A/N: A response to the "Learn Something New Everyday" Challenge on Monker's forum. :)

Requirements:

1. It has to be a C&J fluffy oneshot.

2. Clarisse has to teach Joseph something he's never done before.

3. Joseph has to reference zesty tomato sauce.

4. Clarisse must hiccup

Reverse Skills

kateandharvey

"...Oh, I don't know." Clarisse began as she brought her cup of tea to her lips and took a sip, "I suppose it was the thrill, the adrenaline rushing through your veins that makes you so... free! It's the feeling of no one knowing where you are, or that you're even gone. It makes you feel dangerous, and crazy. Like you're losing your marbles."

Joseph shrugged as he watched the gleam in his queen's eyes. "I wouldn't know."

"Pardon?" She questioned, leaning just a bit closer over her desk, as if she hadn't heard him correctly. "What did you say, Joseph?"

He cleared his throat, stepping forward from the wall he was casually leaning against, and smiled. "I said, I wouldn't know."

The astonishment on her face was worth all of the jewels in her crown. "No!"

He was momentarily confused, and his eyes glanced about. "No what? What are you speaking of?"

"Joseph... surely you aren't telling me that you've never snuck out."

He nodded, "That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Oh, posh! A rebellious young man like you never snuck out of the house?" Clarisse's eyes were wide, and she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"No." He shrugged, and took a sip of his tea. "My parents were very strict, my father at least, was. I did give them a run for their money, positively. However, I shared a room with my older brother, who was quite the tattletale. So sneaking out was almost impossible. I can't believe that you've snuck out."

The way her eyes changed from surprise to mystery worried him just a little. As her eyes traveled slowly from the clock to her window and back to him. The smirk that appeared on her face was almost his undoing. What was she thinking? "Let's go into town."

"Your Majesty! It's nearly midnight..."

She shrugged, "The point of sneaking out Joseph, is to do it in the dark."

His eyes widened as she got up out of her seat, and walked towards the open window, pushing it as far open as it would go. "Surely you aren't..."

She turned, and smirked at him over her shoulder. "Are you coming, or not?"

His mouth open and closed wildly. "I...uh...well... I... C-Clarisse, we really... I-I can't..."

"You look like a fish." She supplied, "Close your mouth, and make a decision."

"I can't believe you of all people are suggesting this!"

She shrugged, "Suit yourself." And in a flash, she had jumped from the window.

Joseph ran over to where she had exited. "Clarisse!" He hissed, staring at her.

"What? We're on the first floor! Come along, Joseph... Please?"

He shook his head, and started to exit the window. "I cannot believe I'm doing this. With you of all people, the Queen of Genovia."

Her abrupt turn in front of him made him almost run into her. "First of all, you must be quiet! And second, I'm not the Queen of Genovia, I'm Clarisse Renaldi, your best friend." And she smiled.

"What if someone recognizes you?" He questioned, as they continued walking.

She shrugged, and hiccuped. He quickly looked around to make sure no one heard. "Sorry..." She whispered, "It was the tea." She grinned sheepishly, "What were you saying?"

"I said, what if someone recognizes you?"

"We're in San Francisco. The chances are slim to none."

"What happens when I lose my job after someone finds out you're missing?"

She sighed, "I'm your boss, and over my dead body will you lose your job."

"And if someone finds us?" He continued with his worries, "What will they say?"

She turned again, "About what, Joseph?" She was getting frustrated with his questioning.

"Queen Sneaks Out for Midnight Rendezvous with Head of Security." He paused, "I can see the headlines now!"

"You are being quite the worry wart, you know." She took a deep breath, as she could see the worry written on his face. "Joseph... There are many things that I haven't experienced that you have given me the pleasure of experiencing. Things that are very simple, that everyday people take for granted. Let me do something for you, please. I want to do something for you."

He nodded, "Alright, where are we going?"

C&J~C&J~C&J~C&J~C&J~C&J

"A motel? Clarisse!" He exclaimed, as they stood outside of the lit up 'vacancy' sign. "You surprise me so much! I never would've thought I'd see this side of you!"

She laughed, "I want to have fun, tonight. I want to be free! And as of right now, I am not Clarisse. My name is Molly, and yours will be... Jacob. Go and check us in."

"This isn't safe, Clarisse." He told her, looking into her eyes. "We should head back."

She took a deep breath, smiling. "I'm with my head of security... How could I be safer?"

"Clarisse... remember that time, when you ate my zesty tomato sauce?"

She nodded. "I love your tomato sauce! It's fantastic!"

"Yes, but you always get heart burn afterwards... It's fun for the moment, but you regret it later."

"I won't regret this." She smiled, "Now go!"

He hesitantly entered the motel.

"And now what are we supposed to do?" Joseph questioned, as they entered the room.

Clarisse shrugged, walking halfway into the room and spinning around. "Nothing! Isn't it just lovely?" She took a deep breath, "Ah. Do you feel that, Joseph? Can you smell it in the air?"

He looked grumpily around the room, "Filth?"

She stopped spinning, and flopped her arms down at her sides. She sighed, and gave him a grave look. "Freedom." She walked over to him. "Listen, if you really didn't want to be here you should've said so."

He shook his head, "What I did say wasn't enough?"

She pointed, "You said you didn't think I shouldn't leave the palace. You never said anything about yourself."

He shrugged, "Fine. I don't want to be here."

"Then feel free to leave." She told him, walking away from him to look out of the window on the opposite side of the room. "The door's behind you."

He chuckled bitterly. "You know as well as I do that I cannot leave you here."

She turned, "And why not? Why can't I have a few moments to myself, hmm? Leave, Joseph."

"I have a duty, it's my job to-"

"-It seems everything is your job, isn't it?" She bit, stepping closer to him. She put her hand to her chin as if she was thinking. "You know what Joseph, I take what I said back. Maybe you should stay."

"Oh yes, why?"

"Because I think we need to sort out everything you've done for me that you didn't get paid for." He scoffed, "I must owe you some money, correct?"

He knew he'd crossed the line.

"Tell me, Joseph... was the tea you brought me earlier this evening paid for?"

"Clarisse..." He needed to stop her before it was too late.

"Or driving Mia to and from school?"

"Please, Clarisse..."

"Or... I know!" She exclaimed bitterly. "How about the night Philippe died? Was that-"

"-Clar-ISSE!" He exclaimed, louder than ever. "With all do respect, please do shut up!"

She went silent, as Joseph came closer to her.

"Clarisse..." He spoke in a softer, calmer tone as he cupped her cheek. "Look at me." Her eyes met his, and they shared a story between the two of them.

"When did this get so complicated? When did we start hurting each other?" She breathed.

He shook his head, "I don't know. But what I do know, is that the night Philippe died was not my job. I was not Joseph, Head of Security that night. I was Joseph, the man. Your best friend... I was a man desiring a woman, and loving her the way she needed and deserved."

She smiled sadly at him, "Kiss me." She whispered.

Their lips touched, and they kissed lazily. "I love you, Clarisse."

"And I you, Joseph." She took a deep breath as they embraced, he head resting on his chest. "Oh! This is so wonderful! There's no cameras, no recording devices, nothing! Nothing to keep me from you!"

He smiled, and chuckled, tightening his arms around her. "I'm sorry I raised my voice at you. And I am truly sorry I told you to shut up. I should have never said that, and it will not happen again. I would rather put a bullet in my body than hurt you again."

"Please don't." She smirked, and kissed his chest. "You were forgiven the moment it happened."

He leaned his head down to whisper in her ear, "Clarisse?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm really glad the first time I've ever snuck out... It was with you."

The smile on her face said it all.

THE END