This Is Not A Chapter
Sorry, I thought I'd make my point there. This 'page' is to get a few things over and done with, and some things that need to be explained and so on.
Firstly, I'd like to thank you in taking interest in this fanfiction. The title, 'Well, Scrub My Face With A Brillo Pad!' belongs to me and my co-worker Rich (he isn't helping me write the story, but he did mis-hear something I said at work one night, and that's how the title of this story came about).
You probably don't want to know how it came about, but basically I read the front of a magazine out to Rich, and one of the stories said "why I scrubbed my face with a Brillo Pad", but like I said, he misheard it.
If you don't know what a Brillo Pad is, then you are very silly. And I mean that in the most loving way. A Brillo Pad is like a scouring pad. You use it to clean things.
Also, the people who have read my other fanfic, 'Confessions Of A Blader' will recognise this as one of the chapter titles. I probably won't ever use it anywhere else again, though.
So, disclaimer time. I do not, and will not ever own the Georgia Nicolson books, or anything else by Louise Rennison. The Snogging Scales below also belong to Louise, and will never belong to me. I'm only writing this for your entertainment, and probably couldn't earn money from it even if I tried.
The Snogging Scale
½) Sticky eyes
1) Holding hands
2) Arm around
3) Goodnight kiss
4) Kiss lasting over 3 minutes without a break
4 ½) Hand snogging (you need to ask Jas about this one)
5) Open mouth kissing
6) Tongues
6 ½) Ear snogging
6 ¾) Neck nuzzling
7) Upper body fondling - outdoors
8) Upper body fondling - indoors
Virtual Number 8) When your upper body is not being fondled in reality, but you know that it is inside your snoggees head
9) Below waist activity, or B.W.A. (this can apparently include flashing your knickers - ask Jools)
10) The full monty
I thought I put this here, so that you guys can refer to it if you've forgotten what's what, or if you're new to the world of Georgia Nicolson and haven't yet learned and remembered it off by heart. Like me.
Or, if you want it in German…
Full-Frontal Knutschen Scale
1) Handchen halten
2) Arm umlegen
3) Abscheidkuss
4) Kuss, der uben drei minuten
5) Kuss mit geoffneten lippen
6) Zungenkuss
7) Oberkorperknutschen - im freien (outside)
8) Oberkorperknutschen - drinnen (inside)
9) Rummachen unterhalb der taille
10) AUF GANZE GEHEN!!
The German Snogging Scale also belongs to Louise Rennison.
I'm pretty sure that these sort of 'pages' aren't allowed, but I'm also sure that you guys don't mind. And anyway, where else would I put all this stuff?! There might only be 6 proper chapters to this fanfic, but they may well be very long chapters!!
Anyway, onwards and upwards with the story, and I'm very sorry for wasting your time here.