Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series is not mine.
A/N: Harry is in Bold. Hermione is Italicized. And Draco is Underlined.
Summary: Draco and Hermione attempt to write a book, using quick-notes quills. An ABC book. And each of the words have something to do with their relationship. Leanr the ABC's Draco and Hermione's way.
Thanks to Darren's Wings and Larry the Stapler for editing!
ABCDMHG
By Hermione and Draco Malfoy And Harry Potter
A is for Arrogance. No, it's not! It's for Amazingness. Draco, that's not even a real word. Well I can make it one! –rolls eyes- Ignore him.
B is for Books. And for Boring. You know what! You're sleeping outside tonight!
C is for Caviar. C can also be for Complacency. Hermione, we're writing a book for children. They don' t know what complacency is. I don't even know what complacency is! It's smugness. Oh…never mind. Keep it in there, it fits.
D is for Debonair. You wish! No, it's for Delicate. That makes no sense! What does delicate have to do with our relationship? –raises an eyebrow- Well there's Lord Voldemort You mean Lord Moldy Butt and your father and the rest of the Wizarding world. What do they have to do with everything? Well, Lord Voldemort wants to kill you…and me…and a bunch of other people. Your father is always trying to break us up and get us divorced or whatever. And the Wizarding world keeps publishing rubbish about us. Hermione? Yes? You think too deeply about this kind of stuff. What do you mean? I mean that you should have just kept it at Debonair! Hmph.
E is for Egotism. I won't argue with that. It's pretty true. Oh, and don't forget Enamor, because I'm totally enamored with you. Nope, you're still sleeping outside. Damn.
F is for Fashionable. Draco, honey, you have problems.
G is for Guile. Hello! Children's book! Do you really think that a 5 year old known what guile means? Ohh sorry…guile means crafty and cunning. No. Let's put Gorgeous. Because you are the most gorgeous person I have ever laid eyes on. –rolls eyes-
H is for Horrifying! Harry? What are you doing here? Get out Potter, this is our book.
I is for Idiotic. Haha That's true. Malfoy is an idiot. Hey! I resent that! I'm not an idiot. I'm just a bit crazy. Crazy in love with you. Don't try to sweet talk me. You're still sleeping outside. Eww! Shut up Potter.
J is for Jam! Jam? Yeah remember how I spread jam everywhere and licked it off…Draco! This is a children's book! Don't mention sex in here. Hermione, you genius, you just did. I never said anything about could have thought I meant bread. Oops –blush- Oh My Gosh! Too much information! I'm scarred for life.
K is for Kicking.Huh? Well, Hermione always kicks me when I'm being inappropriate. But I haven't kicked you that much lately. That's because Hermione trained her Ferret really well. –snarl-
L is for Lying because we had to lie to everyone to keep our relationship a secret during the war. Hmm that's true.Hmph I'm still mad at you for that. Harry, didn't we already ask you to leave? Yes. But I never listen to you.
M is for Magical. Because we're a witch and a wizard…that makes sense! No, it's for Magical because you are the most magical part of my life and being with you is like a dream. –throws up- Uggh Nope, you're still sleeping outside.
N is for Nostalgic! What? Why? I don't know…I just like that word. –smirks- And Hermione says I have problems.
O is for Omniscient. Aww…You're so sweet! Huh? What does onimesient mean? The word is omniscient, Potter. Go look it up in a dictionary.
P is for Problems! That actually works. We all know Draco needs psychological help. I recommend Snape…Though he currently has a very bothersome patient… Really? Maybe I should send Dray to him sometime soon. No, it'll take a while. The patient is Voldemort. Ohh…never mind. Snape has his hands full.
Q is for Questions.Yes, because you're too stupid to figure things out for yourself, so you're always asking Hermione. Hmm how did you know? Hermione! You're supposed to defend me! -snort-
R is for Romantic. Romantic? The ferret knows how to be romantic? I'm surprised. Potter…Oh, I'm sooo scared. –growls- Shut up Potter before I hit you. Bring it on, Ferret! Stop bickering boys!
S is for Sarah. What does your wife have to do with this?Well, you helped us get together.He does have a point, you know. We were the ones that set them up on that date.
T is for Telephine.You mean telephone. Yeah whatever.I'm confused. Then just leave! Dray, leave him alone. Well, I'm teaching Draco how to use the telephone. –laughs- Good luck with that. –growls-
U is for Ugly. What?! Hey!Sorry, Hermione. I meant Malfoy. Oh. Okay. I'm not ugly! Am I? No, of course you're not, Draco. You are very handsome.
Vis for Violin because Draco is wonderful at playing the violin. Of course I am. After 10 years worth of music lessons, it'd be pitiful if I didn't.It's okay. You're pitiful enough as it is.
W is for Wizarding and Witchcraft. Whatever. It works. Oh, I found out what Omniscient means! Good for you.It means "Having universal knowledge; knowing all things; infinitely knowing or wise." Yay me! –rolls eyes-
X is for Xylophone. Why? Because it's the only word I can think of. For once, I agree with Potter. I'd rather not get a migraine form trying to find and appropriate word that starts with the letter X.
Y is for Yellow.Because? Hermione looks beautiful in the color yellow. Aww. Too bad. No sweet talking me. It won't work. You're still going to sleep on the sofa tonight.
Z is for ZZZZZZZzzzz. What are you talking about? Sorry to break it to you honey, but you snore. HAHAHAHA Shut the hell up, Potter! Draco! Language! This is supposed to be for children.
The End
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