Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.
Warnings: Angst, OOC.
Pairings: L/Raito.
Summary: During the handcuffs, Raito has a secret. What will L do when he finds out the secret?
Notes: Hello readers. This is a new fic, but I am not sure about it. I know Raito is OOC, but I wanted to try to show him like a teenager. I hope you enjoy it and please tell me what you think. Please tell me if I should continue this or not.
The lead detective on the Kira Case span in his chair, which made the chain jiggle when it moved. He didn't care if he was annoying the teenager. He was more confused then ever. The task force was going over everything, trying to find clues on Kira. He didn't feel like working at the moment. He was thinking over what happen. I am sure he was Kira when he was confined. Why would he change though? Did the power to kill leave him at that moment or is he playing an act? Yes, Raito Yagami is a very good actor, but could he act that well? He glanced over at the teenager to see Raito staring at the computer. He rolled his chair over to see what the other was doing. Blinking his eyes, he whispered, "Yagami-kun is playing games when he is supposed to work."
"Oh leave me alone about it. I have been in a cell all that time. I need to relax some." Raito muttered back as he played his game. It was his little secret. He loved playing games on the computer.
"Is Yagami-kun doing this to delay the investigating?" L asked interested in what the other was doing. The teenager turned his head and glared at him, but didn't reply. He saw something else and quickly pulled it up. He spoke, "Porn too?"
"Shh, my father will kill me if he finds out." Raito whispered as he glanced back to make sure no one was paying attention. He sighed in relief as he saw everyone working.
"I do not know what you are worried about. Yagami-san has already seen you looking at magazines with half naked women." L explained, and then said. "Oh, I see. Why is Yagami-kun looking at gay porn?"
"Shhh. Damnit. Do you want me to be caught?" Raito whispered in a heated voice as he closed down the porn site. He turned to look behind him again to make sure no one saw anything or heard anything. Thank goodness his father was fixed into his work.
Once again, L asked in a whispering voice, "Why is Yagami-kun looking at gay porn?" He was interested. This was not the same man who volunteered to himself to a cell. Is he playing me? Is he acting different to throw me off track?
Sighing, Raito mumbled, "It would be easy to guess why I would be looking at it." When L gave him a look of confusion, he mouthed out, "I'm gay."
"WHAT!" L yelled, which gained everyone turning to look at them.
Blushing, the teenager growled lowly, "Didn't I tell you to keep it quiet? Now look what you have done. Everyone is staring at us." He didn't like people knowing about his personal life. Well, his mother and sister knew. His sister figured it out and he told his mother when she was trying to set him up with a girl. Of course, his mother and sister did question about Misa. He never did give them an answer. Maybe he told them that it was a cover to keep it a secret from his father. He has heard his father talk about homosexuals and he didn't think his father would accept him if he came out of the closet.
Yagami asked staring between his son and their leader, "Is everything all right over there?"
Rubbing the back of his neck, Raito covered up what was spoken, "It would seem Ryuuzaki was surprised that I love computer games."
"You should be working to clear your name Raito, not playing games." Yagami scolded.
"Oh chief, leave him alone. He has been through a lot lately. He needs some relaxation." Matsuda spoke on behalf of Raito.
L stared at the pink faced teenager and wondered what to say when they were alone. Was it wise to have them in the same room? Come on, L. Get a hold of yourself. He didn't say he liked you that way. Also if he does come onto me, I can restrain him. When everyone went back to work, he leaned over Raito's shoulder and whispered, "How long?"
"Hmmm, I guess I knew about a couple years ago." Raito answered as he tried to busy himself with work. He didn't want his father coming over and asking a million questions. Also, he was trying to ignore how close L was. He didn't want the other man to know his darkest secret; that he liked said man that way. He didn't know how he was going to act when they had to shower, sleep, and go to the bathroom together. He felt his cheeks redden some more as he felt L's breath against his ear. He muttered, "Give me some space."
Backing up some, L shrugged his shoulders and sighed, "We will discuss this later alone." Raito turned his head to stare at him in shock. Yes, he wanted to know more. Is that what Yagami-kun hiding all this time? No, that can't be it. He would have had some of the porn in his bedroom and not realize he was being watched and pulled it out. His secret would have been revealed. If that is true, then he knew the cameras were there. How did he know? There were more questions that held no answer. He hated guessing himself.
Raito sighed in relief when L moved back to his spot. It was hard to focus on work when the man of his dreams was sitting so close. He was positive that L would never return his feelings. One reason was because he was a suspect and the detective could not drop his accusations. Second reason was because L showed no interest at all. The teenager sighed sadly. He couldn't stop thinking about the older male. He never felt this way before. Yes, he had a couple of boyfriends in the past but they never made his heart race when they were close to him. Right now, he hated feeling for the social challenged man.
The detective turned his head when Raito sighed. It sounded so sad. He wondered what was wrong with the other man. He glanced behind him to see everyone working. He hated it when he was wrong and losing. Yes, he was losing to Kira. He didn't know how it happened, but Raito was no longer Kira. Was he chosen to be Kira without his will to choose? Did he plan this? Was I wrong all this time? No, I can't be wrong. He had to be Kira. There was no one else. He stared at Raito, trying to read the other's mind, trying to guess what the other plans to do.
Raito felt eyes on him and knew the detective was watching him, waiting for him to slip up. Too bad, it isn't what you want. If I do slip up, it would be for a whole different reason. Why do you haunt me like this? Why do you torment me? Why did I have to feel something for you of all people? He turned his head and stared straight into grayish blue eyes. When did he feel something for the other man? He remembered talking to him at the college. It was then that he felt his heart race. Yes, it was L's way to trick him and get him to confess to something he didn't do. Can't you see what you are doing to me? He turned around and started to look at the computer, dreading later on.
Hours went by like nothing and L was bored out of his mind. He sighed, "Everyone head home." He wanted to ask Raito questions. From the corner of his eye, he saw Raito tense when he spoke those words. He figured the other didn't want to be asked questions. Too bad for the teenager, he was going to ask. He was curious about it. He never took the guess that Raito was homosexual.
When his father left, Raito turned around in his chair and glared at the detective. He knew what the other did and why he did it. I hope he doesn't ask too many personal questions. I am not sure if I can fool him about liking him. Once again, I have to ask myself why do I like him. He sighed and spoke, "Better ask what you want to know now."
"Did you have relationships in the past?"
"Two past boyfriends."
"How long did they last?"
"The first one lasted a few months until he figured it was a phase. The second one lasted for a year. He was really sweet."
"Why stop seeing him?"
"We were together because we didn't want to be alone. We got along. It suited us."
L stared at the teenager. He was sure Raito was answering these questions to hide something. He tilted his head and studied the other man. He was curious about everything. He asked, "Did you have sex with them?" He got interested when he saw Raito's face turn a light shade of pink. It was cute. I did not think him to be cute. He is my suspect, but I can't deny we have things in common. No, don't think like that. I can't let my emotions in the way. Wait, what emotions? Well I guess he is a friend and I do find him attractive. What am I thinking? I need to stop this.
Raito lowered his face, trying to hide his blush. He didn't think L would ask that. He knew the other would ask questions but he didn't think the older man would ask a personal question like that. He stuttered, "N… o. I didn't have sex with them."
"Why not?" L asked, amused to see Raito's face turned a brighter pink color.
"You are enjoying this." Raito snapped, trying to avoid the question all together.
"Do not avoid the question. Why not?" L repeated his question. He leaned forward and lifted Raito's head up to meet his eyes. What was he doing? He shouldn't be touching Raito at all.
Trying to keep his eyes from meeting L's, Raito confessed shyly, "I didn't want to because I didn't feel they were the one." He felt his face heat up more as his heart raced. Oh god, he is touching me. Doesn't he see it? Hasn't he figured it out yet? If he keeps close to me, I might let it slip that I like him. No, I can't tell him. He will be disturbed and not talk to me again. At least we are friends in a twisted way. Well, I hope he considers me a friend. Oh, god, I sound like my sister when she notices someone she likes. When did I become like this? He needs to move his hand before I do something we both regret.
L pulled his hand away and sighed. He felt so nice touching the other man but he couldn't let his emotions in the way. Then again, he wasn't sure what he felt. He did find it enjoyable with Raito around. He hated to admit it but he did care for the younger man. He stood up and muttered, "Yagami-kun needs to eat since he did not have any food during lunch. Also I am sure it he will enjoy a nice shower."
"Hmmm, Ryuuzaki, how are we… well shower with the chain on?" Raito stuttered out, trying not to blush even more. He stood up when L pulled the chain. The other man didn't answer him, just kept walking toward the stairs. When they got to their floor, he saw plates of food sitting there. He gulped since the food made his stomach turn. He didn't want to say anything. He hasn't been up to eating. Well, at least I have the signs to be in love with someone who doesn't return the feelings.
L jumped onto his chair and watched closely as Raito sat down slowly. He started to eat his cake and saw that Raito was picking at his food. Tilting his head, he asked concerned, "Is the food not to Yagami-kun's liking?"
The teenager sighed, "It is fine. I'm just not too hungry." He didn't want to tell the other what was really bothering him. He hated the fact he was feeling like this.
"Yagami-kun is losing weight because he is not eating right. I do not want Yagami-san to yell about me not taking care of his son." L spoke as he stared at Raito. What was bothering the other? It seemed like Raito was more depressed.
Raito sighed sadly. Of course, that would be the only reason he cares about me. My father would tare him a new one if I were to get sick. He doesn't care about me except being a suspect. He looked up and smiled sadly as he spoke, "I'm sure it is just the stress. I'll make sure I eat good tomorrow. I really can't eat right now."
"I know this is hard for Yagami-kun but the truth will come out soon." L said as he finished his cake. He stood up as Raito stood up. He walked to the back, where the bathroom was. He felt the chain tug as Raito lack behind him. He knew this was going to be difficult for both of them. Never in his life did he have to share every moment with someone else.
The teenager sighed in distress. He couldn't believe he would be showering with the man he held feelings for. He walked into the bathroom after L pulled him inside. How am I going to handle this? I will see him naked. Oh god. I need to act normal, but my raging body might have different plans. I can't think like that. I can do this. I can. I can.
Releasing Raito's wrist from the cuff, L stared waiting for the other man to remove his shirt. He sighed when it didn't look like the teenager was going to do it. He spoke, "Yagami-kun, it is not difficult to take off his shirt."
Raito snapped out of his thoughts and quickly removed his shirt. He felt the cuff back on his wrist. He stared at it like a curse. As he looked up, he saw L still dressed. He asked, "Aren't you going to take a shower too?"
"I will take one after Yagami-kun does." L explained. He turned his head to give some privacy to the teenager. It was the best he could do while they were cuff together.
Raito thank whatever god there was. He wasn't sure if he could keep his hands to himself if L were to shower with him. I can't do that. He would hate me if I tried anything. Damn my teenager body. He quickly pulled his pants and boxers off. Looking over to make sure L wasn't looking, he sighed in relief. He didn't want L to know what his body demanded. He turned on the cold water and jumped in, yelping as the cold water hit his body.
L remarked outside the cubical, "It was not wise to put straight cold water on." He wondered what was going on with the other man now. He is acting so different. Could it be possible that he was chosen and when he was caught the power left him without memories? I know I was not wrong. He fit the profile perfectly.
He turned the hot water on and sighed in relief as the warm water hit his body. He glanced down to see his need was still there. Usually he would take his hand to his manhood and gain release. Today was different. He was chained to another man who now knew he was gay. He didn't want the other to be disgusted with him. He leaned his head against the cold wall. Raito had no idea what to do now. His body demanded relief. He glanced out the curtain and mumbled, "Can I have some privacy?"
"This is all I can give Yagami-kun." L replied, almost not hearing the younger man. He wondered why the other man wanted to be alone. Did it have to do with Kira? Was Raito tricking him?
The teenager sighed annoyed, but didn't say anything else. He washed his body, trying his hardest not to touch himself. He would just have to wait it out. After washing the soap off his body, he turned on the cold water again and stayed under it, letting the coldness wash over his body. He turned off the water, grabbing the towel quickly. As he tightened it around his waist, he growled, "Now your turn."
"Why is Yagami-kun upset with me? I have done nothing wrong." L replied as he striped his clothes off his body. He stepped into the shower, not letting the younger man to say a word. He didn't want to continue to look at Raito's body. His body is distracting. Well, I do know for a fact I am attracted to him. That could be dangerous. Maybe it wasn't a good idea chaining us together, but no one else would be able to see the signs of Kira like I can.
Oh god, he hides all that under his clothes. He is hotter than I thought he was. Damn, I think I'm drooling. Raito ignored his body once again. One look at the older male and he was hard again. He quickly dried off and put his pants on. He only hoped L would not notice. He couldn't afford losing a friend. He didn't have many. Thinking about it, he is the only friend I have. I can't let my demands over rule my mind. I can't lose a friend like him. But once this case is over, he will leave and I won't ever see him again. I don't want that either, but how could I keep him here?
L stepped out of the shower dripping wet and wrapped one towel around his waist. From beneath his bangs, he could see the teenager staring at him. Is he attracted to me too? No. That can't be true. I know my short comings to appearance. He dried his hair as he watched the other man fix his hair. He didn't understand why Raito would fix his hair before bed.
Raito was doing anything to keep his mind out of the gutter. He didn't want the older man to hate him. It was what he feared the most. He never really had anyone to talk to. He glanced back to see L staring at him. He is trying to see if I do anything Kira like. Why did I have to fall for someone like him? I can't show anything. I have to act normal. Normal. Ha. Normal is looking at porn and finding relief since I don't have anyone for that.
After they finished in the bathroom, L led Raito to the bedroom. As he jumped onto the bed, pulling his legs to his chest, he glanced to the teenager. He could see tension on Raito. What was the problem now? Why was this so difficult for the other man?
Raito dreaded this. He was going to share a bed with the man he had a crush on. He still couldn't believe that L didn't figure it out. Then again, this was L he was talking about. L didn't know things like that. He climbed onto the bed. Damn, I'm so horny and sleeping next to L isn't helping me. I need to calm down. I need to think about something else. I should think about Misa. Yeah, Misa naked. Ewww, gross. Well I guess any man would think she is attractive. I don't though. Oh that is helping me. Good, maybe I can get some sleep.
"What is Yagami-kun thinking about?" L asked. He saw Raito shiver and wondered what the other was thinking about. Raito's mind was a puzzle and it was great to try to figure it out. He never met anyone who could make him second guess himself.
"Sleep."
"Really?"
"Yes. Now shut up so I can get some rest." Raito muttered as his eyes were closed. He heard some music blasting and he groaned. It was his cell phone. He sat up and stared at the cell phone on the night stand right beside the bed. He didn't think L would let him have his cell phone back. He answered quickly on the sixth ring, "Hello."
"RAITO!"
Pulling the phone away from his ringing ears, Raito sighed. He dreaded this conversation. It has been a while since he talked to this person. No doubt he would worry about him. He pulled the phone back to his ear and answered, "You do not need to scream, Luke."
L turned his head and stared at Raito. Who is Luke? I didn't know Raito had any friends except people who wanted to hang around the most attractive top student. So, who is Luke and what do they have together? Could it be Raito's boyfriend? He never said he was single.
Raito listened for a moment and sighed, "No. I just have been very busy."
"You haven't been in school. I went there and they told me." Luke replied over the phone.
"I took a medical leave. And I am all right. I'm just helping out a friend." Raito answered before more questions could be asked. Before he could say another word, L took his phone. Trying to grab the phone back, he hissed, "Ryuuzaki, give me the damn phone back." He feared L would reveal him as a suspect on the Kira Case. Luke was the closest thing as a friend. Well he wasn't really a friend. Just someone he could talk to about his problems in finding a good man.
"What are you to Yagami-kun?" L asked.
"Who the hell is this?" Luke questioned back.
"I believe I asked a question first. It is rude to respond with a question." L replied calmly. He heard a few curse words coming from the teenager who was still trying to grab the phone back. He glared at the other. Didn't Raito understand he had to know all information?
"I'm his ex. You his boyfriend?" Luke asked coldly.
"No. We are friends. I was curious as who you are. Here is Yagami-kun." L explained as he handed the phone back to the teenager. His ex. Must be his second boyfriend. So, they still talk. Well, he did say they got along. Why do I feel jealous about it? This is very disturbing. I need to keep my mind focus on the case not Raito.
"Who the hell was that guy?" Luke asked in a raised voice.
"He is a friend. The friend I'm helping out." Raito answered, glad L didn't reveal anything. Of course, he wouldn't reveal anything. He would have to explain who he really is and he would never take the risk. He wanted to know information. I hate when he does that. Does he really believe I am Kira and gaining help from someone else? Damn him. But still I feel for him.
Luke asked, "Is he someone you like?"
"Shut up, Luke. You don't…"
"So that is a yes. Why haven't you tried to get with him?"
"I can't."
"No, you are afraid he will turn you away. Stop being a wuss and try."
Before he could argue, his phone hung up. He glared down at the phone. Luke hung up on him. Usually he did that. He turned his head to see those dark grayish blue eyes staring at him. Should I take a risk? What if he rejects me? What if he doesn't speak to me again? Maybe Luke is right. Maybe I have to give it shot if I ever want to have someone by my side. Stop thinking about the whole matter, Raito leaned forward and sealed L's lips with his own.