*'Twilight' and 'The Southern Vampire Mysteries' belong to their respected
authors, Stephanie Meyer and Charlaine Harris, and their publishers. I
don't own them, but enjoy playing w/ the characters.*

Adopted from jlove34. This story will mirror "Dead until Dark" with slight deviations and of course, the twilight characters mostly replacing Charlaine Harris' main characters.

SM's vampire parameters are replaced w/CH's vampire parameters. No sparkle.
But we have fangs, people! This will be a multiple series as well as
another of my stories. The characters will be OOC. This story is M- for
language, future lemons, and violence.

Characters as follow:

Sookie Stackhouse-Isabella Swan (telepath)

Jason Stackhouse- Emmett Swan (human)

Charlie Swan-E&B's dad and Chief of Police (human)

Sam Merlotte- Edward Merlotte (shape shifter-revealed later)

Bill Compton- Major Jasper Whitlock (vampire)

Rosalie Hale-waitress and Emmett's on/off again g-friend/ fuck buddy (human)

Alice Brandon- waitress and Bella's BF (human)

Alcide Herveaux-Jacob Black (werewolf)

The Rattrays-Victoria and James ( assholes. LOL)

*Any other Twilight or TSMM characters will be named at another time.*

Chapter 1: The Major had Fangs

Bella

Beautiful, almost eerie, cerulean eyes shifted over me as I glanced up from my pen and paper. I stilled, motionless, my own chocolate eyes wide with curiosity, as he stood in the doorway. The vampire was handsome-tall and blonde with glowing ivory skin and golden curls that brushed his collar. He wore a long sleeved button-down shirt with dark wash blue jeans and boots-a black cowboy hat perched atop his head.
With bated breath, I waited for something-anything incredible to occur, but as the seconds passed, nothing of significance occurred. Even though I was slightly disappointed, I was content with the miracle itself for I had waited so long for a creature such as him to arrive at the bar. The novelty of the situation almost stilled my overly hyperactive heart when he caught my eyes once more.

For two years now, I have anxiously awaited this very night. When the news stations began reporting vampires truly existed, while at the same time, assuring the general public that the former mythical creatures were no longer dangerous due to a new formula that mimicked the blood of humans, it made me want to experience it all the more.

The patrons in the bar said New Orleans was the place to be if you wanted to catch a glimpse of the vampire life. Hear tell from all the people that frequented the bar, that seeing vamps out in the open was as certain as a whore with a cock in her mouth. Sure, over the years I could have jumped into my old, faded Chevy and driven my ass down to the Big Easy and caught a quick look for myself. But I've been waiting for my own vampire to walk into my bar.

Just the thought of other beings-possibly supernatural-existing in this world gave me hope that my little burden would someday be deemed normal. You see I was unfortunate enough to be afflicted at birth with a rather damning disability. I can read minds. This misery can be a bitch on your social life. Actually, I had no social life. As life in my world goes, I've always yearned for those treats . . .something out of the ordinary to keep my mind busy, and the vampire was just that treat!

My brother, Emmett, has always been of the opinion that I had a leg up on all the townies, since I knew what they were thinking. I was always of the opinion that being excluded allowed me a little bit of anonymity. Knowing the entire towns bullshit does not make my life, or anyone else's for that matter, any easier. Quite frankly, every trickling thought made my life overly complicated. The spoken word was meant to be heard-the internal dialogue was not, and juggling the complexity of the two around in my mind felt like a circus act. Answering someone's thoughts, rather than their words, doesn't exactly go over so well. That sort-of makes people feel uncomfortable. It's enough to drive someone bat-shit crazy-and attempting to conceal that fact had made the townies label me as such. So, even though I tip-toe through the thoughts of those around me, I found myself oddly comforted by my segregation.

Coincidentally, I haven't minded being labeled as the town nutjob. Even though the sneers and backhanded comments rarely goad me into action, the fact of the matter is that it bothers my father and brother immensely-which in turn, bothers me. But on the whole, I was a generally happy person.

Over the years, I've learned to deal with my disability, but as most unpleasant things go, wadding through the muck and mire of everyday life had its ups and downs. Occasionally, even a cheerful person feels weighed down. I pretend to be the happy go lucky waitress that I appear to be night after night, plastering on a smile and practically shaking my ass for tips. I can't say this would be my dream job, if I had any other option. Being a telepath somewhat limited my options for bettering myself. School was nearly impossible to complete-all the thoughts focused on everything but what the teacher was lecturing on. So, it left me on the uneducated job roster. Up till now, every job I'd ever had, had ended in me quitting due to the disconcerting thoughts of my employers. This little fact worried my dad and brother immensely. The two of them were afraid that I would end up being the crazy cat lady-unemployed, no man, and as wide as the Great Wall of China.

I had to agreed to disagree on that fact. I was only twenty-five. I refused to sit around and eat bon-bons on the couch and become a lard-ass just because life had handed me a shitty hand. Other than my sparkling personality, often riddled with sarcasm and profanity, my body was the only thing I had going for me. I wasn't going to ruin this tight ass and little, itty-bitty waist-line because I felt sorry for myself. I still had a few good bikini years left, so for that I was thankful.

Alas, I couldn't use that gem to my advantage. Finding a man that I could be myself with would never happen in my lifetime. How can you be comfortable with a man when you can wade into his thoughts and know what he really think of you? Does the carpet match the drapes? God, she's a real bitch today! Are her tits real? Man I wouldn't mind bending her over the bar and sticking my cock . . . anyway, you get the picture. Impossible!

I can't say that sex didn't interest me or that there wasn't anyone in town that was good-looking, but I just had to be content alone. I tented to focus myself on family and the little things. My family was everything to me. Grandma Swan, Charlie, and Emmett made life bearable.

The beautiful creature looked taken aback-as though I'd caught him with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. I continued to appraise him, shocked that those who were considered devils in their own right, could appear as though they stepped out of heaven and handed their halos back to God-fallen angels in the flesh, glowing ever so slightly in the low light from above.

From across the room, under dark lashes, those large, cerulean eyes, deep as the sea on a crisp, summer day, seemed to reach into my soul and took my breath away. As dangerous as I realized this lovely angel could be, I could hardly feel fear. His eyes told the story of sorrow, of pain, but deep inside there, lingering in the depths that told me of his inner goodness. My still pounding heart skipped a beat, shuddering in my chest as he unconsciously licked his lips.

He nodded his head and removed his hat, tucking it under one arm. We broke eye contact momentarily as he scanned the room and sauntered into the bar. I found myself mesmerized by his stride, leonine and graceful-definitely otherworldly, and I was surprised that no one, besides me, had been caught up in the glorious sight.

I shook myself out of my beautiful reverie and did a little dance at the bar when the vampire sat in my section. Edward, resident bartender and my boss, still in the process of pouring a drink, looked up and smiled, pleased to see the smile that almost split my face in two. I squealed under my breath like a school girl who'd been asked out on her first date. I grabbed my pen and paper and high-tailed it over to his table, giving me a chance to look him over before he looked up.

He was tall, nearly as tall as my brother, Emmett, I thought. But where Emmett was broad and burly, this man's physique was leaner, more streamlined, but just as solid. I watched in utter fascination as he flexed and released the muscles in his hands, the strong, lean tendons under his ivory skin.

The vampire glanced up under those same dark, thick lashes and genuinely smiled at me, his beryl eyes roaming my body before returning my gaze. He ducked his head in acknowledgement. My breath caught in my throat. This moment couldn't get any more perfect. I had to speak, but my throat had gone dry.

"Hell-llo, um . . . My name is Bella. What can I get you for this evening?" I stuttered, my pen shaking in my hand as it hovered over the paper. I silently chastised myself and straightened up. He watched the movement and licked his lips. My knees almost gave out.

"Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am," he said formally and tipped an invisible hat. His voice was as exquisite as the coo of a dove, soft and velvet, swirling around every syllable. "You don't happen to have any of that bottled blood hanging around?"

"Um. . ." I swallowed hard and bit my bottom lip before it quivered. "No, sir. We had some a while back but we were forced to dispose of it after the expiration date. Edward has some on order and it should be in with the next shipment. You see, you're our first customer." I said gleefully, my southern accent more apparent with my nervousness.

"That's too bad. Some red wine would be nice . . . so I have a reason to stay . . . with you," he said, adding the last bit with a blinding smile.

I blushed scarlet. I hadn't missed that tiny nuance in his reply, absolutely giddy that he wanted to stay for me. This night was awesome! I genuinely smiled in return, a laugh escaping my lips.

"Bella's crazy, mister. I wouldn't set my sights on that bitch, if I was you," a voice rung out from behind me.

I spun and glared at the man, finally realizing that Victoria and James Rattray-I called them the 'Rat couple' had snuck in while I was enamored with the vampire. The two of them frequented the establishment almost every night, much to my dismay. They were both mean and had made my life a living hell since they'd moved into the rental trailer at four-track corner. They almost always sat at one of my tables.

"Hey, Vicky and I need a pitcher of beer! Snap to it," James quipped, snapping his fingers.

I turned back to the vampire, the smile draining from my face like melted ice cream. "I'll get your wine, sir," I said, a grimness in my voice that hadn't been there previously. The vampire tilted his head and studied me tentatively before I turned on my heel and stomped off toward the bar.

During all the commotion, I hadn't noticed my brother, Emmett, walk into the bar. Usually he made some kind of noise, or swatted me on the butt to alert me to his presence. No one could ignore my brother. A feeling of calm washed over me like a warm blanket as I took in his dazzling smile.

Smiling widely in return, I waved at the bear of a man and sped up my pace. He grabbed me mid stride and swung me around like a child, kissing me on the top of the head. He dropped me to my feet and the two of us made our way over to the bar. Emmett sat down and immediately ordered a Bud from Edward, before scanning the room for his next victim.

The room became a bundle of energy as girls straightened their hair, boobs, and dresses, hoping to catch my brother's eye. Emmett quickly scrutinized the selection and smiled wryly.

God bless my brother, 'cause God knows he sure needed blessed. Emmett was the best brother a girl could have-both broad as a barn and could be as dumb as one, too, on occasion. But he didn't have a mean bone in his body-just as sweet as apple pie. I contemplated how many sore teeth had sprouted around town due to that sweet dessert.

Growing up he was constantly defending me, beating up anyone who had a poor word to say about me. But nowadays, I couldn't expect him to defend my honor. I could take care of myself. Besides, my brawny brother had other things on his mind, like which pussy he was going to dip his wick in for the night. He makes his nightly rounds in the local girls' panties, keeping 'em wet and horny until he's bored of them and moved on.

Fundamentally, my brother was a man-whore, plan and simple. Everyone knew it-especially me-regrettably me. His darling dimples, stacked abs, and dark, curly hair drove the women wild. They could hardly refuse his advances and would eventually climb into bed with him, which in turn made him a happy man. That's all I wanted for him-happiness, even if he was the town slut. Unfortunately, his mind was as wide open as the horizon, and his nightly exploits were fondly revisited in his thoughts.

"I was beginning to think we wouldn't see you tonight!" I exclaimed, quickly asking Edward to grab the vampire's wine and a pitcher of Coors. "Hey, you want something to eat? Or are you too occupied with eating pussy?"

"Bells, my mind is always occupied with pussy. You should know that...but I wouldn't mind eating some pussy tonight!" he said animatedly. Edward and I choked which pleased Emmett to no end. My brother threw his arm around my shoulder and continued, "Yeah, I want a mushroom burger, fries…and Eddie here already got my beer."

"Alright," I said, quickly writing down his order on a tab and sticking it in my apron pocket. I grabbed the glass of wine and beer from Edward, placed both of them on my tray and began walking back to my tables.

"Hey, anybody loose tonight?" my brother called over his shoulder as I trotted away.

"I don't know. Maybe you should stick with Rosie palm tonight?" I stated playfully. Emmett scowled. "Sorry. Rosalie looks pretty hot tonight. I think she wore those shorts just for you! Obviously she was hoping that you'd notice her."

Rosalie Hale, Emmett's on again-off again girlfriend, was taking an order on the other side of the bar. Tall, blonde, and statuesque, Rose was a beauty queen and well knew it. She looked up just in time to see Emmett nod at her. She looked disinterested and turned to finish her order. I could see in her thoughts that she was mad at him. She wanted the two of them to be exclusive, but my brother was too much of a tom-cat to settle down and only screw one woman. What can I say—he likes diversity!

I shifted my tray, grabbing a napkin and placing the wine in front of the vampire. He glanced up and smiled. "Enjoy that wine, Sir! Thanks for coming in. If ya' need anything else, just holler at me."

Spinning on my heel, I began walking towards the Rat's table, balancing the beer on my tray. I'd only taken two steps before his cool, ivory fingers grasped my wrist. I gasped and turned slightly, caught in his gaze once again. I felt like a mosquito mesmerized by the bug light, unable to stop myself from throwing myself towards danger. He held my wrist with feather-like gentleness and ran a thumb softly across my knuckles. I took a deep breath and brushed my thighs together tightly as my temperature rose and wetness sprouted from my core.

"Thank you, Bella. It's been a pleasure," he said in his silky tone, running his tongue across two sparkling fangs.

I slowly pulled my hand away, our fingers tangling as I did so. "You're welcome. Anything else?" I asked almost breathless.

"Not now, thank you. Another time…"

"Bella!" a voice boomed from behind me, causing me to jump and break our gaze and contact. It was James. The fucker needed to wait! When I looked back, I noticed the vampire had turned away from me and was intently staring at the glass of wine. I shrugged and spun, practically running to the table, careful not to spill the beer in the process.

"What can I get you two tonight?" I said with mock cheeriness, setting the pitcher of beer and two glasses in front of them.

"Well, let me think," he paused, thoughtful and glanced down at his menu.

I cringed internally when an image assaulted me, flitting across the fringes of his mind. Me—on my knees, my dark hair twirled tightly around his fist as I sucked his cock. I wanted to take my tray and bounce it off his fucking head.

"I just don't know. What's the special tonight?"

He knew damn well we didn't have specials. Burgers, chicken wings, and fries were about all we sold here. Edward needed to expand the menu desperately. I wanted to roll my eyes, but didn't, afraid that it might set either of the vicious little assholes off on another tangent. It's not like he didn't know what he was going to order…he ordered the same thing every damned night—a pitcher of Coors, which was already at the table, and a bacon cheeseburger.

"Mr. Rattray, as always we don't have specials," I said, my voice as cool as ice.

"Well damn. I'd hoped that somethin' had changed since yesterday. Well, I guess it'll be my usual—a bacon cheeseburger."

Big fucking surprise, James!

As I wrote his order on my little pad, I looked up at Vicky, who was glaring at me with her usual viciousness. "And you? What would you like tonight?" I said, continuing with the mock cheerfulness.

She ran her hands through her overly floofed up, bottle-red hair and sneered at me. "Listen here, ya' little whore. You need to quite ogling my man and keep your eyes on your fucking paper. You know what I want. I don't know why you fucking ask. Now scat 'an make yourself useful!" she barked, leaning down and nibbling on her husband's ear.

I smiled and thanked them, spinning on my heel and marching off towards the kitchen, cursing under my breath. I paused by my brother and smiled. But it was fake as hell, and he knew it.

I handed both the checks to the cook, Lafayette, and grabbed the orders that were ready, making my rounds to my other tables, topping of drinks and making small talk. So, I lost track of my beautiful vampire for a short time.

It was Friday night and the bar was buzzing. Everyone in town seemed to show up at one point or another throughout the night, which made for a frantic night. But I liked the business the weekend always brought. It helped me keep the thoughts at bay and made for a faster shift.

Almost dancing over to the bar, I glanced back at the vampire's table and gasped. James and Vicky had grabbed their drinks and settled themselves in beside the vampire. I made a disgusted sound deep in my throat and spun my head around, my auburn ponytail swinging with the momentum of my head.

I turned towards the table and scoffed, "Will you look at that shit?"

"What?" he said in his velvet, southern accent, eyes wide.

Edward was leaning up against the bar, wiping his brow with the back of his hand when I walked up. My boss was lean and wiry. He looked slight, but I'd seen him unloading freight and I could tell you that was one damned sexy sight— but totally off limits…well, to everyone but Rosalie who screwed anyone she liked. Whether or not she screwed Edward was yet to be seen or heard, but Bon Temps had little secrets—especially from me.

He stretched his arms above his head, his shirt pulling up slightly revealing toned abs muscles and a trail of reddish-gold hair that ended at the waistband of jeans. My mouth went slack-jawed, and I swear I almost drooled. Shit Bella! Quit looking! Realizing he was being watched, Edward looked up at me with his sparkling emerald eyes and caught my gaze. His tousled, bronze hair was sticking in every direction, and I couldn't help but giggle.

I looked at him, embarrassed at my almost bi-polar behavior and stifled another laugh. "Nothing. You need a haircut, boss!" I chided.

"Don't have time. I'm here all the time."

Before I could reply, my best friend, Alice Brandon, danced over towards the bar, her tablet and tray tucked under her arm. She was a tiny force of nature, with short, spiky raven hair and bright eyes. The girl was a whirlwind of energy, bubbling from within like a spring. "Bells! Who's that sexy ass guy with the Rats? He looks delicious!"

From behind me another voice chimed in. "New guy? Hell ya' he's sex on a stick! And all mine if Emmett doesn't fucking commit!" Rose hissed.

I turned towards my fellow waitresses and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "You'll never guess what he is!" I said excitedly. Edward leaned across the bar on his forearms and listened intently to our conversation.

"A fucking idiot? He's sitting with the biggest shit-heads in town. Vicky is eye-fucking him and James looks like he wants to fuck him, too!" Rose sneered.

"No, damn it! He's a vampire—our first!"

"A vampire?" Alice said thoughtfully. "Wow, he looks like he's gonna either eat or fuck them!" she trilled.

"Better not happen in my bar," Edward said in a growl, returning to the counter and pouring another drink.

I gazed across the bar and watched as Vicky trailed her fingers across her thin, ivory throat. The vampire swallowed hard, fixated on the throbbing vein in her throat. James was bouncing in his seat, a light sheen of sweat beading across his brow. I became worried. The situation was all wrong and I worried for the vampire.

Dropping my shield around my mind, I listened into the thoughts of the Rats, gasping when I caught their thoughts.

Aw fuck. I gotta get some V in me, now, James thought frantically, his hands shaking.

He's probably got several pints in him. Give or take several thousand dollars, Vicky thought. Hope we don't get caught again. I can't stand anymore time in jail.

Ever since the vampires had 'come out of the coffin' as I liked to phrase it, they'd been the target of drug dealers. The blood of vampires was the new drugs of choice —making the user feel alive, physically fabulous, and experience an amazing sex life—like prednisone and Viagra rolled into one. The vampire drainers were ruthless, often staking the vampire out in the open and once they'd drained him of blood, would leave him to burn in the sun.

And the Rats had been to jail for draining vampires! Fabulous.

I watched the couple and the vampire closely as I checked on my tables. Vicky and James were talking at him. He looked disinterested, minus the vein in Vicky's throat. I turned around and took the money and check from a regular customer and sauntered off to the bar. Once I had the customer's change, I swiveled around and searched the bar frantically, realizing immediately the three of them were gone.

Fuck!