In honor of the upcoming panel at SDCC (Oh, sweet ZAG gods, please, please, let them upload the video somewhere... this chicken is poor and cannot go to the wonderful event), I decided to write a quick little snippet of fun.

Warning: There are spoilers for upcoming seasons in this, if you know where to squint.

As always, I'm not associated with Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir, ZAGtoons, Disney, or anything else that actually makes money writing stories.

I've Seen Enough...

Ladybug studied the scene, trying not to let her eye twitch. Chloe was to blame. Again. Of course. Apparently, her new sushi chef had not been up to her standards, for whatever idiotic reason the blonde had decided to scream about that day. It didn't matter. What mattered was the man had now transformed into a giant octopus monster who was now terrorizing the whole hotel. And she could already hear the plethora of jokes her partner would make about this one.

As if summoned by her thinking, Cat Noir landed beside Ladybug. She held up her hand before he even opened his mouth.

"Don't do the hentai joke."

"WHAT? But it's—"

"NO."

"But, Ladybug…," Cat whined.

"No! So help me, we will stay TV-Y7," Ladybug said firmly.

"What?"

"Think Disney thoughts!"

Cat Noir smirked at her and then looked at the octopus monster again. "I dunno," he drawled. "All I can hear in my head is Ursula singing about body language." He swayed his hips suggestively. Ladybug facepalmed.

"Oh God, Cat, I can't unsee that!"

"Besides, I think we crossed that Y7 line a while ago," Cat Noir pouted, resting his baton on his shoulders.

"What? When?"

"Oh, let's see," Cat said, thinking. "How about when a certain somebody's uncle decided to resort to cannibalism?"

Ladybug pouted. "Doesn't count."

"My twenty-something Copycat trying to date a minor?"

"He didn't know!"

"The number of innocent babies who died because their mothers were suddenly sucked into a bubble?"

"I fixed that!"

"…"

Chloe suddenly flew through the air in front of them, screaming, as a tentacle wrapped around her waist and pulled her back inside the hotel.

"…"

"Can I make the joke now?" Cat Noir whined.

"We are totally screwed, aren't we," Ladybug sighed in defeat. She threw her yo-yo. "I'm teaming up with Volpina, you go see if Chloe likes your joke. Maybe it'll get Queen Bee's rear in gear."

"Ha! You made a butt joke!"

"Did it sting?" Ladybug asked, smirking.

"Oooo," Cat chuckled as she whisked away without waiting for his answer. "Good one."

"Hey, Volpina," Ladybug greeted. "There's an octopus akuma in the Grand Paris Hotel."

"Let me guess, you'd seen enough hentai to know where that was going?"

"NNNOOOOOO! You made the joke! Volpina, how could you?" Ladybug cried, betrayed.

"How could I not? That one's a classic!"

Fin.

A/N: I have no idea how old Theo actually is. I haven't found a reliable source that can tell me for sure. They've put him on multiple jobs, but I think I've seen him in the school too... all I know is, he's old enough to have a soul patch, his own apartment, and hold down multiple jobs, but he's very clearly dating school girls (attempted Ladybug and definite Mirai). Made me raise my eyebrow.