Harry smiled as he finally understood, nodding to himself, and said triunmphantly,

"So... you're promoting gay relationships?"

Everyone turned to the new first year in shock. Ron Weasley stepping away from him slightly, he wasn't a homophobe but... he didn't like the thought of his new best friend being so open minded. Percy Weasley was the one to bridge the question,

"What do you mean?"

Harry gestured to the stairs,

"The stairs!"

Everyone stepped away a little further. Is this kid crazy or what?

"What... about the stairs?"

Harry's smile wavered,

"Well, it only makes sense doesn't it? You're trying to promote gay relationships and experimentation by not allowing boys up the girls stairs? So that boys can find each other more easily, and have the excuse of not investing in a relationship with a girl by saying 'the stairs won't let me'. Its not... real, is it? The stairs don't truly do that?"

Percy's eye twitched slightly, whilst everyone else started making exclamations of "the stairs do that, they do!" "nothing goes on like that in the boy's dorm" "are you nuts!" He said to the young boy placatingly,

"That's not what this is about. The rule may be slightly sexist against boys but it works as a proper deterrent. Magic can increase a child's hormones, especially a boy's, and it is important to sequester the sexes. Its not about... same-sex relations. And... And... the stairs do work. They do change into a slide."

Harry's eyes narrowed at that. Not believing a school would do something like that, and took a courageous step onto the stairs, ignoring the shouts from people to stop.

Then he took another and another until he was in the middle of the staircase, feeling proud in the knowledge that he was correct.

He turned, looking smug and triumphant, to the shocked group of students.

"Like I said, I thought it was a brilliant way to foster equality."

Then he stepped away and up to his own dorm room, wondering idly about if wands were necessary as well, or simply a trick to get people tracked by the Ministry.

But... that couldn't be, the government would never do something so sinister.