. With that Mike left and Maxie just stoof there for a while watching the line of people going in to get tested for Spinelli, her best friend, the man she was in love with. Finally Maxie realized that Spinelli would be wondering where she was so she headed back to his room. Spinelli tried to smile when she walked in "Hello beautiful Maximista!" he said. Maxie tried to sound like she wasn't worried "Spinelli, I think the whole town has shown up to be tested for you! You wouldn't beleive it!" she said with a smile.

Spinelli tried to act like this cheered him up "That's great!" he told her. Neither one of them knew what to say, and so they said nothing and just sat together. They spent most of the day like this just sitting together, not saying much as doctors came in and out to do more and more tests on Spinelli. Maxie could see the look on his face everytime they brought in another needle, she knew that for some reason this was one more thing that held bad memories for him. After dinner Jason finally showed up.

Jason was devastated about what was happening to his young friend. He didn't think he could handle losing yet another person who was close to him. "Hey, Spinelli." he said, sitting in chair beside the bed "Are you ok?" he asked. Spinelli tried to be strong for his role model "The Jackel is fine." he said. Jason knew he was lying "Spinelli you can tell me the truth." he said softly. There was a long silence "I'm scared." Spinelli whispered.

Chapter Twenty:

Maxie woke up and headed down stairs, Jason had sent her home the night before and stayed with Spinelli. When she saw Mac she hugged him "Thank you for coming to be tested for Spinelli, I know you don't like him." she said. Mac smiled at daughter "He's your best friend and just because I don't like him doesn't mean he deserves to die." he told her. As Maxie grabbed a quick breakfast he thought of how she had known way to much loss in her young life, for someone of only twenty-one, she'd been though more then most people in their entire lives. When she headed for the door he called after her "I'm sure it will be ok, Maxie!".

Spinelli sat with Jason in his hospital room. He still couldn't beleive what had happened in the past few days. Could his life really end like this? So soon? Jason sat beside him in silence as he often did but he was lost in thought as well. He had lost Michael, who had really been his first child and he might as well have lost Jake. He couldn't beleive that now he might lose someone else he thought of as a son.

The awkward silence was driving Spinelli insane so he was very glad to see Patirck when he walked in. As a doctor Patrick was used to dealing with sick people, but that didn't really make it much easier to see his friend like that. "Hey, Spin! I decided to check in on you before my shift. You doing ok?" he asked the young man. Spinelli shrugged "Well, they set everything up for today, all the tests and things, The Jackel starts chemotherapy in a few hours but I feel ok now." Spinelli said. It was driving Patrick crazy that he couldn't do anything to help his friend - he was a doctor, he hated feeling so helpless. "You'll be fine, Spin. If anybody can beat this you can." Patrick said as he left the room.

Maxie passed Patrick as she came in the room. She gave her friend a hug and then quickly found a movie to watch to try and take both their minds off of reality. It seemed to work but as soon as it was over the Dr. Wilson came back in and they began to prepare Spinelli to start chemotherapy. Maxie felt totally helpless the rest of the day as all she could to was sit with Spinelli. When Spinelli was finally able to go to sleep she turned to Jason who had barely been noticeable all day.

Maxie sighed "It just isn't fair Jason. He's been through so much." she said. Jason looked up "I know. I get the feeling his childhood wasn't the best. He doesn't talk about it though." he said. Maxie looked shocked, she had assumed Jason knew "He never told you? Jason he was horribly abused. He knew no one but his mother and step-father until he was twelve and saw his mother beaten to death for protecting him. Then he was taken in to foster care. It's how he ended up with his grandmother." she told him, again horrified at the details. Jason was shocked but it all seemed to click "I guess that makes sense. What about his father?" he asked. "He doesn't have a clue who he is." Maxie replied and with that they both went back to silently sitting at Spinelli's bedside.

Chapter Twenty-One:

Maxie had stayed overnight and called to say she would be in late, she knew they would have the results for all the people that came to be tested today. The seconds seemed like hours but finally Dr. Wilson came in. Spinelli could tell from the look on his face that it wasn't good. The doctor took a deep breath "We are not through going going through the registry yet but so far we have not found a match." he said. Timed seem to go into slow motion as Maxie hugged him and Jason grabbed his hand. When Spinelli came out of his daze the doctor was gone and Maxie was leaving, she had to call people to let them know before work.

Maxie made a few calls and told everyone to spread the news, grim as it was. Just as she was about to call Mike he walked over to her "Did they find a match?" he asked her. Maxie took a deep breath "No. They said they aren't through with the registry but there's no match so far. I can't lose him Mike, he'll be the third ..." she trailed off but Mike knew what she meant, it was obvious she had fallen for the boy. It hit Mike hard but he knew what he had to do "It's gonna be alright, Maxie. There's still one thing left." he said. Before she could reply he had walked away and she didn't have time before work to follow.

This was the last thing that Mike had wanted to do. He had hoped and prayed that it wouldn't come to this but it had and he wasn't gonna let Spinelli die, that had been the point all along. Mike paused for a moment to collect himself before he opened the door to the backroom of Sonny's coffee shop. Just as he has hoped Sonny was alone "Hey, dad." Sonny said when he saw him. Mike didn't have time for chit-chat "Hello Sonny. You know that Spinelli has what Kristina has and he needs a bone marrow transplant, right?" he said to his son. Sonny looked confused "Yeah." he said slowly. Mike paused for a moment, how was he going to explain this?

Finally he replied "You and Morgan have to be tested." he said. Sonny looked confused and annoyed "Why? And Morgan can't be tested, kids can't give bone marrow transplants to people they aren't related to." he said. Mike decided just to spit it out "He is related to him. Spinelli is your son." he said. Sonny went from shock to confusion to anger and disbelief within seconds "How can he be my son? And how would you know?!" he yelled. Mike knew there was no backing out now "Remember Rachel?" he said "Did you even know her last name?". Sonny remembered, but he still didn't beleive it "How do you know about her?" he asked.

Mike sighed "She came looking for you and found me. She was pregnant and her father had kicked her out. She said she was 100 sure it was yours." he told Sonny. Sonny was still in denial "So? Just because he has the same last name doesn't mean he's my child!". Mike took a step toward Sonny "She sent me a letter when the baby was born, Sonny. She said she'd had a boy on the same day Spinelli was born and named him Damian Millhouse Spinelli. She said she was getting married and they'd be fine but she wanted you to know. I didn't know where you where though.". Sonny couldn't beleive it "Maybe it's a different kid." he said, slightly panicking thinking of how badly he had treated Spinelli.

Mike shook his head "No, after I found you again, I looked him up, to make sure he was ok and, it took a long time but when I finally found him he was living with his grandmother, Betty Spinelli in the same town Spinelli comes from. It's him." he said. Now Sonny was furious "You knew I had a child and you didn't tell me?" he screamed at his father. Mike stood his ground "I saw how you were living and I thought he was happy. I didn't want him to be in any danger. Every time I'd almost tell you something else would happen, to you or the kids. I didnt want him to end up like Lily or ... or Michael." he said. Sonny sank back into his desk chair "My son? Spinelli is my son?" he said, trying to let it sink in. Mike put his hand on his shoulder "Yes. And now you have to be there for him. You and Morgan may be his only chance to survive.".

Chapter Twenty-Two:

Morgan and Kristina sat on a couch in a the hospital waiting room waiting for their father to come talk to them. Their mothers sat at the other end of the room getting along for once. "Can you believe it?" Carly asked Alexis. Alexis shook her head "No. It's totally out of the blue. Are you gonna let Morgan be tested?" she replied. Carly seemed slightly hurt that Alexis even asked "I'm not just gonna let Spinelli die. I mean, Sonny has to explain it to Morgan, but I don't think he'll have a problem with it." she answered. At that moment Sonny came in and head for his youngest children.

"Daddy!" Kristina yelled as she ran to her father with Morgan close behind. Sonny hugged them and then lead them back to the couch and sat the down. He sat on a couch opposite them and began to talk "You guys know Spinelli?" he asked all thought he knew what the answer was. Morgan nodded, "Yeah, he's really cool!" Kristina said with a smile. Sonny took a deep breath "Well, I have something to tell you guys about him. I didn't know until earlier today but it turns out that Spinelli is my son. He's your brother." he told his children. Morgan's face lit up and Kristina jumped out of her seat "Really? He is? Cool! But, Daddy, why did we have to come to the hospital?" she asked.

Sonny motioned for her to it back down "Kristina, remember when you were sick? You needed the special blood to get better that you got from Sam's baby." Kristina nodded and Morgan did too, he the story. Sonny continued "Well, Spinelli is sick just like that. He needs the special blood too. So we're here so that we can go see him and so that - if Morgan wants to he can go be tested with me to see if one of us can give Spinelli the special blood." he said. Morgan looked up at Sonny "If I give him the special blood he'll get better like, Kristina, right?" he asked. Sonny decided not to tell the young children that he could still die "Yes, he will." he said. Morgan smiled "Then I want to do it." he said. Kristina cut in "Can we go see Spinelli now?" she asked. Sonny smiled at her "In just a few minutes, Grandpa Mike is talking to him now." he told her.

Mike walked into Spinelli's hospital room "How are you doing?" he asked, glad to see that Spinelli was alone for once. Spinelli turned to him "Ok, a little tired, but I'm doing ok right now." he said. Mike sat down beside Spinelli "I have something to tell you and it's going to be hard to understand so I'm just gonna jump right in. First I want you to know that he never knew, ok. Sonny is your father." Mike told his grandson. Spinelli was in shock, this man that hated him so much was his father? Then he realized it also meant that Mike was his grandfather and Michael, Morgan and Kristina were his little brother and sister. That part he liked, it explained the conection he had always felt to the children, then he remembered that Michael was adopted. He felt himself smile, he figured there were some things you just know. Then his face fell when he realized that Michael might not even get to know this.

Spinelli them remembered that Mike was still in the room "How did you find out?" he asked. Mike knew this would be the hardest part to explain "I've always known. At first I didn't know how to find Sonny but then when we met again I started looking for you, it took a long time, years but when I did you were living with your grandmother. I knew something bad had to happened for you to end up there instead of with your mother but I had seen enough of Sonny's life to know you were safer there. There were so many times I almost told, but then something else would happen. I couldn't let you be hurt like Michael, Morgan and Kristina were. You were the only one I could protect, so I had to." Mike told him with tears in his eyes. Spinelli knew that if he hadn't found him until he was with his grandmother Mike really had kept him safe. He tried to smile "The Jackel knows. I just, I can't stop thinking that maybe I could have protected Michael, Morgan and Kristina if we knew before. Maybe I would have even been in the warehouse and Michael wouldn't have been standing there." Spinelli stopped because he was starting to cry.

Mike placed his hand on Spinelli's shoulder "It's ok. There was nothing you could have done, that's on me." he said. Spinelli was silent for a minute "The Jackel will want to know more later but, I am to overwhelmed at the moment." he told his new-found grandfather. Mike smiled "I understand, Spinelli." he said. They sat in silence for a moment and then Mike spoke up again "Sonny is waiting outside with Morgan and Kristina. Do you want to see them?" he asked. The young man smiled again "Yes, please go get them ... Grandsir." he replied.

Chapter Twenty-Three:

The door to the hospital room opened and Kristina and Morgan ran in. The small children ran to the young man in the hospital bed excitedly hugging him. Morgan was the first to speak "You're really our big brother!" he said. Spinelli smiled "I really am." he told the child. The children sat at the end of his bed and Kristina looked at him "Does this mean we get to see you more?" she asked. Spinelli laughed "I hope so!" he replied. As he sat with the children something clicked for him, he had a family. A quite disfunctional one and one that would take a while to fit into, but he still had a family.

There was a long silence from everyone in the room and Spinelli looked around, his father, his grandfather, his little brother, his little sister. It was so much to take in. Little Kristina broke the silence "Daddy says you're sick like I was." she said. Spinelli had almost forgotten in the midst of all that was going on but she shook it of, he could scare the kids "Yeah, I am, Krissy." he said. Morgan who didn't really understand what was going on yet turned to Spinelli "I'm gonna be tested-ed. I might can make you all better." he said. Spinelli smiled and cheared up again as he remembered what he had been told "The best chance is a sibling.", well now he has one that can be tested. Spinelli reached for the six year old and put him in his lap "Thank you very much." he told him.

For the next hour or so he sat talking with his new-found siblings. All they could talk about was "When you get better..." and he hoped beyond hope that it would happen. He had finally found his family, he didn't want to leave it yet. Through the whole thing Sonny stood silently in the corner and watched. Spinelli forced himself not to wonder what the man was thinking. The man that had put him in the hospital - which had actually turned out to be a blessing - had just found out he was his father and that kind of scared him.

Finally the children's mothers came in and said it was time to go. He exchanged hugs and "I love you"'s with his new siblings and then they left. Kristina to go home and Morgan to find out if he would be the one to save Spinelli's life. When they left Spinelli turned to Sonny who finally spoke "I promise you I never knew." he said. Spinelli felt a rush of emotions go through his body but somehow he stayed calm "I beleive you." he replied.

Sonny was obviously very uncomfertable "I have to go be tested as well, but I want to tell you I'm sorry. I never should have treated you like that." and with that he left the room. Spinelli leaned back and closed his eyes trying again to make sense of all that was happening. Mike sat down beside him and spoke "He's feeling very guilty, Spinelli. His step-father was abusive, I know it's eating him alive that he hurt his own child." he told Spinelli. It was only then that Spinelli remembered the story and it hit him just how cruelly history had repeated itself.

Maxie was walking down the hospital hallway heading for Spinelli's room when she saw Morgan. "Hey, Morgan! What are you doing here?" she called to the little boy. He came running to her "I just got tested to see if my special blood can help Spinelli. He's my big brother!" the child excitedly said.

Chapter Twenty-Four:

Maxie was in shock. Carly had confirmed that it was true and then taken her son home. Maxie stood frozen in the hallway, the man that had put Spinelli in the hospital because of his strange hate for the young man was his father? It didn't make any sense. Then she saw him coming down the hallway and she snapped.

She made a beline for Sonny "You are his father?!" she screamed. He started to reply but she didn't let him. "How could you of all people abandon your son? You are even more heartless then I thought!" Maxie yelled barely taking a breath. A crowd began to gather but Maxie didn't even notice "You're the one that put him in the hospital in the first place! What are you even doing here? Oh, wait let me guess, all the sudden you care about him and out of the goodness of your own heart you're getting tested?" she continued getting closer and closer to Sonny.

The crowd was fasinated, Maxie was screaming at this man that almost the entire town was afraid off. Sonny tried to explain "I am - I just want to help him!" he said. Maxie shot him down "Yeah, right! Who's paying you to try to save your own son?" she replied. Sonny actually looked hurt by this "Nobody! I want to help him!" he yelled. Maxie wasn't having it "You are such a monster! How could you do this to him?" she again screamed with tears building up in her eyes.

Sonny was in shock but Maxie was just getting started. She took a breath and began again "You complain about your own past and yeah, it sucked but do you even know what you put your son through by abandoning him? He had it way worse then you!" she screamed. Sonny was horrifed and the crowd of bewildered people continued to grow. "Your step father was abusive but at least you had a chnce of defending yourself! He can't even remember a time when his stepfather wasn't there beating him! You were locked in closets, but you got out! Spinelli never left his house until he was twelve! Your mother died, he witnessed his step-father beat his mother to death when he was twelve! How could you leave him with that man?!" she screamed, tears flowing.

Sonny backed against the wall, this couldn't be happening. At this point Jason walked in and saw what was going on. Maxie wasn't finished with Sonny yet though, she went on "You torment him about his nicknames, you don't even know why he does it. You - you take care of Kristina when she's catatonic because of you. Where were you when he was catatonic for months after the murder? Where were you when he was in foster care? All this tough talk about protecting your kids at all costs. What about him!" she said begining to sob.

Jason knew this wasn't good but he couldn't make his way to Sonny from where he was. Maxie took a few deep breaths to calm her self and then looked up, her eyes filled with anger "The only contact you've ever had with him was making his life more miserable. If you aren't a match don't you ever come near him again. You don't deserve to me a father. Michael was shot by your side, Spinelli was nearly beaten to death across the county. Your children aren't safe with you or without you." she said with a disgusted look on her face. Sonny couldn't take anymore he ran out of the hospital and Jason followed him.