Ok, I'm just going to say this, my friend was killed in a car accident this past weekend and I've been feeling emo. So I decided to write this, and I think it turned out well.
Here it is, This is all in, I think, 5 oneshots, all in random Weasley POV's about their addictions. It's a little squicky later on so it's rated highly. But this shows Bill and Charlie first, then FnG, then Ron and last Ginny. There is really no point to this except that I was feeling emo and wanted to write.
So without further ado, please enjoy,
Painted red
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Have you ever been so hurt that you would do anything to take the pain away? Have you ever just wished yourself better? Have you looked for a way to take out the misery? Remove the guilt? Banish the anger? Have you actually tried to do something about it, or just bottled it up? Well, let's explore some ways to take away the darkness in your heart. Some ways used to give you a calm high. Let's take the hurt away, shall we?
Bill's thoughts and troubles.
The alcohol burn of fire and red wine.
I hate being looked up to. Why do I have to be perfect? Just because I'm older doesn't mean that I know everything. Merlin! How am I supposed to run everything when you're gone? I'm just a kid. But apparently I'm not. I can't have responsibility and still have fun. There's no more time to be a kid. I'm grown up now, graduated. I'm supposed to live on my own, have a job, run my life. When you grow up with someone always there for you, when you grow up with so many people around you, when you grow up always being taken care of, you learn it's a harsh, cold world out there when you're thrown out alone. Yeah, I'm Bill and yeah, I'm the first to leave, and yeah, it scares me.
I've been trying to live on my own for a few years now. It's hard, I have to say. I go to colleges all day so maybe I can get that job I want at Gringott's, then I work all night and earn barely enough money for the flat I'm renting, much less food. Like I say, it's hard. Maybe now that Charlie's graduated, we can live in the same place. That way, while he's working, he can help pay some bills and I might be able to cut a few hours work and get a few extra hours sleep. Hopefully, he'll be up for it. Right now though, I think he's living in college dorms, training to be a certified Dragon trainer. I wish I would have chosen to live in the dorms. It's bloody less concern knowing I'll be eating a hot dinner every night. But nope, I'm not. I'll just have to wait a few more years until something good comes from my hard work and sleepless nights. Just think, next year, I'll be graduated for real this time!
ONE YEAR LATER
Wow. I never knew it would feel this empty to be free from school. School ended a few months ago and now I'm graduated. I've quit my nightly job and gained incredible sleep. Now I have a job here in Egypt. I work all day and I'm far from home, but being in a division of Gringott's bank, I earn enough money to survive. Whoever said money makes you happy, was apparently a bumbling idiot. They honestly knew nothing. I have to tell you, it's empty, going to work every day as a routine. I get up, shower, get dressed, go to work, count money for endless hours, get home, eat, and sleep once again. Sure it's not very stressful, but it is incredibly boring. There's nothing else to life, and I don't see my family anymore. If not for occasional writings, there's nothing tying me to my old life back home. There is one spark in life though. One thing that keeps me alive. It doesn't seem like me, and you'd never think I'd be one to drink, but yeah. I am.
Every few nights, I go out and apparate to a club. I'll meet Charlie there and we'll talk about how our lives are going. Apparently, Charlie doesn't get why I'm so down about routine. He has a blast at his job. He loves to go into work every day and try to learn new things about Dragons. But yeah, of course he'd be happy. He was always a happy little bugger. And now that he's got a job he loves, a job that he's wanted his whole dragon-loving life, there's nothing for him to be down about. He just meets me here to drink and reminisce, because I can tell he misses our family as much as I do. He once asked why we didn't just apparate home to visit, but he knew as well as I did that if we did, we'd never come back, we both miss our home and childhood too much. Being back would be too painful a reminder. Anyway, Charlie comes here to visit me, in the little bar called Hell's Fire, right between our two locations. See, I come here to drown away my sorrow and pain in the spicy drinks served for next-to-nothing by the bartender that has become our friend, over the many times we have been here. Sometimes I think he just comes with me to make sure I don't kill myself, but the point is, he's here and I can always look forward to this time we still have together to act like the children we wish we could be, to have the times that are long since gone.
You know, there's a reason this place is called Hell's fire. The alcohol haze burns your nostrils the second you enter, and the drinks themselves are even better than that. There's the simply put 'burn' as the liquid runs down your throat and is like an acid that corrodes you from the inside out. The simple wine, bitter like blood, or sweet and stinging like a spoiled juice. Or the flaming vodka that is so thin you could choke, expecting it thicker. The whiskey that makes you gag with it's thick, heaviness, making you feel like you're drowning. The drinks that are thin enough to make you get tipsy, or the ones so thick, they smash you immediately and by the second drink, feel like syrup running down your throat. Either way, whatever you drink, you know that when you enter this place, there's no way you're walking out without a hangover potion in your pocket. That's why sometimes I think Charlie comes. Not just to spend time with me, but to make sure that I have that potion, to make sure that I can apparate or floo even though my limbs are heavy like sandbags, and I can't see at all. Sometimes it hurts me so much just to know that Charlie seems like the responsible one. He shouldn't have to be. I'm the older one. I was always meant to be the on that takes care of all my younger siblings. Not the other way around. So there's another thing to add to my list of reasons to drink.
This list. This list isn't 'real' so to speak, but it does exist. It's in my head. Locked in the files of the black hole that is my mind. This list seems to just grow longer all the time. I've wondered if I should take antidepressants at times. But I'd rather not get addicted. I suppose you could say it was worse to be a drinker, but still, I guess it's just pride. Who'd trust a bank teller who's hopped up on pills? Well either way. This list is not getting shorter. Day by day I fill my empty hours by adding onto the list. I don't suggest getting hooked on drinking though. It has given me reason to live, something to look forward to, day after day, but I do know that it's slowly killing me. There's not much I can do. Charlie's there for me and I know he will be till the end. That there is one reason I know I should stop, but since I can't, I'm not going to waste my time and suffering trying. I'd rather enjoy my time with Charlie and my sweet elixir that keeps me sane.
Heed warnings of addiction's bliss. Always be there, the one time you aren't, may be their last.
-Bill Weasley
-Charlie Weasley
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Well, what did you think? I hope you liked it! The next chapter is Fred and George. I hope you'll like the rest of this. Please don't flame me. I'm only writing this via emotion. As usual, please review?