Against the Winds of Fate

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.

If you read Hiding My Masked Affection first, you might like this story a little more. :) Enjoy!

One- Betrayal

Sokka

I remember a time when I used to look up at my father. I was young and he was an adult, towering above me with his might. He was the chief of my tribe and that made me like a prince; I held power but he held more. Every time I looked up at his face I would be blinded by the sun. So I became his shadow, following him everywhere and mimicking his actions. My mother would only laugh and my sister would her point finger accusingly, telling me to 'be myself', but I'd never been an original person. I had to have an example, something to follow obediently. It came in different forms at different times; most often it was my sister, as I jumped in the water to save her from drowning. Or it might've been Gran-Gran as she taught me how to hunt across the icy tundra. There were moments in my early childhood that it was my mother who taught me. I would clutch her dress and hide behind it, shying away from people with foreign faces.

And then, during a Fire Nation raid, I would follow any Water Tribe warrior I could see rushing into battle, my boomerang ready in my hand and courage thundering in my heart.

But I couldn't think of a better person, a more accurate person to follow than my father. He wouldn't, couldn't make mistakes, and he'd always have a hand extended to me with a smile on his face. I remember that smile. I have the same one. Katara claims that it's goofy but I think it's bold. Fearless like a moose-lion and enchanting as a snow-owl.

It hurt so much when he closed his hand to me, tears swimming in his bright blue eyes as his smile faded. I didn't want to believe that he would be going away for a long time, leaving me, his little shadow, in the wintry weather of home while he heated the hopeful hearts of the world and won the war. I thought I was ready to go with him. I knew I could handle myself in the chaos of battle.

I didn't understand and protested as best I could.

A man, he said, was defined by the ability to know where he was needed the most. He told me that I was needed with my sister, with my village. He didn't understand. What about my needs? I needed him! I needed something to follow. Without him I was lost, forced to stand up on my feet and create my own shadow.

But I never found a way to stand up.

I would always come so close to it, so close to brushing my fingers tips against the sun, but trouble would always arise and I would stumble and fall. My face would land in icy snow and the bitter taste of failure would linger in my mouth. I would throw my boomerang to hit my enemy without touching him but it would always miss, coming too late to my rescue.

I didn't understand how my father could know exactly what to say to people to reassure them and I never got how Katara could wield so much power and know when to use it to protect people. She had potential. My father had everything. Me? I'm just a sixteen year old kid with a boomerang. I didn't ask for all these confusing signs and difficult obstacles. What powers do I have? Just an overprotective nature around my sister and humor. Not much to stand in battle. I think that's why my father left me here, using pathetic words of wisdom to calm me into a sense of comprehension. He knew I would be a failure. He knew that if I strayed too far from the men whom protected me, I would be slaughtered. Gone, just like that. Katara explained to me that he wouldn't be able to deal with the loss of his son so soon after the loss of his wife. And I believed her. That made perfect sense...at the time. Apparently he didn't see it that way because one day, two years and a half years after the freeing of the Avatar, we got a letter that explained everything to us.

His words were so painful I have them memorized...

Dear Sokka and Katara,

It's so nice to be able to contact you again! The war has been won and Fire Lord Ozai has been defeated by the Avatar. The tribesman will be safe to come home again. We haven't lost many and the new Fire Lord is being very lenient with the compensations for our battle wounds. Soon the tribesmen will begin their safe journey home to you. I won't be coming on the ship though. I'll be staying in the Fire Nation to attend to some business; there's another little reason keeping me here. I'm going to try and explain it to you the best I can and I know you probably won't understand. You're both very young but just know that I am still so proud of you. I didn't do this to betray our tribe or you. In fact, I did it for you. I did it in the hope that everything will be okay again.

Remember your mother? She had Katara's eyes. She was beautiful, like the moon. She kept us together and she provided the foundation for every step we took. Everywhere I looked she'd be there waiting for me to come home and take her in my arms. She raised you both beautifully and did far more for this family than I ever dreamed she'd do. That's why I fell in love with her. When she died, I thought I could never love again. My heart was torn into so many pieces that I think I lost some of them. When she died, part of me died with her. The pain still haunts my every thought.

So please forgive me when I tell you that now, I have found someone else. She's like your mother, similar in so many wonderful ways. She's got eyes the color of the most exquisite purple Water Tribe dye and she has skin that matches luminescent moonlight. She's so kind, selfless and fell in love with my children the moment I spoke your names. She loves me in the same, desperate way that I love her, and we were wed not long after meeting. She's the sun that my world revolves around and I can't bring myself to leave ever again the person I adore to the point of madness. What's best is that she is Fire Nation. The daughter of a peaceful Fire Nation noble, in fact, who always opposed the war and helped end it. Her family has been good to me in ways you will never know.

I justify my acts with my heart, my heart this new love has set ablaze, and with the guilt I feel for not providing my children with a mother. Though she has little experience with children, she is more than ready to take on the challenge of motherhood. She'll be the best she can ever be to you, and can't wait to set her eyes on you for the first time. So when the ship bearing the men of our tribe comes, take it back to the Earth Kingdom and come to us. The ship arrives in less than a week so be ready with all that you cannot bear to part with. You'll have the most enticing adventure living in the Fire Nation. There's no snow and every color that you can imagine! The sun sets and rises every day and the people are very hospitable. Be with me once more, I beg you. Meet your new mother. You'll fall in love with her too, I promise you that.

If you cannot come, I'll always be here waiting. If you do come, you won't have to stay long. You'll stay as long as you like or just for the summer. You can leave for the Southern Water Tribe in the winter. Bato will take charge of the tribe until Sokka comes of age and then, my son, you shall lead our village with the confidence and power I know you possess. And for you, Katara, I can secure a passage to our sister tribe up north to learn waterbending from Master Pakku. You'll became the master you were always destined to be.

I love you both beyond words and I look forward to having you and your new mother all in my arms: the family that was always meant to be.

From your loving father,

Hakoda

I think that the night the letter arrived was the first time I remembered my mother's face in years. It was also the first time I cried, screaming in pain at the moon and begging for this not to be real. The ship docked at our harbour right on schedule and though I looked for the strong, radiant face I knew so well, I only saw familiar men I couldn't name.

The pain gnaws me from the inside out. And so I just sit and wait for it go away, not having an example to follow.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope that you enjoyed this. Also, thank you eleventy7 for beta-ing this! You really made the difference!

-spockjasperzukowriting