This is my pitiful attempt at writing fanfics in a different format. Do tell what you all think (: it might be a little confusing initially, but not to worry. I gave up and started writing normally in the future chapters.
If I owned Harry Potter, you wouldn't be reading this on , the epilogue wouldn't have happened, and these couples would have happened in the books.
-X-
It is one week before exams in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and every student's patience is dangled on a short line. Every student's day was filled with studying, studying, and more studying; only to take food, bathroom, and rest breaks. Well…almost every student.
-X-
Head Boy, Slytherin Prince, Playboy Extraordinaire: These are only a few of the nicknames of Draco Malfoy, who sat in his favorite couch in his favorite location of his not-so-favorite castle; his private Common Room. Sure, he had to share it with the Gryffindor Mudblood, but they kept a strict "Don't fucking talk to me unless it's abso-fucking-lutely necessary" policy that worked well for them.
Well. Until their truce anyway, which led to an incredibly difficult, dysfunctional, and complicated friendship that somehow worked for them.
He spent his Sunday afternoon lazing in his favorite couch, back against the seat cushion, legs bent over the headrest, head dangling off the seat, viewing the Common Room from a completely different perspective, until someone came in and shoved his feet off the cushion, sending him flying off the couch.
"FUCK!" came the intelligent cry from said Head Boy.
"Get your fucking shoes off the headrest; Merlin knows where you've been, and I refuse to have my head potentially be in that place!" came the know-it-all voice that Malfoy oh-so-loved.
"Fuck you, Granger. Can't a man relax in peace?"
"Relax? Relax? Are you fucking out of your mind? NEWTs are coming up in a week, and you haven't even started studying!"
"Fuck it, Granger, there's nothing you can say or do to make me study! It's not like a Malfoy to study for these blasted exams!"
"Fucking hell, Malfoy, that's the kind of attitude that makes you second best! I hate to admit it, but if you actually tried, you could easily surpass me in all these subjects!"
"Well, fuck me, did you just admit that I really am your better?"
Hermione Granger's eyes flashed dangerously before she slapped Draco upside the head and turned with a huff, face flushing in anger and embarrassment at her obvious defeat.
"Fuck you, Malfoy!" she snapped, as she stomped up to her room, leaving a stunned Malfoy in the Heads' common room.
He fell back onto the couch, the energy mustered for the fight leaving him in one second, as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, too lazy to get up the stairs to his room.
He tossed and turned for several minutes, her words echoing repeatedly in his head, driving him insane, before he sat up.
Draco glared at her door, being her fault he could not sleep in peace. "Fuck," was all he grumbled, before picking up his Advanced Transfiguration book and began to take notes.
-X-
"Damn it…Ron, what's the incantation for the cleaning charm?"
"Uh…damn, I don't know…scourgey?"
"Get your damn act together, Ron, it's scourgify," called Ginny from a nearby couch.
"Damn," was the redhead's only response.
Harry ran his fingers through his ruffled hair, regretting asking Ron to study with him for the upcoming NEWTs…he was probably better off studying with Ginny, who definitely had the potential to be her year's Head Girl next year. Honestly, Ron was hopeless. He sat back up, rubbing his eyes while reaching for his quill to make a note, while accidentally knocking over his ink.
"God damnit…" he swore, putting his glasses back on and digging around for his wand.
"God's last name isn't damnit, Harry. Scourgify," Ginny reprimanded from behind him and cleaning the mess with her own wand.
"Damn you, Ginny, will you quit studying with the 7th years and get back to your poor 6th year friend who will fail her exams next week?" called her study buddy from her seat on the floor.
"Don't get your damn knickers in a twist…there's too many distractions in the common room, wanna head back to the dorm?" Her brunette friend nodded and started gathering her things, while Ginny turned back to her brother and best friend. "I'm off then, good luck boys,"
All she got was unenthusiastic grunts, a lazy wave from Ron, and an acknowledging nod from Harry.
"Damn! Harry, did you know that a pig's orgasm lasts half an hour?" Ron exclaimed from his book.
Harry turned to his redheaded friend in surprise before actually laughing aloud. "Well, I'll be damned…"
-X-
"Oh shit…I'm out of ink…Pans, pass yours over!"
"Get it yourself, shithead…"
"You wound me, my dear flower…SHIT, that book could've hit me!"
"That was the point, you shitty excuse for a Slytherin."
"Oh go eat shit."
"What the shit? I know you like to, but don't try to get me hooked on your gross habits."
"Bullshit, Pans."
"Oh, bite me. Your parents were shits."
"What kind of a shitty comeback was that?"
"What kind of a comeback was that, shithead?"
"I thought you never reused insults…you just called me a shithead twice."
"What the shit, you kept track?"
"Well of course, you're the one who loves to associate shit into your insults!"
"Oh for Merlin's sake, here's the ink, now just leave me alone you sorry piece of shit."
Blaise reached for it, but Pansy was knocked over by a gleeful Goyle, who managed to swipe a muffin from a defenseless 3rd year Hufflepuff. Pansy shrieked in surprise, but was caught by an ever-ready Blaise.
They stood in each other's embrace, not daring to say a word.
"Shit. You've just spilled ink all over the two of us…and our parchments."
"Oh. Well…shit."
-X-
"Screw this, I can't concentrate on any of this shit, Flitwick's such an asshole." Ron exclaimed, throwing his Charms textbook against the wall. Harry had long ditched him, taking Ron's magazine with him.
"Well go fuck yourself, Assmunch, don't take it out on the books,"
"Damnit, Brown, get off my case and get your ass outta here."
"If I don't watch out for you, who will, asswipe?"
As Lavender left him, he glanced at the book she gently handed back to him, thinking over their short conversation.
"Why the hell am I such an ass?"
-X-
Who would have thought that by graduation these people would be in happy relationships amongst each other? All it takes is time, patience, and a lack of blunt objects for them to throw at each other. In the end, along with having the love of their lives by their sides, they will also learn important life lessons to guide them in the future.
There is a very fine line between love and hate. Will our Heads discover this to be true before the year is over?
The friendship between two of the Golden Trio will be tested. Will one risk his best friend for his soul mate?
Will the last Slytherin Royalty be able to step off his high throne to let his affection for one "lucky" girl shine?
Will the hothead of the Golden Trio decide on who is the true girl of his dreams before the one walks away for good?
...
...
...
Probably not.
-X-
Dear Diary,
Why the hell is he such a prick? I try to be patient, even nice to that jerk, but what the hell does he do? Absolutely nothing but finds ways to insult me.
I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM
But really, why the hell do I care…I DON'T. Perish the thought, Hermione.
Making friends with a Malfoy is not easy. Well. I consider him a friend; it's been a long year. I wonder what he thinks.
Just the thought of Malfoy makes my stomach churn…I think I need to see Madame Pomfrey about it soon; it's been driving me insane. Maybe I'm catching something…
-Hermione
-X-
Granger had stick up ass again.
Endured half-hour long lecture. Gave Granger piece of mind.
Granger P.O.ed, stalked off. Felt strange.
Started studying.
Current mood: Confused.
--Draco Malfoy, Playboy Extraordinaire.
-X-
Dear Diary,
He talked to me again today…well, I had to initiate it. Moreover, Ron was being an ass as usual, and Bianca pulled me away…but that's ok.
I hope Mia and Malfoy haven't killed each other yet…
-Ginny
-X-
I don't see why I still bother to write in this thing…oh right, cuz she gave it to me.
She talked to me today…well helped me study when her brother I unfortunately call my best friend failed to…
On that note, how the hell am I supposed to tell him I'm completely in love with his baby sister?
And that I have the feeling she likes me back?
I'm thinking too much.
-HP
-X-
Dear Diary,
Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick.
Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick.
Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick.
Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick.
Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick. Blaise Zabini is a prick.
BLAISE ZABINI IS A FUCKING PRICK.
And yet, you love him anyway, you pathetic little loser...
-Pansy
-X-
Blaise Zabini is the best.
Pansy Parkinson is a bitch.
Blaise Zabini is the best.
Pansy Parkinson is annoying.
Blaise Zabini is the best.
Pansy Parkinson is beneath you.
Blaise Zabini is the best.
Pansy Parkinson is a Malfoy reject.
Blaise Zabini is the best.
Pansy Parkinson is adorable when mad.
Blaise Zabini is the best.
Pansy Parkinson is hot.
Blaise Zabini loves Pansy Parkinson.
…Damnit.
-X-
Dear Diary,
I hate that fucking jerk so much. I gave my heart to him, and we were doing just great, till he breaks off with me for no good reason, and he makes it seem like my fault, being such a goddamn prick all the time.
I hate everything about him. I hate his hair. I hate his eyes. I hate his freckles. I hate the cute way he wrinkles his nose. I hate the way he laughs. I hate his adorable stutters. I hate him.
Nevertheless, why do I still get butterflies whenever I see him?
-Lavender
-X-
Lavender vs. Hermione
Reasons to be with Hermione
Lavender cons:
-She's a ditz
-She cares more about her looks than she does you
-She hates your guts
-She's rather whiney
-She's not that bright
Hermione pros:
-She's smart
-She's pretty
-She's funny
-She's your best friend
-She cares about you
Reasons to be with Lavender
Hermione cons:
-…She's not Lavender.
…Damnit.
Lavender pros:
-She's…Lavender.
BLOODY HELL!!
-X-
So the current odds of all these couples actually getting their act together aren't very good. But is it impossible? Of course not. Difficult? Very.
Do note that they have only one week before exams, which is followed by one week before Graduation.
Two weeks for four rather unlikely couples: Let the games begin.