If I Said I Loved You
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If I said I loved you,
All my life I loved you
Would the line be crossed?
Would the words make sense?
Would the thought be cause for concern?
Would you turn to frost?
Would you take offense?
Or perchance feel love in return?
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Hermione had long since harbored a secret crush, secret not only because she was that type of person, but secret because it was the sort of thing that could never be. Even thinking it crossed a line, she was sure, but all attempts to get the idea of a fling with her Transfiguration Professor out of her head were to no avail.
Unable to get Minerva out of her head, and out of her dreams, after trying desperately to squash her feelings into nothingness, she had to admit that she was in a bad way when it came to the older woman. Minerva was a Professor, for Merlin's sake, and not only that, but she was significantly older. That should have mattered to Hermione, but it didn't. But she was nearly certain that such a thing would matter to her Professor if she found out about this crush. She could only imagine the plump lips being drawn into an impossibly thin line and the warmth that sparkled in her emerald eyes dimming into disgust. There was almost no chance that her Professor would feel the same way.
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If I said I loved you
All my life I loved you
Would you think me cruel
To presume as much?
Should I take more time to declare?
Would I seem the fool
To admit as such?
In my heart you've always been there
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Minerva had spent a long time denying her feelings for her star pupil for a long time, even to herself, but now was a time where she could no longer hide from such longings as the one she felt towards the younger woman. Younger student. Emphasis on younger and emphasis on student. There was no way that a relationship could spring between them, given the age difference and the fact that she was Hermione's professor. The younger woman probably thought her nothing more than an old lady, a shriveled up has been with a Scottish brogue. The very thought makes her feel like a shriveled up has been.
She should have said something, as Minerva prided herself on speaking her mind, but how could she put the weight of such an unpleasant thing on the poor girl's shoulders. Not only would she seem foolish for doing so, but there was no way Hermione returned the sentiment, and that would make their relationship awkward beyond words.
It was impossible to be with the younger woman. It was impossible to get the younger woman out of her head, to get her out of her heart.
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After all we've been through now
Is the hour too late?
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As Hermione leaned against the window she couldn't help it as her thoughts drifted once again to Minerva. There were days where she wondered if her chance for telling the other woman how she felt had passed her by, or if they were still ahead of her. They had been friends, not of the closest nature but close enough, for years now, and Hermione felt more at home with her Professor than anywhere else, more at ease to be herself. As their comfort levels grew around each other, had the opportune moment passed her by?
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Is it too soon?
Can a man forgive
Where the wound you won't given time to heal?
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Minerva wasn't sure how it happened, but despite herself and her certainty that Hermione would be repulsed, had made up her mind to at some point tell her student her feelings. But how soon was too soon? How long could she handle being rejected by the younger woman? How long could she go without Hermione knowing the truth?
Looking out across the grounds to the silent and shadowy top of the Forbidden Forest Minerva begged the mysterious trees for an answer.
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After so much time can a seed still grow?
Can a fire be sparked from this ember's glow?
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Hermione, having considered at last that she may have let her chance to let Minerva know how she felt go flying past her, was now unable to stop thinking about it. Was it possible for a romance to blossom from something that had been platonic for so long, and from the very beginning of things? Would Minerva even be able to feel the spark that Hermione felt between them? The undeniable pull of love, pushing her closer to the Deputy Headmistress, had been there for long enough that Hermione had stopped remarking on it, but perhaps the other woman had no idea how she held Hermione in thrall.
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Do I say the words?
Risk as few would dare
Such a precious bond as we share
If I said the words,
If I spoke my heart,
If I said out loud what I feel
If I had the strength
Once again to start
I would risk the tide
And reveal it all
I wonder what you'd say,
Wonder what you'd do
If I said "My love, I love you."
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AN: The song here comes from the musical the Pirate Queen. The scene in question takes place between Tiernan (the lines represented by Hermione) and Grace (Minerva's lines). For some reason, even though I picture Minerva as the stronger, more masculine figure in a Hermione/Minerva ship, I couldn't help but picture Minerva more like Grace than like Tiernan... go figure.