"Sherlock," Mrs. Hudson whispered into her tenant's ear. "Give me the keys to the car."
Martha's eyes were glazed over in a drunken stupor as she rubbed up against Sherlock's back, trying to reach the keys he was extending forward.
"Mrs. Hudson, you are drunk," Sherlock cooed. "And I cannot in good conscious give you control of the automobile, please let me drive you."
Sherlock then turned around, and Mrs. Hudson threw up all over his head, sensually into his earlobes and up and down his long, strangely handsome face. The arousal that Sherlock felt for his surrogate mother was unsurpassed by any desire he felt ever in his life.
The vomit soaked through Martha's thin dress and exposed her tantalized nipples in perfect cinematic color. The stimulation was too much; Sherlock's miniscule member unleashed a furious one-two punch of semen and urine.
"Sherlock! Ah! That's hot! Your weirdly long face is turning me on so hard, oh my!" Mrs. Hudson suddenly turned away. "Is there... is there semen in that urine? What in gods name?"
Sherlock became red in his vomitty long face and started running down the street, the wind cooling his areolas to perfection. He was crying.
Suddenly, when Sherlock turned the corner, he noticed a naked and masturbatory John Watson masturbating. John's palms were so sweaty and covered in Sherlock's pee from earlier, and as soon as he saw the hypnotic hard-on of his Holmey he came into his own hair. HA!
Sherlock started running away again, but he saw John's nimble feet and he pooped his pants out of jealousy.
Mrs. Watson drove home, and upon arrival wrote all of this down.
Now you know how my afternoon went, how was yours?
*Cue Sherlock Theme Song*