CUCKOO

- from HeyApple

Disclaimer: I shall own none, 'thou I would love to have even some.
It all belongs to thee, dear Mrs. R, and sadly, not for me.
My poem shall end now for your lucks, because I just realized it really truly sucks.

Author's Note: Hello my dear future-reader! Are you lost? Hope not, but if you are, don't press the exit-button just yet! Because I guarantee that if you read this story, you're going to love it! Or hate it, totally up to you. Who am I to judge?
Exactly. We're all just bunch of crazy people who still haven't got over their Harry Potter stage. And I'm proud of it! (Not exactly but I just said that so you wouldn't feel so lonely, my lovely lovelies.) So let's get it on. Please fasten your seat belts and hold on tight! Because here it goes! Riiight now…

P.S. I know no one reads this stuff, but it kinda looked cool when there was too much text at the beginning. It makes me feel like a real writer. Yay!

CHAPTER 1/Prologue
Can You Help Me Unravel My Latest Mistake?

'I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world…'

He groaned sleepily. Damn, he would kill Ross. Without even opening his eyes, he reached out to grab that small mobile phone from his desk. It had stopped ringing already, but he knew Ross would call again. She always did.

At times like this, Louis regretted that he got the idea of using this weird muggle-invention, cell phones. He thought it would be faster and easier than Patronus. Oh, he was so wrong. Sure it was faster, and of course it was easier, since even people under seventeen could use it, but there was just too many downsides to cover up the good things.

He made his first mistake, when he gave the other phone to Ross, alias Rose Weasley, who was famous of her pranks. I mean, they were both pranksters, Lou and Ross. Ross and Lou.

Just like Fred and George. At least that's what everybody told them.

But wasn't it illegal for Ross change his ringtone into Barbie girl and then call him in the middle of the night, just to make his big sisters roar with laughter? (Or anger? You really couldn't tell because Dominique and Victoire were too unpredictable. What can you say? Teenage-girls.) But still.

This whole thing was just purely evil.

Suddenly the phone started ringing again. With a sigh, he pushed the green button and answered.

"Hi Rosie." Now he was pushing her buttons. Rose hated her childhood nickname and almost strangled everyone who dared to use it. So it wasn't a wonder that he expected at least some yelling. But it never came. Instead he heard her taking couple deep breaths, almost as she was trying to put herself together. Now Louis was pretty sure that this wasn't a joke.

"Hey Lou. I need your help." She sounded dead-serious. Like that time when Hugo fell off his broom (prank-gone-wrong) and they thought he would die. Of course he survived and only broke couple bones but it was still horrible. That day they made a promise to never prank on her little brother anymore. And that promise still kept.

"WHAT? It's almost 2 a.m. Can't it wait 'till morning?" Louis whined. He hated when someone interrupted his precious beauty sleep.

"Shut up Louis and listen. I've seriously screwed up this time and I need you." He fell silent. It had to be bad. Rose never asked anyone's help and never ever admitted her mistakes. She hated weakness. Or at least she used to.

"Okay Rose. Just spit it out." He ruffled his lavender blonde hair to control himself from screaming in panic. What could be so bad? Had she killed someone? Ran away from home? Broken out of Azkaban?

Her quiet voice interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm pregnant and I need to get rid of it."

Silence.

"Okay Ross. I'll be there for you." And then he hung up. It was all he could do in that moment.

Louis didn't get any sleep at that night. He just laid in his bed and thought.

Rose was pregnant. It was weird. They had always been best friends. Ever since she was born and they had their first fight. It was their thing – Constant bickering about nothing special and then patching it up with pranks.

-Flashback-

Whole family had gathered in the Burrow. In the middle of the room was a small pink crib and everyone was fussing around it.

Little-Louis was jealous. He had always been the smallest one. Well, if you don't count his cousins Fred and Lucy, like he didn't. What's the point, he was still the cutest. And besides he didn't even remember when they were born, so they didn't take his place.

But this new one took all the attention away from him. And that was not good. So he decided to get some of that for himself. At least his mum could look at him, but no; she was now cooing to that lump.

You see, he was pretty smart for two-and-a-half-years-old. His dad called him 'little-Rawenclaw' So, when he didn't get what he wanted, he worked for it. And there was this one trick that never failed.

First he made sure that no one was watching him. Not hard, when no one really wasn't watching him. Second, he slowly inched towards her Grandma's coffee table. Then all he had to do was crash loudly against it, fall down, and cry.

"WAAAAA-AAAA-A!" Excellent. Everyone turned around and got worried about him.

"Hold on! I got him, I got him!" Wait! What was that? His uncle-Ron came running towards him. But Louis wanted his mum or grand-mum. They would kiss his 'buubuu' away and then give him something yummy.

Well, this was better than nothing, he decided. At least now someone was paying attention to him.

"Come here little-Lou! No one should cry on this beautiful day. Not now when my little rosebud is here! Come and see your cousin. She's the most beautiful thing on earth." He picked Louis up and carried him towards the cradle. When they arrived next to it, Hermione was changing the baby's diapers.

"Look at her. Isn't she pretty? What do you think?" Louis was angry, because this was not that kind of attention he wanted. He wanted someone to talk about him. So he did the only thing what came in to his mind.

"Fat." All the adults turned around and looked at him with terrified expressions.

"Oh, Louis-honey, did you say your cousin looks sad? You're right. She doesn't like when her mummy is changing her diapers." Hermione tried to save the situation. But Louis shook his head briskly and leaned towards the crib. He pointed his new cousin.

"Na-ah. Fat. F-A-T. Fat. Fatfatfatfat…" Ron's ears were getting red and Fleur came (half- running) to save her son.

But before she had time to say anything, small yellow shower trended right on Louis' forehead. For a moment everyone were frozen to their places.

"WAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AA!"

-End of Flashback-

Louis chuckled soundlessly. Later he got his revenge, but he wasn't sure was it worth it. His bottom still hadn't recovered after his uncle-Ron's treatment. And according to Ron himself, he still had 'war scars' from the battle between him and Fleur, who was (mildly expressed) pretty pissed on behalf of her youngest child. But anyway, the whole situation was beginning of beautiful friendship between two wild brats.

They spent their whole childhood together, until Louis went to Hogwarts. There he got some new friends and started to think Rose differently. Just as a whiny little cousin.

And then, two years later, she followed.

Louis was so ashamed when she approached him at the Great Hall. Welcoming feast had just ended and Rose was supposed to follow the other first years to Gryffindor dorm. But instead she wanted to 'meet his friends'. Everyone howled with laughter, when a tiny redhead scuttled next to them and introduced herself as Lou's best friend.

Next day they had black eyes and swollen lips. And from that very moment, she was part of the gang. One of the guys. It was so easy to forget that she was two years younger and a girl.

She never cried, always got in trouble, punched really hard and totally knew how to hex people. Especially when it came to one Scorpius Malfoy.

Those two were mortal enemies from the very beginning, when he called her a boy and laughed on top. And no one ever laughs to Rose Weasley without getting punished. And so there were six long years of hexing, fighting and detentions.

Louis never got to see that latest year. After graduating he got an internship from Romania and he had to travel there for a while. Luckily, he got to live with his uncle Charlie, but it didn't mean he didn't miss his other relatives. Mostly Rose. They still hadn't seen after his trip. Both were too busy. If Rose wasn't at a Quidditch game, Louis was meeting his other friends or at some job interview. But obviously something had changed.

And now she was pregnant.

Oh he was so going to kill that bastard who knocked her up.

A/N: First Chapter! Yeah! Btw, In every chapter it's name is taken from a song. At this chapter it was from Anna Nalic's – Just Breathe (2 a.m.). And I might've also gotten some inspiration from that song. ;) Did you notice?