Life's a funny thing.

It's so tangible, so concrete-yet can be as delicate as the prettiest flower.

And it's flexible. It can be many things.

Like a game. It's an abstract, infinitely bigger than you can imagine game board at your very hands. Sometimes you may feel you're in control and can roll with the punches as they come. You feel unstoppable.

But then there's the unexpected happenings. Things you never would have seen coming, whether they were completely random or possibly brought on by your own hand somehow. It's the minor plays, mistakes, that may happen that can discombobulate the entire game and cripple its fate.

Things that can lower, even destroy the chances of you winning.

I'd say my experiences are similar to that.

Now life is saying, 'Oh, Robin! I know it's been several months since Grima's defeat, but let me present you with a spell you can't help but to cast and watch as you blow a gigantic, black vortex into existence in the middle of your study!'

I think I have one of the most...peculiar runs through life, and I'm still pretty young. And the whole thing with amnesia deleting about 99.98% of my previous life as I knew it (that .2 percent accounts for Chrom's name and my own, just for reference) and coercing me to take on a virtually new identify after meeting Chrom and the others two years back.

But by the gods, I don't know how long I could survive at this rate. Three months between destroying a massive hell dragon and now gave a lot of time for casual eating, studying and being…er, normal, I should say? I could've gone longer with this whole 'normal' lifestyle.

You know, and not have to worry about giant black holes being blasted in my study. But to my fault, I'd brought it upon myself with the cards I was dealt. Gods only knows how I messed myself up this time.

"KYAAA!"

I blink, breaking out of my daydream. Only a moment later there's a flash of light and the vortex spits something out. It crashes into me, making me stumble over my own feet and collapse backwards into a bookshelf. A bookshelf. It reminds me of the tome I had used to cast this Hell Hole Hex. As soon as I cleaned up my study that book was going into timeout. "Ow...godforsaken thing..." I mutter, then look down. There's a person on top of me.

Well, I wasn't expecting the recreation of physical matter to transpire during this experimental process, so I'm a bit puzzled. Even more so when I notice what they're wearing— my exact same black set of robes that I always favored! Did I clone myself or something? Tharja would have a field day with that…a rather horrifying one.

"Uh, hello?" I say. Their head is somewhere in my abdominals, so I can't see their face. I can clearly see their hair, which is the same white sheen that I had. It trails a bit longer than mine, but that could help other people differentiate me from him. This was revolutionary, groundbreaking! I had to see what this 'extra' me was all about.

I take New Age Robin by the shoulder, shaking a bit. "Excuse me, sir? Are you alright?" I hear a groan, and he finally raises his—

-HER head up, looking up at me. It's a woman. Oh goodness, I created a woman me. I don't think this could get any more awkward.

For a moment she and I just stare at each other, then suddenly this me lookalike jerks and raises up. She shoves me away, scrambling up to her feet. "You dastard, I am married!"

"Pardon me for acting as an impromptu landing pad, but I'm not interested in any woman who's in wedlock. Or looks like me." I add.

She-me scowls a bit, eyeing me suspiciously, and I can see her mentally comparing our appearances. "…who ARE you?" She says finally. Then she looks around my trashed study, her eyes widening. "And WHAT have you done to my study?"

"Uh, huh?" I stand up, waving an arm about. "This is my home, milady. You're the one who came flying out of that hellish portal."

"Portal?" She says incredulously.

I move around her, pointing to where it is. "Yeah, it's right there...uh, disappearing."

"WHAT?" She shoves me aside into a wall. "Nooo! Damnation! It's gone! It's shrunk down to nothing! How am I to get back...er, uh...to home?!"

I pull my head out of the hole in the wall, breathing a sigh of relief. Oh, so it wasn't a clone of me after all! Thank goodness. I couldn't imagine how strange it'd be explaining how I made a female that looks like me. I'd get all types of flak—mostly from the crowd of women that chase me every Friday, but that's a different story.

Meanwhile, she's searching the area where the portal vanished frantically. "I can't stay here. I don't...I don't belong here in this world...!" She sighs, going down to her knees.

"Hey...I can just cast the spell again if you want me to." I say, going to her.

She turns to meet me, incensed. "If I want you too? I do! I don't know exactly what you were doing or why you even exist. It's absurd! I never thought of having a...male lookalike."

"I think I'm understanding all this now, though." I say "At first I thought you were a copy of me, but I recall reading a book on the concept of theoretical multiverses not too long ago..."

She perks a bit, and visibly loses some of her steam. "CTM Edition 3.02, penned by Victor Vanus III?"

"The very same. I think I may have pulled you from your universe." I scratch my head, then shake it. "Though, I have no clue how I botched a scrying spell that badly."

"You were trying to cast a scrying spell." She says slowly. "What on earth were you trying to see?"

I rub the back of my head. "…what they had on the menu at my favorite tavern."

"Oh, for the love of—today is Wednesday! They always serve the beetroot pie and hard apple cider. It's my favorite Tavern as well!" She narrows her eyes in a slight glare. "You mean to tell me that you ended up pulling me across space and time because of that?"

I extend my arms out. "I couldn't remember! And the trip there takes me several hours on foot, so I didn't want to go and be disappointed with what they were serving…..uh, where did you get that rock from and what are you going to do with it?"

"I think a nice blow to the head will knock some sense into you, because so far I have seen none!"

She's coming towards me now. Oh gods, she really was going to clout me! "Hey, wh-whoa WHOA," I back up. She stops and watches me closely. "Listen...you're not stuck here." I say carefully. "I'm going to try to replicate the spell, but you've got to help me find the book first."

She huffs, then nods sharply. "Very well, then. You've spared yourself for the moment. What's the title of the book?"

…Uh?

I don't know if it's because I'm nervous, or something else. My mind is blank as my plate was after last week's Royal Festivale Feast. "Uh, it's...I can't-" I begin.

She holds up something new in her hand. Where did she get a fig from? "If you're about to say you can't remember, I will gladly help you."

I raise my hands up. "Okay, eeeeasy." Goodness, this woman was as hot-headed as any bull. "Maybe it slipped my mind because I'm nervous right now and you look like a madwoman with a fig. Just...maybe put it down, and I can recall."

"Fine."

I blink, and her hand is suddenly empty. I don't know what's scarier, the fact she can do that in general or how many people she's blindsided. Either way, I'm still as blank as when Chrom first found me lying in the field two years ago. I look about, maybe trying to get a glimpse of it. "What...what the? Why can't I...I can't remember what happened to it!"

I stop and rub my temples. Something was wrong; no, something was VERY wrong, and I just noticed. I can't remember what the book was entitled-nor do I remember casting the actual spell. What fresh hell is this? It's like this huge chunk of memories separated between me sitting down with the book and me rambling in my head about life. Oh damn, the spell must've driven me crazy and I didn't realize until now!

Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn to face her. "You've been rambling under your breath like some old crazy these past moments. Do you not remember what you've done?"

"I...that's just it, I can't remember what happened! All I know is that-"

"The book you-and I, by the way-received was from a private wing of the Ylissian library, after the new bookkeeper Amara recommended it to us," She finishes. "May I remind you that it was a book of the dark arts, so astutely crafted to mess with your mind?"

"You're good."

"No, I'm just still spared my wits. Perhaps it did something to your mind while you were casting it. It's equally likely you just made an error somewhere. A typical spell used for clairvoyance should NOT have had a physical effect in reality." She raises an eyebrow. "Especially something as extreme as pulling someone across space and time."

Aggressive and blunt, I see.

"I've got to find that book!" I get to my knees, tossing aside various items to search. "Robin, can you help me look through all this clutter for it? I have a vague picture of what it looks like. It's sorrel colored with black binding."

"Quite, since two pairs of hands will get the job done faster, Robin." She quips back.

"Oh! Er, that is your name right?" I ask, pausing for a moment. "I mean…it'd have to be, considering what we've established here today."

"What if my mother wanted to name me something more effeminate, like Nancy or Margaret?"

I cringe slightly. "You don't…look like a Nancy or a Margaret."

"Gods, you're telling me! I could barely get that out." She stoops down near me, sending a wry grin sideways. "Yes, my name is the same as yours, goof. I'm honestly curious to all of the parallels and diversions that run between our universes."

"Well for one, I'd never let my hair grow out that long."

"I'm sure you'd never consider marrying Chrom, either? Seems like a bit of a downer since you're a man, but I'm sure you'll have little issue on finding yourself a wife. I bet you're a real Casanova, aren't you?"

"…you're married to your version of Chrom." I say.

"Yes." Robin grins at me. "You sound a bit jealous there, or possibly I'm imagining it."

"You're clearly imagining it, but goodness…" I get back to work, shuffling aside things as I look. "It makes sense for you."

"Would you marry him if you were a woman?"

"Would I—what? No! What type of question is that?! I…I don't know; I don't think about things like that. A-Apparently so!" I add, motioning to her. "I appreciate our close brotherhood as it is, no more! And no, I am not a Casanova!"

Robin laughs a bit. Funnily enough, and she was raging like a she-demon a minute prior. "You're turning red over there. I'm just fooling around with you. Besides, when will I ever get the chance to continue teasing an alternate version of myself like this?"

I get a glimpse of something, and move aside clutter to get to it. "…..well." I say, my voice higher than normal. "I-I suppose you'll have a lot of those chances."

"…what do you mean?!" She quickly comes up next to me, staring down at what I've uncovered. There's the book aright. It seemed to have had a bit of a rough time with the spell backlash too, since it's charred black and the pages are all but readable. I hold my breath as I reach out and touch it lightly.

Poof. It crumbles into a pile of ashes.

"…uh, heh…oops." I rub the back of my head, grinning at her nervously. "Well! Seeing as to how I can't recall how to cast the spell at the moment and the book turned to ashes, I-I believe that you may have to postpone your trip back home."

"You're saying I'm stuck here until you remember the spell."

"I, er...yes. That's exactly what I mean."

I throw myself out of my home, dashing away with my head covered. Objects are flying like hell bent bats from the front door, headed by a whirling white haired tornado.

"Inconvincible, irresponsible…BUFFOOOON!"

The Tales of Two Tacticians

by Night Watcher 07