Disclaimer: The characters within this story belong to Tamora Pierce
Tris gazed out her window in the house she, Daja and Briar shared. Looking out over the garden one last time before she had to leave for Lightsbridge the doubts she had had began to surface once again. She hated to leave the usually peaceful house behind which was arranged just the way she liked it. In Lightsbridge, she knew, things would be hectic and order would be nonexistent. Also, leaving meant being parted from her foster siblings and her new charge Glaki. No, Tris did not look forward to the leaving of home and friends but leaving the strangeness behind, now that was something that she'd been trying to do for a long time. The chance to be a normal student and learn with other students who wouldn't fear her was a chance she felt willing to take, despite all the things she would have to give up.
Sighing Tris turned away from her window. It was time to leave. She had already said goodbye to Glaki and her foster siblings and had just finished saying goodbye to the house. She reached for her bag but grasped nothing but empty air. Looking around she located her bag. The handle was gripped by a dark hand with scars looking like X's between the webbing of its fingers. She followed the hand up a likewise dark arm to a shoulder clothed in green.
Tris could not bring herself to look up at the face she knew was looking down at her. Saying goodbye to Briar had been hard, much harder than she'd expected. When Briar's free hand gently grabbed a hold of Tris' chin and tipped up her face so that he could look into her face, her eyes contained tears.
"You don't have to go you know," he said as he dropped his hand gently back to his side.
"I know, but I can't stand this any longer. Every one looks at me like I'm a thunderhead just waiting to burst open. I can't do it, I want to be normal. I want people to act like I have just the same amount of power as them, not an amount fifty times more." Tris' voice began rising in volume as she said this as if trying to convince herself of this fact.
"You can do it, you know you can. And it's not like you're doing it alone. I'm here to help, all your friends are here to help. Plus you only notice those people who stare at you like you're about to explode. You don't notice the shopkeeper at the book store who always saves you the books she thinks you'll like because you're her favorite customer. Or what about the fisher family whose child you saved using your power of the winds? They don't find anything wrong with you. What about all those people who care about you because of who you are? Are you saying that you don't want to be that special person who they care so much for, even love?" Briar shot back, although his voice stayed a deathly calm.
"I can't help it," cried Tris. "I don't want to be feared or worshipped because of my powers. I just want to be liked!" As she said this a single tear made its way down her cheek. It was perhaps that tear which kept Briar from saying more.
"Alright, alright," he said gruffly. "I'll walk you to the ship."
The two walked down the stairs and out of the house that they had shared together for so long. Down the path they went and through the streets that they had so often walked together. They walked together in silence but each with thoughts ringing loudly in their heads. As they neared the docks their footsteps slowed, each unwilling for the immanent parting to come. But despite this the docks were reached in too short a time and the ship quickly found.
Briar passed Tris' bag to a ship hand then turned to face Tris. Tris held out her hand, she had never been one to show much affection unless with Glaki. To her surprise Briar ignored her hand and enveloped her in a hug. Slowly she reacted and wrapped her arms around him. Here she almost began to cry but held it back.
Briar slowly released her then pushed her towards the ramp used for boarding. "See you later Coppercurls. Don't forget you non-normal friends." He said this last with a trace of bitterness in his voice. He couldn't help it.
Tris gave him a small smile, still trying to hold back tears. "I'll write Thiefboy. Don't you worry, I'm sure you won't let me forget about you." She gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder then hurried up the ramp.
The crewmen hauled up the ramp and the ship began to pull away from the docks. Tris waved at Briar then turned around to go to her room, she just wasn't sure if she could stand it any longer.
"Promise you'll come back to me!" Briar yelled as he saw Tris turn. He felt as if she was being wrenched from his grasp and no matter how hard he tried she was being taken away.
Startled by his words Tris turned back and looked at him. She just stared at him and Briar began to think she wasn't going to reply when he heard her voice in his head. I promise. Briar stood and watched the ship until it had vanished beyond the horizon.
As the last bit of mast disappeared Briar began his way back home. He felt forlorn and at the same time betrayed. Tris' leaving to seek normalness had seemed to him to be saying that she did not appreciate her uniqueness. And he had reasoned if she was running away from her own distinctiveness then she must also be running away from all others who were different, just like her. This was the reason he had not told her what he felt was the most important reason that she should not leave.
It was better he had reasoned to himself to keep his affections a secret. Briar didn't want Tris' last memory of him to be disgust or pity. That would have been even worse than her leaving not knowing. He had weighed his options and decided that his best course was keeping his mouth shut. A course he'd so often followed and which had always worked for him before seemed on retrospect to have been a mistake. But, he thought, what's done is done and there was nothing he could do now.
Tris slowly placed her bag on the bed closest to the window in the room that she was meant to share with another student. Just as she began to unpack her bag the door to the room opened. A tall richly clothed girl walked in. Tris' merchant instincts began to set off warning lights. She had to live with this girl for an entire year. The other part of her reasoned that Sandry had been fine and this girl knew magic so it should be okay.
"Excuse me," the girl said, "I need the window."
"Uhh, sorry," said Tris a bit weakly. She'd really wanted that window but decided it was okay to give up a little. "I'm Tris, what's your name?"
The girl sniffed, "I suppose we must go through formalities. My name is Tara. Now if you'll excuse me I need silence while I unpack my things."
Tris sighed, this was going to be harder than she'd expected. By the end of that day Tris was getting very discouraged. Almost everyone appeared to be children of gentry and seemed to know each other already. Plus as Tris had her first classes she began to find that it was all just very boring.
To her surprise she found it very disappointing that everyone was the same. No one had a special talent that they discuss. It was just what she had asked for but she now found that it was not what she wanted. To her surprise she also found out that despite appearing to be normal magic wise people still found things about her to be abnormal.
So it was in a saddened state that Tris decided it was time to unpack her bag, on the side of the room away from the window. As she opened her bag she noticed a small bundle lying on the top that she had not placed there. She lifted it out gently and began to unwrap the bundle. Inside lay a clipping from Briar's Shakken.
Tris stifled a cry as she looked at the small bundle of leaves and twigs. That tree meant so much to him. By giving her this small piece it was as if he had given her a piece of himself. Tris had never known Briar to do such a thing before. Looking at this piece of him all the emotions she'd been feeling and had tried to suppress came surging through.
Trying to think more clearly Tris ran to the other side of the room and threw upon the windows, summoning the winds to her. She gazed out but needed more freedom. She looked about at the high walls which surrounded Lightsbridge. There was something different about them then the walls which surrounded Winding Circle. Those walls had given Tris the feeling of protection but these felt like a trap, trying to keep her in forever.
She suddenly realized that she could never feel free in this place and one thing she hated more that being thought of a different was being held by bonds, especially those she could not see. This realization was quickly followed by another. She could never be free while hiding her talents. Despite how hard she'd tried to convince herself they could not go hand-in-hand. Briar had tried to tell her this but she'd woven her web of deception too tightly for the realization to have come from outside.
Tris looked around her and was met with strangeness. None of this was what she had wanted. She wanted to be happy and now she realized that the only way to be happy was with those who loved her despite, no because of, her individuality. Tris carefully re-wrapped the clippings, placed them gently in her bag, gave one last glance to the room and ran out the door.
Tris began running to the docks then realized that she would not be able to sit through the long ride back. She stopped and watched the winds until she saw in one the directions to a horse trader. Despite the lateness of night the trader was still open. Though out of breath Tris quickly made a deal with the trader, paid him, mounted her new horse and was off, wind helping her along the way.
"Now I don't want you getting into any trouble," said Lark as she let go of Glaki's hand and pushed her toward Briar. "I'll be back for you tonight and I only want to hear good stories from Daja. And that goes for you too Briar."
Briar gave Lark a weak smile. Normally he would have responded to her joke in an innocent manner but Tris' absence had been weighing him down. He took Glaki's hand and tried to shake off the gloomy mood that had been following him every since Tris had announced that she was leaving.
Steering Glaki in the direction of the gardens surrounding the small house he said, "How would you like to see what I've done with the garden since you were last here?"
Glaki looked up into his face and asked, "When is Tris coming back? I really miss her. She's not leaving me too is she?"
As Briar looked down into the small innocent face he felt anger growing within him. He could understand Tris leaving him and their foster siblings but how could she have left this small innocent child?
"Tris would never leave you." He said trying to sound like a confident adult. "I don't know when she'll be back but she promised that she'd come back and Tris always keeps a promise. But when ever you get sad before she does just have Lark bring you over and we can do something fun, or whatever you want."
The face he had thought so innocent now looked up at him with seemingly great intelligence. "Don't worry Briar. She'll come back for you too. She promised." The girl was silent for a while then looked back up at Briar, "Can we go to the sea wall? Tris always took me there."
"Okay," Briar assented. "Just let me tell Daja where we are then we can go."
As Briar and Glaki walked back through the fence and down the path toward the house the foster siblings shared he wondered at the strange horse tied by Daja's forge. As they neared the house he thought he smelled the scent of the ginger cookies that Tris so loved to make when Glaki was coming for a visit and thought the heard laughter coming from the kitchen. He and Glaki walked into the house and then into the kitchen. A dark girl was sitting at the kitchen table and a red headed girl was standing at the sink, washing dishes.
Glaki pulled away from his grasp and ran over to Tris, enveloping what she could reach of her in a tight hug. Tris bent down and hugged Glaki back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Not seeming to want to let Glaki go she looked over Glaki's shoulder at Briar.
"I realized I couldn't be myself at Lightsbridge, without my family. I also realized I didn't want that." Although she was talking to the entire room Briar felt as if she was the only one she was talking too. Somehow this reminded him of his earlier anger towards her.
How could you leave her?! He yelled through their mind connection. It was so loud that Daja heard too even though she was not meant too. Daja got up and grabbed Glaki's hand and gently pulled her out of Tris' grip and out of the kitchen.
She thought you were going to leave her forever! You don't know how devastated she was this morning! Even as Briar mind thought this he knew that he wasn't really talking about Glaki but himself and he knew that Tris knew it too.
Instead of getting angry as he thought she would, Tris' shoulders slumped and she looked completely forlorn. "I thought you'd be happy that I was back." She said this so quietly that Briar almost missed it.
The sadness which filled her voice nearly broke his heart and all his anger drained away. He looked at her standing there all alone and could not control himself any longer. Taking two large steps he enveloped her within his arms and pressed her up against him as close as he could. Her arms closed around him and before he could make the move himself her lips were pressed tightly to his.