A/N: Hi everyone. I know all of you want an update for Prey and/or Countdown. Trust me, I'm working on them as we speak. I've just started my last semester of school and things are kind of hectic.
Anyway, Lillybug991 gave me this idea and I'm running with it. Normally I don't like working within canon cause I like changing things around, but I kind of like the challenge. Time to show the writers of SVU the countless times they could have conceivably made an EO relationship happen.
I shall be using episodes from across the spectrum. Bear in mind though I'm writing a lot of these from memory, so it might have a few errors :)
Disclaimer: If the episodes presented do not match what you see on TV, then I do not own SVU.
Also, if you guys haven't seen American Sniper, do so. It is the best movie ever!
This story is dedicated to Lillybug991. And a special thanks to Stabson for betaing.
Enjoy and review :)
The Way it Should Have Been
A series by The Congressman
Part One: Underbelly
The elevator doors closing in front of her, Olivia sighed and slumped against the wall. It had been a long several months away from the precinct, and she had to admit she missed the place. Hell, she spent more of the last nine years of her life here than in her own apartment; there were still unopened boxes buried in the back of her closet from God knows when.
Leaning her head back and closing her eyes, her mind flashed back to the adventures over the last three months. Dealing with those ecoterrorists trying to blow up the corporate headquarters, Dana shanghaiing her as part of the FBI undercover op, abandoning Olivia Benson for Persephone James running across Oregon with those tree hugging nutjobs protesting logging camps and coal plants… She was lucky to take a bath once a week, boy she smelled like a, well hippie.
One memory stood out like no other. They had been in the Salem Jail infirmary after a protest; Olivia had been knocked out by a state policeman when they cracked down a protest against a logging company. The cop had been a bit excessive, but she could understand where he was coming from. The protesters were an angry bunch, swearing and hurling invective, bottles, and cans at the line of police. If she had been in the line Olivia couldn't have sworn she'd have restrained herself either. When she woke up from unconsciousness the next day:
"You ok Persephone?"
She blinked her eyes, rubbing a throbbing headache in the back of her head. "Yeah, just a little pain from Five O there. No biggie."
The girl nodded. "So who's Elliot?"
Olivia froze in the bed. "What?"
"You kept whispering the name Elliot in your sleep. Someone you knew?"
"Yeah," she admitted, not wanting to go into it, not just because of her cover.
"Based on your reaction now he must have meant a lot to you.
Even now her companion's words rang true in her mind. In her nine years in SVU Olivia had made most of her strongest friendships. The quirky and hilarious John Munch, always equipped with a joke about JFK or Ruby Ridge. The intimidating but dependable Fin Tutuola, protecting her on the job like a big brother. The ADAs Alex Cabot and Casey Novak, fighting for the victims in the courtroom as she did on the street. It was nice having woman friends who knew what the job was like, given that she was the only female detective at the 1-6. There was Don Cragen, the closest thing to a father figure she ever had. She could go to him with any problem, especially in the seven years since her mother collapsed down the subway steps and broke her neck.
However, no relationship from her nine years could compare to the one she had had with Elliot Stabler. The blue eyed detective was many things to her, her partner, her best friend, the man who understood her more than all her previous boyfriends combined. It was as she told him long before, he had been the longest relationship she ever had with a man.
Ever since the incident in the Salem City Jail, Olivia had conducted some intense soul searching about her feelings for Elliot. The last year had been a rather tough one in their partnership, and it had been on the rocks when she abruptly left. In the preceding weeks, she had come to a conclusion, a conclusion her subconscious had known long before her conscious had admitted it. She loved him.
Olivia Benson loved Elliot Stabler.
A sharp ding interrupted her thoughts, the elevator doors opening to her floor. This was it, the moment of truth. She had prepped herself for this, wearing a purple t-shirt, stylish jeans that hugged her curves, and put her hair up in a tasteful ponytail all to see Elliot again. The moment had played over and over in her head, she'd step out of the elevator, walk along the hallway, enter the bullpen, look at her old desk where sitting right next to it would be…
An unfamiliar blonde woman writing a DD5. 'Strange.' Undaunted, she walked into the bullpen toward the desk. The blonde looked up. "Yes? Can I help you with something?"
"Yeah, hi," replied Olivia. "Is Detective Stabler in? I need to speak with him."
"He stepped out for a moment, but I'm his partner Dani Beck."
For some reason, Olivia felt a stab of jealousy. Why, she didn't know; of course they'd assign a new partner to him while she was away. 'But I'm his partner damn it!' Shaking the thoughts out of her head, she smiled at her replacement. "No, no, it's alright. Is the Captain in?"
"Yep, he's in his office ma'am."
"Thanks." Taking a deep breath, Olivia knocked on Cragen's door.
"Come in." Don Cragen looked up from his reading and saw Olivia enter. "Liv, God it's good to see you," he smiled, rising out of his chair to give her a hug. "When did you get back?"
"Yesterday. They needed me for a court case and the op with the Feds ended early so… I'm back."
"That's great," he said. He was ecstatic that one of his best detectives had returned. Elliot hadn't been the same since she left abruptly without a word, especially with the whole divorce and not being able to see his kids. He'd be thrilled. "So are you ready to come back on the team?"
Looking behind her, Olivia felt her breath hitch seeing Elliot walk into the bullpen, to her. He approached the new detective's desk and they seemed friendly, intimate even. She was laughing at something he said and he was resting a hand on her shoulder; things that they used to do together.
Olivia had a plan for tonight, come in, see Elliot, confess her feelings, and hope he'd reciprocate. But seeing him with her made Olivia realize something. He didn't deserve her. Dealing with the pain of his divorce, the horror they saw every day, Elliot needed someone without the emotional baggage she had. She loved him, and because of that she had to let him go.
Cragen watched as she shook her head. "Not just yet Cap. I need to deal with a few things, rest a bit before coming back. Living as a hippie for the last several months is not easy." Olivia chuckled.
"I can imagine. That's alright Olivia. Let me know when you're ready."
"Will do." Olivia smiled at her captain and headed for the back door.
"Wait Liv. Aren't you going to see Elliot?"
She looked back and saw him working at his desk across from the new detective. "He seems busy, maybe another time." With that she headed toward the elevator.
Sighing, Cragen plopped down in his chair. "When are those two going to learn some sense?" he muttered.
EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO
"So how long do you think Victor's going away for?" Elliot heard his temporary Partner ask.
"We've got him dead to rights on the murders," he replied. "Judge'll probably sentence him to the max, consecutive sentences, 75 years to life."
"Couldn't have happened to a better person," Dani stated.
Elliot nodded, leaning back on his chair and stretching his arms. The case had been a rough one; they were all rough in one way or the other, but lately the job had been taking a greater toll on Elliot these days. He missed his kids, the last time he saw them being several months before. He talked with Maureen before, and there was the time where Kathleen screamed at him when he threw her boyfriend in jail, 'Brain dead slacker.' Aside from that, nothing.
However the worst thing had been Olivia leaving. In the nine years since they met, she had become his rock, more so than Kathy ever was. She had been by his side in his best and his worst moments, as he had been for hers. She was his partner and confidant, able to discuss problems that he could never approach anyone else with.
Everything that had happened in the last months had made Elliot realize something. When he told her that she and the job were all he had left, he meant it. She was his everything.
Elliot Stabler loved Olivia Benson.
When she left for the second time however, Elliot knew that it wasn't meant to be. She, the most amazing woman he ever had the pleasure of knowing deserved better than him, a divorced forty year old with only one relationship to his name that ended in failure. She deserved the world and he was not the person who could give it to her.
He still loved her though, missing the friendly moments they'd share together; getting coffee, enjoying Chinese food on her couch at ten PM, laughing at Munch's hilarious conspiracy theories. Most of all though he missed her smile, the smile coupled with the twinkling chocolate brown eyes that lit up a room. 'When are you coming back Liv? I miss you.'
"Elliot?"
"Huh?" he asked, Dani's voice pulling him out of his memories.
"I asked if you would like a drink? The case bummed me out and I could use one."
Would he like a drink? In the last several months since Gitano, alone without his kids and without Olivia, the once incorruptible Elliot Stabler had mostly sat in his new apartment and drank alone. The solitude was unwanted and the alcohol was the only thing that made it bearable. So would he like a drink? "Sure," he smiled at her. He could use a drinking buddy, and who knew? Elliot looked Dani up and down. She was an attractive woman, and since Liv and he would never happen there was nothing stopping him. He wanted to forget his feelings for a little while and here was Dani.
They strode to the elevator together and were about to enter when Dani remembered something. "Oh Elliot, this woman was looking for you earlier."
"Really?" Could it have been Kathy? "Blonde and tall?"
"No, she was a brunette, olive skin, and had brown eyes. She asked for you by name but when I told her you weren't here she went in to see the Captain. Funny, it seemed like the woman knew her way around here. Elliot?"
His mind was dead to the world right now, focused on one thing and one thing only. 'Olivia.' She had been here, at the precinct. She didn't even want to see him.
A dark, foreboding rage began to form in his gut. 'How dare she? How dare she not even come to see me after being gone for all this time?' Did he mean so little to her after all that time?
'We can't keep choosing each other over the victims,' his voice from so long ago rang through his head but Elliot didn't care. In the thousands of times he replayed the moment in his head, the moment in the station, Elliot knew he would have done the exact same thing. He would always choose Olivia because she meant everything to him, and that was why her betrayal tonight hurt so much. 'Fuck this, I'm not going to let this slide.' "Dani, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take a rain check."
She looked a bit disappointed but shrugged it off. "That's alright. See you tomorrow Stabler."
"See you," he called back, running to the stairs and down three steps at a time. If Olivia wouldn't come to see him, then he was damn well going to go to see her.
EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO
Solitude, the old friend little missed but always making itself home. Sitting on her old, leather couch, feet tucked underneath her lap, and a glass of white wine in her hand, Olivia stared at the TV with a blank expression on her face. Normally when watching Black Hawk Down, her favorite movie of all time, she'd be engrossed in the intense combat and patriotism but now her mind was preoccupied.
Elliot, it all boiled down to Elliot. Sure, she had only realized her true feelings for him recently but Olivia had to admit they had been building for a while now. The connection had been there from the moment Cragen introduced her to the squad, apparent after gaining the highest case clearance rate in the department in only three short months. By last year they shared everything and were as close as platonic friends could be.
Then Gitano happened; it was one of those one and a million situations when a person's worst nightmares came true, taking that person and testing them to the limit. At the end, Elliot had basically come out and said that she was the most important person in his life, but what did she do? She ran to computer crimes and then to Oregon like a coward. What did the FBI need her for anyway? The people she was investigating weren't terrorists; deranged whackjobs definitely but not terrorists. She could have easily said no and stayed with Elliot. But she ran, ran away from her problems and feelings without even saying goodbye. Olivia was ashamed at herself, and knew that as much as she loved Elliot she couldn't be with him. For the unwanted, cowardly child of rape solitude was what she deserved.
A loud bang on the door to her apartment caused her to jump, heart palpitating. Was Mrs. Jacobs locked out of her apartment again?
"Liv! Damn it I know you're here! Open the door!"
"Elliot," she whispered to no one in particular. 'How did he find out?' The new partner, her replacement, must have told him and being the detective he was Elliot figured it out.
He wasn't letting up. "I'm not leaving till I see you so open the fucking door!"
She contemplated ignoring him until he gave up but she knew how stubborn he was. Also, part of her, hell all of her, wanted to see him; wanted to see his face after so long regardless of what his mood was. Rising off the couch, she plodded to the door, unlatched the dead bolt, and opened the door.
About to slam his fist on the door again, Elliot stilled himself when Olivia opened it. For a moment, all his rage disappeared as he gazed upon the woman he hadn't seen in three long months. She was dressed casually, shoulder length hair pulled up in a ponytail. Instead of the stylish blouses and jeans she normally wore she was in sweats and an NYPD t-shirt, his NYPD t-shirt. She was beautiful, even now.
However, that still didn't change the fact she hadn't cared enough to see him at all, the anger bubbling up again. "We need to talk Liv," he seethed, storming into the apartment.
Olivia had seen pissed-off Elliot before but never like this. On some level she understood but this was too much. No matter what happened he had no right to treat her this way. "What the hell Elliot? You have no right…"
"No, you have no right Liv!" he yelled, turning around to face her. "You come over to say hi to Cragen but not me? I thought I was your best friend!"
'Right to the point as always El.' "You are my best friend Elliot."
"Yeah right," he sneered, chucking dryly. "If I was you'd care enough to at least call. At least now I know how much I mean to you, so thank you for that."
Her eyes widened at his sarcastic snarl, jaw dropping. Yes she loved him, yes she felt guilty, but this was over the line. "You know what Elliot, fuck you! You think you're the only guy out there with problems, but you're not!"
"Oh yeah, Liv; you've got problems too, but you want to know something? Something that's the difference between you and me? I deal with them while you run away, run away from everything. You ran away from the job, ran away from your friends, ran away from me! Me! Your best friend without even a letter! Can you understand the pain I was in because of it?"
"Exactly El, it's all about you! You can't ever see things in anyone else's perspective at all!"
"I 'understand' your feelings just fine Olivia."
"No! You can't possibly understand El!" Olivia normally had steely control over her emotions but God this man knew which buttons to push. "Can you imagine what it's like? To care for someone with all your heart knowing that there can be nothing? No, you can't, there's no way."
"Yes I do."
She swiveled around, flabbergasted. 'What did he just say?'
His response was completely unexpected. Without warning Elliot closed the distance and slammed his lips against hers. Olivia gasped in shock, which Elliot took advantage by deepening the kiss. A moan escaped her before she could stop it, the rage turning into heated passion as she reciprocated, tongue's dueling with wild abandon.
Her brain was shutting down but Olivia didn't care; Elliot's lips were like magic, massively better than she imagined. Without thinking she grabbed the hem of his shirt and untucked it, running her hands along his bare back underneath it. She felt his hands cup her breasts through her t-shirt, causing a shudder of pleasure to course through her as she dug her nails into his well sculpted muscles.
They broke the kiss, panting and resting their foreheads against the other. "El," she answered.
Elliot was breathing heavily. "Yes Liv."
She looked into his eyes. "We need to talk," she told him, the anger forgotten.
Nodding, he took her hand in his and led her to the couch. They sat next to the other, only a foot separating them and hands clasped together. "I know what it's like Olivia," he whispered softly, staring into her eyes. "The truth is I've known for quite a while now since there is a person that fit's that mold. That person is you."
"El…"
"No, let me finish please. After that incident with Gitano, I was angry yes. Angry that I didn't save that poor boy. As a police officer it is my duty to protect the innocent but thinking back on it, there is nothing I would have done differently."
She stared at him, shocked beyond belief. Their entire argument, screaming at each other about keeping the victims first, he wouldn't change what happened? "Why?" she asked in a whisper.
He couldn't believe he was telling her this, the thing that he had kept hidden for so long. Elliot couldn't let her leave again however; if telling her even had a miniscule chance of keeping her in his life then he would do it and damn the consequences. "I'd do it again because you're everything to me. I can't do this job without you, hell I can't live without you. I… I… I love you Olivia."
What? He loved her? Olivia's breath hitched. "You love me?"
"Yes." There was no hesitation.
"But what about Kathy?"
"She and I are done Liv. The papers were sent to me a week ago."
"And my replacement?" she asked softly.
"Beck? She could never replace you Olivia."
"But, but…"
Knowing her like the back of his hand, Elliot leaned in and resumed their kiss. Both moaned in each other's mouths as Elliot snaked his arms around her waist while Olivia looped hers around his neck, tangling her hands in his hair.
"I love you too," she breathed. Elliot smiled and pulled her to him, enveloping her in his embrace. Olivia nuzzled his chest. "I'm sorry El."
"I'm sorry too Liv. I don't ever want to be away from you again."
She gave him a wide smile, her eyes darkening. "Then don't."
Elliot's eyes widened at her tone, low and seductive. "Are you sure?"
"We've waited too long already. Make love to me El."
With a growl Elliot grabbed her ass and lifted her into his arms, latching his lips to her neck and carrying her into the bedroom.
EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO
Several hours later, Elliot woke from a light doze, taking in the unfamiliar room. It scared and confused him for a moment until he heard a light breathing next to him. A smile formed across his face at the sight before him. Olivia was sleeping next to him on her stomach, her head resting on a pillow and her face turned toward him, serene in sleep. A blanket covered her up to her hips, the olive skin of her back illuminated by the soft moonlight. Almost instinctively, Elliot reached out and started stroking the column of her spine, loving the feel of her soft skin on his fingertips.
Opening her eyes, Olivia gazed upon him with a soft smile, the activities they had engaged in repeatedly in the preceding hours coming back to mind. She couldn't get enough of him. "Am I dreaming?" she whispered.
"Not at all baby," Elliot responded. "This is as real as it gets. You're stuck with me now."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," she replied, leaning over to kiss him.
At that moment Elliot's phone began to buzz. Groaning, he reached for it and flipped it open. "Stabler. Dani what is it? When? Ok I'll be right over." Closing it, he slipped out of bed and began to dress.
"A case?" Olivia asked, trusting Elliot completely.
"Yep, our main witness was just kidnapped by a guy with a scar that matches our perp. Duty calls." Seeing the understanding on her face, Elliot smiled at her and kissed her one last time. "I'll be back Liv. Wait for me?"
"Always," she replied. "I love you El."
"I love you too Liv." With a grin and a wink he left the room.
Stretching languidly across the bed, she finally felt at ease. Olivia Benson was done running; she had everything she ever wanted now, and she'd be damned if anyone or anything would take it away from her.
A/N: And there's the first fixed episode. Hope you guys liked it.
Just a note, these won't be smut-fics. I may put some in when it's warranted, but nothing more.
Please let me know what you think. I have many picked out but I would love to hear any requests :)
Next up: Above Suspicion.
God Bless