Hellsing's Fanbase Problems: Chapter 1: The Wrath of the Fanbase x1
Written by Liz the Weird.
Fanbase People are (c) Themselves.
I DO NOT OWN THE HELLSING CHARACTERS, OMGWTF. They all belong to Kouta Hirano and all that jazz.
The flames won't hurt me. :D
"I am wow." means they are talking, and /Holy Crap./ means thought. Okay? GOOD. D:
I'm not sure what the Fic is rated, but it sure seems like a T to me.
LOLOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGLOL.
A group of 6 people were walking around London.
Aki smacked Liz on the back of the head all of a sudden, as V was reading a book. Joe watched Aki beat up Liz for a temporary Moment and Ruka held Liz and Aki away from eachother. Autteh stared at the action.
Liz clawed the air like a rabid.. uh.. Bulldog. Or Something. She snarled. Joe prodded Liz in the middle of the forehead. "I'M BORED." He boomed. Ruka looked around for a moment and saw some buildings.. and a Hobo walking around with a yellow grocery bag. She smiled very wide and pointed at a random building.. a rather HUGE one. Too Huge for its own good. "Why don't we go THERE?" She hopped up and down happily.
"Oooh!" Autteh said as her eyes lit up like a little kid on christmas. "I know what that is!" She flailed her arms in the air. "Hmm?" V looked up and saw the hugeamungus building and dropped the book. Joe snatched the book and shoved it in his mouth. Aki prodded Autteh. "Reaaaaaallly?"
"Yes. Really." Autteh answered. "WOO!" Liz cheered and then scattered off to the building. The rest followed along, as Joe snacked upon the tasty book. "Delicious."
At the Huge Building ...
Integra was reading some documents as she drank her coffee. She was typing at the computer at the same time. Then Suddenly..
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG.
No. It was not the sound of guns shooting.
It was Alucard.
Integra grumpily glared at the door as she dropped her cup of coffee on the floor. She muttered. "I'll get Walter to clean it up.." As she stood up. Before she could answer it, The door suddenly swung open and Alucard was hiding in the corner of the room.
Integra was on the ground.
"WHAT.. IS.. IT." She yelled.
Alucard trembled at the bitchy screaming. He stood up and then gulped. He pointed outside.
"A group of 6 people.. no.. 6 HUMANS forced their way into the building! And.." His hat started moving. Integra stared at the hat.
"Alucard.. did your hat just.." Integra was not able to finish her sentence.
Alucard suddenly jerked around and tryed taking his hat off, but it was EATING HIS FACE, OH MY GOD. He tried several times jerking the rabid Hat off. He tripped over his gun and landed on the ground, the hat hopping off of his head. It scooted towards Integra.
Integra just stood there. The hat started making some monster munching sounds as it started to come towards her. Integra freaked out..
SCREAMEDLIKEHELLANDRANOUTOFHERROOMWHILEFLAILINGHERARMS.
The hat continued chasing her as she ran through the hallways. Through the bathrooms, through a maze, Through the bedrooms of each member of Hellsing, Through Seras's room, Until she ran into Walter. The hat stopped. Integra was clinging to Walter like a monkey on a tree. Frightened.
"S-Sir Integra.. What exactly is that?" Walter stared at the hat. It was just sitting there.
"T-THAT THING.. WAS CHASING ME!" Integra choked Walter as she clung to him. Walter gagged.
"I'm old." Walter stated.
Then suddenly..
"FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU." The hat cackled as it scooted off under a door and into a room. Walter and Integra watched.
IT WAS JOE THE ENTIRE TIME. He transformed back to himself and rubbed his hands together evily. Licking his lips.
"Oh the posibilities." He grinned. "Its just like that." He paced around in the room. "The plan has been plotted perfectly. NOW." He glanced around. And took out a walkie talkie, and spoke into it like James Bond.
"JOE THE GREAT TO LIZ THE WERID CALLING. Plan A has been done! END." Joe spoke into the thingy.
"OKIEEE DOKIE!" Liz screeched.
Joe nodded. He ended and shoved the walkie talkie in his mouth.
Chew. Chew. Chew.
Swallow. Digest.
LATER ON IN SOME OTHER AREA..
The other members of the group were in some random hallway.
Liz was cackling to herself about the ideas she can do. V stood up and shoved a book in her pocket. "I got some ideas." She smiled. "Why don't we split up and bother whoever we can find?" Ruka looked at V. "Ooh?"
Autteh smiled. "Thats a good idea!" She suddenly grabbed Liz's hand.
"Your coming with me!" Autteh grinned. Aki raised her head in the air. "I WANNA CAUSE TROUBLE!" She screamed and then ran off somewhere in the opposite direction where Autteh and Liz were going.
At Some Time ...
Maxwell stared around as he walked through the hallways of Hellsing. It was quiet...
... Too quiet.
He began to hum some song that he knew as he happily went over to Integra's office.. Until he suddenly tripped.
"Unh.." He muttered as he slowly stood up. "Why the hell did I trip?" He questioned himself. He shrugged and opened the door to Integra's office.. seeing that she was back in there with Walter, who was trying to calm her down.
"Here. Have some tea, Sir Integra..? It will calm you down.." Walter set a cup of Tea on her desk. Integra stared at it, before shoving it away.
"N-No. I'm fine. I think I was just hallucinating.. Hats don't move and make munching sounds." She placed her hand where her heart was. And then noticed Maxwell.
"Grr.." She growled. Giving him the evil eye.
Maxwell smiled and then marched his way over Integra's desk. He tripped again.
"DAMNITTOHELL." He stood back up. "Thats the second time in a row!"
Integra blinked.
Maxwell stared.
The sash started moving on his own, the one half touching Integra's chest.
The other half slapped against her face.
Maxwell blinked in confusion as he grabbed the parts of the Sash and yanked them away.
"S-Sorry! I don't know whats happening at all." The Roman rubbed the side of his head nervously. "Anyways.. I just need to talk to you about somthing. That --"
"I loooove yooooou." Something said out of nowhere, in a cutesy voice.
"N-NO! I mean.. er.. !"
The Sash wrapped around his face and his body, CONSTRICTING HIM as giggles were heard! He screamed in confusion as Integra watched, wide eyed. The snatched the tea cup and downed the flavored water in one gulp.
"You like Integra!" One part of the Sash giggled.
"YOU GOTS THE FACE OF A RAPIST, BOY!" The other half said.
The sash laughed and squirmed the ends like jello.
Maxwell falls onto the floor. He rolls around and trys to stop the sash from constricing around his body.
Integra stands up and runs out of the room to get away from the insanity.
Sometime In the Police Girl's room...
Seras just woke up, in her sleeping robes that were pink and very frilly. She sighed and rubbed her head.. and felt somthing.
She stared at her hand and saw that there were inky spots in a blue colour. A NEON Blue. She gasped, ran over to a mirror, and saw that her hair was a different colour.
Her eyes went wide.
She was on the verge of tears.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Alucard appeared into the room and cackled.
"My My, Police girl. That looks quite nice on you!" He grinned.
Seras whined.
OMGWTF Lets see whats going on with Integra!
Integra was calmly walking down the hallway.
/Geeze.. Whats wrong with people these days? Ever since that Alucard said that there were 6 people here.. wait../ She paused, her eyes widening to the thought. She grinned.
/Okay. WhoEVER they are, I will make SURE we find them! But that still doesen't explain the thing with the--/ She suddenly stepped on Alucard's hat, that was on the floor.
She looked to see what she stepped on, and she froze up for a moment, before jerking back.
"W--What the.." She gasped.
"Oh. The Hat. Wait... Why is it doing here..?"
The hat started moving. Towards Integra again.
DEJA VU.
"MUNCHMUNCHMUNCHMUNCHMUNCHGRRR." The hat said.
Integra's heart nearly stopped. As the hat inched towards her feet as it moved the top, bearing teeth, Integra screamed and ran off. THE HAT CHASED HER AGAIN OHMYGOD.
Through the hallway...
Through the bedrooms..
Through the bathrooms..
Around the Organization outside...
Through a training field...
Through Walter's room...
Before she went into some random room in the organization and locked herself inside. She swallowed the Key and let out a calm sigh.
A hand set onto her shoulder and she nearly flinched. She turned around and saw V.
"Welcome. . ." V grinned creepily.
Integra blinked.
"Who exactly are you.. and.. Why are you in my organization?" She yelled, confused as before. But not as bad as when Maxwell's Sash started going Jello on him.
V tied Integra to a chair forcefully and stood behind her. The chair faced a TV.
"You. . . need to learn somthing that might calm you down!" V patted Integra on the head.
LOLOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGLOL.
Liz the weird is not responsible for your missing brain cells, or your bleeding eyes.
Chapter 2 is coming soon, which Liz the Weird will write.
The members of the Millennium will be making an appearance too! Yay!