"...and welcome back to Anime Jeopardy. This is Alex Trebeck; let's take a look at the scores.

"Aang, representing Avatar: The Last Airbender, is in a commanding lead with negative eight dollars. Not entirely sure how he managed to do that."

Aang waved his stick in the air. "I can fly, I tell you! FLY!"

"Wonderful. In second place is Light Yagami, representing Death Note, with a score of negative four thousand dollars."

"L," snarled Light. "You're behind this. I know it. But I'll get you! I SWEAR I'LL GET YOU!"

"And..." Trebeck sighed. "Once again... Ban Midou is in third, with negative ten thousand dollars."

"You think you're pretty goddamn clever with your Daily Doubles, don't you?" Ban adjusted his sunglasses. "Well, you know what? I did it double. With your mother."

"Let's take a look at the categories. They are 'Things that are over Nine Thousand', 'Potent Potables'-"

"Ooh! I want that one! Yeah!" interrupted Aang.

"We haven't started playing, Mr. Avatar," said Trebeck. "'Names beginning with M,' 'Free Food', - note that in that category you get both points and food automatically – 'That Funky Music', 'Sounds Doggies Make', and..." There was a pause. "Oh god, why would they do this? 'Dragonballs.'"

Ban erupted into laughter. "My day has come, Trebeck!"

"Don't even think about it, Mr- "

"I got a couple of dragons right here, buddy!"

"Oh god! Pull up your pants!" Trebeck turned to the director. "Don't cut to him until he gets his pants back on."

There was a brief scuffle as Ban's pants were restored to him.

"You know, I was going to the board to you, Mr. Midou, but I'll give it to Mr. Aang instead. Mr. Aang, pick a category – May I suggest Free Food."

"I choose Dragonballs for two hundred!"

Ban burst into laughter, slamming his podium. Trebeck hanged his head in despair.

"A character wished for this fluffy white object in an early chapter of Dragonball."

Ban rang in. "Your mother!"

BZZT!

"No, Mr. Midou."

Light rang in, grinning maniacally. "A rudimentary mistake, Mr. Midou! What is your mother?!"

BZZT!

"God dammit, L! I'll destroy you utterly!" shrieked Light.

Aang rang in. "Who is your mother?!"

BZZT

Aang burst into tears.

"My god!" yelled Trebeck. "My mother is not involved in Jeopardy in any way!"

"I tell you what she is involved with – my dragons!"

"That is completely out of line-"

"I call them Mr. Rogers and Funkytown."

"Mr. Yagami, why don't you pick a category?"

Light examined the board. "Choosing potent potables would be absurd... Dragonballs exposes us to further quips from Midou... damn, I'm running out of options... I can't... I MUST ACT! I choose... NAMES THAT BEGIN WITH M FOR EIGHT HUNDRED!"

"This Nintendo character's name ends in 'ario'."

Aang slammed on his buzzer. "Wario!"

Trebeck gave him a dirty look. "No.

Light rang in. "Who is Mello!"

"No."

"RARGH!!!!" Light sank to his knees.

"Ya win some you lose some," said Midou, offhandedly.

"Like I won your mother?" shouted Aang.

Ban belly-laughed. "You have potential, kid!"

"That's enough," said Trebeck, sourly. "Why don't we just move on to final jeopardy? The category is 'Draw a smiley face'." The music started and the lights dimmed. "Just draw a happy face. It could be just a circle with two dots and a curved mouth on it, or you could draw the next Mona Lisa. I really don't care. Just draw a vaguely happy face."

The music stopped, and Trebeck strode to Aang's podium. "Now let's see how all of you ruined this. Aang, you drew... a frowning face."

: - (

"Why did you draw that?! It was a simple instruction!"

"I'm incredibly sad on the inside," said Aang, looking at the ground.

"That's great. And you wagered... One Shekel."

He moved on to Light.

"Mr. Yagami. Your answer was...

'A potato chip.'

"We told you to draw a face, and you wrote 'a potato chip'."

"AND I'LL EAT IT!"

"Beautiful. And you wagered... 'Aang'. You... wagered Aang. What do you mean by that?"

Light grinned evilly.

"...right... Let's move on to Mr. Midou. For better or worse. Well, worse." He went over to Ban. "Mr. Midou, you wrote..."

'= - D'

Trebeck stared , dumbfounded. "My god, you got it right. Are we filming this? Are we sure? Alright, let's see what you wagered-"

"Yargh!" yelled Aang, stumbling away from his podium. Clutching at his chest, he fell to his knees at the center of the set, gasping for breath; he finally hit the ground and lay there, dead.

There was a silence. "I suppose we should call the paramedics. Beautiful. Mr. Midou, you wagered...

'= - D

'^ That's the face your mother made'

"I should have seen that coming. Elegantly done, Mr. Midou."

"Don't mess with tha maestro, mofo!"

"Well, that's it for Anime Jeopardy," said Trebeck, stepping away from Ban. "The show hit a new low today, having just become the site of a homicide. Good night, and excuse me while I go down a few bottles of whisky."

fin