Code Geass: Insanity Plea (Rewrite)
A/N: During the time period that the power was out following hurricane Sandy (AKA Superstorm Sandy) I had several Ideas and actually did a full rewrite of the first chapter of Insanity Plea in part because I really couldn't do much... I also worked in a few homages to works by a few other writers who have done Code Geass stories.
Lelouch Vi Britannia; 99th emperor of Britannia also known as Zero the man of miracles was pacing back and forth in his private rooms because he had a problem; his best friend and Knight of Zero, as well as his intended replacement as Zero had managed to survive the destruction of the Lancelot Albion... but he was badly injured in the incident; if Lelouch hadn't been able to get him to the medics in time Suzaku would have bled out despite the effects of the 'live on' command. Currently Suzaku had regained some mobility... but Lelouch seriously doubted that even Suzaku would be able to dodge KMF rifle rounds on crutches...
'Damn it all! The Requiem is supposed to be complete in a few days and Suzaku won't be able to stand on his own for another month let alone play his role' Lelouch groused internally; unfortunately he really couldn't afford to delay the date of the execution... a month was already pushing it... too much longer and people would start to question why he was keeping the Black Knights alive... he had to come up with some way to prevent Kallen and the Black Knights from being executed while the 'Demon Emperor' still died and took the hatred of the world with him to the grave. At the thought of Kallen dying his heart clenched painfully... if anyone deserved to live a happy full life (other than Nunnally of course) it was her, she had stood by him until he had been forced to break her heart... Then an idea struck him – he didn't entirely like it, for it meant that he would break Kallen's heart yet again... but it was his best option... it would make sure that the Zero requiem was still completed... and it would give Kallen the adoration that he knew deep down that she deserved.
After informing Suzaku of the change in plans (and having to convince Suzaku that this was the best course of action since Suzaku was against anyone else having to bear the burden of having Lelouch's blood on their hands) Lelouch made his way to the prison but made a short detour to the depository to pick up one of Kallen's possessions: her purse with the concealed blade... 'Kallen used this blade to threaten my life once before... it's only fitting that it becomes the blade to claim it now.'
Kozuki Kallen was sitting in a corner of her cell wondering how things had turned out like this – Zero; Lelouch; the man that she had put all of her faith in, the man she had trusted above anyone else, the man she had fallen in LOVE with, had betrayed them all. He'd defeated Schneizel, defeated the Black Knights and then captured them all, he then went on to enslave the world in his mad quest for power, and if that wasn't enough, he was also going to execute them. How could she have fallen in love with this monster? 'I can't believe that I ever followed, ever loved that bastard' she thought, she simply couldn't comprehend it how had she missed all of the clues, she could clearly remember now bouts of crazed laughter that should have tipped her off to his dangerous insanity, but no... her mind had been corrupted by her love for the monster, for this Demon. When she had heard that laughter she had been worried about him, she could remember small snippets of conversations that the two of them had had when he had still been Zero; when she still though of him as her hero. Snippets of conversations that she thought meant that he returned her feelings for him, she could only logically conclude that even as far back as then that he had been manipulating her... yet no matter how hard she tried it just didn't ring true when she tried to convince herself that she hated him… there was always that nagging question of 'What If?' standing in the way. 'What if he had been good then? What if losing his sister had done something to him?' she really didn't believe that nagging corner of her mind with its traitorous love consumed doubts... but then again she couldn't bring herself to discard these thoughts either... they resonated with some part of her soul deep within... as though there was a fundamental truth there... one so terrible that it threatened to destroy her...
Suddenly the cell door opened and a back-lit figure entered; whoever it was, she noted he seemed to be trembling slightly she wondered if he could be cold since there was little reason to fear her any more... It took her a second to recognize the robes and hair and when she did she couldn't hold back the sudden rush of anger...
"What is it… your majesty?" She spat out hatefully and was surprised to actually see him flinch at the vehemence of her words, something was clearly off here. She watched amazed as he collapsed onto his knees and watched disbelieving as a few tears started to form a puddle on the ground while he purposely slid something to a stop in front of her... she stared at it for a second it was her purse knife! Suddenly she heard his voice and looked up toward him... She didn't believe, couldn't believe, what she had just heard come from his shaking wavering voice, the Demon was a man who clearly only cared for his own life and power... so she had to just be having some kind of absurd dream... right? "Wait… WHAT!?" she asked it was impossible he couldn't have asked that!
"Please Kallen; I beg of you. Please… kill me." Lelouch repeated a little louder, his voice certain but cracking with fear. His plaintive plea resonated with that deep part of her, that core that seemed to ignore all that Lelouch had done that deep part of her that would love him no matter what he did.
This was the chance she had been waiting for, the chance she'd spent a month locked in this cell praying for; heck, he was even begging her to kill him… so why couldn't she? 'Why can't I kill him? He's right there! I can end it now! So why can't I do anything? And why does his begging for death scare me so?'
Kallen couldn't understand it... she was Kozuki Kallen, ace of the Black Knights, a woman who had laughed in the face of death so many times it had become routine... Nothing scared the Red Lotus of Japan... so why; she wondered, 'Why do I find those three words; "Please kill me." so terrifying?' Nothing had ever scared her like this before... not even close.
"Why?" was all she was able to voice, and even that died off weakly. Her entire world felt like it had just been turned inside out she trembled the world wasn't making any sense anymore.
"Because otherwise he'll kill you and Nunnally." Lelouch replied in his broken, strained voice, shuddering as he said it.
"He? Who's He? Aren't you the Emperor?" Kallen replied, confused by his words that primal fear rising even further, not a fear of death but a fear of something that she felt she had done deep down... a fear of the consequences of her actions, of his next words.
"I'm sorry Kallen, I'll have to explain quickly; I'm afraid there's much time…"
Before she could ask him what he was going to explain, he started to speak again.
"I am a broken man… the Lelouch you've been fighting is but a shard of the one that used to exist; the Lelouch you have fought against, this 'Demon', is the old Lelouch's desire for revenge given form…" His voice hitched before he cried out "GAH! NO! You are not getting control back!" he yelled as he collapsed to the ground again and seemed to struggle for control "Please Kallen! KILL ME NOW!" he yelled begging desperately as though this request was the single most important thing he had ever asked her to do; Kallen however couldn't move she watched in utter horror as she saw the physical expression of an apparent internal war before Lelouch collapsed to the floor just breathing raggedly and sounding entirely exhausted as he breathed a sigh of relief.
Kallen in her horror induced stasis could only let her mind race with the implications of what Lelouch had just said, the utter desperation in his tone telling her that he spoke the truth. 'Wait the Demon isn't the real Lelouch? Then what is going on? I don't understand! Then Who - no - What is in front of me?'
"Then what part of Lelouch are you?" she asked shakily, not really comprehending what he had just told her. Part of her, a part that was growing ever fainter was screaming at her that he was lying again, that he was trying to trick her... but the rest of her asked what reason he had to do that, what reason that he would have to try to trick her into killing him. A part of her prayed that it was true, that the man she had fallen in love with really had been who she thought he was, that Lelouch had been the greatest hero the world had ever seen... whilst the deep primeval fear grew from the very thought of it, for it meant that she had failed the man she loved in the worst possible way, that her actions had played a part in turning a man, the man she loved and still loved she realized, who should have been the Savior of the world into the greatest villain the world had ever seen, it meant that her abandoning him had turned him into this, but she couldn't understand why... though .
"If you need to know…" he started and she nodded her head weakly "I see… I am that part of Lelouch that will do anything to protect the people I lo… NO! You are not going to hurt her!" he yelled desperately before collapsing to the ground seemingly at the limits of his will power. "Sorry Kallen… I protect the people I love… please Kallen… Kill me… I don't want to be that bloodthirsty beast… Please Kallen I beg you… I don't want you to die..." his face was a mask of absolute terror at the thought.
Just five minutes before Kallen would have been ecstatic to see the man before her terrified, but now she was absolutely devastated… the man in front of her had broken and his personality had split into fragments… and she was part of the cause. Now one of those fragmented personalities was begging her to kill him… because he couldn't stand the thought of another personality killing her.
She and the other Black Knights had done this to him… she had done this to him… their doubt and betrayal of Lelouch, of Zero, after he'd thought his sister had died had shattered him.
'Oh God; what have I done to him?' She had fallen in love with this man; this man who had done so much for Japan; for her… She finally understood why he told her to "Live on"; he had sacrificed himself back then to protect her… 'And how did I repay him? By letting him break; letting him finally shatter? Now he's here begging me to kill him so that I may live?' She had only just realized that she'd been crying long enough to form a puddle of tears to match Lelouch's.
She felt absolutely disgusted at herself; she had wanted to kill him for betraying the Black Knights; she had hated him for what he had done… hated him for betraying her… hated him for not loving her back… but he had not betrayed the Black Knights… they had betrayed him at the worst possible time… she had let him push her away at the worst possible time… she had let him push her away out of love… and she had wanted to kill him for it? 'What kind of a terrible person am I? I've hurt him so badly… and I wanted to kill him after I did this to him.' she thought as she fought the rising bile.
"I'm sorry… Lelouch… I'm so sorry" she started but suddenly Lelouch lunged towards her and she automatically grabbed the knife and buried it in his stomach.
For Kallen it didn't really register what had just happened as she stared in shock at her bloodstained hands until Lelouch whispered in her ear in obvious pain "Thank…you… Kall…en…" Obviously having to force each pained syllable, as he slowly wrapped his arms around her in a final embrace. "Thi…s is… my… fin…al… gift… you'll… be the… woman… who… saved… the… wor…ld… fro…m… me…"
At hearing this she panicked "No Lelouch… NO! PLEASE SOMEO…" But Lelouch cut off her panicked cry for aid with a kiss; a kiss that contained all of the passion that she had searched for when she kissed him at Ashford… she tried to fight it at first but found herself melting into the kiss blissfully and only came back to her senses as Lelouch broke the kiss and whispered a final few words before he started to fall to the side, Leaving Kallen absolutely terrified as she watched his beautiful violet eyes close.
"Livvee...on…Kaallennn…my lovve... my Queen..."
Never before had such a content, peaceful smile frightened her so. The expression adorning Lelouch's face was more terrifying to her than any she had seen before; even his most demonic smirk of victory couldn't compare to it. Both smiles promised death, but while the Demon's smile promised your death, Lelouch's smile promised his. It promised that he wouldn't fight to survive, and that was what was truly terrifying... because it meant she'd live on in a world without him.
She caught her broken love and laid him down softly, she had finally felt his words resonate in her soul, she blinked back the tears of an emotion so profound that it shook even the deepest parts of her soul… the part that never lost faith in him. Working on automatic as her mind screamed in agony, she proceeded to rip strips of cloth from his robes to try to staunch the bleeding while she begged him to stay with her and screamed in desperation for a doctor as she fought to hold back the tears that only hinder her chances at saving him. "NO! LELOUCH! Please! I love you! Please stay with me! Don't die! Please! I love you! Did you hear me?! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE! SOMEONE HELP!" Her plaintive wail echoed down the hallways letting them all know that something was wrong... but only General Tohdoh bothered to listen to the words in her cry.
Lelouch dimly heard Kallen's terrified cries and thought 'I am so sorry Kallen; I am sorry I had to do that to you; but it was the only way I could be sure that the Zero Requiem would still happen. Forgive me… my love… at least we were able to spend time together at the end…' Lelouch put an enormous amount of effort in to give Kallen one last smile before his entire world faded to nothingness unaware to how much that smile terrified her.
A/N: I actually do have a short story plot written for this... but don't hold your breath on it receiving new chapters anytime soon. this was a product of Hurricane Sandy and a lack of power...