Author's Note: This is not how I normally spell stuff; this is a story meant for comedy purposes only. It is a My Immortal Parody. I do not in any way want to shag any Harry Potter characters, nor am I goff. In fact, I'm not even steampunk, though I strongly admire the culture and am an avid Abney Park fan. This story was made into its present form through using search and replace to 'dumbify' the grammar/spelling. Hopefully u'll think this is funny—but if u don't, well fuk u prep!
A/N: Hi this is mi storri about whut wud happen if the peepl in Hary Pottr wer from all the diffrent stuff like goffic and steampunk and preps and stuff like that. Ples reiow, if u don't i'll bite ur face, and dont flam or I'll just flamme u bak becuz ur probaly a fukinng prep anyway. I absolutly love {insert band}. They r so awesome and sexaay.
My name is Jennifer Ashley Lauren D'anika Atwater-Rhodes La'Rue. I am 15 yrs old and i go 2 a school called Super Awsome Magic Poeple Acadumy. I have longgggg blond hair with pink and red and green and blue and purple streaks in it, but not yellow becuz mah hair is alredy gold and not orange becuz orange is the color of prison outfits that Casey Anthony shud ware.
Muh parents died when I wuz little and I wuz in the foster system and peopl bet me and stuff lyke that, so I'm verra derpressed. I'm a very upbete person and I looooove to dance and sing and do magic wich I'm the best at at my schul becuzz I'm just realy talnted lik that.
At my schooll, ther r a lot of clycks. Ther r: Preps (omygosh I ttlly thnk they suuuuck nao), Goffs (yay!), Stempunks (nerds lol), Cybergoffs, Hipsters (ew), Emos, and this other wierrd group of peepl called the Snuggies becuz they wer black snuggies backwrds and r realy lame and stuff.
I used 2 be a prep, but now I hang out with my frend Alicia Silveria Cybrelis Ch'ang in the goff group. She is Japanese and she is so kewl and kawaii.
So one day I got up from my blak ultraaa kawaii victrian blak bed and put on a ruffly black skirt and a blak tank top with red skuls on it. I put on a black long-sleaved shirt made of fishnets and a black hat that looked supr victorian-morning-widow-style. I walked outside and ther wuz this super hawt guy, but he wuz a snuggie so I just sort of ignred him.
"Sup," this hipster guy with blond har said, walking up 2 me. He wuz werring 3D glasses with the lenses pnched out, a Ravenna Woods tee, and grey skinny jeans with tattred thrift store converse on underneath fo them.
"Hi," I replied, trying not 2 think he wuz super hott vecaus hipsters r grosssss nd annoying.
"I'm Drake," he said, sticking out his hand. I shook it ad he wuz al kawaii nd stuff.
"Hi, I'm J. Ash," I replied.
"I c ur goffic," he comented, glancing at mi cloths.
"Ya, I'm pretty goffic," I answerd, twirling me skirt so it loked like a kewl circus tent only not lame. "I'm also the best at magic and I get into allllll the plays and I sing the best in the whole shool." He loocked really imperessed and I kind of thot he wuz turned on by mi awesomness, but then Alicia showd up nd I had to go.
Alicia wuz werring a black morning-style victrian dress and a pentagram necklace. she wuz wering bright red lipstick and a dark raccoon eyeliner. I wuz waring black lipstick and sparkly eyelyner with white blush becuz foyndation gives prple acne and is sooo uglyyyyy.
"Hey Jash," Alicia said, waving at me. "Do u want 2 go 2 class now?"
"Ya," I answerd. "Only I hope none of the Snuggies show up; they're sooooo stupid."
"Okay, kawaii," she said and we went on are way.