They were right there in front of her; The familiar coping mechanism that Amelia Shepherd had come to rely on. The little bag on the table, goading her, mocking her. Why she'd bought them she didn't know, she'd been coping a hell of a lot better since her big brother Derek's death. She gazed at them, almost mesmerised, resisting that pull, the desperate urge. She looked at her cell phone, the one ironically sat beside the pills, the one that hadn't rung or chimed with messages, the one that surprisingly still worked, albeit with a shattered screen after she'd thrown it across the room in a fit of incomprehensible rage and sadness.
She made a stretch towards the table, her shaking hand hovering over the bag before hastily picking up the damaged cell phone. She furiously tapped in the all too familiar number, putting her phone on speaker, she placed it back on the table as it rang and leant forward elbows resting shakily on her knees as the instantly calming and familiar voice answered.
"Amy?"
"Lead me from temptation." She pleaded as she broke down. "Addie, please, I need you."
Those words were all Addison needed to hear to kick her into gear, yes she had distanced herself from Amelia since Derek had died, but she had distanced herself from the Shepherd family as a whole, not because she'd wanted to, more because she was unsure of the reaction it would cause if she kept playing her hand in her ex, now deceased, husband's life. She'd dressed in a hurry, mentally congratulating herself for managing to pack somewhat coordinating outfits in the short time it took for her to put the phone down and call a cab to the airport. Luck had also played it's part in the fact that she'd taken this upcoming week as a holiday. She arrived at the airport in quick time, she walked with purpose as she searched for a booking desk to buy a ticket to Seattle, to Amelia.
"When's your earliest flight to Seattle?" She asked the bright eyed attendant.
"Tomorrow morning I'm afraid." She replied apologetically.
"No worries, I'll have one ticket please. One way." Addison smiled handing over her credit card.
Amelia lay in a dreamless daze, blinking up at the dark ceiling. She hated them all; perfect Penny, Derek's executioner. Meredith, his dark and twisty wife, the rubbish sister. Callie, the defender of perfect Penny, the same Callie who had publicly dragged Amelia through the dirt. And Maggie, oh sweet naive Maggie who couldn't see right from wrong. Owen, the man who had shattered her heart. She hated them right to her very fragile core. Maybe that was how she'd ended up staring temptation down, maybe that's what had driven her to this hell hole of a motel in some god forsaken corner of hell. All Amelia knew was that she was fractured both in mind and reality, not knowing if she was coming or going. Breathing, existing but not really living, not in the utmost. At least she was still fighting, for what, she didn't know right now, but she was fighting as hard as she could to drag herself away from this, to survive.
She rolled over, the unshed tears in her eyes, she missed him, she needed him to pick her up, to dust her down and to tell her she was alright, that she was doing just fine. Sleep came to Amelia eventually, out of necessity of course, but it was a respite from her racing, aching mind and soul.
Addison landed in Seattle in the early breaking sunlight. She ached from falling asleep sitting up in the departure lounge before boarding her flight, nothing an Advil wouldn't cure later on, but right now Amelia was her priority.
The sound that her carry on suitcase made as she pulled it behind her grated on her nerves, she hastily scanned the information boards for a car rental place, and headed off towards it.
Amelia had her scars, most of them mental, unseen in the recesses of her mind, physical scars which held their own stories. Her favourite scar being the one on her left knee, the one she was rewarded with for jumping out of a tree trying to impress Derek and Mark when she was a child. She smiled at the memory, she had always wanted to be one of the boys, she always found their company much more appealing compared to that of her sisters. Now both men were gone, and Amelia reminisced about the past before her troubles.
Addison drove through the steadily building Seattle traffic, the address Amelia had given her was for a motel on the outskirts of the city. She flicked on the radio, an upbeat pop song filtered through the speakers, Addison began singing along, tapping her fingers to the beat as she crawled through traffic.
She needed someone to talk to, and Addison had seemed like the best choice compared to the dwindling list of people Amelia now had left, and there was no way that she'd want Nancy, Kate or Liz to know of this close relapse or have their all but guaranteed disappointment and angry opinions thrust at her. Amelia was nervous now, a sick to the stomach kind of nervous, she'd kept the temptation close, but only to prove to Addison that she hadn't touched it. She knew Addison would be disappointed, but understanding.
Addison finally pulled into the motel car park, the drive taking longer than she initially expected. The dilapidated building was a far cry from the usual hotels that Addison would opt to stay in, but it was ideal for someone who wanted to hide away from everything.
She parked up and stepped out onto the dirt covered car park, the morning light brightening up the hovel which Amelia had, unsurprisingly decided would be her retreat whilst she allowed herself to crumble and have a struggle, the positive this time being that where she could have allowed herself to give in and fall off the wagon, she had decided instead to call Addison. It made Addison proud, proud that Amelia had asked for support, proud that Amelia seemed to be facing her demons instead of chasing them away with pills and alcohol. Addison walked up towards the numbered door which Amelia had said she was in, she knocked gently, waiting patiently for Amelia to answer. After a few minutes the door opened and Addison smiled warmly at the smaller woman on the other side.
"Hello Amelia." Addison eased as Amelia blinked at her, tears filling her eyes.
"Hey, hey come here." Addison soothed as she pulled Amelia close wrapping her arms around her as Amelia sobbed.
"I've got your back Amelia." She soothed kissing her head. "I'll always have your back."
The moment the motel door was knocked at, instilled a sudden, quiet fear in Amelia, she wasn't sure what would happen when she opened it, what would be on the other side waiting. She shuffled slowly to the door, opening it to find Addison standing there patiently waiting for Amelia to answer, concern written on her face.
"Hello Amelia." She eased. Amelia blinked at her, tears filling her eyes.
"Hey, hey come here." The taller woman soothed as she pulled Amelia close and wrapped her arms around her as she sobbed. And then she said the words Amelia needed to hear.
"I've got your back Amelia." She soothed kissing her head. "I'll always have your back."
"Thank you Addie." She sobbed quietly. "Thank you."