Title: Hate to like

Note: This is Lois's random rant about Lana and Clark and general nitpicking and observations It's mild Lana bashing but it resolves itself.

I don't hate Lana exactly, hate is a strong word that I use too often and feel bad at not regretting later. My mouth tends to function a good ten minutes after my brain so once the word is out and the damage done I have ten minutes of blissful ignorance until I realise what a rude bitch I've been and have to hurry to find the insulted individual. Usually It wouldn't bother me because my pride gets the better of me and most of the time it's people like my father or annoying telemarketers who get the brunt of it so it's not too much of a problem. However when you insult and tease (mostly on purpose) people that don't know you and live in a small hick town where everyone normal is creepily nice to each other it's hard to win them back and with Lana Lang the golden girl and rosy apple of farm boy's eye it's hard to actually want to.

I don't like not liking people because of trivial reasons and my own prejudice because I like to think I'm bigger than that but I'm obviously not and Lana of course turns the other cheek over and over that it makes me more annoyed that she doesn't just blow up and make a mistake like every normal human being.

I don't hate Lana but I hate the way Clark loses himself and becomes a passive follower whenever she's around and will do whatever she wants without question and pines after her. There's always all this sub-text of longing and adoration under the cordial hellos and goodbyes as well. It not just goodbye with Lana it's a stand-in-the-doorway, look-deep-into-Clark's-eyes-for-far-too-long with-a-slight-wobble-of-the-bottom-lip-before-leaving goodbye. It's seriously embarrassing and really uncomfortable to have to witness.

The Clark I know gives as good as he gets and says what he thinks but with Lana he recedes into this unsure thirteen year old that's awestruck and almost fearful that his eternal love Lana Lang is in his barn. I just want him to scream to her he loves her or get over her already instead of this awkward limbo they always find themselves in. At least then he'd show a different emotion other than suppressed sexual tension and silent despair whenever she's around.

I also hate that Clark likes Lana and not my cousin who if wasn't female and my first cousin I'd marry in a second. She's brilliant and it's obvious, but for years Clark has been oblivious to it all and only had eyes for Lana and to hear Chloe cry and bitch about someone as bland as the farm boy crushing her heart really pisses me off. She deserves better but for some bizarre reason (I put it down to the meteor rocks) she can't get over him and of course he can't get over Lana and of course Lana can't get over herself and so I'm on the receiving end of a complete mess and wish they all grew up already. I mean I don't have a melodramatic love triangle or love interest but I'm happy and relatively carefree unlike everyone else who is loaded up with emotional baggage and unrequited love before they even graduate high school. Why couldn't Clark be a bonehead jock who thinks of nothing but boobs and beer and then I could tease him and get fed up with him instead of my conscience ending up cajoling me into giving him life advice like some sort of teenage angst counsellor. As much as it annoys me, with Clark I can admire him, pity him and want to chastise him all at the same time.

I also hate the way when I first came to Smallville, Lana thought me and Clark had some sort of relationship or chemistry which is total bullshit. Just because we fight with each other and challenge each other doesn't mean we'll be running from prom king or queen anytime soon. Brothers and sisters fight like we do and I'm sure so would Lana and Clark if they both weren't so good natured and passive to not want to disagree with each other. If that wasn't bad enough she actually looked jealous even though it's obvious she's still the keeper of his heart and she broke up with him! I wanted to tell her she should let him off the hook so Chloe could spent more time with him instead of reeling him in at her convenience to either flirt with or emotionally torture and guilt trip him.

I do feel sorry for her in the fact she's always the victim to crazy meteor freak stalkers and killers but she's never stopped being the innocent victim as if the whole world is constantly on her shoulders. I know it's insensitive considering her past but no one has it easy (and some people have it a damn sight worse than her) but you move on and you deal! She's such a good girl I bet if she got a speeding ticket she'd suffer a shame spiral and reflect on what sort of human being she was.

I'm a petty, unempathetic stirrer I know but I think Smallville teens can benefit from an observer who sees things for what they are and tells it how it is.

Only I don't really want to do either because the truth hurts and my brain functions ten minutes after my mouth and as much as I hate it I am friends with these people in some form or another and I'm related to one of them and considering I have to survive in Pleasantville I might just have to live with an inner monologue that says one thing while my mouth says another.

Lana came around yesterday looking for Clark but he wasn't in. I told her so and we continued to talk about the usual stuff and it surprised me when she was talking to me how much she reminded me of Chloe sometimes, when she wasn't talking to Clark she was animated and lively and I actually didn't hate conversing with her.

Maybe Lana is more than she seems when her and the dough eyed farm boy are separated but who knows how long that will last with their history!

Typical that Lana Lang can sway even her toughest critic which I don't like but I most of all hate that I can't dislike her.