I thought of this while listening to my iPod one day. Its a one shout full of a bunch of short little stories about times in Finn and Rachel's life. I hope you like it! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.
I: Growing Up
Prologue.
Rachel.
I never really had much of a hard life. I had a wonderful family and friends that helped me at the end of the day, and I loved them all very much. My mother and father had raised my older brother Noah and I to believe in our dreams. My mother, Shelby Puckerman-Berry, was a Broadway legend. My father, Hiram Berry, was a very successful lawyer. Being raised in a wealthy society, we were always given what we wanted, but Noah and I were very humble. We were grateful for everything that we had, we never took things for granted.
Noah and I tried to succeed in everything we set our minds to, always trying to please our parents. I was always closer to our parents then Noah was. During and after his teen years, he kinda drifted away from our parents. Noah moved to Los Angeles not long after graduating high school. I visited Noah every summer. Noah lived in L.A with his best friend, Finn Hudson. I met Finn when I was about ten years old, he was eighteen at the time, the same age as Noah. I became very close to Finn over those summers spent there.
I stayed home in San Francisco until graduation and then moved to Los Angeles to live with Noah and Finn. About three months after I moved there, Noah and Finn landed roles in a new T.V show called "Rumors". It was a show about kids going through high school dealing with sex, drugs, and drama. Finn plays Kyle Garner, the school's quarterback who falls in love with one of the school's druggies. While Noah plays Jason Surgess, the school's bad ass who had sex with everything that had a pulse. Noah got to keep his mohawk for the role, which made him ecstatic.
The show was a huge success. Critics loved it, and so did viewers. Fans and paparazzi were following them everywhere. They were flying to interviews, movie premieres, you name it, they were there. And I got to go along for the ride. Noah didn't like that I would be home alone a lot, so he asked the show's producers, and writers if I could tag along and they were fine with it. Everyone on set loved me because I was Noah's little sister. I would watch them film all the time. I was so proud of my boys. They deserved it all.
II: The Beginning of Life
Two years later,
Rachel.
We were flying to England because the show needed to do some press there. Everything was going good. I was curled up in Finn's lap on the private jet the cast shared, staring out the window. I heard Noah's phone ring and looked straight at him. He knew how much I hated his annoying "Peanut-Butter Jelly-Time" tone, but he never changed the damn thing. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, receiving a smirk from him. I looked back out the window, while Finn leaned down smiled, and kissed my forehead. Finn and I became even closer after I moved out to L.A. It was obvious we had feeling for each other but we never acted on them. Finn still brought girls home and I flirted with guys at the bar. And if press asked if we were dating, Finn would reply "She's a very close friend", never really denying. We snuggled, and held hands if we were with together, but we're just friends, nothing more.
I saw Noah come back into the room with a look of devastation on his face. I instantly sat up.
"Noah, who was that?" I asked, concerned. Noah just looked at me, tears brimming his eyes. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. Noah never cried. The only time he cried was when I was seven and I cut open my forehead on rock and was unconscious for two days in the hospital. Everyone was scared, but Noah was more affected saying, "It's my job to protect you, princess. And I felt like I failed because I saw your tiny body in that hospital bed, and I realized that I could have prevented it". That's why I loved my brother so much.
I stepped closer to Noah, reacting up to touch his cheek. "Noah.. what happened?" After I asked, he wrapped his arms around me like he was hanging on for his life. His body started shaking with his sobs.
"I'm so sorry, princess." He just kept repeating it over and over. All the cast members in the plane were silent, and watched us. I didn't know what was going on, I was so confused. I felt tears falling down my cheeks, and realized I was crying because I was scared of what was going on.
"Noah, please.. tell me what's going on." I pleaded. He kept shaking and sobbing.
"They're gone, princess. I'm so sorry." He whispered, crying harder.
"No, who's gone?" I asked, scared for what the answer would be. Who could have died? Nana and Papa? No, Noah wouldn't be this sad if Nana and Papa died. Maybe it was Uncle Leroy and Uncle Jamie, Noah was very close to them, but I don't think he would be sobbing. And it couldn't be Mama and Daddy could it? No, I just spoke them four hours ago when we were boarding the plane, they were perfectly fine. So who could it be?
"No, please tell me.." I asked again. He looked up, his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He pressed his lips to my head and held them there for a while until he finally whispered, "Mama and Dad."
I just stood there, trying to process what Noah just said. No, it couldn't be. I just talked to them, they were saying they would come visit me and Noah at the end of the month. They were laughing and sounded happy. They didn't sound like anything was wrong, or one of them was hurt. They said they were so proud of Noah and they were happy I was doing well. They can't be gone, no, it was a mistake. But it wasn't a mistake, I knew that. I knew Noah wouldn't lie to me. I knew this wasn't a joke.
I started crying harder, as I finally realized what had happened. Noah held me closer, stroking the back of my head. He kept kissing my head, and crying with me. We were both realizing we only had each other now. There was no Mama, or Daddy to go to in need anymore. No more listening to Mama sing me to sleep, or Daddy yelling at Noah for swinging a bat in the house and breaking a vase. No more going home to the smell of home-baked pies, and Daddy's cigars. It was just Noah and I, on a plane, without a Mama or Daddy telling us they love us, or they're proud of us. We only hear the hum of the engine, and the whimpering of others around us, mourning our loss.
I held Noah close, sobbing into his neck. His crying had slowed down some, but mine was just starting. I felt like screaming, screaming for them to come back and hold me and tell me everything will be alright. But they weren't there, and they won't be ever again. They are gone.. forever.
III: Grieving In New Ways
Two Months Later,
Rachel.
I felt like I'd been crying non-stop for months, which I have been. I wasn't Rachel Barbra Berry anymore. I was just Rachel, the girl who woke up in the middle of the night screaming. The girl who didn't talk anymore, lost fifteen pounds, never left her room. I was a shell of the girl I used to be. It'd been two months since my parents died in a fatal car accident. It felt like it was just yesterday though. I know my parents would want me to be happy and live my life like I was before the accident, but I just can't. I feel guilty when I do, like if they can't live their life, why should I be able to? Why was it them and not me? Why them at all? They didn't do anything wrong, and they deserved to live. They still had so much life left in them too! I just don't understand why it was them.
I heard yelling outside my bedroom door, the voices were loud. One sounded really angry and hurt and the other one just sounded tired and sad. Realizing it was Finn and Noah, I started to cry. They'd been yelling a lot lately. Mostly about me, and about how I wasn't talking or eating and it was really scaring Finn. Finn was hurt by the death of my parents too, considering he'd known them for ten years. They always thought Finn was a wonderful gentleman, which he was. I saw Finn crying numerous times at the funeral and several times after that also. And I'd never seen Finn cry before, not once.
"Puck, she won't come out of that goddamn room, she won't eat, she hasn't spoken a word since she found out! It's scaring me, she's hurting herself by doing this, she could get sick!" Finn screamed.
"Oh, you don't think she's already sick? Our fucking parents died, Finn! Mama and Dad loved her the most, and she knew it. They were the people she went to when she needed help and now they're not here anymore! She's still so young! She still needs her mom and dad. Fuck Finn, even I still need my mom and dad! And they're not here anymore! And they never will be!" Noah yelled back.
"Puck.. You know I don't exactly know what it's like to have a mom and a dad. Your parents were the closet thing I had to that! But I care so much for Rachel, I want to hold her, and tell her she can get through this, because she can! She's so strong, she always has been, and she can get through this. But when she's in that goddamn room, I can't! You know as well as I do how overwhelming the feeling to protect her is, but I can't! I feel horrible at night when I hear her screaming and I can't do a fucking thing about it! She doesn't eat, she looks like she's dying! I can't even imagine how you guys are feeling but.. I just can't.." Finn voice stopped, and I heard what sounded like sobbing. Finn was crying again. I heard whispers, signaling Noah was probably hugging Finn and hushing him.
I walked up to my door, shaking as I stood. I slowly turned the knob, and the image I imagined was right in front of me. Noah was hugging Finn, while Finn's body was shaking with sobs. I started to cry. They looked so tired, and worried. I felt bad that I had caused all this. Just because I was hurt, didn't mean I had to hurt others even more in the process. Noah finally pulled away and looked at me, his eyes had bags underneath them. He slowly walked towards me, and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I cried into this chest, he kissed my forehead and whispered, "I missed you so much". I nodded, letting him know I felt the same. He pulled away after kissing my head again.
I looked over at Finn who was still crying, looking at me with a hurt expression. I ran into this arms, and held him close to me. He started crying into my neck while I soaked his shirt with tears. I lifted my head a bit and kissed his jaw.
"I'm so sorry, baby." I whispered. He picked his head up, locking eyes with me.
"Don't apologize, you have no reason to." He whispered back. His eyes looked hurt, and tired, but still gorgeous. I lifted myself onto my toes, and kissed him. Something I've been wanting to do since I was fourteen. I pulled away, and whispered "I love you" against his lips.
"I love you too" He replied, closing the gap between us. Somehow kissing Finn made it seem like things would be okay. The kisses tasted like salt, from the tears we were shedding. They were soft and sweet, but full of emotion.
I pulled away and rested my foreheads against his, tears rolling down both our faces. His hand reached up and touched my cheek softly, wiping away my tears. I nuzzled my face into hand. I looked up into his whiskey eyes, whispering a sweet "Come lay with me." and receiving a breathy "Okay." back.
IV: First Time
Finn.
I scooped up Rachel in my arms before gently laying her down on her bed and then quickly wrapping my arms around her while she snuggled into my chest. Rachel was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. There wasn't a part of her I didn't love. She had long, soft brown hair that graced her head. She had beautiful brown eyes, that left me breathless. Her perfectly imperfect nose that I always loved to kiss. Her soft, full lips. Her radiant smile that could light up my whole day. Her soft, olive skin on her arms. Her long, graceful fingers. Her small, yet perfect breasts. Her long legs that went on for days. Her small, cute feet. I loved every little thing about her. She's grown up to become a remarkable woman.
I watched her chest rise and fall, breathing in and out. It was soothing. She leaned up and kissed me with her soft lips. Her kisses tasted like candy. She slowly opened her mouth, letting my tongue slip inside. Our tongues danced in our mouths. I groaned, loving the contact. She rolled on top of me, and straddled my waist. I put my hands on her hips, rubbing her sides up and down slowly. She moaned softly, letting me know she also enjoyed the contact. Her fingers danced down my chest, pulling on the hem of my shirt. I slowly reached down and took off my shirt. She started tracing my abs, kissing all the way from my collarbone to my abdomen. I let out a breathy moan. She then took off her shirt, letting me see her naked chest. Her small, perky breasts and her dark, chocolate nipples.
"Rach-" I started to protest, I didn't want us to get to far, knowing she's probably only doing this because she's vulnerable.
She hushed me softly, "I want to do this, Finn. I really do." She whispered, leaning down and kissing me, making our bare chests touch. I moaned, and I felt her nipples harden.
"Touch me, Finn." She whispered against my lips. I instantly grew hard. I reached up and gently touched her right beast. I massaged it softly, then took her nipple between my thumb and pointer finger. She threw her head back in pleasure, moaning softly. She slowly began to move her hips against my groin. I groaned, feeling the friction of her rubbing against my painfully hard member. I took her left breast into my mouth and slowly circled her nipple with my tongue. She moaned again, this time a bit louder. I was falling in love with the sounds she was making.
She started pulling down my sweatpants and my boxers while I slid off her shorts and panties. I flipped her beneath me, she looked up at me with those brown orbs I loved so much, they were dark, full of lust.
"Touch me, Finn.. please." She asked, breathy. I slowly trailed my fingers down her stomach and abdomen and reached her wet, warm core. I slowly circled her clit, receiving a breathy moan from her soft lips. I then slowly slipped one finger into her, pumping in and out softly.
"More." She pleaded, I slipped another finger in, pumping a little harder. She almost cried out in pleasure, I realized she was close.
"I need you, Finn.." She whispered. I took my fingers out. I slowly replaced them with my hard member. Pushing myself inside of her, I felt her brake, realizing this was her first time.
"Baby," I started, slowly pulling out.
"No, stay inside me." She interrupted, "Just give me a minute."
I slipped back inside of her. She nodded, signaling me to keep going. I slowly pushed in and out of her. She moaned a breathy, "Harder." I started pumping harder. She ran her nails down my back, I felt her walls tighten around me. She screamed my name in pleasure as her body started to convulse. I came right after her, moaning her name. I pulled out slowly and laid down beside her, pulling her close to me, and kissing her head.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too." She whispered back, "Always have."
We both fell asleep that night with smiles on our faces for the first time in a long time.
V: Surprise
Two months later,
Finn.
Things have kind of gotten back to normal around here. Puck and I are back at work, Rachel is acting like herself again. Except this time, she's my Rachel. We decided to actual become a couple after that night a month ago. I've never felt more happy then to be able to kiss Rachel whenever I wanted to, in front of anyone I wanted to, and have there be no problem.
I'm happy to see that Puck and Rachel are trying to live their lives again, because it's what their parents would've wanted. Shelby and Hiram weren't the kind of people that liked sympathy. They were the kind of people that smiled and said everything's going to be alright. They never liked crying, "It's a sign of weakness" they always said.
One day, Rachel, Puck and I decided to have a movie night, just to do something together, because we haven't in a while. Lately, I mostly spent all my free time with Rachel since we became a couple and she has came down with the flu a couple weeks ago. I decided we watch a scary movie, and Puck agreed. We started to get everything ready while Rachel said she was going to go change her clothes.
We were pushing on thirty minutes and Rachel still hadn't come out yet, I grew worried.
I excused myself from Puck and went to Mine and Rachel's bedroom. I knocked on the door,
"Rach, baby, are you okay?" I didn't get a reply. I slowly turned the knob, and went into the closet. There she was, unconscious on the closet floor. I quickly knelt down and picked her up in my arms.
"Noah, call 911!" I screamed. I started crying. I checked to see if she had a pulse, and she did. Thank god.
"Baby, please wake up. Please.." I kissed her jaw, pushing so hair out of her face.
"Noah!" I screamed again, he ran in the room. He looked at Rachel, then at me. I could already tell what question he was gonna ask before her asked it, "She's still has a pulse" He let out a sigh of relief. He knelt down next to me and touched her cheek while telling the people on the other line she still had a pulse but that they needed to come quick.
Every went by in a blur, I sat in the ambulance next to Rachel. She looked so pale, she had an oxygen mask on over her mouth. The medics said she's breathing again, which is good. When we get to the hospital, everything starts moving so fast. I try to hold onto Rachel but they tell me they need to take some tests. I released Rachel's hand, kissing it, watching the doctors run her stretcher down the hallway.
Puck ran in two minutes later, sitting next to me in the lobby.
"What happened?" He asked softly. I shook my head.
My voice cracked as I spoke, "I don't know. They said she started breathing again, but when we reached the hospital, they just pulled her away." I looked down, releasing tears. Puck pulled me into a hug.
"You know she's strong. She'll get through this." He whispered. I nodded, holding onto him. It was good to have Puck here, other than Rachel, he's the only person that can calm me.
An hour later, a nurse came out and said we could go into Rachel's room. I almost ran down the hallway. I looked in the window and saw her petite body in bed. We walked into the room and sat down next to her bed, and kissed her forehead.
"The doctor will be here in a minute," The nurse said, before walking out. I offered her a slight smile. I looked down at Rachel again, and grabbed her hand.
The doctor walked in, checking over his clipboard. He looked up and smiled.
"Hi boys. Um, Ms. Berry hear seems to be doing just fine. She mostly likely passed out due to exhaustion and malnutrition. But we gave her some medication that should help her malnutrition, and she is sleeping due to the exhaustion. But her and the baby are fine." He smiled.
My eyes went wide, "B-Baby?" I choked out. I looked from Puck to the doctor. Puck seemed to have the same reaction I did.
"Yes, baby. You were aware Ms. Berry was pregnant, weren't you?" He asked.
"No, sir. I-I wasn't." I said, softly.
"You didn't notice any signs? Morning sickness, soreness, exhaustion?"
"We all thought she had the flu, including her.. I-I.." I looked down at Rachel, then my eyes drifted down to her stomach. There was a baby in there, a little baby growing inside my Rachel. My baby. My baby is growing inside my baby. I placed a hand on her stomach.
The doctor smiled at me, "She definitely doesn't have the flu, she's with child, son. She's about two months along." I looked down at her stomach again, and smiled. Rubbing her belly knowing my baby was in there. I looked back up at the doctor.
"Thank you, sir." I said, smiling.
"No problem, son. She should be up in a couple hours, congratulations." He smiled, turning around and walking out the door. I looked over at Noah, he smiled at me.
"Congrats, bro. I can't say I didn't see this coming, Rachel's been planning your guys wedding since she was fifteen." I laughed and looked down at Rachel, kissing her cheek.
"I'm glad you don't wanna kill me." He laughed, looking down at Rachel.
"I'm just happy they're BOTH okay," He said, smiling.
"Me too." I whispered looking down at Rachel's stomach, rubbing it lightly.
After an hour, Puck left saying he was really tired and knew Rachel would be fine if I was here. Realizing he was tired himself, he fell asleep with head on Rachel's shoulder and his hand on her stomach.
Rachel.
About two hours later, Rachel woke up to see Finn slightly snoring on her shoulder. She looked around, realizing she was in the hospital? What am I doing here? I was changing clothes, and then.. what happened? I looked down to see Finn's hand rested on my stomach. I placed my hand onto of his, and kissed his forehead. His eyes fluttered open. He looked up at me. He suddenly realized I was awake and looked relived. He placed both of his hands on each of my cheeks and kissed me slowly.
"I'm so happy you're awake." He mumbled against my lips, kissing me again. I smiled into the kiss. He pulled away slowly.
"What even happened?" I asked. He ran his hand through his hair, sighing.
"I guess, you fainted due to exhaustion and malnutrition. The doctor said you're fine now though. It just scared me so much when you didn't come out, and then you wouldn't wake up," His voice started to crack while he placed his hand on my stomach and rubbed it, tears falling.
I reached my hand up to his cheek and wiped some tears away and gave him a soft peck.
"It's okay, baby. I'm here, and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon." I smiled. He returned the smile, replying with a "Good." and kissed me again.
He kept rubbing my stomach. "Baby, why are you rubbing my tummy?" I asked, softly.
He instantly froze, he pulled his hand away and looked straight at me.
"What? What's wrong?" I asked again.
"Well, the doctor said.. t-that the exhaustion and malnutrition weren't due to you having the flu. They were due to you being..pregnant." He said, softly. I could tell he was searching my eyes for my reaction. I didn't know what to think, of course I was happy beyond belief. I mean, I'm carrying the child of the man I love. But I was also terrified. I have to go through my first pregnancy without my mama or daddy. My child wouldn't be able to know their grandparents. Mama always said she wanted to be the one to take my daughter to her first Broadway show. And Daddy always said he wanted to teach my son how to pitch a curve-ball. But now they can't, and that really bothered me.
I reached down and touched my stomach, rubbing it lightly. A child in there, my child, my baby. My baby was growing inside of me. I smiled slightly. Finn kissed my forehand and put his hand onto of mine.
I suddenly felt worried. What if Finn left me and our child? What if he realized this wasn't what he wanted? I started to cry, thinking of what would happened if he left me. Finn looked down and realized I was crying.
"Hey, hey.. baby, no. Don't cry." He said softly wiping my tears away.
"What if you leave me, leave us? I can't take care of a baby alone, I just-" I was interrupted by Finn's lips crashing onto mine. I deepened the kiss instantly. He slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes.
"I will never ever leave you, both of you. I love you so much, I love both of you so much." He said, before placing another soft kiss on my lips. I pulled away and nodded. Smiling I said, "We both love you too." He kissed me yet again, while we sat their looking at our hands placed on my stomach. We were now a family.
VI: Keep breathing, Keep Pushing.
Seven months later,
Finn.
"You did this to me!" Rachel screamed in pain. Her hand had a death grip on my hand, her nails drawing blood. "I love you, but why did you do this to me?" She screamed at me again. Rachel had been in labor for three hours now, constantly screaming rude things to me. She told me before that she was gonna say a lot things she didn't mean because she was in pain, but, I didn't realize she'd literally be screaming at me.
"Oh god, Mama. I need you! Daddy, help me! I need you guys!" She screamed looking up, all the nurses around us telling Rachel to push. She let out a scream of pain, tears falling down her gorgeous face.
"Finn! It hurts so much! Oh god, please! Stop the pain, help me!" She said to me, exhaustion and pain showed in her beautiful brown orbs. This was killing me, to see her in so much pain, but we both knew in the end, all of it would be worth it.
"Keep pushing, baby. I love you, sweetie. You need to keep pushing," I said, kissing her forehead, she nodded, pushing harder.
"I see the head, come on Rachel, just a couple more pushes!" The doctor yelled.
Fifteen minutes later, our beautiful baby girl was born. Her name was Allison Shelby Hudson. I couldn't stop crying when I saw her face, she already looked so beautiful. I didn't know I could love something so much, but I did. When I got to hold her, it felt like my world stopped. I helped create this beautiful girl. She was my baby, a baby I made with the woman I love. This was our beautiful baby girl.
"She looks so much like you," I heard Rachel whisper. I looked at Rachel, then at Allie.
"She's so beautiful" I said, holding my finger out to Allie, as she curled her hand around it.
"She's ours, Finn. We made her, together. She's all ours." Rachel said, tears falling down her face. I kissed her forehead, looking back down at Allie. "All ours," I repeated. All ours.
VII: Infidelity
Months later, Allie's five months old,
Rachel.
I walked into Finn and I's apartment with Allie in my hands.
"Come on, baby. Let's go see Daddy" I said to her, receiving a smile from her. I set her down in her playpen in the living room, and started walking towards the bedroom, I opened the door. Horrified by what was happening in front of me.
Finn was shirtless with his pants unbuttoned, with a red-head pinned up against the wall, bare chested, with her skirt pushed up around her waist. Finn was obviously pumping his fingers in and out of her. The girl was moaning in pleasure. I just stood there, unable to say anything. How could he do this to me? To Allie, to both of us? That son of a bitch. I couldn't control the tears that were falling now. I slammed the door and went into Allie's room, packing her a bag with most of her stuff. I can't stay here with Finn, not anymore.
Finn.
I heard the door slam. I stopped what I was doing, looking around.
"What the fuck was that?" I heard Emma hiss. What day was today? Thursday.. shit. Rachel came home early on Thursdays. Shit! That was Rachel! I went and opened the door, going into Allie's room to see if she was there.
"Baby-" I started. She interrupted me with a slap that hit my cheek. I looked at her, with my mouth open. Her makeup was smeared all over her face, and her eyes screamed pain. I realized what just happened. What the fuck did I just do?
"Fuck you," She spat back at me, pushing her way through the door with a bag.
"Wait, where are you going? Why are you taking Allie's bag?" I asked, stupidly. I knew exactly where she was going, and why she was taking Allie's bag. They were leaving me, because I fucked everything up.
Rachel spun around, "You think I'm going to stay with you while you FUCK other girls in our bedroom? You think I'm not going to take Allie with me? Well you're in for a hell of a surprise, Hudson. I'm leaving, taking Allie, and never coming back." She screamed at me. "Have a fucking fantastic life without us" She mumbled, turning around and going to grab Allie from her playpen.
"Rachel, please listen-" I said grabbing her arm, pleading for her to listen to me.
"I want nothing to do with you! Can you get that through your thick head? Don't try to fix this, because you can't. You already made your decision on what you want in life and obviously, it's not Allison and I!" She retorted.
"Rach, baby, I DO want you and Allie, it's just, everything happened so fast-"
"You think I don't feel the same way? I had a fucking baby after my parents died."
"Rach, I didn't mean-"
"Save it," She said turning around and grabbing Allie.
"Rachel, please! I-"
"Bye Finn." She said as she walked out our door, out of my life, with our daughter.
VIII: No Forgiveness
Months later, Allie's first birthday,
Finn.
It's been seven months since I've seen Allie or Rachel. I haven't been able to do much of anything knowing that Rachel was out there somewhere with Allie, knowing they could both be safe in my arms right now. But they aren't because of my insecurities.
I was pulled out of thought by the sound of my phone ringing. I became frustrated, which happened a lot later.
"Hello?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.
"Hi Finn, it's Rachel." The petite, gorgeous girl on the other line said. Rachel? My Rachel? Why is she calling? Is Allie hurt? Is Rachel hurt?
"Is Allie okay?" I quickly asked.
"Oh, yeah, Allie's perfectly fine. I didn't mean to scare you by calling." She replied.
I let out a sigh, "It's fine. So, why'd you call, if you don't mind me asking..?"
"Oh yes, right. Well as you know, Allie's first birthday is next Thursday,"
"Of course."
"And was wondering if you'd come to her party. It's at Mine and Noah's house, it's only going to be a small gathering. I was thinking the cast, Kurt, Blaine, my Uncle Leroy and Jamie, and your mom and Burt,.. if that's okay with you, I mean."
"O-Of course. I mean, I haven't seen Allie in so long.." Seven long, grueling months.
"And I'm sorry about that, I should have handled that situation more maturely. I shouldn't have let what happened between you and I come between you and Allie. She needs her dad." How could she blame herself? It was all my fault, I was the one who caused all of this.
"I-I..I need my little angel too." I stammered, slowly smiling, thinking of my precious little Allie.
"Of course, so I'll see you next Thursday, 12:30 to 4?"
"Yes...Wait, Rachel?"
"Yes?"
"I feel kinda stupid asking, but um.. what should I get Allie? Like, what is she into?" I felt like an idiot asking, but, I don't know what she'd like. I haven't seen her since she was five months old.
"Oh, how silly of me not to mention that! She's in love with anything pink! She's really into princesses and gold stars! And also musicals," She replied. All of those things reminded me instantly of Rachel. I let the words, "Just like her mother.." slip from my mouth before I could stop them. Shit.
"What?" Rachel asked, confused. God, I'm such an idiot.
"Oh nothing, sorry, just talking to myself." I laughed awkwardly.
"It's fine, see you next Thursday, Finn." She gave a slight giggle.
"Yeah, see you." I replied, slowing pressing the end button. Instantly picking up my keys and running out the door to go shopping for Allie.
Next Thursday rolled around quicker than I thought it would. All of the sudden, I was walking up their pathway, knocking on the door at 12:20. I hoped being a little early wouldn't be a problem.
The door suddenly opened for me to see a gorgeous, petite, brunette standing there with a smile on her face.
"Finn! Hi!" She said, brightly, making me smile.
"Hi, I hope me being a little early isn't a problem."
"Oh, not at all. Kurt and Blaine are already here, come on in." She moved to the side to let me slide in.
"Um, where would you like me to put her presents?" I asked, awkwardly.
"Oh, right on the dining room table." She pointed. I set the presents on the table, walked back over to Rachel.
She opened her arms and quickly hugged me. It was awkward, but sweet. I smiled in the embrace.
"Um, it's nice to see you again. It's been so long." She said softly.
"Yeah, it's been TOO long actually." I corrected her, receiving a slight smile from her. "It's been so lonely without you girls there," I continued, wishing I just shut my mouth. She looked at me and her eyes suddenly became overtook with pain. She didn't have time to reply until we heard little feet running towards us.
"Dada!" The little girl screamed, running into my leg and latching onto it. I looked down at her, realizing the way she looked up at me with amazement.
"Dada!" She screamed again, pulling on my paint leg. I looked over at Rachel, who had tears in her eyes, then looked back down at Allie. My god had she grown. My little angel was now walking, and talking. I missed her first steps, her first words. I missed it all because I made one mistake. I knelt down, looking at Allie, with tears in my eyes.
"Dada." She said, once again. I quickly wrapped my arms around the little girl.
I held her for what seemed like forever, but it was only a couple minutes. I released the girl, giving her a kiss on her head. She smiled at me, and then turned away, running into the living room.
"Urt! Dada!" She screamed. She was so gorgeous. She had long, curly hair just like Rachel's. She had my eyes, Rachel's voice, my smile. She was perfect. I looked back up at Rachel, she had tears rolling down her cheeks, with a smile on her face.
"Thank you" I whispered, standing up, wiping my tears away.
"It's not like I couldn't let her not know about her father, that would just be cruel. To you and to her." She said, stepping closer to me.
I wrapped my arms around Rachel, holding her close. "Just.. thank you so much." I said again. She nodded against my chest. I felt like everything was coming together again. Allie called me Dada, Rachel's in my arms. Maybe I'll have my family back.
All of the sudden Rachel pushed herself away from me a bit.
"I hope you know this doesn't change anything between us. I just wanted Allie to know her dad." She whispered, looking up to meet eyes with me.
I just nodded, not knowing what to say. Sure, it hurt so much to hear her say that, but I knew why she said it. I hurt her way more than she's hurting me right now. It's a blessing she even let me see Allie again in the first place. She slowly kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes, trying to burn the feeling of her soft lips against my skin into my brain. She mumbled a quick "Thank you for understanding." And then stalked off to the front room. I finally realized I'd never have Rachel again.
An couple hours later, everyone was hanging out, talking, catching up, and I kept finding myself staring at Rachel. The way she gracefully walked around, how good she was with Allie, how happy she was with all our friends. I found myself missing her more and more, and she was only a couple of feet away. She would look over at me every once and a while, and smile.
Allie introduced me to everyone even though I knew them all, it was cute. She'd run up to someone and be like, "Bane, Dada!" and then she'd run and hug onto my leg. She was such a little munchkin. My little munchkin.
After she opened presents and we had cake, I spent most of my time with Allie, trying to make up for all the missed time. She showed me her room, and her dollies. Her "pwetty dulls" she calls them. The last thing she showed me was Rachel. She ran up to her and put her arms up, Rachel then picked Allie up.
"Dada, Mama!" She exclaimed, pointing to Rachel.
"Sweetie, I know who Mama is." I said with a laugh, looking at Rachel. She looked back at me with a smile on her face.
"Dada wuv Mama?" Allie asked, innocently. I looked at Allie, then at Rachel, whose eyes were wide open.
"Allie-" Rachel started.
"Yeah sweetie. Daddy loves Mama." I said, giving a sad smile to Allie. Allie smiled back at me looking at Rachel. Rachel just stood there looking at me, her eyes looking sympathetic. She knew I was hurt, and I knew she was hurt. We both hurt each other, but the time we have spent apart made us love each other even more. At least, for me, that's what happened.
"Mama wuv Dada?" Allie asked Rachel. Rachel looked at Allie, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Yes baby girl. Mama loves Daddy.. very much actually." She added with a kiss to Allie's nose. Allie let out a giggle that sounded exactly like Rachel's.
Allie's little arm wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer to her and Rachel. I wrapped my arms around both of them. I felt my drops of water on my shirt and realized Rachel was crying. I pulled them closer, kissing the top of Rachel's head, hushing her.
I had the two most beautiful girls in my arms right now, my beautiful girls. We pulled away from the hug after a couple minutes.
"I think I should go.." I said looking at Rachel. She nodded, wiping some tears.
"Dada, no go!" Allie screamed, balling her hand into a fist. She looked so cute when she was mad, just like her mother.
"Daddy's gotta go, angel. Daddy has to go home and go to sleep." I said, looking at Allie with a sad smile. I didn't want to leave, but I knew Rachel was tired and the confession we both just made will need sometime to sink in for Rachel.
Allie nodded, and reached her arms out to me. I grabbed her and held her close. She snuggled into my neck. I pulled away, kissing her head. She smiled as I set her down and she went running into the living room.
I looked at Rachel, smiling.
"She's just like you," I said.
"Oh god, you should see her when she's tired, she gets all whiny, just like you." She said with a small laugh.
"I am not whiny!" I retorted.
She laughed loud after I said then, saying "Finn Hudson, you whine all the time. About shopping, waking up early, going for a run-"
"Okay, okay. I guess I do whine a lot." I said interrupting her.
"I could go on for days about what you whine about." She said, sticking her tongue out.
I laughed, wrapping my arms around her. I held her close, inhaling her sweet scent of strawberries. I pulled away, kissing her forehead.
"Just give me a call when you'd like me to see Allie again." I said.
She nodded, "Of course."
I smiled, "It was nice seeing you again, Rachel."
"Same with you, Finn" She said with a nod. I grabbed the knob and turned it slowly, turning around a looking at Rachel before I left. Praying this wouldn't be the last time I'd ever see her or Allie.
IX: Coming Home
Months later, Allie is a year and eight months old,
Finn.
I haven't seen Rachel or Allie in eight months. Rachel hasn't contacted me since Allie's party. I've tried to call her and only got her voice message. I left messages, saying I missed Allie, and that I wanted to see her. But I never got a call back. I thought things were going so good when I left them last. Why haven't I gotten a call? Are they okay? Did something happen to them? They had to be okay, someone would of told him if something happened to them, right? Right, they wouldn't keep that from him. Or maybe they would, I mean, everyone knows he cheated on Rachel. Maybe they're mad at him and realized he didn't deserve either of them. No, no, they're okay. They have to be.
I decided that I would stop by their house, and see what's wrong. I mean, Allie is his daughter, he legally has custody of her. Rachel can't just keep Allie away from him. I got in my car and drove to their house, knocking on the door. Cursing myself, realizing it was was ten o'clock at night. The door opened to reveal a tired looking Rachel, realizing it was me, her eyes went wide.
"Finn! What are you doing here?" She whisper screamed, pulling me into the house and shutting the door.
"What am I doing here? Rachel, I haven't seen my daughter in eight months! My goddamn daughter, because you wouldn't call me! So I took it upon myself to come here, and see her!" I spat back. I realized I was getting angrier with every word I said. How could Rachel be mad at me? I haven't seen my daughter in eight months, I had a reason to be here!
Rachel realized I was angry and her eyes softened. "Finn, I'm so sorry-"
"This was your plan all along, wasn't it? To let me see her, and make me believe that things were going to be okay between us and then rip it away from me? Watch me break, because I made you break," I retorted.
"Finn, I-"
"I broke with you, Rachel! When ran away from me with Allie, my world was shattered. Rachel, I'd never loved someone as much as I loved you. I watched you grow up, and turn into the woman I am now in love with. Your voice was running through my head, your sweet scent was intoxicating my lungs. It scared the living shit out of me. And then, Shelby and Hiram died. And I never felt so, useless. I couldn't protect you from the number one thing that would hurt you the most. You wouldn't talk, you became sick. I missed you so much. I missed your laugh in the morning, and your voice in the evening. I missed the way you asked Puck and I about our day. I care for you so much, and just seeing you be the shell of the girl you used to be.. I-It killed me. I thought you were dying. Then all of the sudden, you kissed me and told me you loved me. We made love and that gave us Allie! Our beautiful baby girl, Allie! It all happened so fast, it scared me. I thought that girl would help me, but she didn't... because she wasn't you, she meant nothing to me. But you.. You mean the world to me. When you and Allie left me, I wanted you back because I realized that this is my life, you two are my life, and I wouldn't want anything else." I finished, my body starting to convulse with the sobs that were now ripping out of my throat.
Rachel just stood there, crying too. Suddenly, she ran into my arms. Kissing every part of my face.
"I'm so sorry, Finn." She mumbled against my skin. She kissed my jaw, my forehead, my cheeks, my nose and then my lips. I pressed my lips hard against hers, savoring the feeling. I pulled her closer, grabbing unto her hips.
"I love you so much, I'm so sorry" She whispered against my lips. I felt water touch my lips and realized it was Rachel's tears.
"No baby, you have no reason to be sorry," I replied against her lips. "I'm sorry. I love you so much." She lifted her legs around my waist, kissing down my neck. I backed up against the wall, moaning as her tongue slide across my pulse point.
"We're both sorry for a lot." She whispered against my neck. I pulled her chin up and kissed her lips again.
"Make me yours again," She whispered, seductively against my lips.
"Never wanted anything more, baby." I replied, following her to her bedroom.
We made love, tell each other we'd never leave again. We ended up crying in the middle of it, realizing we'd hurt each other so bad. I never wanted her to leave me again. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'd missed so much of Allie's left already, I can't miss anymore.
I held Rachel close after, feeling her bare chest rise and fall against mine. She kissed my chest, looking up at me. I smirked at her, burying my face into the top of her head.
"I love you," She whispered against my chest, causing me to smile.
"I love you so much more." I felt her smile against my chest then heard her start breathing heavy. Realizing she fell asleep, I pulled her closer and fell asleep with her gorgeous body in my arms.
I woke up early that morning to a whining noise. Realizing it was Allie, I pulled away from Rachel, trying not to wake her. I tiptoed to Allie's room, opening the door.
"Daddy, Daddy!" Allie's screamed, smiling and jumping up and down. I smiled at my beautiful little girl.
I waved lightly, "Shh, baby. Mama's sleeping." I said, picking Allie up and sitting in the rocking chair next to her bed. She put a finger to her mouth. "Shh. Mama sweeping!" She whispered.
"Yes, Mama sleeping." I whispered back, smiling.
She buried her tiny head into my chest. "Daddy, miss you." She said, looking up at me with her little brown eyes. I felt tears build up in my eyes, I missed her so much. I held her closer, "I miss you too, baby girl." I whispered into my ear.
The tears starting falling down my face, I couldn't stop them. Allie was so damn cute. Her and her damn mother, both. They were my weakness. Allie looked up and say tears, she let out a cute little gasp.
"No cry, daddy. Is kay!" She exclaimed, patting my tears, causing me to laugh.
"Thank you, baby." Allie kissed my cheek and snuggled into my chest.
"Love you, Daddy." She said with a yawn.
"Love you too, baby girl, so much." I said, kissing her head.
We fell asleep in that chair, with my arms wrapped around her small body.
X: One Man And His Girls
3 weeks later,
Finn.
I was sleeping with my arms wrapping around Rachel in our house. Rachel and Allie decided to move back in last week. Things between Rachel and I were going great. We decided that honesty be the first thing in our relationship, next to our daughter. We both promised to not let what happened between us, happen again. And I promised Rachel that she was the only girl for me.
I woke up to the feeling of tiny hands patting my face.
"Daadee!" The little girl whispered, patting my face. I smiled, Allie's such a little Rachel.
"Daadee! Wake up!" She whispered again, trying to open my eyes. I tickle her side, and she giggles, waking Rachel up.
"Missed you, Daddy." She said, wrapping her arms around my neck. I pressed my lips to her forehead with a loud smack, causing her to giggle again.
"Missed you too, Baby."
Rachel looked at me, smiling. I kissed her lips softly, "Love you, princess." I whispered against her lips.
"Love you too, Finny" She whispered back, kissing me again. Suddenly, Allie pushed between us.
"No Finny, he Daddy. Muh Daddy!" Allie said, burying her head into my neck.
"Allison, you need to share Daddy with Mama." I said in a serious tone, looking down at Allie. She just looked at me and at Rachel, then me again. "Fine." She whined, looking at Rachel again. "I sorry, Mama." She said, kissing Rachel's cheek.
"It's okay, baby girl." Rachel smiled.
Allie crawled into bed with Rachel and I. Normally, Rachel would yell at Allie saying she needed to say in her bed if she wanted to be a big girl, but Rachel let it slide tonight. Rachel wrapped her arms around Allie and I wrapped my arms around both of them. I fell asleep peacefully that night, with my two gorgeous girls in my arms.
XI: Five Years, Shedding Tears.
Years later, Allie's four and two months,
Finn.
"Allie's been saying every night before bed that so hopes you don't leave again," Rachel said calmly. I was shocked, we hadn't brought this up in years. I knew my mistake, and she knew her's. We agreed to not bring it up in our future. I hadn't even thought about it for months, it was years behind us.
I looked at Rachel, not knowing what to say. Why would Allie think that? I never left her, I couldn't even think of an idea why I would.
"Why would she think that, Rachel?" I asked, accusingly. She could tell I was getting angry,
"Well, she always wonders why you weren't it any of the pictures of her and you until she was two, I didn't know what to say, so I just said you left us.." I was fuming, I left them? Rachel left me! I looked at her in disgust, how could she just lie like that? I shook my head, standing up from the couch. Rachel grabbed my arm, "But I said you came back! I said you came back because you loved us! Because you do love us, and you did come back!" She said, smiling.
I shook my head again,"Rachel! I came back because YOU left me! You made me suffer for SEVEN months, then you brought me back in, just to push me back out! I waited EIGHT months for you to call me! And you never goddamn did! It broke me, Rachel! I know what I did to you was horrible, but what you did.. was just cruel, and selfish!" I spat at her.
"I was selfish? I WAS SELFISH? You FUCKED a red-head in OUR house where we lived with our DAUGHTER because YOU thought everything was going too FUCKING fast for you! Oh yeah, what I did what TOTALLY selfish!" She screamed at me, turning around a walking toward our room.
"Rachel, watch your mouth! Allie is in her room!" I yelled, walking toward her. She turned around, causing me to bump into her.
"Just get the fuck out of my face. I don't need this right now." She mumbled, tears glistening off her cheeks.
I felt bad, my eyes softened. "Rach, I-" I was interrupted by the slamming of our bedroom door. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.
"Daddy?" A soft voice called from behind me.
"Yeah, baby?" I said, turning around.
"Is Mama leaving us?" She asked, quietly. I knelt down, looking my daughter right in the eyes.
"No, baby. Mama's just mad at Daddy right now." She nodded, looking down.
"Hey, how about we go play with your barbies while Mommy cools down, okay?" I asked, slightly smiling. I realized Rachel probably just needed some time alone.
Allie's face light up, and she start nodding, running to her room to get her favorite barbies and their huge mansion home.
We played with her barbies in the living room for a half an hour until someone came barging in the door.
"Uncle Puck!" Allie screamed, running toward him, hugging his waist.
"Hi squirt!" He said, ruffling her hair.
"Puck, what are you-" I started.
He pointed right at me, narrowing his eyes. "I'll deal with you later." He looked down at Allie. "Hey princess, where's Mama?"
Allie pointed to where she was, "Her and Daddy's room. She's mad at Daddy. She was yelling really loud." Allie said, looking down. Noah quickly kissed the top of Allie's head. He starting heading toward mine and Rachel's room.
"Puck, I-" Puck quickly knocked, and the door opened letting him slide in, then shutting again. I sighed again, looking over at Allie. She was standing where Puck just was. She looked over at me, then ran into my arms, burying her head into my chest. I could tell she was starting crying. I started trying to hush her, stroking her hair.
"Shh, baby. Mama gonna be okay, she's just a little mad and she needed Uncle Puck to help her calm down." I whispered into her ear.
"Are you gonna be okay, Daddy?" She asked through her tears looking up at me.
"Yeah, sweetie. I'll be okay." I said, kissing her forehead.
I wonder if Rachel really is okay. She never needs Puck unless it's something really bad.
I played with Allie and cheered her up until Puck came out of the room. He looked like he'd been crying. He gave me a sad nod, and then leans down kisses Allie's head then leaves. That's when I realized that something really is wrong.
I decided to put Allie to bed. I had to sing to her tonight, which meant she was really sad. I held her in my arms until she feel asleep. I slowly slipped out of her room, going to retrieve a blanket and a pillow so I could sleep on the couch. I opened the door and saw Rachel lying there, sobbing. Lying there naked, with wet hair. I ran to her and held her in my arms. It finally dawned on me. Allie is four and two months, which means its the five year anniversary of Shelby and Hiram's death. I held Rachel closer, kissing the top of her head.
"Baby.." She whispered through her tears, "Baby, I'm so sorry, I-"
I shushed her, "No, you don't apologize, baby...you just cry." Her body started convulsing in sobs as I held her closer.
We fell asleep that night with my arms around my her gorgeous naked body, both realizing we needed each other more than we ever thought.
XII: Life
Epilogue.
Rachel and Finn had been through their ups and downs. But they realized that all they needed were each other.
Allison Shelby Hudson starred as Elphaba in Broadway's Wicked, following in her grandmother's footsteps. Starring in over 8 other Broadway shows, Allie was considered a legend. Rachel and Finn attended the opening night of all of the shows, cheering their daughter on, clapping louder than everyone.
Their son, Christopher Hiram Hudson, who came along when Allie was about six, grew up to become the quarterback of the New York Giants. He lead the team to their 2018 victory at Super Bowl LII. Rachel and Finn were there for their son, Rachel running onto the field and kissing Chris' cheek, right after they won and holding his hand while he accepted his MVP award.
Rachel and Finn watched their children grow into adults, never disappointed in them for a moment. They achieved everything they wanted in life and Rachel and Finn had felt more proud.
Rachel and Finn lived a long happy life because at the end of the day, no matter what, they were with each other, and that's all that mattered to them.
THE END